Arnav and Aman an hour later cleaned up the bedroom flushing the ashes into the toilet and started their drive back to Arnav's home. Neither of them spoke anything the entire drive as they had their eyes fixed onto the road.
Aman looked over his shoulder to check on Arnav who threw his head back against the rest uncaringly and tiredly. Take a week break from work. Aman suggested trying to strike conversation to ease him up a little.
That wont be necessary, came Arnav's nonchalant reply.
Aman shook his head in the complete loss of hope. When did you transfer everything to Anjali's name.
The day you took over your dad and partnered with me. Arnav replied, stretching his feet to the dashboard, closing his eyes tiredly.
Its your hardwork. Dont you think you should have something on your name?
Should I be worried? Arnav asked mockingly.
No, just saying. You have family now to take care of.
The word family reminding him of Khushi and the growing baby, Arnav once again remained in painful silence, his eyes showing absolute nothing, as blank as clean slate.
It wasnt your fault Arnie!
I ruined everything she had, everything she was...
Aman heard his friend uttering in whisper looking steadily at the narrow road in front.
It wasnt you, it never was you! Aman firmly said one more time.
It was exactly me Aman for what she is today, nothing but broken woman totally unaware of the actual reasons. I was there, I was bloody right there. I could have...His voice squeezed up deeply by the image that flashed in his mind. She needed me most then and what did I do. Walked away like coward..
No you reacted like every man does.
But she is not like every woman Aman. Thats the difference. She is Khushi, my everything. And I walked away feeding my everything to an evil. She was fighter, and I broke her down into weak.
Arnav looked at Aman and smiled mockingly, I was better on streets, at least no one would have got hurt or were unhappy because of me.
Aman stopped the car as they reached Arnav's house. You got to stop torturing yourself Arnie. I dont know if I need to suggest you to be open with her. But looking at you, I think you need to come out clean with her and have a fresh start.
What do I say to her Aman? That she was taken advantage in our own room, on our own bed and I did nothing to stop and sulked drawing disgusting conclusions. And honest in god, do you really think she will be handle it. Can any woman handle such things? She doesnt need to suffer anymore.
Opening the door, he paused for a moment and said, I should be the one suffering the consequences for the choice I made that night. Not her. Never her.
Thanks for the ride. With that Arnav walked away as Aman watched him first time with his shoulders slouched in defeat, and in loss.
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The next day Khushi woke up at 7 to find Arnav sleeping on his bed on the other side of the glass wall. She re-checked the time on wall clock wondering why he didnt wake up yet, but remembering how late he had been up last night, she assumed it as fatigue and resumed her routine.
In next 2 hours, she got ready, prepared breakfast and wondered why he didnt show up at the table. She went back to check on him to find him still sleeping. She was about to open the glass door but remembering his last night statement on permission, she retreated her steps and walked away. She grabbed herself toast and left the house to work.
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It was around 10am when Khushi learnt from NK that Adi was dead, in his call to pass on his condolences to ASR. Khushi was shocked to hear as Arnav didnt mention a word of it. Against her resolve, she called Arnav realizing why he was so upset since last night and she acted like an insensitive brute without trying to look through the situations.
But as unexpected, the call went into voicemail. He called Aman and was told that he didnt come to office yet. So she thought he must be home. She took permission from her work and took cab to her home. On the way she tried to reach Nani and Anjali and none answered the call which explains they must be devastated. She decided to meet them after she checks on Arnav.
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Nani, aap? You should have called me. I would have come. Arnav opened the door to Nani and Anjali. Arnav's gaze shifted to the luggage placed next to Nani.
Whats wrong Nani? He looked at Nani and Anjali.
Can I come and stay with you? Please? Nani asked fighting tears.
Nani, wha..Ofcourse, what kind of question is this?
Can I stay here for good until my last breath?
Whats wrong with you? Anjali what happened to her? Arnav asked worriedly wrapping his arm around feeble frame of Nani.
She heard us last night. Anjali said with her eyes lowered.
Arnav looked at her in shock and as he was about to remove the hand from her shoulder. Nani held it firmly. They waited for the driver to keep the luggage inside. While Anjali closed the door, Arnav walked Nani to the living room.
Is Khushi around? Anjali asked cautiously before her Nani could start anything.
No she left to work.
Does she know? Nani asked.
No, and I dont want her to know that its me.
Nani nodded as Anjali sat next to Nani. Arnav looked at them questioningly, Nani you are here even after knowing that I was responsible for what happened to Adi.
My Son promised alot to you beta but he failed to strike a balance between you three. Had he prepared you all well in advance, this day would have never come. I dont know if I have to cry for his death or be happy for your deeds.
Arnav looked at her in surprise realizing that Nani is not hating him for what he did.
People like him should be punished. And I am glad it happened and more happy that my grandson did it saving another woman being victimised.
Arnav looked at Anjali and was surprised to receive a warm smile from her.
She wants to stay with you forever Bhai.
We gave nothing to you all these years that you yearned for. Can you please let me seek forgiveness on my son's behalf for not giving you the love you deserve.
Nani, what crap are you both talking? You want to stay, then stay. You dont need anyone's permission and stop talking all these rubbish. Arnav didnt like Nani feeling guilty of something she was never responsible...Arnav pulled her into an embrace.
Anjali fought her tears and stood up to leave.
Where are you going? Arnav asked creasing his forehead in confusion.
Work..She smiled feeling a bit out of place.
Wait let me quickly show you your room, tell me freely if you dont like anything, I will have it changed.
Arnav was about to walk towards the guest bedroom when he heard her say, I am not staying here bhai.
Arnav stopped in his tracks and said, Oh Ok. His voice sounded disappointed.
No, not what you think. I am moving in with Aman. Anjali said with shy smile.
Moving in? Nani how could you allow this? Arnav suddenly putting up the protective brother hat.
That brought a huge grin on Nani's face. Does that make any difference? I am sure they must have fulfilled all the ceremonial activities of married couple by now.
Nani? Anjali chided feeling embarrassed.
Arnav broke into smile and turned around to notice the main door being unlocked from outside. And the next moment he saw Khushi walking in a bit hurriedly towards him not registering Nani and Anjali.
I just heard the news about Adi, you doing O...Khushi stopped in her tracks as she spotted Nani sitting on the couch and Anjali coming from behind the blocking pillar.
Nani? Khushi instantly rushed to the old lady and hugged her. I am sorry to hear Nani.
Arnav stood far as Nani and Anjali broke into cries while his wife comforting them for the man who led her to this situation.
Arnav left them alone stepping away from the house before Khushi could stop him.
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2 weeks passed...
Like every other weekday morning, the day started with Arnav's jog, Nani and Khushi's lighthearted chat over cup of coffee. From the rim of the coffee mug, Khushi observed him removing his muddy kicks at the entrance. He neither looked at her nor paid any attention to the ladies.
Ever since Adi died, thats exactly how he behaved. Never tried to look at her, nor made an attempt to strike a conversation irrespective Nani is around or not. Nani too didnt come in between them but Khushi was sure that Nani knows about their strained relation.
The only thing he communicated with Khushi was SMS messages and that too 3 each day...
Reached Office?
Had Lunch?
Started Home?
Apart from these, he asked not a letter more or less. When she tried to comfort him for the loss of Adi, all she got was his simple nod and a retreating frame. What she initially thought as his overpowering ego slowly seemed like his conscious decision to stay aloof from her. And she assumed he is doing it for the conditions she putforth.
But the truth is Arnav couldnt look at her in the eye. He found himself guilty reflecting in her eyes. Neither could he hide it nor should he reveal it. Every min she was around, he faced the battle within himself for moving away from her that night. The only thought that kept lingering in his mind these days. And so he avoided being around her giving her as much space as she needs, not forcing her into anything she doesnt like, letting her live on her terms.
So like any other day, while he got ready after his jog, Khushi and Nani together prepared the breakfast. Mostly Nani being the one who could clank up the table with her gossips and community news, the couple ate in silence, one trying all his means to avoid to look at her while the other could do nothing but to yearn for his one loving gaze. And in no time, grabbing the last toast in his hand, he bid goodbye to the ladies in two plain words, without targeting it to specific audience.
His cold behaviour was not alarming initially, since the change was subtle and he still managed to SMS her every day with his questions. But slowly the days and the surroundings started taking different tone; mornings became more gloomy, nights became more lonely. She found herself less zestful and most of the times during her work, the panic and anxiety followed by loneliness of life without him overtook her. She underestimated it as her pregnancy hormones but she started feeling hopeless about her life, slowly drowning herself into another round of depression.
The only saving grace being Nani and her cheerful words, Khushi often found everything around her as off and wrong. She was used to the air of him forcing her but his sudden detachment taking her conditions too seriously threw her off the balance as sort of slowly poisoning her stable mind.
She put in lot of effort to get up in the morning as she slept too late each night just looking at the man working late until wee hours on the other side of the wall. Every night, She religiously waited for that one precious moment where he walks into her room silently like a shadow, kisses her forehead barely touching her, fixes her sheets and sits by the bed in silence for few mins. She didnt understand why he grew so detached from her yet showing how much he cares for her.
His silence filled her so much that she struggled to strike a normal conversation with others, often failed to catch the essence of the subject, landing herself up in utter confusion. She couldnt dare to ask him the reasons as that is what she wanted from him, forced him to oblige those conditions, So she couldnt complain but hope that one day he would understand she wishes totally opposite.
The door being closed behind him, broke Khushi's thoughts and like any other day she took deep breath at her fate and picked up the plate to put in the sink. Nani soon followed with her plate and as she was about to enter, Khushi sprinted to her bedroom clamping her palms to her mouth.
Nani knowing what it is, dropped everything in the kitchen, followed her to the room. Khushi after few mins, came out of the bathroom, looking exhausted and pale. I feel sick Nani. She muttered dabbing napkin on her mouth.
I know beta. Why dont you take time off today?
No Nani, I will be fi. And by the time she could complete, she once again rushed inside the bathroom for another round of vomit.
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It was around 10PM when Arnav reached home and found Nani sitting in the living room, which is very unusual as she hits the bed by 8.
Nani, kya hua? Havent you slept?
I am fine. Sit here I need to talk to you.
Is Khushi OK? He craned his head towards her bedroom.
What do you want me to answer, that she is fine or she is just barely hanging in there.
Arnav narrowed his eyes in confusion, Kya Hua Nani? He sat as his heart started trembling in fear of any bad news.
I dont know why you are keeping her in this house if you cant take care of her or even look at her.
Arnav looked away understanding what Nani is trying to say.
I kept quiet all this while because its between you both. But a pregnant woman will not survive this silence. Dont you see how much she needs you?
I am giving her what she wanted. I honestly dont know what else to do.
Then I cant spoon feed you. I am very angry with you for the first time. From the morning, she couldnt eat anything. Even water came out of her mouth before she could even gulp it down. Do you even check on her during day?
What? I texted her. She said she had food.
Txted her? Cant you call or are you too busy minting money to check on her?
Arnav ignored to answer her. Why didnt she eat anything. He loosened his tie as he asked and strode to kitchen to fix dinner for Khushi.
Nani followed saying, Morning Sickness. She was su..
What is that?
Boyfriend, You better get yourself updated with the pregnancy. She didnt go to office today. She stayed home, pretty much sat near the toilet vomiting all day. She tried to eat but she couldnt keep anything down.
What? Why didnt you call me? He fumed, hurriedly pouring water for her.
Why should a call make difference? No matter whether she cries or smiles, you need to be here. If you cant...Nani stopped herself saying as his jaw started to stiffen understanding what she implied. Anyway I took her to the temple a block away in the evening. She is feeling better now.
Your God is the last person who would help us. He was about to take the food when Nani stopped him.
Just do whatever it takes for you to stay close to her. She is emotionally drained...I will send the food later...This is the last thing she needs now.
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Arnav opened Khushi's bedroom door and found the room dark except the reading light by her side. Dressed in peacock blue chiffon saree, with her legs outstretched, she seemed to be too immersed in the book lying on her lap to notice her bedroom door opening.
Khushi lifted her eyes as she heard the door being locked and her breath hitched in her throat. Before Arnav could turn around from the latch, she looked down struggling to concentrate on what she is reading.
From her shaky posture, Arnav could tell she is aware of his presence, as she subtly shifted on her bed curling her toes. As Arnav splayed his hand on the bed before he sat, Khushi folded her legs with intention to stay away from him but she ended giving him more room to be closer to her.
His heart sank seeing her so fragile and weak within matter of hours. She looked no less than a withered leaf forming huge aching lump in his throat. If this is what it takes a woman to have a children, he would never want Khushi to bear a child.
Khushi had her eyes downcast as his hand slowly extended to take the book away from her lap. She didnt stop him to their surprise and found her palms laid upturned on her lap as if holding the imaginary book.
The night he burnt down all the evidence in the other penthouse, he took up every blame on him, including the admission of child being his and only his. But he didnt know nor felt the need to express that until this moment as he further extended his hand to sweep her pallu off her belly, brushing his knuckles against her trembling skin.
His feather touch...That was all needed for her. Her eyes instantly glistened pooling the warm drops as she understood the incredible underlying message that he accepted their child whole heartedly. And the next set of his words only proved her right making her proud of her man that moment.
Are WE having a girl or a boy? His voice constricted as he splayed his entire palm on her stomach giving warmth to the baby.
The warmth of his hand that moment wiped off every pain of hers, his words lifting the tears from her face, as they splashed real hard against his hand near her tummy.
Arnav raised his eyes in shock as this is the first time he is seeing tears dropping down her cheeks evidently and that broke his heart. How much she held within herself. How much more will she hold onto herself.
With new determination, he scooted towards her, sliding his hand to cup her downcast nape, he pulled her closer to rest her turbulent eyes against his wrenching heart.
And she did without putting up a fight, giving up all her resolves, conditions, only wanting to be held against him. She leaned forward resting her forehead against his chest, her heart slowly picking up the sobs.
They needed no words to cry over the pathetic turns their lives took. As his head rested on her shoulder, his tears wetting the bare skin, she crumpled his shirt in the front holding him closer, pulling him and not letting him go...
Sliding the other hand from her stomach to wrap it around her back, he pulled her onto his lap to hold her shivering frame as she cried a river of her lifetime. She tenaciously wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck, She cried bitterly, again and again pulling him closer and closer.
If you had to end what we had, why did you show me so much happiness, so much that I am now scared of that word...She mumbled into his neck as he cradled her gently.
He had nothing to say as he hugged her closer and mumbled his cries onto her shoulder as she let herself out like now or never, and he remained silent obliging her accusations.
You were the only one I had, you were the only one I believed, You do know that right, She pulled away and asked him cupping his face.
He closed his eyes in remorse unable to meet her eyes. The painful question stabbing every bit of him.
Please look at me and tell me, You do know that right? You do know that Khushi dont exist without Arnav right?
He nodded acknowledging her.
She held his lapels and shook him, Then why did you do this? Why did you shatter my dreams? Why did you take yourself away from me? How could you do this to us?
Arnav couldnt hold himself anymore as he bawled his eyes out shocking Khushi...
I am sorry..I am sorry..I am sorry for everything I have done..for every single thing I have done...for not being with you when you needed me most. But I swear Khushi, Every smile I gave you was true as much as every pain I gave you. It was not fake, it never was...
He cried loudly and vehemently as Khushi hugged him to hold him in one piece. Nothing really registered except that it was never fake as she assumed. She had no time to counter question or ponder on his reply as first priority was to hold him as close as possible, to tell him no matter what kind of relation they share, Giving him solace is her birthright that she cant snatch away even from herself.
She couldnt see the once ferocious man breaking down beyond control, not what she expected to see in this lifetime.
As he kept mumbling I am sorry Khushi...they both broke down in unison crying at their fate, silently expressing what they had gone through in life without each other.
VM I made from Arnav's POV:
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFsW-VV0imY[/YOUTUBE]
Direct Link (Youtube): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFsW-VV0imY
Song from Khushi's POV:
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