Author's Note: The storyline, characters or the narrative of this story will not be altered due to any cribbing, complaining or begging. This is my story and I will write it my way. If you are willing to wait and see how it plays, you are most welcome to stay through its journey. Your presence and feedback is very much appreciated. If, however, you cannot handle the way I am writing this story, you are free to give up on it. Thank you for being there for the story so far.
39. Allayed
"It does." I spoke, finally breaking the deafening silence. Vyan's surprised eyes gazed at my face. "It matters what we think of each other, Vyan, because it affects both of us in ways more than we can think."
"I don't understand." He said after a long pause. "I...I...what are you trying to say, Geet?"
I looked away to get my thoughts together. It was important that I made it clear to Vyan what he meant to me, as well as what his and my limits should be, but I neither wanted to offend him, nor I wanted him to know about the hammering guilt of my decision from seven years ago, which had led to drastic changes in not one, but many lives.
"Look, Vyan." I turned back to him. "I don't want things to sour up between us. I want us both to stay friends and colleagues like we are."
"So?" He was puzzled. "When did I ever say we have to be something more than that? Or, as you're saying, sour things up between us?"
Shaking my head, I knew I was starting to get impatient. I just wanted Vyan to understand my point. "No. I... You don't understand, Vyan." Gazing towards the evening sky for a few long seconds as Vyan looked at my face, waiting for me to clarify what I had said, I gathered my thoughts once again. With a deep breath, I turned back again. "Look, Vyan. I just want you to know that I don't feel anything for you beyond the admiration for a friend." It might be blunt, but being straightforward was the best way.
"I know that."
"So you must know, I don't want you to build hopes for something that won't happen." He frowned. "Your... feelings towards me will only lead you towards the worse..." It was a plea.
"You want me to not feel for you, or like you?" He was incredulous. "How am I supposed to stop feeling something for you, Geet?"
I looked away. "Please..." Begging was the last resort and I had fallen to it now as I whispered on. "Please don't do this. I won't be able to take the guilt once again. I won't be able to live through being the reason of someone's sorrow once again..."
"What are you talking about?" He questioned in bewilderment. "Geet, look at me." I shut my eyes tightly for a second as I felt a traitor tear drop on my cheek. His warm hand came up to wipe it and as soon as it touched my cheek, I backed away before quickly wiping it off myself. Taking a second to gulp the emotions boiling up my throat, I gathered the guts to look him in the eyes. They were confused for a few moments before suddenly they cleared and his furrowed eyebrows straightened. "It's about your past, isn't it?"
I avoided his eyes so he probed. "Geet?"
I didn't answer so he called once again which made me snap and shout at him. "Stop! I don't want to talk about it! Just leave it!"
Some more heavy moments passed by as I realised I was wrong in screaming like that. Vyan didn't say a word, giving me the time to come back to senses. There were people moving around us, some looking at us as they went and others not bothering at all. I could see from my periphery that Vyan was fidgeting. He walked a few steps away, walked back, ran a hand through his hair and face, put a hand on the hood of his car and then faced me.
"Geet." There was something different about his voice. It felt calmer, smoother. I turned to him. "Look. I have nothing to do with your past. It's not my job to probe into what and why and how it was, whatever makes you feel guilty."
I looked away. "What are you trying to say?" I questioned tiredly.
"You know my feelings." He was not beating around the bush anymore. "I like you. A lot more than one would like his friend or his colleague." I scrunched my eyes tightly shut. I didn't want to shout at him for saying what he felt. "In fact, I adore you, and you know it now." Finally having had enough, I turned to him to make him shut up when he knew I was trying to discourage him for having any kind of feelings for me in the first place and yet here he was openly confessing all that he felt. "And," he raised a finger to stop me from speaking anything, "you don't like me the same way, and I know that. But that totally does not mean I should blame you for all of it." My mouth opened a bit, but not to say something. It was in confusion of what he was trying to say. "No, Geet. You're not to be blamed for what I feel."
"But-"
"Let me finish first before you decide to say anything." Seeing that I wasn't going to say anything now, he continued. "See, you have always, directly or indirectly, let me know where I stand for you and what you feel for me. I know my limits, the limits I will never cross to be in your wrong books as well as the limits I won't cross to stand in the position where I would blame you for what happens to me."
"That does not solve the whole situation, or prevent you from getting hurt."
"Geet," he sighed exasperatedly, "my feelings are my problem and not yours. It's I who should think and be concerned about what happens of them, that whether they burn out on the stove or whether they turn out to be an awesome, beautifully garnished, tasty, finger-licking food serving."
He was joking and I knew it. I would have laughed over it any other day but not today.
"Come on!" He had clearly gotten over the serious phase in this discussion. "Fine, I'll write it on stamp paper that Miss Geet Handa is not to be blamed for Mr. Vyan Raheja and his silly feelings. Will that do?" I rolled my eyes. "Now stop worrying your pretty little head over it."
I wanted to say "shut up" but there was another worry in my mind. "What about the wrong impression everybody's taking of us because we work together, because we spend most of the time together, because we share a cabin...?"
"Let them." He snorted. "Honestly, you can not control anyone's thoughts. What they think about other people is not what other people are but how twisted their own minds are. All you can do is enjoy the fancily decorated dish they serve to you."
I finally cracked a small smile at his grin. He sure did have his own way of convincing people. "You're talking about food. Sounds like you're hungry!"
"Yeah! That's like my friend!" He clapped as he saw me smile slightly for the first time in this whole discussion. "Actually, yes. All this serious conversation has really made me hungry!" He rubbed a hand over his stomach. "How about we go eat something together?" He looked at me mischievously. "Kind of like a date." Seeing him wink, I opened my mouth to protest before he dramatically raised his arms up in the air and then let them fall on his sides. "Fine! Not a date. But how about dinner with a handsome friend?"
His tactics had lightened my mind and heart but I was still not at the point where I would react casually about all his jokes. "Snob!" I commented dryly, before agreeing to go on dinner with him.
Things started to change between Vyan and me after that discussion, yet everything remained the same. He and his behaviour remained the same, but now I knew what was behind it, I knew how he felt and that he was aware what his limits were. He had lifted a burden from my heart and mind that I was not and would not be responsible for his feelings. He had acted so maturely through this that I could not help but admire this in him.
That night, as I lay in bed, staring at the pale ceiling, I replayed the evening in my mind. The dinner with Vyan had been but the usual one. He had not made me feel like we had just had a grave discussion some time ago, he was perfectly casual, like he always was. It was I who held back and wondered how he could just be so easy. How was it possible for anyone?
As soon as I had come home, I had dialled up Raya's number. I needed to talk to her, to tell her what had happened and how I felt now.
"Di, what has happened is good. Vyan is very mature and a great guy. See, I told you not to worry over him." Raya had remarked after I had narrated the whole incident, yet I could not help but be anxious about what lay ahead for Vyan and my future. Raya tried to soothe my stress after she heard it all. It had some effect but I still had to share the thought which had, without invitation, been nagging me.
"Raya, do you think it's normal to behave so casually? I mean, you're saying Vyan is mature, then is Maan immature? His anger from all those years ago is still there..." I trailed off, knowing I had never discussed this with her so openly.
"Di, I can understand why you're so troubled. Maan felt betrayed, but you have to know Di, that you did not betray him. Fine, he liked you or he proposed to you but you were not bound to accept his offer so you should not feel as guilty. Anyway, what's past is past. With Vyan, the case is different. He likes you but he understands you don't have to like him back."
If only I had talked to Maan like I talked to Vyan today, things could have been different. I scrunched my eyes tightly shut, as I turned in my bed after ending the call with Raya. If only... Shaking my head, I decided there was no use regretting over the past. Perhaps there could be a way to make myself and him feel better about the present.
On Monday, as I was walking towards the building, Vyan's voice calling my name fell on my ears, making me stop and turn.
"Hi!" He smiled brightly. "I thought I'd grab the chance of walking the lovely lady to her office."
I looked at him warily, unsure of what he meant. When he noticed my face, he snorted. "Come on, Geet! I'm still the same ol' Vyan trying to flirt with the same ol' Geet!" I kept staring at him for a few more moments so he took a step back and made a cross over his heart with a somber expression. "I swear."
It made me smile a bit resulting in him letting out a dramatic breath and acting relieved. "Thank God! I thought the great Geet Handa is going to show me some temper now!"
We both fell into step towards the office as he talked animatedly. "But I know it's not in your control. After all, who can resist Vyan Raheja's charm?"
I gave him a look and rolled my eyes. "Shut up!" But I was smiling inwardly. I felt lighter, like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders and my friendship with Vyan had been renewed. It was a hopeful morning for me.
The next day, he was in high spirits as usual as he pulled out two chocolate bars from his pocket while we were in the cabin.
"This is for you," he thrusted one bar in my hands, "and this is mine."
"Chocolates early in the morning." I commented as he started to unwrap his bar and probed me to eat mine then and there.
"I've got news." He said with a sudden eagerness. "We aren't two-graders anymore!"
I laughed at this unexpected statement, giving in and unwrapping my own bar.
"Mmm... This is really tasty!"
"Is it?" His voice, which came a couple of seconds after my indulgent praise for the chocolate, was soft and it made me raise my eyes to him. I smiled slightly and nodded. "I'll bring more for you tomorrow."
"No, Vyan-"
"But please pay me for it!" He interrupted with a hand held high. "After all, it's not for free."
It was this in him I admired the most, his ability to make me smile, diffuse the tensions and ease the atmosphere in the snap of a finger.
As promised, he brought the chocolates for me the next day and did a great drama of being hurt when I tried to ask him the price.
"Okay, fine!" I said exasperatedly. "But tell me what I can do for you in exchange."
In a jiffy, his eyes filled with mischief, replacing the fake hurt.
"You sure you're not going to say no to what I ask for?"
"If I can do it, I will do it." I replied earnestly.
"You asked for it." He shrugged with a wide smile. "You have to go with me to dinner today."
"Uhh..." I was instantly cautious. "Dinner?"
He laughed seeing my expression. "Just dinner, nothing else," was his reassurance with a warm smile.
As promised by Vyan, it was just a very comfortable dinner that evening. He kept the atmosphere easy and made sure I felt no discomfiture with his actions or words. It made me respect him more, so when he politely asked for a dance, I did not turn him down.
It was just a friendly dance which ended quite soon as I heard, with giggles, while Vyan bragged about his dance expertise. As we went to sit back on our table after the dance, a girl appeared out of nowhere, her eyes fixated on Vyan.
"What a pleasant surprise to see you here!"
Vyan turned to look at her and then I saw a welcoming smile appear on his lips as he stood up. The girl gave him a light hug. His eyes flickered to mine to see the bewilderment I felt as she pulled away.
"Hi! How come you're here?" Vyan asked genially.
"Oh, just came for a small get together with my friends. Why don't you come meet them?" She put a hand on Vyan's arms. "They'll be able to know the mastermind behind the lovely interiors of my home."
I smiled a little at the slight reddening of Vyan's cheeks.
"Actually, Katrina-" Vyan started but she interrupted him.
"It's Kittu for my friends."
"Uhh, of course." Vyan passed her a smile before continuing. "Kittu, I'm here with my friend." He gestured towards me and then the girl turned to look at me.
"Hi, Miss Handa, I'm guessing." She held out her hand which I shook as I stood up to greet her.
"Geet." I smiled. "It's a pleasure meeting you Miss Katrina."
"Call me Kittu, please." The dimple which appeared on her cheek as she smiled made her look really cute. She may not seem eye catching at first but she was a young woman with dark, intelligent eyes and long, lustrous black hair. She was pretty in her own way. "I suppose you know I'm the client who never wants to let go of this amazing designer."
She pointed a hand towards Vyan and I noticed the way she looked at him. She really seemed to like him. "Yes, I guessed as much, and I don't blame you for not wanting to let this man go. He's a gem of a person." I smiled genuinely at Vyan, who smiled back warmly before turning all dramatic yet again.
"Oh, come on, ladies! You're going to make me melt in a puddle now with all this praise." He hid his face in his hands, trying to act shy, which made me and Kittu laugh. Somebody called Kittu from behind us so she took our leave, promising to see Vyan soon, and we settled back in our place.
"She's such a lovely person." I commented.
"Yes, she's really good. I've only met very few such clients who've become friends to me, and she's one." There was respect in his voice for her. I liked it.
"She really likes you." I said after some hesitation.
He looked at me seriously before jutting his chin out and raising the collar of his shirt. "She must! I'm likeable material, after all!" I giggled at his charade of haughtiness, but I could understand very well that he had easily diverted the topic. A picture was beginning to form in my mind, though, and it was a pleasant one indeed.
The next day, as I got off the bus at my regular time, I suddenly craved the same coffee I had had a couple of days ago in that deserted area. It was an impulsive decision for me then, to turn towards the direction I had gone to the other day, and begin walking. As I walked, I thought about my previous visit to that place. Maan had been there and we had had a complicated conversation, which I could not completely decipher. Perhaps the reason was because whenever Maan and I talked, we talked vaguely. We never hit a direct conversation, instead we always beat around the bush. Was it a natural thing, or was this some weird play of our subconscious?
I had not seen Maan during this week of work at ARK. Buzz was that he had been busy with some international clients at Khurana Constructions so he did not come to visit ARK at all, though he was keeping a strict check on the progress of the work there. I could not deny that Maan had evolved from a young, caring guy to a powerful and suave business tycoon. So much had changed.
I kept walking for quite a while and wondered if the journey seemed longer to me now or had I really walked this far the other day. Looking at my watch and then at the sky, I deduced that there was still some time before sunset. I promised myself I would not sit and enjoy the coffee like I had before. Instead I would just get it and begin the walk back because there wasn't going to be a coincidence again, and Maan would not be present again today.
It was there finally, the coffee shop. The warehouses were open yet and there was some more crowd today. I had thought of keeping a beeline for the coffee shop but my eyes wandered and fixated towards my right. The same sense of familiarity gripped me and I could not stop myself from taking steps towards calming my curiosity this time as I walked towards the stone path which led around the trees.
Step by step, as I moved forward, I could feel my heartbeat begin to race. Whether it was the stronger feeling of knowing that I had been to this place before, or the adrenaline I could now feel pumping through my body, I knew not. The stone path ended as I reached the area which the trees sheltered. My feet froze in the middle of the small meadow as I stared at the beauty of it... once again.
It was the same place. I had been here... twice... with Maan. It was the same place I had fallen in love with at first sight. It was the same place I had felt peace and contentment sitting in as I stared at the small pond in front of me. It was the same place where I had shared parts of my life with Maan. It was Maan's secret place. I turned around take a look once again. It was almost unbelievable that I was standing there. It was so beautiful. The grass was still green and fresh, the wild flowers around the pond still blooming and bringing bright colours to the place, the pond still as calm as before. It felt like the seven years had had no effect on this place. How was that possible? Unless somebody took care of this place...
It clicked then. The other day, Maan had come here, to his Dad's secret place. That was how he had discovered me in the coffee shop and it was his car which was parked in front of this meadow. So this was the reason why I had felt Maan was silent and lost the other day. He was missing his father... My heart suddenly softened at this thought. He was missing his father on that day, he was sad... I wished I had discovered this on that day and I wished I had been able to provide some consolation to him on that day. But then, I would be the last person he would want to show his emotions to. My face fell as I realised it.
The chirping of birds made me aware that it was time for me to leave and go back home before darkness fell. Coffee forgotten, I walked with quick steps back towards home as I mulled over it all. Why, oh why were things like this between Maan and me? Why was Maan such an enigma? And most importantly, why did I feel so bad at not being able to provide Maan some comfort? These were the questions only time could answer.
The next day, we were supposed to be free from ARK. The work had finished and we were going to hand it over to Maan on Monday. It was Friday today and Vyan was somewhat happy so he offered me to have coffee with him after work. He did not take no for an answer and so there we were, sitting in the coffee shop and discussing work related topics.
My phone rang to life with a number I did not recognise. Since Vyan was sitting close by, he saw the number too and gestured that he did not recognise it too.
"Hello?" I answered it anyway.
"Am I speaking to Miss Geet Handa from Innodea Interiors?" A woman spoke from the other end in a bubbly voice.
"Yes, this is she."
"Ms. Handa, this is Pinky from Khurana Constructions." I frowned, wondering what the reason behind this call could be. My eyes met with Vyan's, who was looking at me with eager interest as he bit into a cookie.
"Yes?" I questioned as I excused myself from Vyan and walked a little sideways.
"I am calling to inform you that Mr. Maan Khurana would like to set up a meeting with you. May I please know for when I should set an appointment?"
"Oh!" Now I knew. Maan probably had some more work for Innodea. "Any time tomorrow or Monday will do for me and my partner."
"I'm sorry, Ms. Handa, but Mr. Khurana would like to meet you alone."
"But Ms..." I forgot the name.
"Pinky." She offered.
"Right. Ms. Pinky, I do not work independently on any projects. My partner and I work together -"
"Ms. Handa," she interrupted. "You're getting it wrong. Mr. Khurana does not want to meet you in association with Innodea Interiors. He wishes to meet you alone, so I would like to know when you will be available."
"Any time tomorrow." I said, as I wondered why Maan would want to meet me alone, and that too, at Khurana Constructions. It seemed odd.
Pinky gave me the time for the next day and disconnected the call with a pleasant greeting. As I went back to sit with Vyan, I thought what could be the reason and what I should say to Vyan about it.
"Who was it?" He asked before I could properly sit.
"An old friend." I knew I was lying and I was sorry about it, but I did not want Vyan to think anything about Maan's wish of meeting me alone before I knew what exactly was the case. Thankfully, Vyan did not probe much either.
That night, I lay awake for a long time, trying to think of reasons for the unexpected meeting the next day. I could not come to any conclusion at all so I decided it would be best if I let the mystery be solved by Mr. High-and-Mighty Khurana himself.
I reached the address of Khurana Constructions on time. The building was an outstanding structure, mostly glass, and it truly represented one of the top-most construction firm's office. The insides were even more stunning, I marvelled as I walked through the long corridors where everything screamed of being classy. Whoever had done the interiors of this place had a great taste indeed.
"How may I help you, madam?" The chubby receptionist looked up from her desk when I stood in front of her.
"I have an appointment with Mr. Maan Khurana."
"Your name, ma'am?" She turned her eyes towards her computer's monitor and began tapping away on the keyboard as she asked my name.
"Geet Handa." With my name, her face lighted up with recognition.
"Oh, welcome, Ms. Handa. You may go meet Mr. Khurana right away. Walk down this hallway, and his room is the second on the right." I murmured my gratitude and set out to meet Maan.
As I reached the place, I read the nameplate on the glass door. "Maan Singh Khurana, Vice President". I did not think why I did it, but I lightly ran a hand over the bronze nameplate. Momentarily distracted, I felt pride bubbling in my chest. I knew how much Maan had wished to help his brother take the business to new heights and he had proved his mettle. Suddenly realising where I was, I snapped out of it and knocked lightly. There were blinds pulled all over the front wall which was completely glass, so it prevented me from knowing about this insides.
"Come in." His voice reached me and I hesitantly opened the door.
His office was large, I observed as I slowly entered and walked towards where he sat at his huge black desk with his head bent over some papers. There was a couch placed on the right wall with a small table in front of it. The left wall was covered with a giant cabinet which was full of files. The back wall had a low cabinet which ran across the full wall and sported a couple of awards along with a flat screen television.
Coming to a stop at a distance of a foot and a half from his table, I cleared my throat, which made him look up.
"Miss Handa." He acknowledged as he pointed towards the two seats opposite his desk. "Please take a seat."
I sat down with my curiosity beginning to peak again. The way he had addressed me had made it clear that whatever was the reason behind him calling me here was completely professional. He neatly stacked the papers in front of him and then picked his intercom, ordering someone named Adi to come to him.
Numbered seconds passed by when someone knocked the door, and after getting Maan's permission, entered the room. It was a bespectacled guy with a very serious expression on his face. He listened intently to Maan's instructions and then quickly went away with the papers, after which, Maan turned to me.
"So," he leaned back against his seat in a way which exuded calm decisiveness. "Welcome to Khurana Constructions, Ms. Handa." I nodded in response but did not speak. "I have been keeping a constant check on the progress of your work in ARK, and I must say that I am very satisfied with the outcome." I smiled at his praise but let him continue. "According to my reports, you're handing the offices over to us on Monday."
"Yes, Mr. Khurana." I reassured. "We're ready to hand them over to you on Monday."
"Good." He sat straighter and locked his fingers together lightly. "So Ms. Handa, the purpose of this meeting is not related to ARK or Innodea or any other work with your partner." I frowned a bit. "I have a proposition for you."
"What kind of proposition?"
"Ms. Handa, I am very impressed with your work at my ARK offices and I am offering you a job here in Khurana Constructions."
I stared at him and blinked. "Pardon me?"
"Ms. Handa, Khurana Constructions has a job offer for you as a senior design co-ordinator, keeping in view the impressive work you have done at ARK." He was calm and spoke very decidedly, which baffled me more.
"But Mr. Khurana, that work was a combined task of myself and my partner. I cannot take the whole credit for it."
"I know it was a combined project and that you have done nothing alone, but let me make it clear. I do have the ability to differentiate between your designing skills and your talents from that of your partner's."
"I think this is a mistake." I spoke in disbelief.
"This is not a mistake. Khurana Constructions is offering you a job."
I stayed silent for a while. "I don't understand. Why not Vyan? Why only me?"
"Because it's only you who fulfils my company's requirements." He was patient and I was agitated.
It was taking time to sink in and I took a few moments to think things through. Maan was offering me a job here. Of course, if I accepted, I would be promoted from being a designer to a design coordinator which certainly paid more, but why should I accept at all? I was not looking for a new job. I was perfectly happy with the present one. I had a decent pay and a nice partner. There was no reason to accept this job offer and turn away from the firm I had been working with since the beginning of my career.
Taking a deep breath, I looked at Maan. "Thank you for your kind offer, Mr. Khurana, but I would like to decline it. I am satisfied with my current job and do not need another one yet."
As opposed to what I had thought his reaction could be, I saw a small smile playing on his lips. It was as if my refusal was either expected, or unimportant.
"Do not make haste and turn down a golden opportunity, Ms. Handa." I opened my mouth to protest but he spoke before I could. "Here is your offer letter. Read it thoroughly and take your time to think things through."
I held the letter in my hand just as he spoke again.
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