46. Prologue
My eyes opened to a grey and cloudy morning. I stood in the balcony for a little while, wrapping my arms around myself. I thought about the new phase of my life which I would begin today. I was almost past the stage of feeling nervous jitters when going to a new place, but after being associated with Innodea for almost six years, it did leave a melancholic feeling to think I would no longer be going to the same familiar office building to work in the comfortable atmosphere that was a trademark to the firm. Khurana Constructions was a much bigger firm and it required its employees to follow a particular code of conduct.
I didn't know what to expect yet, but I was confident I would be fine, after all, I'd be working with Maan and, probably with Ranbir too. They were people I already knew and they would make it easier for me to work there, I was sure of it.
Thinking of Maan, I was reminded of Friday, when I had gone to his office. He had been in his utmost professional behaviour, just like he always used to be whenever we met on a professional context. But there was something different this time. He had seemed somewhat smug to me. Why, I had no idea. Perhaps it was because he had finally found a designer of his liking for his firm, or maybe there was some other reason. I recalled the day he had made the offer and I had refused outright. His reaction to my refusal had been cool, and all he had said before I left was that he'd wait for me. Was it because of this that he'd been victorious, that his wait was finally over? Had he been anticipating that I would take up his offer sooner or later?
For all the questions that ran through my mind, I had no answers, but I did think over his instruction of not calling him by his first name when we'd be in office. Although it had stunned me when he had said it but after deliberating over it, I deduced he was right. I was an employee and I had to give him the respect of being my boss. I wondered what I should call him. Mr. Khurana, like I always had earlier? That did not feel right. MK, like I had heard Jess call him? It felt odd to call him that. That left me with only one option.
"Maan sir." The name rolled off my tongue strangely. I sighed and shook my head. I might as well avoid calling him by any name as long as it would be possible.
Since it was my first day, I got ready earlier than I usually did. I thought it would be better to be before time than being late. First impressions do make a lasting impact, after all, even though I believe that they aren't the last impressions.
On reaching the magnificent glass structure of the building, I paused and just gazed at it. I was going to enter this building today as an employee, as a member of the team which made this company stand out, and if I hadn't interpreted wrongly, I was going to be an important member for this office. The thought gave me confidence enough to take a deep breath and stride forward.
I took the stairs. It was only the third floor I had to reach so taking a lift seemed kind of silly to me. Not to mention the fact that I tended to avoid lifts unless it was absolutely necessary.
Stepping out of the staircase, the professional stiffness of the atmosphere hit me almost tangibly. Men dressed in formal pants and shirts with ties, and women in their skirts, they were passing through the corridor looking as busy as could possibly be. All of them looked impeccable. I thought about it as I slowly made my way to the reception. I had never seen Ranbir during office hours so I did not know yet how he dressed for work but Maan was quite consistent about his appearance in the office. He was perfectly dressed, without a hair out of place. Perhaps the immaculately dressed employees were because of Maan.
Shaking my head slightly to get myself out of thoughts, I smiled a little as I stepped up to the reception desk where the chubby receptionist was starting up for the day.
"Oh, hi! I was just wondering about you." She smiled as soon as she saw me. "Welcome to Khurana Constructions, and good luck."
"Thank you!" I smiled warmly. "Is Mr. Khurana in yet?"
She shook her head. "Not yet, and he's expected to be late today." I nodded. "Come, I'll show you your workspace." She said without beating about the bush and got up to lead me down the corridor, pointing on the way, what place was what. "You've already been here. This is Maan Sir's office. The previous one was Ranbir Sir's." I sneaked a look inside Maan's office from the open door. It was spotless. "This is the administration department."
I looked around, observing little details.
"Actually," Pinky began again. "This is the administration floor. We have the offices of the president, the vice-president and their sercreteries on this floor. The fourth floor is the accounts department, fifth is the conference rooms, sixth is the architecture and design department, seventh is a penthouse for the private use of the Khuranas and eighth is the terrace."
I took the information in as Pinky stopped walking. I looked around. We had come in the farthest end of the floor where there was a plethora of cubicles with most of them occupied.
"So, don't you have any cafeteria or something in the building?" I asked.
"Oh, of course we do." She smiled. "It's on the floor below. The second floor."
"What's on the first floor?"
"It's the private parking for the heads. Nobody else is allowed to use that parking except for the heads or the special guests."
I nodded in understanding. "I see." There were two office cabins towards the left of the hall. I stood there looking around when pinky cleared her throat, claiming my attention.
"Here you are, ma'am." She pointed towards the empty cubicle right next to her. I stared at her without comprehension. "Your workspace."
"Uhh..." I looked at the small cubicle. "This?"
"Yes, ma'am."
It took me a couple of moments to let it sink in. Instead of an office cabin, I had been allotted a cubicle. This was obviously not what I had expected. I opened my mouth to say it but perhaps Pinky was not the person I could discuss this with. She greeted me a good day and left me to myself. I put my briefcase on the table and sat down warily on the revolving chair. Not many people had turned around to see who had come in. Some heads turned and went back to their own respective work. Even in the shocked condition that I was, I admired the discipline of this place.
"Hi!" I heard from my left and turned to see a young guy, probably in his mid-twenties looking at me from above the wooden wall of the cubicle. "You seem to be new here." He had a goofy smile on his face as he stated the obvious.
"Yes, it's my first day today." I replied politely.
"What are you? Assistant to what?" He inquired.
I chuckled. "Do I have to be an assistant to have my workspace here?"
"Of course! It's a rule. Well, not exactly a spelled out rule but just something you would understand." He shrugged. "We're all assistants here."
"Oh." I could only exclaim before he spoke again.
"So what are you?"
"Actually," I began, quickly thinking if I should lie about being the head instead of an assistant. "I'm the head designer of the interior design department."
His eyebrows raised. "Why did you sit here then? If you're a head, you're supposed to be in your private office, not in a cubicle with a bunch of assistants." I did not have an answer so I just shrugged. "Did they give this place to you?" I nodded. His eyebrows scrunched. "I don't understand why they'd give you a cubicle when all heads have their offices." His intercom rang and he hurriedly left after attending it.
His words rang in my ears. Why would Maan do this with me? The guy, whose name I had forgotten to ask, had clearly told what was supposed to happen, then why would I be given this 3 by 3 cubicle here among the assistants. Surely, he hadn't forgotten what post I had signed up for, had he? It felt strange and even humiliating in a way. This obviously wasn't what I had left a good job for. The thoughts running around in my head began to build uncertainty within me about what I had to do now.
I shook my head to clear it up of any thoughts. I groped for an excuse, any excuse Maan might have for all of what was happening. I could come up with none. Scrunching my eyes shut, I realised I had no option but to sit and wait for Maan to come to the office to get some answers from him.
What would I do while I waited, I wondered. I never personalised my workspace so even the little time it could have taken to set things up was saved. Since it was my first day, I wasn't assigned my duties yet. Maybe I could go through the files of the clients who had ordered interior design services from Khurana Constructions, like Maan had mentioned earlier. But I didn't know where to find those files and I didn't know anyone in the office except for Maan and Pinky. Maan wasn't there so maybe I could go and ask Pinky for help, I decided.
Getting up from the chair, I made my way towards the reception, making my gait as confident as I possibly could. On my way, I passed a fleeting look towards Maan's office. Still empty. Never mind, I thought as I reached the desk.
The sound of keys being pressed with much speed reached me before I came to a standstill in front of the desk. Pinky was typing away on the keyboard, her eyes on the computer screen.
"Pinky," I called out tentatively and she peeled her eyes away from the screen to look at me questioningly. "I was thinking if you could help me a little."
"Of course, ma'am." She smiled. "What can I do for you?"
I explained to her the files that I wanted and watched uncertainty cloud her face.
"Umm... All these files are strictly confidential and I have no access to them." She said regretfully. "I'm sorry ma'am, I won't be able to help you in this case until Maan sir orders me to."
I sighed. And an idea struck me. There was one more person in this office I was familiar with. I turned towards Pinky again, who had shifted her attention back towards the screen.
"Is Ranbir here yet?" Pinky's eyes flew to my face in surprise and I realised what must have caused that. "I mean, Ranbir sir." I corrected myself in a small voice. Nobody here needed to know that I was an old acquaintance of the Khuranas and that I was used to calling them by first names.
"Yes, he's in his office."
Thanking her, I turned and made my way towards his office. Pinky was right, the lights in the office were switched on, the blinds pulled over the glass walls and the door shut. I could hear Ranbir talking to someone. Knocking timidly, I waited until he allowed me in.
He was facing the door so as soon as I opened it, he saw me. Smiling in recognition, he motioned me to sit even as he continued on the call. He was dressed in a light brown three piece suit, his blazer hanging on the headrest of his chair, I noticed. I kept fidgeting with my fingers, unable to decide whether I should ask him about the cubicle I had been allotted or if I should just keep it between Maan and myself. It struck me then that Ranbir was the president of this firm, Maan was the vice-president, so that would give Ranbir more authority than his younger brother. Of course I could talk to him.
"Hey!" Ranbir said, distracting me from my internal debate and deductions. "It's your first day here, isn't it?" I nodded with a smile. "Welcome and good luck."
"Thank you!" I said sincerely.
"So how are you liking it here so far?" He put his phone on the table, leaned forward and crossed his hands lightly. I stopped the grimace that was about to appear on my face just in time and answered diplomatically.
"I haven't had enough time to really review as of yet."
He laughed. "Right. It's just been an hour into office time and I'm already asking for reviews." Shaking his head slightly, he continued. "My apologies."
I smiled. "That's alright."
"So what brings you to me? Isn't Maan here yet?"
I shook my head. "No. And Pinky said he'll be late, so I was wondering what I could do until I'm properly introduced to the work."
"I see." He nodded slowly. "You didn't get any instructions from Maan through Pinky or anyone else?" I shook my head. "And no files kept in your cabin?" That did it. The grimace surfaced at the salt he rubbed on my fresh wound. And he noticed it. "What?"
"Actually," I began carefully. "I don't have any cabin." His brows furrowed in confusion. "I've been given a cubicle among the assistants at the end of the corridor." At my explanation, he looked surprised.
"A cubicle?" His eyes lowered as a thoughtful look came across his face. "Did Maan allot it to you?"
I shrugged. "That's what Pinky said."
"Hmm. If it is his doing then I am pretty sure he must have a reason behind it. I'm afraid I can't help you in this matter before Maan comes to the office."
I suppressed a sigh. "That's alright. But could you at least give me a file or two to study while I wait? It's hard to sit idle."
He nodded in understanding. "I don't have the deeper details of everything related to the new wing because that's solely being handled by Maan but I do have a file here of the clients who have stated their desire for interior design by Khurana Constructions." He dug in the stack of files in the corner of his large desk. Taking out a large, hard file, he passed it to me. "Here you go. You'll find some details of the work we have done with this client so far in this file and since their project is still under construction, you don't have to start working on it right away. Just study it. It'll pass your time, if not anything else." He shrugged and I smiled, thanking him as I got up and made my way back to my tiny cubicle.
Without paying much attention to what was happening around me, I took my seat and put the file in front of me. Ranbir's apparent helplessness about my situation was quite a bewilderment. He was a post higher than my new boss so he ought to know about everything but from my conversation with him, it felt to me like Maan was the superior one between the two and had more authority than Ranbir. Shaking my head in disbelief, I came up with an excuse my mind could easily accept. Maybe Ranbir didn't know about everything because Khurana Constructions was a very big firm and had to be handled on many different levels as compared to the much smaller Innodea.
It took me a lot of time to begin understanding the contents of the file I was given, which was good because I had indefinite time on my hands for now. When I finally began decoding everything, I found little related to interior design. The file had a basic clients' requirement form, followed by minutes of meetings about the preferences regarding the construction of their building, and the rough scale drawings. I could hardly find one sentence in the file, in one of the minutes, where the client said they were thinking to hire Khurana Constructions for the interiors as well. I slammed the file shut in annoyance. The day was getting the better of me. I felt lost in this new big office and I missed my old office and the familiar faces, the warm smile of Vyan and the ever ready work. But I had no choice now. I had to wait and see how things would turn out.
Somebody cleared a throat nearby and I looked up to see the same guy who'd informed me of my humiliating start in Khurana Constructions.
"Everything alright?" He stared back and forth between the file and me, and I realised that my slamming must have been loud. Some more heads were turned in my direction so I quickly schooled my features from the deep scowl to a pleasant smile.
"Yes, everything's perfect." The guy smiled back.
"Do you want to go to the cafeteria for lunch?" He asked cordially.
I was surprised. "It's lunchtime already?" A glance at the watch gave me the answer. "Umm... sure!" I quickly stood up, picked my bag and the file and started walking along with him, who in turn was with a gang of five; three girls and two guys. While walking, he talked about himself and his time here. His name was Eric and he'd been working here for a year and half now. He also introduced me to the rest of them but claimed my attention again. On reaching the reception desk, I stopped to give Pinky the file. Eric paused too but I encouraged him to continue towards the cafeteria, promising to join him in a few minutes.
I returned the file to Pinky, who was biting into a burger, and told her I got it from Ranbir. I made sure to tag "sir" along this time. When I inquired about Maan, she told me he had still not come in.
I continued walking slowly as I pulled out my phone. There was one person I wanted to talk to at the moment. Maybe the annoyance I felt would lessen a little.
"Hello?" Anaya's voice greeted me. She was panting, as if she'd run to answer the call.
"What happened?"
"Nothing." She took a deep, stabilising breath. "I was in the kitchen so I had to rush to take the call." Just as I had thought. "How is your day going? Great, I would think."
That reminded me to rant. "Great is not even in the list of words I would use to describe my day." I spoke belligerently.
"What's wrong?" She questioned.
"You ask me what's wrong?! There's nothing right!" I spoke faster in annoyance, almost pouring it all out on her. "You convinced me to give up Innodea for this job. You and Raya!" I accused. "I hold you both personally responsible for this humiliation I feel." I didn't give her a chance to speak. "You said I'm Maan's acquaintance so he'd help make me feel comfortable, but guess what? It feels like I've been demoted, and it is all because of your dear Maan!" I had almost stopped walking right in front of the stairs I was supposed to take to reach the cafeteria. "Can you believe it he allotted me a small cubicle instead of a proper office cabin? And that too, among the assistants of the administration block. Do you know how mortifying it was for me to tell that guy I was actually a "head" instead of an assistant when I was made to sit among them? And that's not all. I've got no clue what to do since morning. I feel lost and I already regret quitting Innodea. And you know what, he's not even in office to give explanations of it all. But hey, he won't even consider explaining this to me because he's the boss and I'm supposed to call him Maan "sir" and not just Maan. I swear I'm going to burst a vein in the brain on the first day itself."
"Geet, Geet!" She interrupted. "Calm down, will you?" My forehead was still creased as I looked up at the artistic false ceiling and tried to concentrate on the details of it to get my mood in check. "You can't really judge it all and write it off in half a day. At least give it a couple of days." Her voice was accusatory.
She was saying something more but I wasn't paying attention because the reason for all my vexation was suddenly in front of me. My first reaction was to be fearful he might have overheard me but then my irritation at him won over the fear and I decided it would be good if he had. My teeth clenched as I saw him, my phone still held to the ear. He stood there, his expression amused as he stared at me, a hint of a smile on his lips and an eyebrow slightly raised. I was sure the irritation on my face was what he found amusing. My eyes did a quick once over of him. Hair gelled away from the forehead, white shirt and grey vest and pant ensemble fitted to perfection, and his shiny black shoes having just a light sheen of dust on them, like he had been outdoors earlier.
We stared each other down for a good two minutes before I realised Anaya was still on the phone.
"I'll talk to you later." I spoke abruptly and disconnected the call without giving her any chance to protest.
Even after I cut the call, I chose not to say anything to him but he broke the silence.
"In my office in two minutes." His voice, low but clear, was not a request. It was a command that was meant to be followed through.
He immediately turned and walked away, with long strides, towards his office while I still stood there, watching his back. I was sorely tempted to disobey him, but I needed a few answers of my own so I reckoned it was best if I went through with the confrontation which was sure to follow.
My feeble attempt to rein my chafe in while talking to Anaya had failed miserably as soon as I had seen him, and I made no effort to control it as I walked towards his office with determined steps.
The door was shut now but the blinds were still open so I could see him sitting on his chair. I knocked at the door, a little too loud for my own liking. As soon as he permitted, I entered and let the door shut behind me. He was still sitting but his attention was on me as I took the few stiff steps and came to stand behind the chairs across him. He signaled with his eyes to sit but I did not budge, my arms crossed and my chin raised just a little.
"I'm fine, thank you." I said icily.
If there was a hint of amusement in his eyes earlier, now it seemed that he was almost entertained by the situation. He stood up slowly and walked around the desk towards me, only stopping when he was he was merely a foot and half away. The proximity fazed me. It felt like he was invading my personal space as he stood tall in front of me, eyeing my face as I regained my composure.
"I hope your day is going by just fine, Ms. Handa." A sarcastic lopsided smile accompanied his words. I just narrowed my eyes a tiny bit, the discomfort completely disappearing. He had obviously overheard my conversation with Anaya.
"I need some explanations." I might have sounded rude even to myself if I was in any other mood but not now.
The smile reduced in size and his eyebrows shot up. "About what?"
My mouth opened a little in disbelief. After all that he had been putting me through, he had the nerve to play ignorant.
"About everything I've been subjected to since morning." I spoke through clenched teeth. "And don't pretend like you don't know anything because," I pointed a finger at him, "you're the one who put me through this."
His eyes shifted focus on my raised finger and then back to my face. "Are you going to question your boss?"
His voice was calm and composed, his eyes unreadable, but his words cut me through. It felt like a bucket full of ice-cold water had been thrown into my face. His words had that effect. It was a rude awakening. I stared at him, my hand dropping to my side. He had just made me realise the fact that we were merely employer and employee. And I, as an employee, did not have the right to question him. He wasn't answerable to me. He was the boss. As it sunk in, I began to feel belittled, powerless in front of him.
He was seeing the play of emotions on my face. Shock, realisation, helplessness. Then came the one emotion that gave me strength to gather myself. Humiliation. I felt humiliated yet again at his hands and that angered me. Angered me to the point of gathering myself. No, I thought, am not helpless, I am not powerless in front of him. I began to gather my grace. I'm not just any employee. I'm the head of a department and I deserve to know it all. I have a right to it.
With renewed sense of courage, I looked up at him, a lot more poised than I thought. I crossed my arms and stared in his eyes undeterred now. I could tell he was taken aback by the sudden change in my demeanor.
My voice was completely smooth as I spoke with no hint of the myriad of the emotions I had just gone through.
"I did not beg for this job. I was offered this job by you." I spoke, enunciating each word, fire blazing in my eyes, and in the heat of the moment, I took a step closer to him. My step took him by surprise as I saw his eyes widen minutely. We were almost nose to nose now, my eyes boring directly into his surprised chocolate brown ones, thanks to the high-heeled court shoes I had chosen to wear today. "Don't forget Mr. Khurana, you need me more than I need this job." He was surprised into stillness by my bold step but it did not waver my voice as I warned him. "Always keep that in mind."
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