Wired Hearts (6) Ch:46, Th:7 (Jan 7) - Page 16

Originally posted by: BDayGal-11Jan

Helllooo to be Mrs. usMAAN 😳 😆

Edited by KittuPratzz - 9 years ago

@Lakshmi: Yes, I'm wearing a lehenga and it's red. So nervous about everything...

@Sheen: Fingers crossed for it!

@Priti: I'll try not to take too long gaps but the in-between activity of this thread, I leave to you, O readers of my scripture. 😆

@Kittu: 🤗
I did tell you to consider it Maan, didn't I? 😆

Originally posted by: mayyo

@Priti: That's alright. And I totally understand what you mean, but isn't it true that the activity of a thread depends gravely on the writer and the frequency of the updates, which keep the readers coming in and dropping their thoughts? That's probably the reason why this thread is silent right now.

@Lakshmi: Ye toh sach kaha. I can't promise shaadi ke baad kab agla update hoga isliye I'm trying to give one before the long break.

@Avi: I'm still waiting for the baarish 😳

Mera pc mars pe chala gaya 😆

Once i get a few mins hogi baarish

Am scared ki unka kya haal karogi tum 😆

🤗

@kittu love u for the tiredness part 🤗

Originally posted by: dqno1

Mera pc mars pe chala gaya 😆

Once i get a few mins hogi baarish

Am scared ki unka kya haal karogi tum 😆

🤗

@kittu love u for the tiredness part 🤗

Unko zyaada tang nahin karungi 😆

Update tomorrow. Finishing it up right now 😃

Originally posted by: mayyo

Unko zyaada tang nahin karungi 😆

Update tomorrow. Finishing it up right now 😃

Haiye

Mera TJ

Thank u for this 🤗

Update dungi Aur Saath hi bhaag jaaungi. Don't want any jootiyan right now 😆

40. From Queasy Dreams To Crashing Realities

I opened my eyes to hazy surroundings and fuzzy voices. Instantly realising this was a dream, I was curious to know what it was about. With a little more focus, things started to clear up. It was a crowded place, perhaps an airport. I looked around to see people bustling about busily. It was nothing that would capture my attention but for one family which appeared much clearer in comparison with the rest which was all a blur.

A young girl embraced a woman, giving me an uninterrupted view of her face. I gasped as I realised why she looked so familiar. She had the face of my Mamma. The girl disentangled from the woman and was engulfed in a hug by the man who stood beside the woman. In my urge to find who the couple was, I took a few small steps, reducing the distance between the family and me.

"Take care of yourself and my Mom, Daddy!" The girl's voice reached me like a weak echo, as if coming from the end of a tunnel.

Were they Raya and Raunaq? As soon as the thought occurred, an immense joy filled me with another pleasant thought. Were they going to have a beautiful daughter in the future?

The girl turned around and started to walk away while I witnessed the man put an arm around the woman's shoulder, who, in turn, put hers around his waist and leaned against him as they both watched their daughter leave.

"I am going to miss my princess." The man sighed.

The voices were getting clearer now as I took another step towards them.

"Me too," said the woman.

"It seems like it was just yesterday when I held my tiny princess for the first time and now she's so grown up that she'd be away from us for years. Where did the time fly?"

I smiled at the man's fatherly words, anticipating what his wife would reply.

"She's just gone for studies, darling, and then she'll be back with us." I saw the woman rub her hand comfortingly across the man's back before her tone turned playful. "But she has grown up indeed. I'm just worried she doesn't find someone for herself while she is away."

When the man grunted gruffly, I realised what was happening. She was teasing him. I felt myself smiling at having witnessed one of the sweet moments of a family like this.

"Mom, Dad! Let's go!" A young boy's voice called them from behind me. I was about to turn around to see who it was when the woman suddenly turned, leaving me shocked.

"Coming, sweetheart!" She looked past me to her son.

I could not believe my eyes. It was not Raya. This was an older, chubbier woman, her face beginning to wrinkle, and her hair starting to grey at the roots, but the most startling thing was, that woman was... me. A version of me which I would look like years down the line...

My head started to spin. "It means that... this girl is my daughter... and I have a... son too..." There were thoughts swirling in my mind but one question overrode everything else. "Who is my husband?"

I focused my sight on the man who still stood with his back towards me, watching his daughter leave. Trying to figure out who he was, I noticed his physique. He was tall with broad shoulders and a body which seemed well-built. It was all I could make out in the dream which started to become hazy again. I concentrated harder on the man, not wanting the dream to end without letting me see the face of the man.

A name hammered in my head as I saw the man slowly turn around.

As soon as I saw his face, everything else blackened out. It was just me and him now as I stared at him with a mind which was numbed with shock.

He was my husband. He was the father of my children. It was him.

"Vyan..." was the only whisper which left my mouth before I shuddered awake.

I looked around my room in a state of frenzied anxiety. What kind of a dream was that? Was it just a dream or was it prophetic? Was it going to become reality? As the thought occurred, I rubbed my forehead and realised I was sweating. Wanting to get some fresh air, I walked to the window and pushed it open, taking gulps of the morning air, which was now beginning to become cooler since autumn had started.

I stared at a faraway point in the sky. It was way too early in the morning and there was quite some time before dawn. It was not the usual time that I woke up at unless I had a nightmare, which was the exact case this morning, except that the nightmare was new.

A shiver ran up my spine as I thought of the face I had seen as my husband. It was only a dream, I told myself. Why was it disturbing me so much? Was it not true that if a man like Vyan would be my husband, I would be a lucky woman? He was a wonderful human being, after all. So why did I shrink in contempt if his was the face? Was I wanting to see someone else?

I shrugged the thoughts away and decided to get myself some coffee. It did not last long, though. In a matter of fifteen minutes, my mind was free to wander back to the dream and dissect it so I immediately got down to doing the household chores I put off for weekend. It was Sunday and I did not have any plans as such so I had a whole day at hand. However, the cleaning and mopping lasted only until the birds started chirping outside. I was free again, and I wanted to escape everything. Quickly changing into a pair of jeans with a casual shirt, I stepped out of my house and walked to the place where I might find some internal peace.

There were not many people on the streets. The chill of the morning was just beginning to change into a warmer day as I walked and walked until I reached my destination. The area was deserted this early in the morning and it satisfied me as I quietly walked down the stone path, taking in a deep breath of fresh air as I stepped on the grass.

As I had expected, the meadow immediately filled me with a sense of comfort. I did not know why I felt such warmth in this place. Was it because this place was nature? I wondered to myself as I sat on the grass and stared out at the calm pond.

I felt so peaceful as I sat there, surrounded by nothing but nature, with my mind clear of all thoughts. It felt like all my worries, all pensive mood had suddenly been lifted off my head. With a surprising freshness, I watched as nature weaved its magic around me. I watched as an occasional leaf fell from a tree into the still pond, creating ripples across it. I watched as the pond regained it absolute stillness, calming itself after every disturbance the leaves created. I watched as the grass glinted with the sunshine, brightening the small space. I watched as the flowers swayed slightly with the breeze even as butterflies danced from one flower to another.

I closed my eyes and just basked in the feeling of being in peace, even if it was as temporary as my stay in this place was. It was a pleasure to be away from the world, away from its people and away from every thought which threatened to tear me apart. Gathering my knees to my chest, I rested my head against the tree I was sitting in front of. It was not a desire but a need to stay in the meadow for a while so I let my body relax with my eyes closed, deepening my breathing.

Some time must have passed when my head lolled to the side and I jerked awake, realising only then that I had fallen into a dreamless slumber. Stretching my body, I looked at my wrist only to find that I was not wearing my watch. I felt for my mobile phone in my pocket but realised I did not have it either. In frustration, I slapped my hand on my forehead, knowing that I had forgotten it in my distracted hurry to escape. My stomach grumbled and it suddenly dawned on me that I had not eaten anything since morning. What time could it be now? Raising my eyes to figure it out from the position of the sun, I was startled to see that the clear blue sky was replaced by dark grey clouds which were surely carrying some heavy rains in them. "I better get back home soon."

I made haste in getting up and dusting my clothes off but before I could get out from the meadow, I heard a distinct sound. Someone was coming this way. Instead of staying firm where I was, I partially hid myself behind the tree I had slept against with my eyes set on the opening from where the person would appear. It was just three counts in my head before the person appeared and in my relief, I got out of my hiding place coming into his clear sight when he was still at the beginning of the opening. He saw me and his steps froze in his place.

"What're you doing here?" It was the first thing which I blurted out of my mouth when I saw Maan standing there, dressed in a pair of jeans and a maroon shirt which had its top three buttons open. I realised just as quickly that it was an illogical question to ask him. Of course, he could be here at any time he wished.

"What are you doing here?" With a quirked eyebrow, he shot the question back at me in such a way which made me want to be petulant, and not give him a straight answer.

I crossed my arms across my chest and my chin jerked a bit higher on its own accord. "You don't own this place."

"Actually, I do." His smug reply resulted in my mouth dropping open.  "In fact, I should put up a board to prevent trespassers." I wondered if he was serious at all about owning the place but his face showed no signs that he was joking. Did he just call me a trespasser? I realised a bit later.

"You've changed a lot." I commented as casually as I could.

Maan's stance changed and his expressions altered. "You, of all the people, do not have the right to comment on that." It pinched me.

"Can you ever talk directly rather than indirectly hitting like that?" I almost barked to hide the hurt.

"Oh, darling, you know what?" He crossed his arms across his chest. Watching his face, I could guess he was going to say something which might be more pinching. "I'm afraid, if I talk direct with you, you might run away...again." His sneer hit right at my heart along with his razor-sharp words.

Shock filled me for some dragging seconds. I could not believe this was Maan who could make such a heartless comment. Taking a moment to take a deep breath, I decided I should immediately leave the place before I could say something which I might regret forever. Just as I passed him, his cold voice stopped me.

"You can never face the truth, can you?"

His words made me feel a wave of fury which I had never known before. I whirled around to see his back towards me. In a moment of rage, I grabbed his arm and turned him around by force. His face was as cold as his words had sounded.

"What do you want?" I screamed to his face. He did not even flinch by my loud voice. "Yes, I was a coward. Yes, I ran away. But no, I did not love you."

Something flickered in his emotionless eyes then. I watched as his face changed from being cold to heated up. His temper was beginning to rise, especially since I had directly hit the topic which we both had, one way or another, avoided discussing so openly. He took a step closer, towering over me but I did not back away. The evening was getting darker with the clouds angrily beginning to growl, probably ready to open up and burst upon us.

"So you admit that every single moment we spent together was  a lie?" His voice was low, his eyes burning and his words being pushed out of his gritted teeth. "You admit that you were playing a charade with me, that every laugh, every smile, every moment was fake?!"

"No!" I yelled to his face before controlling my voice and trying to reason. "Nothing was a lie. It was all truth, but it wasn't love. I had affections for you-"

"Affections, huh!" He mocked the word I had used, snorting loudly and turning his face away before looking back at me and continuing in the same tone of voice. "I am not the same dumb person I used to be all those years ago. You cannot fool me anymore."

It hurt me. He thought I had fooled him. He thought I had played with his feelings and then walked all over his heart like one walks on a doormat. I took a step back and contained myself before speaking in a controlled voice.

"Yes, you're right. You're not the same person anymore. You are just rude and mean now, a heartless person." I spat the words out at him but it had little to no effect on him. Instead, he had a mocking smile on his face.

"Guess who shredded my heart?" I looked into his eyes. They were furious and they were blaming me. A bolt of lighting flashed across the dark sky followed by a loud clap of thunder. It deterred neither of us.

"Tell me what exactly was my fault." I spoke in a low voice. "Am I not entitled to accept or reject whoever I want? Or is it a crime to refuse someone who loves me?"

Instead of responding, he just gazed into my eyes for a few seconds before turning his back to me.

"There's no point in trying to talk it out." The cold voice was back again. "You don't love me, I give a damn about you, matter closed."

I stared at his back for some long moments. It felt like I did not know this man. He was not Maan, and he did not seem to be Maan Singh Khurana either. Who was this third person speaking? Whoever it was, I had to talk to this man. I had to get the answers to my own questions and I knew only he had them. His nonchalance somehow enraged me and I could not stop myself from taking the two firm strides towards him and bunching his shirt by his shoulder before pulling him to face me again.

"No! The matter is not closed. I want to talk about this today, and right now." If I sounded bossy or angry, it did not matter anymore.

After slowly pulling my hand away from his shirt, he callously dropped it and I let it fall to my side. "I don't operate as per your wishes anymore." With another clap of thunder, the first drops of rain fell, slowly but surely wetting us both, but we were both too deep into the argument to bother about it.

"Excuse me? Anymore?" I made quotation marks in the air. "When did that ever happen before?"

"Listen-" Even as he spoke, he raised a hand dismissively.

"No!" I screamed, cutting him off. "You listen to me now. What you felt was not my wish, what you did was not my wish, what happened between us was NOT MY WISH!!" Angrily, I punctuated each sentence with a finger pointing towards him.

"Oh really? It wasn't? Right." He was surprised as well as angry at my outburst but he snorted at my words. "I was just a fool, trying to appease a stone, who never returned my sentiments. Nothing was your wish. It was all my fault."

I was beginning to lose my stamina of arguing any further. I did not want either of us to be bitter about anything so I spoke softly. "Maan, I don't mean to say that. I..."

"No, it was my fault." He raised a hand to silence me. As opposed to how angry he was some moments ago, he was fairly calm now, which did not seem like a good sign to me.

"No." I tried to speak as I took a small step towards him. He stepped back.

"Yes." His voice held something which I recognised to be the suppressed hurt, as he spoke. "It was my fault to be such a fool to wish to see you every single day for three years when you didn't ever give a second thought to my existence. It was my fault to take a step ahead and befriend you when you weren't interested. It was my fault to think all those moments I spent with you were special when they meant nothing to you. It was my fault to begin weaving dreams of a future around you, with you. It was my fault to love you, and it was my fault to confess it to you with hopes just before you took flight..." The pain on his face cut through me. It was wrong of him to blame himself. He shouldn't be blaming himself.

"Please... Please don't say that." I almost begged as I took another step towards him. He did not step away then, instead he raised his troubled eyes to look into mine, even as the heavy rain poured upon us.

"Why was I such a fool?" He whispered agonisingly as he searched my eyes. "Why?"

"It wasn't you." I whispered as my eyes lowered. I could not see him like this. It was my fault that he was in so much pain. It was my fault that he kept so much of hurt within him."It wasn't you. It was me." The first of my tears began to roll down my cheeks, though they were well hidden by the rain drenching us both.

"Yes!!" He yelled and my eyes flew up to his angry face in shock. His sudden change in demeanour scared me as I took an involuntary step away from him. "YOU were the reason I had my heart broken into pieces." He stepped towards me and I took another step back. "YOU were the reason I couldn't sleep that night because you were going away. YOU were the reason I raced up to the airport even when I was mad, just to see you one last time." He took another step towards me as I gasped at this new piece of information. "YOU were the reason I fell sick and lost all wish of recovery, all wish of wanting to talk, to eat or to sleep." I flinched away from his towering form, cringing at the words coming out of his mouth. "YOU were the reason I suffered so much."

He was panting by the time he finished, his angry eyes burning into my face. The silence stretched with the only sounds being the thunders of the clouds above and the furious splashes of the rains below.

"I'm sorry." Finally finding my voice, I spoke with the heaviest heart.

"For what?!" Maan barked. 

"For being a coward." My voice quavered as I tried to keep the dam of tears uptight. "For being afraid of wanting to see the life you were offering, for being afraid of wanting to begin dreaming about my life with you..." Looking up at him, I let him see my sincerity in whatever I spoke. "I was scared that I didn't return your feelings, I was scared that my parents wouldn't approve... I was scared that if I began loving you, I wouldn't be able to shoulder my responsibilities,  to live my dreams, I was afraid I would have to part with my parents..." My eyes fell to the ground again. I could not bear to see the changing expressions of his eyes. The anger was gone now but it was replaced by what I detested seeing on his face. Hurt.

I waited for his reaction as he took time to absorb my words, the confessions I never made to myself either. I did not know when he stepped closer to me.

"Why Geet?" He held me by my shoulders, which made me raise my eyes to him again. His voice was low, his face crushed. "Why did you feel you were alone? Why did you think I would want to tear you away from your family to be with me? Why did you think you won't be able to live your dreams and fulfil your responsibilities? Didn't you trust me enough? Didn't you trust me enough that I would be there beside you for every step? All I wanted was some trust. Couldn't you give that to me?" I was shaking my head as he spoke, his voice uneven with emotion.

It was never about mistrusting you, I wanted to tell him. It was always mistrust on myself. I was the one I could not trust not to lose focus of my goals, never you.

What my mouth could not speak, my eyes tried to convey to him. He was seeking answers in my eyes, the answers that could relieve the pain in his heart which his eyes reflected. As I gazed into his eyes, my heart wanted to soothe his pain, to do anything for him, anything that he would ask for.

Something shifted in his eyes. His face was so close to mine that I noticed the moment his eyes flickered towards my lips and back to my eyes again. I could guess what it meant, yet I stood still, transfixed by his eyes. The tiny movement of his head which brought his lips closer to mine made a shiver run down my spine. His eyes gave away the internal fight between his heart and mind as his gaze shifted from my eyes to my lips and back again. He dipped his head some more, and his breath fanned my face. I stood absolutely still. He was going to kiss me and I was not going to back away. My body did not allow me too, even though somewhere my mind whispered to break the moment.

Just as I closed my eyes, a loud clap of thunder pulled us both back into reality. My eyes opened to see a mixture of confusion and disbelief in his. The hand which was holding my face since God knows when, was pulled away in a jerk. He took a step back, ran a hand through his dripping hair, looked into my eyes with something akin to disgust and turned on his heels. Just like that, leaving me standing in the middle of the meadow in the dark evening under the pelting rain, he walked away.

Edited by mayyo - 9 years ago

IMPORTANT NOTEEdited by mayyo - 9 years ago

Trespassing













Our actions have an influence on another's life.  















Edited by dqno1 - 9 years ago

Originally posted by: mayyo

Update dungi Aur Saath hi bhaag jaaungi. Don't want any jootiyan right now 😆