Epistle 1: The Wilting Shadows
A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D I'm back once again! :D :D This time, however, this is a little different. This FF will be a series of connected diary entries, or an epistolary novel writing, with the POVs fluctuating alternatively. It is something entirely new that I'm trying so all kinds of criticism will be warmly welcomed.
Not keeping you all for long now,
Happy Reading! :D :D
4th February 1996:
I don't know how to start this.
I feel lost. Dazed. I don't understand what's happening to me.
A month ago, I was happy. We had our small house, a small shop and farm. I had my parents and my friends who loved me so much. Life was simple, yet perfect. But good things never last, and I learnt what it felt like to feel your base shudder the hard way.
Maa told me a day later that we were moving to the city. Baba needed to move to the city because he needed to earn more if he wanted to educate me well. She would be staying back and taking care of our house, while Baba and I made a living. I was scared; I did not believe her. She looked at me sympathetically, ruffling my hair as she pulled me into a tight embrace. I could feel her tears fall upon my cheek, mingling with my own cascading ones. Her arms shivered.
I broke apart and stared at her soulfully, wiping away the tears that seem to scorch my heart. I asked her if there was no other way that Baba could earn more money, or why she couldn't accompany us, but she shook her head and cupped my cheek.
All that she told me was that I had to be strong for my father. Be his pillar of strength when he needed me the most. She urged me to remain strong and keep that innocence in my heart forever; to educate myself and make them proud. I nodded my head at her furiously, knowing that my mother was entrusting me with a responsibility far more tedious than the shoulders of a tender nine-year old could bear, but I could see the trust in her eyes.
Her trust sparked a flame of purpose in my heart and she saw it. She smiled at me lovingly and kissed my cheek just as my friends called me outdoors for a game of cricket. It was hard to pretend that everything was normal when your friends didn't know that you were not going to be around soon. That you would only become a fading memory within the days to come.
I don't know how the next month flew by, or why it flew as fast as it did. Preparations were on in full swing with our relatives making frequent rounds, while Baba made several trips to the city in that duration to search for an ideal job. He returned back successful after twenty days, telling us that he was now appointed as the driver of a businessman.
Maa looked happy, but I didn't share the same emotion. I had always expected so much better for my father that it felt... less. Almost humiliating. My father had read my thoughts in that moment though for he hugged me, planting a loving kiss upon my forehead. The moment we separated, he looked at me sincerely, imparting a piece of wisdom.
"No job is less than the other, son. Remember that."
I nodded at my father solemnly, understanding what he was trying to put across. I smiled back at him and noticed how his tired features relaxed immediately just as my mother called us for dinner. Dinner was quite a happy affair that night, one of the last that the three of us were going to have as a family.
Ten days later saw farewells being made, goodbyes being told, and promises vowed. But all that stuck on to me were my mother's parting words. I can still remember the look in her eyes when she held my in her embrace and whispered into my ears:
"Son, whatever happens, remember one thing. When people show loyalty to you, you take care of those who are with you. It's how it goes with everything. Do you understand?"
I'd nodded my head in quick comprehension and she'd continued:
"Remember to stay loyal to the people you love, no matter what, alright? Value loyalty above everything else."
I'd nodded my head with more vigour this time as tears now left my eyes freely. My mother gave me a strong look as she wiped them away, kissing my goodbye. The train hooted in the distance and she gave me a smile, asking me to remain strong. She slipped something into my hand quickly, arousing a confusion that must have been evident upon my face when I looked at her in question. She gestured me to look at my hands instead.
A new diary now remained in my grip. Something my mother told me to steadily unburden myself into whenever I felt alone or weak. I looked at her tearfully as we boarded the train, my hand leaving my mother's own ones. The cruel world was welcoming me into its rough arms.
My father and I are now moving quickly towards the harsh realities of the city in the hope of finding a new life, and in the hope of returning home someday. I'm petrified, terrified, more frightened than I've ever felt when I did mischief and ran about the house evading my mother's scolding and slippers.
I look at my father and give him a teary smile, and he does the same. And I know that I must be strong for my father for he is counting on it. Both my parents are. I have a lot of expectations to stand up to, a lot of things to achieve from this point forth. But I'm afraid. I don't know how to survive like this when all I can do is breathe and try to easy all my fears away.
My heart is already heavy. And so I've taken refuge within you, hoping that my secret remains safe; that you will guard it safely.
Till the next time we meet.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D
Parineeti
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
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