A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
Happy Reading! :D :D
12th October, 2007:
And the eve of my departure is here.
Wow, it all feels so unreal. It's as though any minute I'm going to wake up and these three weeks are going to be a very weird dream. I try pinching myself at times to just snap out of it, but it's true. This is happening. This month has been like a roller-coaster ride out of control. I haven't realized how quick the days have passed by, really. It still feels like yesterday that I'd gotten that scholarship letter from the University of Sydney and today... it's my last day here.
But even this last day has been filled with surprises! Well, it's not a surprise really that it's my birthday, but in spite of the subdued moods of everyone I love in the house, Mota Babuji still brought me a cake to cut. Honestly, he's done so, so, so much for us that I don't know how I'll ever repay him. No one does this for their own family as much as he has done for me. He is truly the mentor anyone can hope to have in their lives.
He is my God.
Maa, Baba, Mota Babuji, Falguni Maa and Ishaani celebrated my birthday in solitude since the house was empty thankfully. Everybody else had to go out somewhere or the other. They ordered Chinese for us, knowing that I really liked it and that we rarely ever got to eat the food of the rich. And boy was it delicious! Mota Babuji and Falguni Maa gifted me a watch from one of the former's own collection that happened to be his father's. A simple brown leather strap watch with a mother-of-pearl dial. Ishaani told me that Mota Babuji had gifted its twin watch to her.
Maa and Baba gifted me a new pen since they couldn't think of anything else to gift me. Baba joked and told me to start practicing my signature with it since it would turn into an autograph soon but no one took it as a joke and turned it into a full-fledged discussion. It was awkward and flabbergasting, but I won't deny that it did boost my shaky morale a little more. Ishaani already gave me the biggest gift she could give me, but she tells me that she still has another gift to give me for this birthday - one last night under the stars.
This reminds me, even I have a gift to give her tonight.
But this wasn't the only surprise that I got today. I'd just gone to the store room today to have some time of my own since it's my last day in the house. Oh, I'm going to miss everything so much! I'm going to miss everyone so much! I may have had my fair share of complaints, but this house has given me everything - the good, the bad, and the best.
Even as I was finishing my last bit of packing, all I could think about was how much I was going to be taking with me to Sydney - memories, love, hopes, concerns, blessings and if I may be bold to say so, even abuses too. We servants cannot end our day without some, and certainly cannot start a new journey without some more. Makes it all much more believable and auspicious for us.
And the store room just had so many memories of my eleven years in this house, especially with Ishaani! This was the place I first hid when Baa had whipped me for the first time. Ishaani had brought me a bowl of ice-cream that I'd so stupidly put on my wounds. And even she did, then! This was the same place where I'd cry whenever things went wrong. The same place where I'd keep giving Ishaani all sorts of re-assurances whenever she was sad or upset and came to hide there. Wow, this room was our room of secrets. The room that knew all of our cries of pain, all of our bouts of tearful happiness.
And the room lived up to its title.
I was just rummaging through some of the long-forgotten items of the room when I came across my old video-cam. I'd lost it after that day of Holi that we didn't remember anything about and I'd searched the whole house for it! So, me being curious like always, I just opened the cam to see what all was saved in it. I came across Ishaani's seventeenth birthday video that reminded me of just how special that day was for both of us, really. And then, you won't believe what I found.
There was a whole recording of that Holi day too! And honestly, I don't know whether to laugh to cry or die of embarrassment or just store it as the only substantial proof that that day really happened since I still cannot remember any of it. And I didn't know that we'd all gotten so mad after having all that bhaang! Ishaani hollering away at those men calling us names, Sharman running into the house a maniac saying how the phone was ringing, Devarsh running to the roof to throw water balloons upon people and Gauri, Disha and Prateik running around the pool in circles! Man, we'd all gone mad! Mad!
And what the heck happened in the evening?! Why ere everyone kissing me and hugging me and singing praises of me? Were everyone that wasted on bhaang? And Ishaani and Disha fighting over me... Wow, I've never seen Ishaani like this before, and neither Disha. No wonder Falguni Maa grounded Ishaani! What was she thinking, going to cuss like that at Baa?! Oh yeah right, she wasn't thinking. She was just plain brawny. But I would be a hypocrite to say that the love and the passion with which she defended me was something that didn't make me love her and respect her a little more.
And oh my God! What happened with all of us falling asleep so... awkwardly? God, this is really, really embarrassing. The things that have happened! And Ishaani and I... Our conversation... Argh, thank God I didn't remember any of this or else I'd have died of shame! Well, I'm still ashamed of myself! What the hell was wrong with me?! Had I not deviated at that last moment... God, this is really, really embarrassing! I don't know how the hell did the tape land up in the storeroom but I'm sure that someone has watched this. Maybe Sharman or even Devarsh.
I'd have wondered why they didn't beat me up for what happened that night but seeing what those two did, I think they realized that their plights were bigger than a forehead kiss and a confession that was barely audible. I won't say what they did because that was really wild and stupid, but let's just say that if they are asked whether they've ever kissed a guy, neither of them can say no.
Atleast I knew what happened at the temple and why Baa had turned sugar-sweet with me for three months. Her pallu had caught fire and I got the smell that snapped me out of my sleep and I stomped it out at the right time, especially since Baa always wear silk ones. Well, Baa was grateful atleast for that although she asked me to speak to no one of the incident, and made me take an oath in front of God. Our masters are our God so I had to oblige. Besides, some things are best kept secret.
I can't believe that I'm saying this, but Ishaani's right. Bhaang's really much more trouble than it's worth. Although I still want to see how mental Ishaani can get when she's drunk and I'm sober enough to handle her. But for now, this would do. And so like it was bound to happen, the cam-recorder made its way into my suitcase too. Wow, I'm definitely going to exceed my luggage. I wanted to take my diaries along but Maa and Baba told me that I was being stupid.
They told me that they'd take it with them to Surat and keep it with them because I was just not ready to let go of them, and well, there's that. I hope that they stick to their promise though. I'm just going to take along with me the manuscript of Another Night at the Cafe and the 100-page notebook draft of Ishaani Parekh: An Enigma Unveiled. Not letting those two go.
I don't have a lot of possessions like that, but just a wooden box with some of the souvenirs that Ishaani had given me - gifts from all my birthdays and some souvenirs from here and there, and ofcourse the kite that Mota Babuji gave me - the green and purple one. It's a pretty big box though, so I told Maa and Baba to put the diaries in the box and take that whole box along with them. I just hope they don't throw it! Maa got so tired of me in the end that she actually told me to focus upon what I was going to do in Sydney than think about the boxes!
Well, she's right. But I just don't know what to focus about. This just feels like the time I was going to leave for Mumbai, albeit this time, more scarier. Atleast the last time I had Baba with me! This time, I'm going to be all alone. And I'm only admitting this to you because you've been so faithful to me from all these years, so okay. Here goes.
I'm scared the crap out of my mind right now. Oh, I made a stand about my dreams and wanting to achieve them but I think I'll faint with fright. I've already got cold feet six times, and I still feel like running as far away as I can. I don't want to go and do this all by myself. I don't want to be all alone and isolated and cut-out. Maa and Baba tell me that this is life; Mota Babuji and Falguni Maa tells me that this is experience; Ishaani tells me that this is what I get for being a Prefect Perfect. Idiot. Can she never give any proper advice?
I cannot tell her how this is killing me like nothing else. I cannot tell her how I don't want to leave her alone at all, not only just because of her but because even I cannot do this without her! I'm too afraid to let her know how afraid and apprehensive I am of doing this myself, but now that she's sacrificed so much just for me, I cannot step back. I have to do this and I have no option but to succeed at what it is that I've set out to conquer. But I've never been more afraid and uncertain of myself in my whole life.
I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.
Ranveer shut his diary and sighed. This was going to be his last entry in Mumbai for now.
-x-
Ranveer sat on a terrace, a small smile upon his face. They'd set up the mattress and the pillows for the night just like Ishaani had asked him to till before she joined him. The stars and moon glowed weakly, as though afraid to show emotion when the world was going to get dark with separation. The sky was inkier than usual and was accompanied by the clouds tonight. Even the skies looked in remorse of the farewell that was to happen the next day. Why wouldn't they, when all their lives they'd been under the protection of them and nature had been witness to every single major event of their life?
"Hi there!"
"Hey... What's that in your hand?" asked Ranveer, who tore his gaze away from the sky and stared at Ishaani curiously. She sat down beside him comfortably and handed him out a bottle.
"I brought you a bottle of beer. Since you're 'legally' an adult today. So there, happy birthday!" she exclaimed as Ranveer stared at her in awe. He accepted the bottle from her hesitantly, but not before shooting another question at her.
"Whoa! Where did you get it from?"
"The fridge. Don't worry, I took permission from Papa for it," added Ishaani quickly when Ranveer looked at her suspiciously. He relaxed considerably and stared at the bottle with a small smile upon his face. Memories.
"How'd you-" began Ranveer, but Ishaani knew what he was going to ask.
"I knew you'd be needing some," she replied and Ranveer shook his head, amused. He put the bottle upon his lips and took a swig from it. He tasted the richer alcohol and grimaced.
"This is flat in comparison to the country liquor," remarked Ranveer, looking surprised. Wasn't the better quality of alcohol supposed to taste better and stronger? Ishaani rolled her eyes at him and slapped his back in mock annoyance.
"Yeah, I don't need you drunk so that you can sleep through tomorrow. I just wanted to give you a pick-me-up," replied Ishaani sharply and Ranveer chuckled at her stupidly. Well, there wasn't much alcohol content to get him drunk in one bottle, especially after being an experienced consumer of country liquor for three years now.
"Didn't you bring yourself one?" asked Ranveer, hoping at one last shot to annoy Ishaani. He wasn't going to be able to do this for a long, long time now. He had to make this night count.
"Was that supposed to be a joke? Because it isn't," shot back Ishaani in what was meant to be anger, but the dangerous twitch of her lips in spite of herself gave her away. Ranveer cocked his eyebrow at her suggestively.
"Well, you never know. You may start liking it too, you know."
"No way," asserted Ishaani confidently. Ranveer winked at her.
"Who knows? Maybe one day years from now, we'll be sitting upon the terrace on my birthday and be star-gazing and drinking at the same time," he fantasized, and Ishaani laughed at him immoderately.
"Yeah right, not going to happen," she replied between breaths and Ranveer shook his head at her.
"Never say never," he said and Ishaani suddenly sobered down, staring at the intensity of his gaze as though struck dumb. She bit her lip quietly as his eyes suddenly teared up. She cupped his cheek, her eyes now breaking into his own in a captivating wave of life.
"I'm going to miss this. Everything," she emphasized, and all Ranveer could do was give her was a sad smile.
"Why did we ever have to grow up, Ishaani? We were happier as kids," he replied, looking at the sky as a tear betrayed its way upon his cheek out of the corner of his eye. Ishaani wiped it away before staring at the glum-looking moon, reminiscing.
"Yeah... Stargazing, tantrum throwing..." she whispered back, her voice trailing away as the eleven years of their lives ran in front of them like a swift video, images and incidents flashing in front of their eyes that left behind only a sweet smile upon their faces. What wouldn't they give to re-live all of it again?
"Remember the time when you were eleven and that dog bit you? How much of a ruckus you'd made!" exclaimed Ranveer as he turned to look at her, his lips stretched in the broadest of smiles now. Yet his eyes had no twinkle; only a sadness and yearning that reflected in Ishaani's own ones.
"That hurt, okay?" whined Ishaani as she turned to look at him in indignation. Small talks to keep their minds away from the harsh truth that was threatening to break them down any minute. They had to keep going. They had to escape into the past.
"And yet you gave another dog shelter after it," remarked Ranveer and Ishaani smiled at the thought of how much trouble the beagle that had brought upon the two of them, especially Ranveer.
"That beagle was cute," she remarked and both of them fell silent.
But this time, more memories managed to flit into their minds, pushing the truth of the hour away, even though temporarily. Now that the dam of memories had been opened, it was impossible to contain them. After some time, Ishaani spoke again.
"Hey, do you remember how you'd rescued me from that grilled lift when I'd got stuck in it when I was fifteen?" Ranveer looked at her and smiled.
The incident had taken place when she was leaving one of her classmate's building and the lift had shut down mid-way. Ishaani had gone ballistic by the time the liftmen had managed to bring the lift on the ground and had co-incidentally been the same time that Ranveer had reached over there to pick her up. She'd thrown herself into his arms and refused to stop crying.
"How can I forget? You just didn't stop crying and you stopped using those lifts since then," continued Ranveer and Ishaani gave him a half-frightened look at the thought of it.
"It was claustrophobic and it kept ascending and then descending... Man, that was scary!" she added, now looking positively alarmed and uneasy. Ranveer rolled his eyes at her and chuckled.
"Why does everything of this sort have to happen with you?" Ishaani cocked her eyebrow at him and shot back at him acidly.
"Well, I can ask you the same thing, you know."
Ranveer didn't need to think for another second to know that she was referring to his hospital visits. He flushed dully before he remembered another incident in relation to it.
"This reminds me of how you'd beaten up those boys in school once because they were making fun of my limp," he said suddenly, and now it was Ishaani's turn to flush red. Not out of embarrassment, but anger.
This incident had taken place when Ranveer was still recovering from his accident at the factory and had a limp accompanying him in the 10th Std. A couple of rich boys had laughed at him and said something rude to him when he and Ishaani were together, and the latter had rained hell upon them.
"I'd have broken their teeth too had you not stopped me," she replied instantly and Ranveer gave her a loving smile in spite of himself.
This passion of hers to love and protect the people she loved was what made him respect and adore her a little more. His heart just found reason in everything to love her, but this particular trait was something that always made him feel proud of the girl he'd fallen head over heels in love with.
"Sunny!" he snorted and tried to pass it off as a sneeze but failed spectacularly. Ishaani punched his arm.
"Hey! Not fair! I was defending you, you know!" she exclaimed in protest and Ranveer couldn't help but smile at her in amusement at the thought of how frightened those boys had been at her reaction. Ishaani Parekh was not a girl to be messed with at any point of time in life.
"Seriously, I still remember how those boys came an apologized to me! Said that a spirit had possessed you!" narrated Ranveer while Ishaani now had a satisfied look on her face. Well, she'd thought them a lesson and given those good-for-nothing boys something to remember her by.
"Yes, I remember my class teacher writing 'ungirl-like conduct' for me in my report card," complained Ishaani, looking sullen.
"It's true, you know," added Ranveer and Ishaani scowled at him.
"Yeah, yeah, if any movie's heroine would have done that, people would have gone all 'Wow, that's sexy!' Just because I did it so I'm Sunny Deol!" exclaimed Ishaani, now looking outraged. Ranveer looked at her in surprise.
"Hey, when did I say that!?"
"Weren't you laughing at me that day when we'd gone for that drive and my hair had gotten all entangled?" she reminded him and he gave her a sheepish smile.
"It looked like a bird's nest! How was that my fault?" he whined back and she stuck her tongue out at him.
"Had they showed it in the movies, the actress' hair would have been all nice and smooth. Just because I did it, it got all messed up," she replied, looking half-annoyed at her own luck now.
Ranveer decided to rile her up a little more. That was his right as her best and only friend. And then again, these were things he could only enjoy with Ishaani because she was the only person who the wall was let down for. Nobody else could cross that boundary to his heart, ever.
"Um, would you mind specifying what kind of movie are you talking about?" he asked playfully and Ishaani looked confused.
"What?" asked Ishaani and Ranveer cleared his throat in mock innocence even though his eyes screamed out otherwise.
"I mean, we watch two different types of movies, and in the ones I watch, this is often the case in the end, if you know what I mean," he added, looking at Ishaani curiously.
She looked blank for a minute before it struck her. She gave him a smack upon his forehead, along with the dirtiest look she could give him in displeasure.
"God, you are so sick! You dare watch any of it over there or else I'd send you a punch in the courier!" she threatened and he laughed at her shamelessly. Well, she treated him like a punching bag anyway.
"Yeah, yeah, Sunny! Your arms are enough- Ah, sorry!" he yelled out when she twisted his ears.
She shook her head and let go of him before deciding that it was time to turn the tables on him. When would she get the chance to do that now? Him going to Sydney now, and in a year and a half's time, she'd be leaving for the US. Where was fate taking them anyway?
"And what are you laughing so much about? I've never seen a guy more woman-like than you!" exclaimed Ishaani and Ranveer choked upon his laughter. He looked at her, his mouth wide-open.
"What?!"
"It's true! You know how to do all the house work, you know how to do chores and even shop and bargain like those typical ladies, you know how to cook, and you even know how to wear a saree!" she replied, now looking as though she'd scaled the Mt. Everest by listing his own opposite-gender skill set. Well, she thought she was being reasonable since she didn't include gossiping in the list. Ranveer now looked dumb-struck before he protested.
"Hey! I thought that was a saving grace for your farewell party! Forgot the way you tripped and made a whole mess out of it?" he asked, now looking at her in mock reproach. Well, they both remembered that incident.
She'd tripped over her saree and had fallen headfirst on the ground. Well, this is what happened when you were wearing heels for the first time. Ranveer had happened to pass by at the same time and had burst out into the most inappropriate laughter before he helped her out in re-doing the pleats of her saree that had all come off. She thought he was bluffing when he told her that he could help her out with it, but to her evident surprise, he actually could!
"Ah, okay, okay. You did tie my saree well," she agreed grudgingly and Ranveer smirked. But she didn't stop there. "A normal idea of it is okay. But you know all kinds of sarees! How is that possible?" she asked, her tone now torn halfway between inquisitive and amused. How many such things were there that he hadn't asked each other yet in spite of knowing each other inside-out?
"I don't know that many, I just-" began Ranveer, but Ishaani completed the sentence for him.
"Know the normal pallu, Gujrati pallu, Bengali pallu, the chaniya choli one, and the Marathi style one. Where did you take the classes from?" she asked as an afterthought and Ranveer blushed.
"Maa has made me an all-rounder. She used to sew pallus and all back at the village so she learnt the different ways to wear them too. And she taught them to me too just as a hobby since I'd help her tie the pallus," he replied and Ishaani shook her head in mock disdain.
"Mr. Prefect Perfect has to know everything."
Ranveer clicked his tongue at her in disdain when he remembered what she'd made him do with the saree during one of the times he was drunk and they were on the terrace. He didn't recollect the incident clearly but he remembered enough to know the gist of it.
"And it's not even that you didn't take advantage of that. Who was laughing her head off by making me dance on Dola Re with that Bengali pallu and the huge red bindi and that dia in my hand?" he questioned irritably and Ishaani laughed immoderately at the memory of the scene.
She was angry that he'd gotten drunk again in spite of him promising that he wouldn't. So she'd decided to have her revenge upon him. Taking one of the pallus from the terrace, she dared him to tie a Bengali pallu, thinking that he was just bluffing about it. He wasn't. And then, she'd just run to her room and brought her make-up kit and made done a little work upon him until he looked the part. Then she'd just played the song on her mini-cassette player and the rest was history. Ishaani believed that he'd have given the leads a run for their money in terms of dance and nazaakat.
"I didn't know that you could actually wear one! I thought you were bluffing! But that dance was outstanding!" remarked Ishaani who didn't know whether to laugh at him shamelessly just to annoy him more or to genuinely praise him because he'd made her laugh so much that day and it wasn't even half that bad.
"You took advantage of me when I was drunk! Had I been in my senses, I'd have never done that!" retorted Ranveer whose mind suddenly ran to the Holi video. He had half a mind to tell her about it but decided to let it go. It was best that she didn't remember anything about it.
"Yeah, I'm not going to apologize for it," she commented and he slapped his hand upon his forehead.
"You've made me do the most bizarre things ever!" he exclaimed and Ishaani waved her hand in the air that brought his flow of speech to an abrupt halt.
"What I find bizarre is that you can tie all the weird kinds of sarees, then how is it that you haven't learnt to tie your shoelace then?" she asked, now looking at him in expectancy. Ranveer gave her a flustered look. The one thing he simply couldn't master.
"I've gotten better," he replied evasively and Ishaani gave him a sardonic look.
"Huh. As if. Who's going to tie your laces when you go there?" asked Ishaani, as though challenging him to give her a better answer.
"I... Well... I'll learn how to do it," stuttered Ranveer in response and Ishaani laughed.
"Yeah, what you didn't learn in eleven years you expect to do now!" she remarked and Ranveer gave her an annoyed look.
"Hey, I can tie the naadhas of my pyjamas!" he stated with pride and Ishaani shot back swiftly.
"I have to help you untie them all the time!" she shot back, remembering the countless number of times that she'd had to help him out with it. And yet there was nothing awkward about it. The only thing they felt was annoyed and vexed, she at him and he at the incessant cause of the trouble as she gave him instructions.
"Argh, you are impossible!" cried out Ranveer in exasperation, while Ishaani rolled her eyes at him.
"Keep a maid in Sydney to help you with it," commented Ishaani and this time Ranveer gave her a playful smack on her head before asking her quickly.
"Why don't you teach me to?"
"I can teach you all I want but you just won't learn!" she replied and he growled in frustration.
"You are so troublesome!" Ishaani smiled at him before she fell silent, and with it, him.
Both of them remained silent for some time, the harsh truth now making quicker rounds around them, threatening to engulf them into the horde of reality any minute. After some time, Ishaani took his hand in her own and spoke to it.
"I've troubled you a lot now, haven't I?" Ranveer looked at the tear that fell upon his hand and he sighed slowly.
"Not really, but it felt good to know that I could read your heart so well," he replied and stared at Ishaani in a sudden despondence that made him want to cry. But he couldn't. Crying was not an option now. When Ishaani remained silent, he pulled her face up so that their eyes could meet. Ranveer cupped her cheek and gave her the strongest look he could muster.
"Ishaani, there's still time. Don't put yourself through something as humongous as this if you don't feel ready," he begged of her, knowing what she was about to do was not something she was emotionally equipped to do. She smiled at him sadly.
"Ranveer, in life there's many things that you aren't ready for. And I think this will be good for us. We've become so dependent upon each other that it's dangerous. Maybe the distance will help in making us independent. As they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder."
He knew that she didn't want to do this as much as he didn't, but he also knew that she had made up her mind. And once she had made up her mind, nobody could change her decision. She was the most stubborn girl anyone would ever come across. Sighing, he brought out the package that he'd been hiding away from her so far and handed it over to her.
"I've got you something."
"It's your birthday and yet I'm the one getting a present?" asked Ishaani as she saw the gift-wrapping over it. Ranveer simply shrugged his shoulders at her in response and she smiled.
"What is it?"
"Open it and see!" he replied, now sounding a little excited once again. She gave him an intrigued look as she tore away the wrapping and opened the box.
"Wind chimes!" she exclaimed, her eyes suddenly lighting up at the sight of them.
They were clear crystal-stone studded ones with blue, pink and yellow at the bottom along with a red top that let the crystal string fall gracefully. Ishaani gasped as she pulled them out of the box, the wind instantly singing a soft melody when passing through it. Ranveer smiled and spoke in a soft tone.
"Every time the wind blows through them, it'll remind you that I'm always there with you, no matter what. My essence will always be alive in you. You're not alone. These wind chimes will sing through all of our good times and bad times together and will also remind you that I will come back to you, no matter what. I'll find my way back home."
"Why are you like this, Ranveer?" asked Ishaani when she'd finally found her voice back. "This is crushing you just as much as it is crushing me and yet even at a time like this, you're worried about my sanity more than your own," she added and he gasped. So she knew! Damn it, since when did she get so good at this?
"You are my Universe, Ishaani. I have to protect my Universe. You're my only strand of sanity in this insane world," he whispered soulfully and she let go of some more tears.
"Why're you crying?" he asked her as he wiped away the tears from her eyes.
"When a person has given you happiness all your life, his memories can only bring tears in your eyes," she replied and it made me breath hitch in Ranveer's chest.
He didn't realize until all this time how entwined their lives had been with each other's than an existence without each other felt so... impossible. Somewhere along the line, even though practicality reigned true, they hoped that they'd never have to leave each other. That they were hitched to each other for life. And now that the time had come where their paths separated, it became unbearable to think of the close future without having each other to share all the moments of their life with.
"Do you think it's wrong to care for each other so much?" asked Ranveer finally when his chain of thoughts dispersed away into oblivion. Ishaani looked at him and shook her head before she decided that it was time to make a complete confession.
"I don't know... You know, during the time of your factory accident, once you were operated and transferred to the ICCU, they wouldn't let us see you at all. Hospital procedure. You were fighting for your life all alone in that room where the machines were the only thing forcing you to remain alive. From what little we saw through the window on the door... Oh, you were not the only one suffering in those moments, Ranveer."
Ranveer listened to her in silence and she continued.
"And then, I think it was around midnight when the doctor came and asked us who he was the closest to. Well, since only Kaka, Maa and I had stayed back and Papa had taken your mother home because she wasn't coping well, both Kaka and Maa took my name. I was surprised because up until that moment, I didn't really realize how close we'd gotten to each other. But I guess that was it."
"Why did the doctor ask that?"
"The doctor said that you were dying. You'd lost the will to live and they needed to use familiar auditory sensory treatment as a last resort because you were sinking. They weren't happy with my whole barging into the OT thing, but they still let me sit beside you. So I sat with you for the whole night talking to you, and just... watching you fight all alone. Watching you bleed as you rasped and heaved and died and suffocated and suffered more and more with every passing second. But I had to keep you alive. It was a new kind of pain I knew that day, Ranveer."
Ranveer gasped, no words available to his access.
"And somewhere through all that, I fell asleep. And then there was the nightmare... There was so much blood! Oh, the moment I woke up, I ran away from the room like the coward I was, and never returned back until Maa forced me to. I couldn't see you go through the pain like you were, that too all by yourself knowing that I could not help you, but had to be a silent spectator to your excruciating agony!" said Ishaani, who's voice had gone a pitch higher by now. Ranveer gulped guiltily, a lot of things now falling into place as he rubbed circles upon the distressed girl's back.
"I thought you didn't want to let me go because you weren't ready to let me go," muttered Ranveer, more to himself than to her but Ishaani heard him anyway.
"The reason I'm afraid to let you go is not just for my sake," she admitted and Ranveer was taken by surprise. "It's perhaps because I'd lost you once already and I saw that life seep out of you as you kept fighting against it hopelessly. I preferred letting you go rather than watch you fight so brutally with life, especially since prolonging the fight only meant more suffering. I was a coward-"
"Don't say that!" cut in Ranveer but Ishaani continued like she hadn't heard him.
"-And even right now I know that this is killing you too somewhere along the line. I just don't want you to fight again all alone. I want to be with you through it all. I don't trust you enough to let you fight all on your own because you are a self-sacrificing fool!" she proclaimed out loud, hoping that the universe would agree to her. It silently did.
Ranveer looked at her in surprise, suddenly seeing a glimpse of Love in her... Well, his dreams did afterall show him not just his innermost feelings, but hers as well.
"Wow..." was what Ranveer intended to say in his mind but he ended up whispering it aloud. Ishaani cupped his cheek and looked at him seriously.
"This time, you have to fight tooth and nail against the world Ranveer. A world who'll only keep trying to tear you apart over and over again and keep trying to smother you with its harsh reality. But you'll have to fight it all and emerge victorious. I hope that you considered all the odds and know what you're going to be put through. And you have to do it all alone. Tell me, will you be able to do it?" asked Ranveer, and suddenly his priorities were set straight. Everything seemed to fall back into place as Ishaani did the job of what Love usually did. Be his voice of reason.
"I'm not going to rest until I don't," said Ranveer finally, meeting her gaze with even more passion. "If I could get myself back on my feet and revolve my life entirely post one incident, I'm sure I can do it again."
"Good, because this is what I wanted to hear," said Ishaani, giving Ranveer a strong look. Both of them stared at the stars in silence as they now lay down, wondering what the heavens had in store for them. After an infinitesimal amount of time, Ranveer turned to look at Ishaani and spoke softly.
"When do you think we'll be able to do this again? Stargaze together?" he asked, and Ishaani sighed sleepily.
"Hopefully after two years. Maybe sooner, who knows?" she replied and Ranveer smiled.
Ishaani yawned softly and sighed, before snuggling closer to Ranveer and throwing her arms around his torso. This was the last time she'd be seeking this kind of peace in his arms underneath the stars. This was the last time they would be gazing at the stars as their innocent selves because what lay ahead, they both didn't know. All that they had was the solace of today and the memories of the past to lead them through the night. Ranveer pulled her into a tighter embrace and sighed, letting his head fall upon hers as he left a kiss upon her crown.
Her tears were soaked by his shirt; his tears were soaked by her hair.
Time passed as the night threw a blanket of sleep upon the two troubled souls, the stars and moon dimming their glow in fear of waking them up. This was the last night where they were going to be together as one. From the onset of tomorrow, both of them were to be shrouded with the cruel battles of the world that the two fragile hearts would have to combat with every bit of energy they had. They had to give their due to the world. They had to begin their journey towards the grandeur-filled destiny that was written for both of them in star-studded words. They had to create a mark for themselves in this meaningless world.
But for now, they were going to need all the sleep because it was going to be the last time they were sleeping with the comfort of knowing that they had each other. This was the last time they were going to be sleeping as two whole and undamaged people whose hearts and souls were still so pure. This was the last time they were going to be sleeping away into the basking glow of those glorious, fantasy-filled dreams. This was the last time they would be sleeping with their sanity intact until life slapped them ruthlessly with reality.
This was the last time they were going to have a good sleep in for a long, long time to come.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Epistle 80
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
Cricket
Jhanak
Hindi TV Shows
Ye Hai Mohabbatein
