Epistle 58: The Incomplete Legacy
A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
Happy Reading! :D :D
25th June, 2005:
A legacy is always a legacy as long as the passion remains, even though it might be incomplete.
This is what Papa taught us today. Honestly, it crushed Ranveer and myself to see him like that. He'd been working all his life upon it, but he couldn't manage to achieve that one last milestone that he wanted to achieve before his retirement. Oh God, Ranveer and I tried to pacify him so much but it obviously didn't work. It's easy to pacify, but it's only the person who's going through it who knows what he's feeling. This was a really, really dull day.
Ranveer and I went to Papa's room today, as usual bickering over something (today we were arguing about me getting Ranveer wet in the rains), when he abruptly stopped speaking. I went on and on like an idiot until he caught me by my shoulder and apologized, putting an end to my monologue. Knowing Ranveer, he's never the one to apologize even though he might admit his mistake. And since he practically had no mistake here, I knew it was odd and out of place.
It was only when I looked at his face and saw the worry upon it did I realize that he was just apologizing to end the conversation. I looked at him tensely as he pointed towards Papa who was sitting by the chair, staring at his hands idly. Ranveer silently went and sat upon his knees in front of Papa, looking at him in concern. Papa looked up at him.
"The diamond consignment to London... we lost the deal..." he whispered tiredly, hiding his face into his hands.
"What do you mean, Mota Babuji?" asked Ranveer softly, while I edged closer towards them.
"There was a delay at the customs... and it reached too late. We lost our chance, Ranveer. We lost our chance at the monopoly. It's not going to happen again for a very, very long time," he replied woefully, the frustration evident in his voice at the loss.
Ranveer had let me know that Papa had an extremely important consignment due to London to the Royal family that would determine whether he had a chance at achieving monopoly in the London markets or no.
Ranveer had let me know that a company by the name of DeBeers had broken and split off and had lost their monopoly in a rapidly spiralling market. And since Papa's company did have a reasonably strong foothold, there was a chance that if his company beat DeBeers at the consignment delivery and inspection that he would very well manage to have a monopoly in the London markets in terms of trading diamonds. And once that happened, it would open a major route of trading with clients across several more countries.
I didn't know half the details, but Ranveer said that it was Papa's biggest dream.
And I swear, I felt my heart break when I saw him hunched like that. He was always so strong... So positive. Alwats hopeful and optimistic that everything happened for the best. But when I saw him like that today... I don't know, something sprung into life within me. A strange fire... a strange passion to set everything right; to make all my father's worries my own as long as he would remain happy and smiling.
"Mota Babuji... don't be so negative. Who knows, you might get another shot at it," spoke Ranveer quietly after some time, a smiliar kind of fire in his eyes as well. Papa looked up at him and gave him a sad smile.
"No Ranveer... these things are not that simple," he explained softly, knowing that Ranveer was just trying to boost his morale. It was not like either of them didn't understand the scenario - Ranveer was just trying to assure and give hope to a child who had given up on something that everything was going to be fine.
"You have always achieved and done the impossible. I'm sure that if you've missed your chance at this, it's got to be for something better," he ploughed on, and Papa patted his head lovingly. Inching closer to him as Papa eyed Ranveer keenly, he spoke in a grave tone.
"Ranveer, learn from my experiences. I don't know whether I'm ever going to get a chance like this ever again, but know that should you ever embark upon this path, you are going to learn from my experiences and mistakes, alright?"
Ranveer looked taken aback for a few minutes before he gulped nervously, his eyes darting all around the room except upon Papa.
"Mota Babuji, don't say things like that... you'll get another chance, I promise," he said, trying to assure Papa as he took his hands between his own and caught them in a reassuring grip.
"I'm being realistic, Ranveer. And you must be too," replied Papa in a deep tone while eyeing Ranveer with a newfound interest.
"Mota Babuji, I promise that if you never get a chance, I'll fulfill this legacy for you. Right, Ishaani?" asked Ranveer, looking at me frantically as though wanting my support on this. I went and sat beside Ranveer, looking at Papa worriedly.
"Papa, Ranveer is right. Don't be so negative... you'll definitely get another chance," I tried to assure him, but honestly, it sounded so lame. Papa looked up at me and stroked my cheek lovingly.
"Life never gives you a second chance, Ishaani. A new opportunity, yes, but never a second chance," he preached sagely and I feel a momentary chill pass through my spine upon his words. Recovering from it quickly, I looked at him with a sudden gush of confidence.
"Papa, you trust me, right? I promise that I will fulfill this legacy of yours should you not get a chance to do so. And I'll do it with Ranveer," I spoke swiftly while Papa and Ranveer both look at me dumbfounded for five whole minutes.
I don't know why I said what I said, but that's what I wanted to do. I never wanted to see my Papa sad. Finally recovering from the shock of my statement, Papa gave me a loving look, his eyes brimmed with tears for the first time since the conversation began.
"Ishaani, come here. You are really my best darling, now, aren't you?"
I nodded my head childishly as he pulled me up for a hug and I let his embrace calm down my sudden gush of emotions, a strange serenity falling upon my turbulent mind. It didn't make matters easier, but it was soothing. Wait, wasn't I supposed to be the one comforting him? When did the tables turn?
"Mota Babuji, is there anything we can do to make you feel better?" asked Ranveer quietly as we separated from the embrace and Papa cupped Ranveer's cheeks affectionately now.
"Ranveer, don't worry. I just need to let the fact sink in. Once it does, I'll get over it and become alright. Life isn't going to stop for us now, is it? We just need to pick up the pieces and move on," he replied quietly, his face much less disturbed than what it was fifteen minutes ago.
Both of us hugged Papa before leaving the room silently, lost in our own thoughts. We didn't realize that we'd reached Ranveer's room before Kaka's voice cut through. He'd brought samosas for the two of us while he'd made hot tea, the two things that Ranveer and I absolutely adored about the monsoons. He had couldn't join us since he had to take Baa somewhere, so it was just myself and Ranveer in the room.
For the first time in ages, the two of us must have had a silent snack party in a long time. Neither of us were in the mood to laugh and crack jokes or even try to pacify the other because the one person who we both loved the most was sad and hurting. Oh, we could never see that. The man who taught us to be so strong and independent having his own moment of weakness. It felt so wrong! So... unreal. But then again, like Ranveer always says, even the strongest of people have their moments of weakness. It's was helps them push away the weakness and embrace strength.
We chugged down on the samosas and like always, our moods did nothing to hamper our appetites. I think that food is important to gain sense and perspective - a full stomach is definitely better to rack your brains with rather than an empty stomach that only leaves you bitter and wallowing in self-pity. And now that we were considerably full-stomached, the two of us had the strength to face our thoughts with more ferocity and determination. That was, until we couldn't keep quiet any longer.
"Do you think that we'll even be a percent as good as Papa ever is?" I asked Ranveer as he looked at me curiously. I could see some unknown line of thought fade away from his eyes the moment he was snapped back to reality.
"Ofcourse not... Say what we will, we are never going to be as good as him," he replied practically while I now fidgetted with the band upon my finger.
"It was so easy to assure him that we'd complete and fulfill his legacy... Now that I think about it, Papa must have had a good laugh in his head when I must have said that," I confessed, feeling completely flabbergasted at the memory of it.
"Why do you say that?" asked Ranveer suddenly, looking perplexed.
"Do I ever show any signs of being good in 'business', really?" I countered irritably, feeling even more embarrassed by the passing minutes. I'd said something like that in front of two geniuses. Anybody was bound to get this awkward once they realized what they'd spoken. Clearly I wasn't in my senses.
"Tastes change, Ishaani. And so do circumstances," replied Ranveer and I give him a faint smile.
"You're a natural, Ranveer. You have the flair that Papa has. I have no such flair at all. I can't even bargain with shopkeepers!" I exclaimed ruefully, snarling at my hands to feel better. Ranveer gave me a sympathetic look before I continued ranting. "And I cannot even say that I could probably get Papa's talent in genes because-"
Before I could complete however, Ranveer cut me through, knowing what I was about to say.
"Anybody who sees you and Mota Babuji and doesn't know you will believe on sight that you are his daughter by blood," he stated, his voice slightly annoyed at my reference. He hated it when people called me illegitimate, including myself.
"But Ranveer-" I began once again, trying to make a point but he raised his hand up as a cue for me to remain silent.
"Look, you've never given it a try, so you think like that," he stated, and I gave him an exasperated look. He couldn't bear defeat, not until he'd gotten his point of view across. He continued.
"And honestly, when you told Mota Babuji about completing his legacy, I did not even have the slightest doubt in my mind that if the situation so arose, you won't be up for it. You don't know the surprises life throws at you Ishaani. We always get to learn something new about ourselves as we go on. And somehow, imagining you as a businesswoman like Mota Babuji is funny because you've always been the bubbly girl, but I wouldn't be surprised if you do really manage to nail it."
I stared at him dumbly for some time before speaking in a small voice.
"What I was giving Papa was a child's assurance."
"But what I saw in your eyes said something else," he countered and I gasped in spite of myself. He gave me a triumphant smile and all I could do in defense was roll my eyes at him. Damn it, how does he do it every time?
"You'd have a better shot at fulfilling his legacy any day rather than me," I told him finally once our little hide-and-seek drew to an end.
"It's always going to be his legacy. We're just extensions to fulfill them," he admitted to me, before both of us fell silent.
It was raining, so gazing at the stars was not going to be possible tonight. Instead, we had to contend ourselves with the cool winds that the rains brought along with them, along with the scent of fresh mud that made the experience of witnessing a rainfall much more exhilarating. Both of us sighed as we could see the leaves dancing merrily upon the trees as it bathed in droplets from heaven. What could be more beautiful than that, really?
"You really trust me a lot now, don't you?" I asked him finally after some time, the rain lashing rebelliously against nature's thriving sentinels.
"What kind of question is that, really?" came back Ranveer's reply and I knew that the rains had left him dazed. He hated getting wet in them, but he loved admiring them nonetheless.
"You know, you surprise me, really. You always keep saying that I'm too trusting and naive and God knows what else, but don't you think for someone who keeps preaching about trust, you trust me too much?" I wondered, turning myself to face him. He turned himself accordingly, now giving me a winning smile.
"Look, I've never said not to trust anyone, okay? There's no relationship where there isn't trust," he explained simply, shrugging his shoulders. I cocked my eyebrow at him in question.
"Okay, now you're just contradicting yourself," I complained and he gave me a disgruntled look. Yeah, I know how to drive him mad at times.
Clearing his throat, he took in a deep breath before explaining sensibly.
"Look, when I said that you are too trusting, I never said that you shouldn't trust anyone. I was just trying to make you aware. Trust is something that comes from your heart, not your mind. Your mind can only warn you, but it's your heart ultimately that makes the choice whether to trust a person or not."
"But I always listen to my mind..." I began, looking uncertain now. He looked at me somberly.
"That's why you always trust the wrong person," he replied and my mouth falls open. "Because you think through it too much. You think that if you let your heart take over, you'd definitely make a wrong choice. Your brain is incomplete with your heart, and so is its judgment. Unless and until your heart doesn't have a say in it, your brain's judgment has no value as well. That's why you end up trusting the wrong people always, Ishaani, not because you use your heart, but because you always try using your head," he ended, slightly breathless.
Now that he had completed his monologue, I shut my mouth a couple of times before re-opening it to speak once again.
"But I can't help thinking-" I protested, but Ranveer cut me off impatiently.
"Ishaani, when I tell you things about manipulation, or having good judgment or even seeing through a person's facade, I'm not criticizing you or asking you to change yourself. I'm just trying to make you aware that outside the bubble of naivety and innocence around you, the world is an unfair and ugly place. You need to be prepared for the worst. But that does not mean that you think everything through with your head. You need to think through your heart as well when it comes to trusting people. The heart knows what the mind doesn't," he explained to me lovingly, while I found his words washing upon me like some sort of tranquil wave.
"But Maa always says the opposite," I sighed half-heartedly, all the lectures and different perspectives getting too much for me to digest.
"The world usually works the opposite way, but since when were the two of us ever normal?" he joked and I chuckle in spite of myself.
Okay, I did get the point he was trying to make. I was clearly not a head person. It was heart for me. But the real pity was that I was afraid to use my heart and that's why I've never done so till date.
"But what if the heart is wrong? I mean, even Maa made that mistake. She chose her heart over her mind and paid such a heavy price for it," I tried to put forth my point pragmatically.
He pondered over my point for a minute before he smiled triumphantly in response.
"Mota Babuji chose his heart over his mind and I see him doing perfectly fine," he remarked and I keow that he's made a concrete point. I gave him an approving nod as he relaxed, looking out at the rains once again.
"What if there's a tussle between my heart and mind?" I questioned him, now feeling vexed with myself for pestering him and thinking so much.
"Listen to both, and if you find both at par, go with your gut instinct. It'll never guide you wrong, as Mota Babuji always says," he replied without taking his eyes away from the window. I looked at his easy features, a coy smile suddenly making its way upon my face.
I don't know what it was that I was coy about, really.
"Is that why we share such an amazing bond? Because we trust each other from our hearts?" I wondered, and it was as though someone had zapped him out from this meditative trance. He looked at me with the most disarming smile before taking my hand in his own and patting it.
"I guess so, yeah," he replied, and I eyed him curiously now.
"Ranveer, how do you recognize whether what someone is doing for you is genuine or not?" I asked him nosily. He gave me a simple reply, even though I could sense his exasperation but the number of questions I asked.
"You don't... It's again for you to judge and trust. You can't roam about like a CID inspector always and be suspicious of anyone and everyone. That's called paranoia. Trust is a leap of faith - take it and see where it leads you to," he casually added in, while I gave him an uncertain look.
"Sometimes, I wish I wasn't like this... I wish I could be more trusting and make more friends," I confessed, suddenly feeling nervous.
"The more cautious you are, the more you tend to err at times," he replied wisely and I nodded my head at him in agreement. Annoying right as he was, he did make sense most of the times.
"It's not like you have many friends too, you know," I remarked jovially and an ironic look crossed upon his face now.
"I wouldn't mind making friends, but nobody wants to be friends with a servant," he remarked and I hissed angrily at the mention of the taboo word. He gave me an involuntary smile before continuing. "I have friends back in the village, but time makes bonds fade away. Besides, friendship is not something you can force upon people, it's just a click that happens."
"So what, you're saying that you're friends with me because you have no option?" I askd him playfully, and he slapped his hand upon his forehead.
"No, I'm saying that I'm friends with you because there's something between us that clicks and creates that bond between us. That's trust," he replied smartly, while all I could do is gaze at him, awestruck. He snapped his fingers at me before adding hesitantly.
"And you have the option to trust, Ishaani. You are just too afraid to trust."
I gulped unconsciously as he gave me a sad smile, rubbing circles upon the back of my hand now. I turned to face the window once again before confessing contemptuously.
"You know, as a kid, Maa never told me about my real father. When I'd ask her about him, she'd always tell me such brilliant stories about him, about how he was away from us because it was for our betterment, because he was a brave, brave man... oh, I thought of him like some kind of a hero, a God... until one day, I found out that he abandoned us even before I was born because he was a coward... a materialistic coward who ran away from his responsibilities. I haven't been able to trust anyone that easily since that day forth, Ranveer. The truth about my real father hurt me and broke me in a lot of ways... until I found you and Papa."
Ranveer turned to face the window as well as the rains now subside into a gentle drizzle, its spell now nearing its end just like our conversation. I sighed and continue.
"That's why I want to see the two of you to be at our happiest and merriest, Ranveer. I did not do anything to deserve the love and respect you both give me and yet you accepted me into your life with open arms, willing to make all my sorrows into your own and your happiness into mine."
"This is what I saw in your eyes, Ishaani," he told me, the victory of the point he was trying to prove originally evident in his voice. Damn it, he was really good at this. "The will to make him proud of you, no matter what it took to do so," he added confidently and I spoil his hair in a playful ruffle.
He kept doing and saying such cute things that I couldn't help it.
It was my gesture of saying that he was being cute, since I'm too... bearish to tell him that on his face. It'd only boost that inflated head of his that Papa and Kaka have been constantly filling with air. He gave me a graciously look before I stared at the now silent night and spoke sincerely.
"I am a child at prayer Ranveer, but if ever God saw me capable of doing the impossible, I will fulfill that legacy of Papa's. And that's a promise."
Ranveer looked at me warmly, caressing my hair as I rested my head upon his shoulder. The two of us retreated into a calm silence once again, our minds drowning into the several thoughts that kept running through them. Every single day was a memory with Ranveer, something new to learn from Ranveer. For an eighteen year old, his wisdom outdid the justification of his age. And yet there wasn't a single time when he was wrong.
He knew what he was talking about.
And I know that if he ever gets the chance of proving his love and loyalty for Papa, he'll definitely try his hand at fulfilling Papa's legacy of being a monopoly in the London diamond markets. Oh yes, the two of us may have assured Papa with a child-like innocence that we'd do the impossible, but I think that we both knew what we were talking about as we felt that same passion flare into our hearts that Papa had spoken about. And as I stared outside the window of Ranveer's room, I was only certain about one thing, irrespective of how it happened.
The monopoly of the London diamond markets was definitely going to be a completed legacy of the Parekh Empire someday.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Epistle 59
Edited by LadyMeringue - 8 years ago
Pati Patni Aur Panga
