A/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
Happy Reading! :D :D
Ranveer sat upon the terrace wall with a glass of liquor in his hand as he stared down at nothing. What had he left in his life anymore? His mentor, the one man who truly loved him and cared for him was no more and the world was a cold, empty place without him. His mentor had been his God - the one man he believed in even more so than God himself. Who would he keep his faith in now? Who would be able to move those mountains for him?
His departure had only left behind an Ishaani who'd gone cold. As though she was too numb to feel pain or any emotion anymore. He remembered the moment that was still as fresh in his mind as thought it had just happened, even though it had been three days for his mentor to be cremated. Ishaani had stood up and had begged of him to speak something about what happened to her father when he'd left the room, stunned.
Surely Harshad Parekh couldn't die... he was an immortal, right?
Ishaani had let her head fall upon Ranveer's chest and had howled and banged her fists against his chest in fury, asking him to contradict what they both knew was the truth. And suddenly, the weight of the world was upon his shoulders as her head fell upon his chest tiredly and she sobbed, the pain in her shrieks tearing his soul apart until his knees buckled and both of them fell upon the ground in a heap. Nobody bothered to pacify them because the world deserved to mourn the loss of an extraordinary man.
It didn't matter that they weren't on the best of terms anymore or that he'd just confessed his love for her and she'd rejected it very obviously. Nothing mattered when she needed him at a moment like this. And not just she, even he needed her beside him for the sake of his own sanity. But there was no solace. Only pain and more pain that even alcohol refused to drown out tonight. His senses were as sharp as ever even though he did feel reckless. Especially after what happened with Chirag and the fire that burnt his heart whole.
The lightest sound somewhere behind him made him turn around and he saw Ishaani walking towards him, her features now looking turbulent. Ranveer hiccoughed slowly as he scrutinized her expression carefully, suddenly realizing that there was an approaching storm in her calm. The dam of her emotions was about to break any minute; they'd already begun imploding within her from what the windows of her eyes betrayed out to him.
He saw her playing with the pendant on her neck absentmindedly when he noticed that her ring finger didn't carry her engagement ring anymore. He slid off the terrace wall with a grace that surprised him, considering how he'd already consumed three glasses of the honey-coloured liquid.
"Ishaani, your ring-"
"I broke off my engagement with Chirag," she stated in a blank voice, and the glass fell out from Ranveer's grip.
"What?"
"He was talking about all sorts of things and we got into an argument and I called it off," she continued in the same blank voice as Ranveer walked right up to where she stood.
She looked like a woman possessed with dark circles around her eyes and with the unkempt state of her hair. It was as though somebody had killed a part of her with Harshad Parekh's death.
"I don't understand," whispered back Ranveer, wondering what was about to hit him.
Wasn't it just three days ago when she was singing praises and praises about Chirag and proclaiming how much she loved him? What had happened so suddenly? Was it that finally thing were turning into his favour? Could it be that destiny did, afterall, want them to be together after their little setback?
"Technically, he was the one who wanted to call it off but I beat him to it," replied Ishaani in the same stoic voice, and suddenly it made Ranveer feel a little afraid.
She didn't look alright to him. It was as though someone had robbed her out of her essence and had turned her into a blank state - unfeeling and unthinking. He always knew what an incident like this could do to her, but now that it had actually taken place, he realized that it had affected her much, much worse than he could have ever imagined.
"What happened?" he asked, suddenly a foreboding entering into his heart as the clouds rumbled in the distance somewhere.
This was the second time in three years that this was happening. What was it that made his heart squirm in fear? What was it that was yet to happen? Surely nothing worse could befall them now... could it? Things were falling back into place and were getting calmer.
But was it the calm before the storm?
"He wanted to talk about what he overheard the other day in your room," she replied back to him, her eyes not blinking even once. Things were beginning to crack within her and the shield of numbness was beginning to fade. It would be soon now. He could sense her state of beginning to collapse.
"Oh," was all Ranveer could say stickily.
And the foreboding in his heart grew more and more intense. Maybe it was just the alcohol working on his nerves. But alcohol was supposed to make you free... Then why did his heart feel so suffocated?
"And he said that you are a jealous maniac who couldn't see my happiness so it was best that we got married as soon as we could because sooner or later you would make our life miserable," she recalled painfully and now it made his heart squelch even more badly, but this time, in guilt.
He may have hated Chirag, but this was... true? He would never, ever make her life miserable. He'd walk away if Chirag made her happy. But her getting married to him? He was a jealous maniac, yes!
"Wow..." he whispered, more to himself than to her. What kind of messed up business was this?
"He also said that you accused him of being a gold-digger and a back-stabbing opportunist," she added and he could hear the hatred in her voice. Oh, the solace it gave him to hear that hatred in her voice for Chirag! But something was coming back into her eyes now. Was it emotions?
"What did you say?"
"I told him that he was the one behaving like a jealous maniac and you were not like that. I don't love you, but that doesn't mean that you would make my life miserable," she stated and God, it stung him!
It was like she'd stabbed him in the heart again. Oh, all those hints and those flicker of emotions... were they nothing, then? He'd almost come to believe that she loved him too, especially after the lengths she went to. It still hurt, knowing that he was wrong, much more that she'd fallen for someone else and was in love with him.
"I don't-" began Ranveer but Ishaani cut across his speech.
"You were right, Ranveer," she confessed in a small voice as her lips quivered and she now felt her facade collapse. "I shouldn't have trusted him so quickly. And he had the temerity to call you a servant and accuse you of things that were astronomical!" she suddenly shrieked out into the open night as she fell into his arms, finally letting the salty droplets of pain leave her eyes as she held on to his shirt in agony.
"Like what?" he asked softly, knowing that it was best that she let it all out of her heart.
She hadn't cried again after she'd cried at the hospital three days ago, and everyone were beginning to worry about her. He didn't know what had happened between her and Chirag, but he knew that in spite of whatever she said, it was hurting her a lot. And there was something that was disturbing her and was the root cause of this breakdown. He wondered what had Chirag told her really.
"He said you accused him of infidelity," she whispered in reply, and Ranveer gasped, as though shocked. So Chirag did tell her about their conversation from this morning, after all.
Ranveer shut his eyes as he remembered how he'd seen someone (who he could vouch for 80% looked like Chirag) kissing a girl near the park. He'd been livid with rage and would have confronted them and then, but by the time he could, they'd both left. So he'd confronted Chirag about it first thing in the morning, but it had been unfruitful since Chirag had given him all the proofs stating his innocence and he hadn't even put up a fight with Ranveer.
Just the same cold look.
Ranveer was afraid that he might have crossed some boundaries in his rage. Or in his hangover. He'd gotten drunk the previous night after seeing what he had. He wanted to clarify it with Chirag before he told anything to Ishaani, and right now, he wasn't sure about what was going to happen next.
"It's true. I did see him kissing another girl yesterday. They were too far, but I'm sure it was him," spoke Ranveer, slowly and Ishaani clutched at his shirt harder.
"Oh God... No..." was all Ranveer heard through her muffled cries.
Ishaani felt her heart break a little more suddenly, as though all the pain of the world had fallen upon her shoulders. So this was what a heartbreak felt like. Couldn't anyone love her for who she was?
"It's a good thing you called it off, Ishaani. And what he's talking about was a little conversation we had this morning. I went to confront him about what I saw yesterday," confessed Ranveer, and Ishaani cried harder into his chest.
"I'm sorry, Ranveer..." she wept in regret as her chest felt constricted.
How could she have put her friend through so much when all he wanted to do was protect her? He was not like that Chirag who'd cheated upon her. Her Ranveer could never do that to her.
"Sorry? Sorry for what?" he whispered to her, stroking her hair gently.
She refused to take her arms from around him and he liked the weight of her head on his chest. It made his own pain lessen, along with his inhibitions. She'd taken it better than he'd expected it to. She'd chosen to trust him over Chirag. All wasn't lost, perhaps. Everything was just like before.
"I... I thought you were being mean to Chirag because you didn't like him because you had feelings for me! I'm sorry I didn't trust you, Ranveer..." she admitted to him shamefacedly, not even having the strength to meet eyes with him.
Guilt and regret only kept pushing her over the edge more and more. She didn't want to feel like this. She didn't want to hurt like this. She wanted Ranveer to make her whole again after the unbearable agony of her father's loss that'd left a gaping void in her heart.
"Ishaani... shh. It's alright, okay? I don't want your apology. I just want your pain to go away," he whispered into her ear soothingly, his own pain choking his voice. He couldn't see Ishaani like this - broken and messed up, and it was distinctly breaking his heart a little more by every passing minute.
"I'm tired, Ranveer," she pleaded against his shirt, her voice projecting the exhaustion and despondence now. "Tired of being abandoned by everyone. My real father, you... Chirag... Papa... Papa swore that he'd never leave me, no? Then how could he do this to me, Ranveer? How could he put me through this all over again?! Am I so bad that everyone does this to me? Am I so bad that everyone takes advantage of my emotions and leaves me broken?" she asked him, unable to understand anything anymore.
Everything was a mess.
She just wanted to sleep and let the pain go away.
"Ishaani... I'm sorry..." whispered Ranveer, realizing just how much he'd hurt her and how his one decision to stay away from her for two years had perhaps not been the wisest one, even if it was for the greater good.
There was a bubbling guilt in his heart that threatened to claim him any minute as one particular section of his conversation with Chirag earlier floated into his mind, making his heart beat a little more unevenly. He shouldn't have said that... He regretted saying that, even though he didn't mean to say it out aloud - Ishaani's greatest vulnerability... He just prayed again hope that Chirag hadn't mentioned that to her. But if he would have, wouldn't she have already mentioned it to him? She'd have been angry and mad and would have asked him about it, but she didn't. What did that mean? Where did that make Chirag stand, then?
He looked at Ishaani, his own eyes brimming as wiped away the tears from her face.
"No, I'm sorry for hurting you so much! And that lying, two-timing bas***d! Playing all noble and wanted to call off the engagement between us because he thought I didn't trust him and needed time and was playing the selfless one by being the one to back out from between you and me! And how dare he accuse you of all those things?! How dare he call you a servant?!" she yelled out, looking at him in a mixture of pride and passion.
"Let it go... It doesn't matter anymore..." he whispered, the foreboding in his heart reaching a new peak.
"It does to me!" exploded Ishaani, and Ranveer's heart skipped a beat. "And he had the audacity to lie in my face and tell me about how you were the one back-stabbing me and spoke a whole lot of crap about how you'd supposedly threatened him to stay away from me because you loved me and you'd go to any lengths to make me yours! He didn't even have the guts to speak the truth to me and put it on your head! And if that wasn't enough, he said you told him how being abandoned by the people I love because of being tagged as illegitimate was my biggest insecurity in life and how it had messed me up in so many ways! Yeah right, like you'd such a thing!"
There! The build-up of foreboding exploded in his heart, leaving behind a very sour taste in his mouth. He turned his gaze away from hers as he shut his eyes, a new morbid fear clouding upon all of his senses. Was it fear or was it the alcohol? Why was everything spinning suddenly? He was aware of Ishaani still being in his embrace, but he couldn't understand what he was thinking anymore as thoughts kept flitting in and out randomly, no proper sequence to them.
"What if I did say all those things?" he suddenly blurted out, without any conscious intent to confess.
What did he just do?! Did he just dig his own grave? Why would he tell her something like that, knowing very well how she would react to it?! Why couldn't he just bite his tongue and shut up?
"What?" she asked as she pushed him away from her suddenly in shock. Ranveer nearly lost his balance as he looked at her in surprise. Surprise? It was like a slap on his heart! She'd never done that before!
"What if I did?" he asked her quietly, his eyes meeting her own in a fear such like he'd never felt before.
"You- you'd never do that to me... Especially about my weakness... My deepest vulnerability... You'd never exploit me like that... No..." she whispered, staring at him as though something had broken inside her once again.
No... Not even Ranveer... Not the one person who could never do that to her, no matter what... No!
"Ishaani, I-" began Ranveer, now aghast, but Ishaani had already retracted her steps away from him in stunned disbelief.
"Tell me you didn't..." she pleaded, her eyes now bulging in horror. Ranveer remained silent, and Ishaani got her answer.
"No... No... No... You didn't... How could you, Ranveer? HOW COULD YOU?!" she yelled at him suddenly, not unlike a demented maniac as she caught hold of his collar and shook his whole frame in an anger she'd never known in her whole life.
Chirag's words kept floating in her mind over and over again with the same genuine concern he'd shown her about her choice in believing Ranveer over him until she couldn't take it anymore. She'd made a wrong call. She'd chosen the wrong man. She'd failed the love of her life. She'd failed her Chirag!
"Ishaani, I-"
"SHUT UP!" she yelled at him, the revolt evident in her tone. Tears of hatred flowed through her eyes as she pushed him away from her for the second time that night, now feeling sickened.
"All this time, I thought Chirag was being harsh and judgmental upon you and was the one who'd betrayed me..."
"I didn't-" began Ranveer, who now felt his world disintegrating around him with the series of whips that Ishaani was unleashing upon him in the form of her words. No, this was not how it was supposed to go! He couldn't take that venomous look in her eyes for him. He couldn't!
"How could you do this to me, Ranveer? How could you exploit my weakness like that just to make me your trophy?!" she yelled at him in ire, her face now growing red as more tears escaped her eyes. She'd trusted Ranveer more than herself, a trust that had exploded with such brutal force that it scorched her insides cruelly.
"Ishaani, I swear! It was nothing like this! It's all Chirag's doing... he's man-" began Ranveer, cursing his luck that he'd ever had that conversation with Chirag, and cursing his luck even more to have opened his mouth in front of Ishaani when everything was going well.
"DON'T SAY A WORD AGAINST HIM!" yelled Ishaani at him, outraged. How dare he accuse Chirag after it being his own fault!
"Ishaani, you're not thinking straight. You're emotionally messed up and-" began Ranveer, who was now staring at her in desperation.
"I think I'm thinking straight for the first time... After everything I sacrificed for your happiness... My own happiness, my sense of security, my solace... everything! And this is all I got in return?! You were supposed to be my friend!" she accused brokenheartedly, and Ranveer wished that he'd have rather been dead than hear that tone of betrayal in Ishaani's tone for him.
"Ishaani, I am your best friend! Please... please trust me!" begged Ranveer as he caught her shoulders, but she pushed his hands off from them rudely.
"No, you're not my best friend! Best friends don't do this to each other!"
"Ishaani... I love you more than-" began Ranveer, now too afraid of what was happening. Things were spiralling out of hand and much faster than he could understand.
"No you don't love me! This isn't love! I thought I meant the world to you and you were my shield who protected me from all harm! But all this time..." she trailed off, turning her face away from him as she couldn't look at him anymore. He'd broken her heart. He'd broken her sense of security. He'd broken that bubble of innocence. He'd broken her in smithereens!
"Ishaani, please trust me... You're taking this all wrong! Atleast hear me out!" begged Ranveer, but Ishaani shook her head at him vehemently.
"What is left to hear, Ranveer? Tell me!" she shrieked at him and the pain in her voice made him flinch.
But what about the pain that her heart felt? This was much worse than a heartbreak! First her father, and now Ranveer! Her whole life was a lie! A lie and an illusion and a bubble that had burst so cruelly that she wasn't even sure whether those thirteen years of her life were real or no.
"Ishaani, I-"
"I just want to know one thing - did you or did you not say those things to Chirag?" she asked, her tone suddenly cold. It was like the emotions were suddenly wiped away, leaving behind only coldness and more aloofness that could kill.
"I-" began Ranveer hesitantly, his eyes now red. Something was strangling him - was it the guilt or the fact that she couldn't lie to her?
"Yes or no?" she demanded, her eyes staring into his own in a fire that scorched his weakened soul.
"Yes, but I-"
"You know what hurts me, Ranveer?" cut through Ishaani, her voice now holding the agony of a lifetime. "After all this time where I fought all the odds of the world to defend you from what the world saw you as, they were right after all. Chirag was right after all. You may give them your heart and your soul, but nothing ever changes a servant's mentality."
Ranveer stared at her as though somebody had shot him. His eyes sought her own ones that burned with rage, and yet there was a coldness in them that made his heart explode in his mouth with the most gut-wrenching explosion. Her eyes didn't betray any hidden emotion, not even anger. Just purpose. She meant every word she'd spoken just now.
And not just truly meant them, but spoke them with conviction. She believed what she just said. He could always differentiate the strand of every emotion she felt and when she was speaking the truth and when she wasn't. And he could see the clarity of the truth glistening in her eyes. She'd meant it. She smiled at him in tortured cruelty and continued.
"I thought you were different! I thought Papa's love for you would make you different. Turns out I was wrong and the world was right. How could anyone love a servant when this is all they ever gave in return? Forget love or friendship... Not even loyalty..." she sneered, even though she felt her heart would explode with the suffering that she felt herself go through at the thought of his betrayal that kept flicking into her mind every second.
And Ranveer felt the breath leave his lips. The same breath he'd held for thirteen years ever since he's first seen her when she was nine.
"Tell you didn't mean that, please... Ishaani, I'm dying... Please save me... Say that you didn't mean it..." he implored of her, recoiling behind slowly and the horror of what she'd said.
No... No... Why hadn't he died before hearing this? Why could she have killed him before telling him this!? Why did she have to kill him with this?
But all Ishaani did was eye him in loathing.
"It's hurts, no? And it's good that it does. Because you've broken me down, Ranveer, and used me-" she accused, suddenly feeling a pang of hatred surge into her veins such like she'd never known. Chirag's words kept ringing in her ears again and again in a hypnotic mantra and it only made her heart pump lividly. He deserved to feel the pain she was feeling right now!
"Ishaani, how could you even think of me like that after everything we've been through together? Ishaani, trust me, I didn't say it like that," spoke Ranveer in a small voice, but he'd lost the will to fight.
Ishaani had the same look of abhorrence on her face that made Ranveer flinch. No... No... He couldn't take it any more. His life was a lie. His existence was a lie. All his life, if one person could never, ever call him a servant, it was Ishaani because she never saw him that way. But she did tonight... His life was a lie. Everything was a lie... He couldn't live... No... He couldn't take this now... It was killing him...
"And yet you did. I hate you, Ranveer... I HATE YOU!" she yelled at him, the venom and pain in her voice too much to take for him. The fact that she hated him was enough to rip his soul apart, but the fact that he was the cause of her pain and unhappiness made sure to shatter his heart into pieces.
"No, please... no..." he entreated softly, his voice now breaking.
He couldn't take the weight of what was happening. It was too much. His heart was wrangled and thrown back into his face along with his soul ripped brutally. How could she think of him like that after everything they'd been through together? If that wasn't enough, Ishaani continued, her tone now bitter.
"How could anyone love you, Ranveer? What do you know about love? After everything we did for you and your family... And you dared to confess your love! If you think what you have for me is love, think again. Just because we speak nicely twice, you think it is love," she tormented him, her eyes flaring at him in despise.
All those promises... everything turned to dust. She felt more blocks of her heart and soul break with the shards of her broken trust. The trust that her only friend that broken.
"Please listen to me atleast once..." he asked of her beseechingly, his heart too tired to beat anymore.
"You listen to me, Ranveer," spoke Ishaani coldly, her voice catching his attention in dread. She didn't now how she mustered the courage to speak when all she wanted to do was collapse. She didn't want to live in this cruel world anymore.
"Go away from here, as far as you can. I never, ever want to see you again. Ever," she emphasized and Ranveer heard something crack from within. Was it his heart that had finally given up?
"No... No... I cannot you alone in a time like this..." he whispered, knowing that she needed someone to set her right in spite of whatever that had happened between them.
She was weak... vulnerable... a prey...
"I have Chirag with me. And thank you for making me realize that listening to my heart was the biggest mistake of my life. This is the price I'm paying for listening to it just once. And thank you also for making me realize who is my genuine well-wisher and friend..." she boasted, and Ranveer gasped in despair.
Every word was as though somebody was turning a knife in his wound over and over again. Why couldn't she take a knife and stab him once and for all? He didn't want to live anymore anyway.
"Ishaani, he isn't what you-" he began, still unable to take that image out from his head in spite of whatever Chirag might have told or proven to him. But all Ishaani did was scorn at him in pity.
Pity... the thing he hated the most.
"Did that really even happen? Or was that another one of your fantastic stories, just like the ones you'd make up as a child?" she taunted and he felt his own soul strangle him now.
And even through the mists of heartbreak, the brain took over the job of reasoning. What if...? What if Chirag was messing with her head? No... It couldn't be. And yet those eyes. He didn't like him not just by principle, but there was something off about him entirely.
"Ishaani, he's mani-" began Ranveer but Ishaani raised her hand as a cue to remain silent.
"Don't use that word in front of me! The art of manipulation... I was a fool! All this time, I thought you were protecting me from it, but I was wrong! You were the one manipulating me all this time! And you were always a natural at it now, weren't you? All those sugar-coated words and those eye-locks and whatnots... How could I have been so stupid?! How could Papa have been so stupid!? I feel sorry for Papa that for the wise man he was, he made such an error in judgment but I'm relieved that atleast he didn't die knowing what a betrayer you were... the truth alone would have killed him..."
And just like that, Ranveer felt himself break. Disintegrate. Whose soul was tarnished and heart powdered. This was the last straw he needed. Not just for her to call him a servant was one thing but to say things like that about his mentor!
He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't live with himself anymore!
"Ishaani, you cannot marry Chirag..." he whispered finally, his tone as hoarse as his mentor's was in his last moments. He had to protect her one last time even though his shield was tattered and torn. That was it. He was done.
"Why, because you love me? Because I'm your trophy to keep? I will marry Chirag," she challenged, and Ranveer shot back in spite of himself.
"He's a cheater!"
"What proof do you have that it was him?" asked Ishaani instantly and Ranveer bit his tongue.
She felt a corrosive ache in her heart at the sight of the man she once thought was her universe. It seemed like an insult to think so! But then why was her heart aching so badly every time she called him names and scorned him so badly? Why was her heart bleeding every time she hurt him?
"I don't but trust me-" he began, but she cut him out. Trust him? Trust him? Why would she, after everything that was said and done between them?
"I did. And I regret it," she spoke in a low voice, her eyes reflecting a pain that made Ranveer bleed a little more.
He was worn down slowly, intimately with all of his insecurities whipped across his heart in the most merciless manner. She knew how to kill him. Not physically, but mentally. Emotionally. And she was doing a spectacular job at it.
"Ishaani, please. Don't do this. You are my world!" he pleaded silently, but it now fell upon deaf ears. She just wanted to kill him.
"And you were my biggest mistake!" she exclaimed in anguish, and her heart squelched violently.
Why was it betraying her? What did it want to tell her? Why did it feel like it would explode? Why did it feel a pain like no other with the way her brain was inflicting those wounds upon him? He deserved them, her mind yelled! And yet her heart kept bleeding... She wouldn't listen to her heart, no. She did once, and she saw the price she was paying for it.
"What do I do to redeem myself, Ishaani? Please... forgive me... please... be my friend again," he begged further, now falling upon her feet. He'd already sold his dignity and self-respect in front of her. What more was left to do now?
"That's not possible after what happened tonight," she replied back in a blank voice, her eyes scrutinizing his prostrated form dispassionately. She felt like a marrionnette who was following her instinct. What kind of an instinct was this?
"Some things never change, Ishaani..." wheezed out Ranveer, this tone slightly slurred as the alcohol now took over his senses momentarily.
"Some things never remain the same," stated Ishaani, and Ranveer slumped upon the ground further.
She eyed him unfeelingly, deciding that only one thing was to be done if she had to protect herself. But from what? From him or from her heart?
"You want to redeem yourself? Get out of my life and never show your face again," she spat out ruthlessly, and he looked up at her in pain. What wouldn't he do if it made her happy if it was all she wanted? He'd stab himself if she asked that of him!
"Will that make you happy?" he asked finally, his eyes now weakly staring into her own powerfully burning ones. What was it burning with? Fury? Passion? Hate? Whatever it was, it was turning him into ashes, oh yes...
"The happiest," she remarked as she pulled him upon his feet in spite of herself. Ranveer looked at her, lost for a moment, before he took her hand and placed it upon his now irregularly-beating heart.
"I swear upon God that I'll leave your life forever," he promised but all she did was give him an ironic smile as she retracted her hand away from his chest. Gone were the days when he could manipulate her with that.
"How do I believe you?
"What?" he asked, now too bruised to bear more wounds.
And she just didn't seem to stop inflicting upon them, salvaging her own broken trust by making him bleed through every pore of his own body.
"I cannot trust you to keep up to your word anymore," she whispered, her tone now bitter once again. And that was it. He finally broke. He finally cried.
"What do you want me to swear upon? The stars and the moon? The universe? The nature? My parents? Myself? You?" he questioned her in agony as tears of pain finally sprung into his eyes.
"Come with me," she whispered as she took her hand in his own and dragged him towards the temple where Thakurji's idol remained. She picked up the pot of her father's ashes and forced Ranveer's hand upon the red cloth.
"Swear upon my father's ashes that you'll never, ever return back to my life again the moment you step out from this threshold. I don't exist for you and you don't for me. Swear that you'll not keep tabs on me or try to keep contact with me in any form or keep an eye on me. Not until I seek you first, even though that's never going to happen. Swear it, if you ever had a grain of loyalty to my father!"
"I swear... upon his ashes... that you don't... exist for me... from this point forth... and I'll never return back into your life... not until you seek me first..." he wheezed out as his vision blurred with tears, knowing that the end had drawn near. Every fragment of the promise made his heart shriek with the most excruciating pain he'd ever known, killing him a little more with every next word that followed.
"That's not going to happen. Goodbye," she said as she set the ashes back upon the pedestal and turned away from him.
"I... I'm your servant... I'll do whatever you say..." he whispered to himself in pain but she'd walked away from him by then, not looking behind even once as he stared at her retreating form, watching his life walk away from him.
-x-
He walked back to his room and pulled out the other spare bottle of alcohol that he'd bought himself the previous day. He put the mouth of the bottle upon his lips, letting the strong liquid flow through down his throat in continuity as the excruciating memory of what had just happened played into his mind over and over again with a clarity that didn't make him know whether he was living a thousand deaths or dying a thousand lives at once.
The empty bottle fell away from his slackened grasp as he crashed upon his knees like a dead man. This was it. He didn't know what to with himself anymore as the tears gushed out from his eyes, crying like he'd never cried before. He didn't know where life was going to take him now that life had abandoned him because he was a servant. Yes that's what he was at the end of the day and he was never supposed to forget that. A servant. His brain yelled the accusation out at him in torment over and over again in Ishaani's own voice.
SERVANT!
SERVANT!
SERVANT!
And yet his heart didn't stop the taunts anymore. Did he even have a heart left anymore? A soul? No. It was all stripped away when she called him a servant. Yes, he had nothing left in him anymore. Neither the will to fight, nor to even live, for that matter.
It was the same place years ago where he's found life in her arms when he wanted to embrace death. And today, it was the same place where he'd found death in her arms when he wanted to embrace life. His eyes shut as the world spun around him dangerously, the breath not enough for him that he was drawing in. If this was death and it would reunite him with his mentor who could read his heart and soul much better than this cruel world could, then he wanted to succumb to it.
He felt his head hit something hard and then everything was gone.
-x-
She walked back into her room and shut the door behind her, her mind unable to fathom anything anymore. Her whole life was a lie. Her memories with Ranveer were all a lie. She walked up to the washroom to throw up when she couldn't take in the memory of what she'd just done to him and come. He'd broken her by breaking her trust, so she broke him entirely. In all the ways possible.
"COWARD!" her heart yelled out to her but her brain silenced the accusation. Until her heart kept yelling it out louder and louder and even her brain couldn't silence it anymore
COWARD!
COWARD!
COWARD!
She yelled at the top of her voice as she shut her ears, hoping for the voice to drown away. A voice that she suddenly realized matched Ranveer's.
"Stop it!" she yelled out but the voices only grew louder and louder until it made her blood go cold.
She pulled open the door of the cabinet to extract cotton to stuff in her ears when digging her nails into her skin no longer worked. Suddenly, her eyes fell upon a scalpel with a red ribbon on it. Devarsh's little joke of a gift when he'd come to visit her last month. He was going to get his degree in a few months. And yet, there was something about the scalpel that caught her attention. The red on it. The symbol of blood. Yes... This is what she needed to drown the voices of her mind. She had to cut them out.
She had to cut out the thing that kept calling her a coward!
She pulled the instrument out from the cabinet and removed the bow from it. Staring at the cold metal for some time, she shut her eyes, letting the metal graze upon the skin of her inner arm, just midway through her elbow and her wrist. The voices rang louder and louder in her head when the cold metal cut through her skin, letting the warm liquid ooze out from her wound in harmony. This was her first association with the scalpel.
The voices dimmed in her head as the bathroom began fading away from her vision. She couldn't draw in enough breath as she felt everything choking her - the memories of her father and Chirag - their smiles, their eyes, their laughter, their love, their affection. And then there was Ranveer. He was the one choking her, really. Or was it death? Or was he going to be her death? But if this was death and it would reunite her with her father, she wanted to succumb to it.
She felt her head hit the cool surface of the floor and then, everything was gone.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Interlude 17
Parineeti
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
Celebrity Fan Clubs
