Epistle 63: The Circle of Shadow and LightA/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
Note: This chapter's idea is taken straight out from the show's Panchmeshwar episode. :D :D
Happy Reading! :D :D
18th January, 2007:
I will kill Ranveer one day, I swear!
That asinine idiot! Has he no sense of a prank?! Four years ago, he'd made such a hullabaloo about pranks and drawing limits and he thinks what he did today was funny? This is why I say that Papa and Kaka should not make him sit on their heads so much because he gets drunk with so much love. Idiot. I'll have my revenge on that buffoon one day soon. Ofcourse I'll remember my "limits", but what he did today was just sheer spite.
Argh! He frustrates me like no other! Honestly, if I had things my way, I'd have borrowed Baa's whip and given him one just to make his brains come back! Who the hell pretends to lose their memory like that just to make a point? Did he even know how afraid I'd gotten? Sadist. This time, no one's stopping me from having my revenge on him. Not funny, people, not funny.
Fine! I'll tell you what happened.
Like you know, I just passed my driving test ten days back and now I've officially gotten my license. So I can drive around wherever I want on my own so Ranveer has no trouble of having to accompany me at all places unnecessarily. I thought both Papa and Ranveer would be happy, but on the contrary, they looked even more worried than usual. It's as though they just don't have faith upon me to do any good on my own.
It was once! Once that I made the mistake of going out on my own and unfortunately it was the day of the 11th July blasts! I wasn't even in any of those vicinities but well... everybody panicked. Ranveer tells me Papa was this close to having an attack, especially after what happened in the 26th July floods. Oh come on! The floods were my mistake, I admit, but how was I supposed to know about the latter incident?!
And like how logic leaves Ranveer and my arguments always, logic left this argument as well and Papa forbade me from leaving the house alone again, not without Ranveer or anybody else, atleast. Not a foolproof plan and loads of loopholes but okay, I got where the sentiments came from so I didn't argue. It took a whole year for Maa and Papa's paranoia about me to fade off, and Ranveer... well, he's always been my shadow.
So here I was all happy that I was finally independent and had my own driver's license when Papa and Ranveer both poured cold water upon my happiness with their less-than-satisfactory response. That's what happens when the people you love the most are overprotective fools. They can't keep protecting me from everything now, can they? But who's to argue with them on this?
So Papa and Ranveer took me on a test run last week to see how I drive. Okay, I'm a very safe driver and I was brilliant in my tests and all, both on road as well as on the slope. But maybe it was because both of them were sitting upon my heads and I was just plain nervous that I was about to make a mistake that I did terrible. Missed getting hit thrice, nearly hit twice and ran a red signal too. Not pretty at all.
And you know what a tantrum I'd put up for it when I'd gotten back home and Ranveer and Papa gave me those stupid sympathetic looks. Ranveer didn't let go of it the whole day about how the person taking my test was suicidal and hence passed me off in the first attempt. Jerk. I really don't understand why guys are so pessimistic about women driving? It's not as though men are any extraordinary at it... They do the same mistakes as us, but they just put on that daredevil macho sort of constipated look and think they've pulled off something great.
Oh, I could go on and on about it, but let's move ahead. So after the whole kite competition's successful attempt, Ranveer suddenly had a "change of heart" that maybe he was a little too judgmental with me and decided that we should go for another test drive, but this time towards the ghats since it's sloppy and plus the roads are much more open. Well, those kind of roads are my forte so well, I was up for it. Anything to prove that I could drive. And besides, since both Ranveer and I have been having a terrible month (it's not even the first month of the New Year and I can't wait to get shot of it!), we decided that a long drive was what was required.
So off we went at four in the morning for a drive. Well technically, we were sneaking out from the house since nobody was to know about it. Ranveer was an expert on sneaking out anyway since four years and he's trained me well on it as well, which I've unfortunately abused the privilege of when I randomly disappear from home whenever I'm too upset. It's not that difficult to find me, not for Ranveer atleast. Baa has made him an official sniffer. Maliciously though she puts it, even she's awestruck about the fact that Ranveer can find me from anywhere, literally anywhere, and bring me back home.
He's my shadow, so he's bound to know where I am.
I'm still mad at him, but whatever. Where praise and credit is due, it is due. Damn it! This is why he takes advantage of me all the time... but no! This time, I'm not going to let those puppy eyes melt me into talking with him again. No, no and no! It's not like I'd have listened to him if he'd have told me that I was a bad driver or would have not driven the car if he'd have said so, but seriously? Faking a memory loss and giving me a panic attack? What the heck was he thinking? Remind me again how he's the topper of his class in Economics again? Ah, yes... that bloody art of manipulation of his. Moron.
Coming back to the point. So, we were driving and it was alright, I think. Once again, I made a lot of mistakes and well, it was embarrassing. But how am I supposed to learn if I don't make mistakes?! Just because Ranveer's got excellent skills, that doesn't mean that I'm a poor driver. I just... lack confidence, when it comes to driving with him as a passenger. I'm so worried about impressing him that I end up screwing up more. And he! When I told him this, he actually laughed at me! He says when I'm so confident with going 'yap yap' all the time, I should be confident with this too.
Just use brains instead of the tongue.
And so we reached the ghats. And I can say with certainty that the moment we got out of the city roads, my driving got better as well. Dawn was about to break out any moment and Ranveer relaxed back into his seat. Well, I was driving smooth for once, and he looked this close to satisfied that maybe he had actually misjudged me. And then, my streak of bad luck happened. I swear, so close, but no!
Ranveer and I were arguing about something stupid related to who could drive better and I lost focus from upon the road. Well, it was an empty road anyway. But it was like magic, I swear! One moment, an empty road; next moment, a gigantic truck that came out of nowhere! I swerved barely at the last moment and Ranveer kept yelling to hit the brake before we hit into something else. And it was all in the heat of the moment with all the confusion and panic that I hit the accelerator. Fifteen seconds later, the car found a tree to come to a rude halt at.
And ouch, that hurt.
I remember opening my eyes almost instantly as the airbag prevented most of the impact and it all spun for me. The dawn had just broken through and it was thankfully just quarter past six. But God, it was awful! Never have I felt this sore in all my life. Okay, the floods made me feel this terrible too, yes, isbut t sucked. I let my head fall upon the airbag uselessly as I felt a strong wave of nausea threaten to claim me, waiting for the moment to pass. It was slow and I was self-conscious and it was a very unfruitful wait, but the feeling did eventually pass off.
I couldn't for the life of it remember how I'd come to hurt this much, but I think I remembered checking myself for any injuries or broken limbs but found none. And I thanked God so dearly. Another five minutes later, I'd begun feeling better with every passing second, the shock finally wearing off for me. And that's when I looked beside and felt the nausea hit me immediately. Ranveer remained motionless beside me with his head drooped in an awkward angle. He'd fainted from the impact. I knew that the passenger beside the driver always had the worst impact in an accident and just the thought of it made me shiver.
I don't remember what happened exactly next because I'd kind of gone into a daze of panic. I think I jumped out of the car and ran by his side to wake him up and get him conscious again. He had a ruptured lip and his head was bleeding a bit from his temple. God, for one moment there, I was so frightened! For that one ugly, brutal moment, I thought that I'd actually killed him!
But the moment I began patting his cheek, he groaned and I think my knees turned into jelly with relief. I pulled him out from the car in spite of him hissing protests, but I knew that he had to get out. I checked his arms and face for any other bruises but apart from a sprain in his left wrist, thankfully there were none. His head also looked alright minus the cut on his right temple from where he was lightly bleeding. But otherwise, he looked alright. I quickly directed him and made him sit upon a stony ledge beside the tree and sat upon my knees, looking at him in concern.
I asked him repeatedly how he was but he remained silent, as though in shock. His eyes were open, but unseeing. I was still reeling from the shock myself so I couldn't blame him. I quickly ran over and brought him some water to drink, and he drank that silently. And then, the freak show began. I really wish that I could have run him over with the car, I was that frightened and mad at him.
"Who- who are you?" he asked me hoarsely, his eyes as wide as saucepans.
"What?" I asked him in return stupidly. He looked at me with the same incorrigible expression.
"Who are you?" he repeated again, his time his voice on the edge of panic. I felt a lump of fear rise into my throat as I tried to search his face for the first sign of a prank. His eyes were dead serious. And the Oscar of Best Performer Male goes to... *rolls eyes*
"Ra-Ranveer, it's me... Ishaani! What's wrong with you?" I questioned, shaking him slightly. He looked at me, horrified, and threw my hands off from his shoulders.
"Ranveer? Who's Ranveer?"
"Ranveer, stop it!" I shrieked, now afraid. Oh, his eyes were so blank... I really wonder whether he was serious over here because the twinkle in his eyes were missing. Remind me to ask him about this later.
"No, get away from me! No, no please... I- I don't know who you are!" he yelled back in response, now looking terrified. His eyes darted about all over the place as he looked lost.
"What? Ranveer, look at me!" I begged as I cupped his cheeks, forcing him to look at me. He still had that petrified expression upon his face and threw my hands off for the second time. He stood up abruptly but sat down again the next moment, looking as though he'd stood up too quickly.
"No, take your hands off of me... let me go..." he murmured as his eyes kept opening and shutting. They suddenly snapped open and he winced in "apparent" pain.
"Your hands are too strong... you're squashing my arm! What are you, Sunny Deol? Let go of me!" he demanded once again as he began wriggling against my grip with all his might. Shamefully, I think he still hadn't recovered from the shock because I easily managed to overpower him.
"Ranveer, what's wrong with you?! It's me... your Ishaani..." I pleaded once again, now feeling the frustration pave way to a newfound panic. Ranveer always knew where to draw the line. Yet his eyes... they were devoid of emotion. Devoid of that twinkle. Seriously, he's not even that good of an actor although he's a brilliant dramatist. I definitely need to ask him about this now.
"My name's not Ranveer! Stop calling me that!" he shrieked before looking aghast. "Wait... what's my name then? My head... why does it hurt so much..." he moaned, shutting his eyes and catching hold of his temples.
He opened them the next instant as he retracted his hand, seeing the blood upon them that his temple had provided. He looked at his hands in horror as he sprung up for the second time. He sat back down again instantly, holding his head in his hands as he let go of a sob. Okay now that I'm recollecting all this, I'm confused. I definitely need to talk to him about it.
"Relax... drink some more water, okay? You'll- you'll remember everything... please..." I tried to pacify him as he accepted the bottle from me and drank some more water, before pouring the rest of its content on his head as though hoping that the water would douse him out of his stupor.
I stared at him in trepidation as he remained oddly silent, worried that maybe that something had indeed gotten messed up with his brains.
I cupped his cheeks again so that our eyes could meet.
"Now relax and think calmly, okay? I'm Ishaani... You're Ranveer... with me so far?" he nodded his head and suddenly, it was as though a connection had been established. Something flared in his eyes momentarily, but I was too busy keeping my own panic in bay to notice what that was. And before that connection could break, this is what I think I tried bringing back his memory with.
"We- we're best friends! We- we share all our secrets with each other! We love to see the stars together... I love the rains, but you hate them but I still make you wet in them in spite of knowing how quickly you catch a cold... Ice-cream! I love eating ice-cream but you apply them for your wounds... You- you're my shadow, you always accompany me wherever you go... you're my Prefect Perfect! You- you just defeated Papa at the kite competition! That's why you have so many band-aids on your hand!"
"No... you're lying... you're lying... no..." he protested, yet he did not throw my hands off of his face this time as stared at me intently, a look that I couldn't decipher. I felt my lips tremble as I choked out the next few words. The tears had already begun, and my voice had begun to crack as well.
"No, I swear to God! You- you made me promise that I'd never abuse again after the 26th July flood when we made promises to each other about the one thing we'd change! I- I made you promise never to save my life or let me get away with anything I want! Please... please, you'll remember... Please... You're my best friend, my only friend... My shadow... Please..."
"I... I..." he stuttered, but I didn't let him complete.
"Ranveer please... We- we came out here for a long drive! You said I couldn't drive and I wanted to prove you wrong! I swear, I'll never drive again! Please!"
A long silence went around the place as I began to cry in earnest, breaking eye contact with him. I don't know for how long I sat like that, feeling helpless and guilty until I felt him wipe away my tears. I looked up at him to see him smiling down upon me. The world was suddenly sunny.
"You look so cute when your nose has gone all red. Doesn't suit your Sunny Deol image, but whatever," he joked, his thumbs wiping away the last remnants of the tears. And instead of stopping, I cried more, his thumbs instantly working like human wipers upon my face. Ranveer began to laugh stupidly at me, looking apologetic and clearly surprised at my outburst.
I care about him too much to kill him, but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to try. My hands found its way around Ranveer's neck.
"You idiot! I'll kill you!" I yelled as I sprung to my feet and pulled him up with me upon his feet. He laughed even louder before trying to pry away my fingers from his neck.
"God, let go of me, woman! Ouch, your hands really hurt! I was serious about that!" he joked, now trying harder and harder to take my hands off of him that had formed into a perfect lock.
"You called me Sunny Deol, now live with it!" I shrieked, shaking his neck alongside. Oh, I was so angry, I could have killed him easily. Who cared if I looked like an idiot with tears still pouring from my face?
"Aye, get your hands off of me, meri maa! Have you gone mad? I was just joking!" he begged, finally managing to throw my hands off of his neck as he ran as fast as he could. I was hot on his heels, picking up a couple of stones. This was a limit!
"Yeah, you better run because I'll coming for you! I'll find you and I'll kill you!" I threatened and he looked behind as I hurled the first stone at him. It missed spectacularly.
"God, not stones! Your driving nearly treated me like one! Alright, alright sorry!" he cried as I threw two more at him. Even they missed. What was wrong with my aim? Why were my hands shaking so much? He took a roundabout and came to a halt beside the car and I took my chance. I pinned him against the car and gave him one nice tight slap, before hitting him wherever my hands found flesh.
"You stupid, idiot, arse, jerk, moron! How could you do something like that to me!? I'm not going to spare you!" I yelled at him in a demented frenzy as he shielded himself from the rain of beatings that I was so benevolently showering upon him.
"Ishaani, listen to me..." he heaved, finally managing to grip my wrists.
"Ishaani..." he called out to me as I fought as hard as I could, but this time his grip upon my hands was strong enough. Not rough, strong.
"Ishaani..." he called out for the third time as I tried to free myself as hard as I could, refusing to listen to him.
"Ishaani! Listen to me!" he yelled loudly and I fell limp.
I stared at him tearfully as I could feel his thumbs pressed against my wrists. It was his way of making me listen to him. I made to stutter but his gaze silenced me. What was it that exuded so powerfully from his eyes? Was it affection? Was it some kind of passion? What was it, I really couldn't fathom. Except for the fact that it hypnotized me and made me heart beat irregularly all of a sudden.
He let go of my wrists when he was satisfied that he held my gaze and I wouldn't fight him off again. He cupped my cheeks gently as the sun finally peeked out of the clouds, hitting Ranveer's face with its full impact as his eyes burned chocolate. I couldn't help but notice that his lower lip had swollen up now.
"You told me how much I mean to you," he began, his voice soft yet husky enough to hold my attention. "But I just want you to remember one thing. There may be a chance that I might forget about my own existence for one moment, but not you. I'm your shadow, remember? Shadows never forget the light that makes them. I might forget myself, but never you. Do you understand?"
I stared at him, transfixed, as my eyes burned away with the tears that openly cascaded from my cheeks. I nodded my head at him weakly as I pulled him in for a bear hug.
"Just- just promise me you won't frighten me like this again, okay?" I cried out into his shirt, my voice muffled. Yet he knew what I'd asked of him.
"I promise. Let's go home now, you need to patch me up before anybody catches us like this," he joked weakly as we separated. He was still awkward about the hugs, now more so than ever. I really don't know why.
"What about the car?" I asked him as my eyes fell upon the pitiable state the vehicle was in.
"I'll handle it. Are you alright?" he questioned, the concern laced in his voice making me smile in spite of myself.
"Apart from the fact that you gave me a heart-failure? Yes, I'm perfectly fine. And say what you want, you stay away from me today, okay?" I warned as I pushed him away from me, suddenly feeling angry at him once again. Now that I'd gotten my reassurance about his well-being and safety, I could stay mad at him for as long as I wanted.
"Aha! Weren't you the one shedding crocodile tears for me just two minutes back?" he boasted mischievously as I stared at him, caught off-guard. There was something... radiant about the way he stared at me that knocked me off of my feet in that moment. Maybe it was the sun.
But no, I couldn't let him melt away my anger so fast, not when he still had to pay the punishment of what he put me through.
"You obnoxious-" I threatened as a pick up some more stones from the ground. He looked at them fearfully and began running once again.
"Yikes, not the stones again! Help me, I've got a mental Sunny Deol behind me! Aye, don't hit me with those two-and-a-half kilo hands of yours!"
And I don't know for how long we ran with me misaiming all the stones at Ranveer until he tripped. It was rather funny and quite satisfying after the shock he gave me. Oh it was such a good chance to hit him, but I knew that inspite of his crappy prank, he did hurt himself. So whether he liked it or no, I would have to be the one driving us home. I misaimed a stone at him on purpose and it fell right beside him as he looked at me, afraid.
I stopped chasing him and signalled him to remain where he was as I made my way back to the car. Well, the bonnet was dented to the T and both the headlights had gone off. The bumper was intact, but badly dented. The second car in nearly two years that we'd damaged.
Our return back home was quiet. The wound on Ranveer's temple had bloomed purple and his lip looked bad, but not bad enough for stitches. An ice-pack would have to do. But I could make out that he was in pain. By the time we got home, everybody were awake and looked at us quite in shock, especially Ranveer. And like always, Ranveer took up for me.
His invention?
We were parking the car on the outskirts of the "beach road" when a truck in front of us reversed right into our car by mistake. An incident like this had happened with Maa some years back so she knew it was probable. And since "Ranveer" was on the driver's seat, he got hurt, but otherwise both of them were unscathed. He's such a good liar at times, I swear. Can lie straight through the teeth and so convincingly at that when it comes to protecting me.
Well, Papa wanted to call the police but both of us made him relax. Well, calling the police would mean myself going to jail for nearly killing myself and my best friend just because I pressed the wrong lever of the car. Maa sent Ranveer to his room and went with him to do the dressing for his forehead since Kaka had taken Baa to the temple. Papa told me to go in my room and rest.
I really, really hate this day. This day also marks the six-year anniversary of Ranveer's accident at the factory. And seeing the amount of accident streaks that the two of us have been having of late alone in this month, I cannot help but feel apprehensive. And then he thinks that pulling off such kind of pranks are funny. Well had we not been having such a terrible month or had it not been this day, I'd have even found it funny. But no, it wasn't. Stupid fellow.
Oh Lord, it's already noon! Maa told me that she's given Ranveer a painkiller and put him off to sleep. Let me go check up on him atleast. Say what he will to make me feel better, the impact was rather bad. I just hope that he's alright... I'll really, really kick him if he isn't. He promised he wouldn't give into my whims and desires! Doesn't he ever learn his lessons? He really needs to stop taking things related to himself so lightly, not when he knows how much it worries me and how much I care about him.
Doesn't he understand that there would be no light if there was no shadow?
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Epistle 64
Edited by LadyMeringue - 8 years ago
Book Talk
Cricket
