Epistle 99: The Calm Before the StormA/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
This chapter is dedicated to Aaru since it's her birthday tomorrow (ie. the 21st), so here's a small gift for you, darling! I hope you like it. :D :D
Happy Reading! :D :D
20th March, 2009:
Shit, I screwed up.
God, what was I thinking, really? I should have gone up to Ishaani and spoken to her about this before going to that idiot. And I've made a right fool of myself! And I don't even know whether it was worth it because after talking to Chirag, I'm not sure anymore. Neither about what I saw the previous night nor about my own views about him so far.
It's been a different world ever since Mota Babuji left us. A world that's just living, and yet not truly alive because its soul is missing. He is missing. I thought that I'd lost a part of my Universe when I came to know about Ishaani's love for Chirag and how she's so madly in love with him. But if I thought that was the worst thing that happened to me last week, I was yet to realize that I hadn't reached rock bottom.
Sometimes it's still so difficult to believe that Mota Babuji is not in between us... It feels like he'll pop up any minute with that same radiant smile upon his face that gives us all an unknown gusto for just conquering everything that's in front of us. And he'll pat my shoulder and assure me about how everything is going to be alright whenever I get too pessimistic. Or even stroke my hair gently everytime I do something good at the stock markets or in my academics.
I'm going to miss him so much. The way he loved me like a son... like his own son. The way he trusted me and the dream he saw for both of us so that I could become something in life. I'm just going to miss him terribly, especially in a world where I don't know anything anymore and nothing's the same anymore. Mota Babuji always said that life was like a yin yang - some things changed, but some things always remained the same, no matter what.
This world isn't the same. Not without him in it anymore.
Ishaani and I have been spending more time together ever since he passed away. Or to be a little more specific, she only speaks to me now. No one else in the house - neither her cousins nor even her mother. And most certainly not to Chirag, which in itself I find extremely surprising because from being love sick about him to ignoring him and looking through him right in front of my eyes, it's been an unexpected development amidst all the turmoil in our lives.
But even though my heart wants to sing in joy about this, it can't. Not because I'm guilty about this sudden estrangement between Chirag and Ishaani. No. But because my Ishaani isn't the same anymore. I always knew what an incident like this could do to her should the time come, but this is even worse than my biggest nightmares. She's not human anymore.
She's just... dead. Cold. Unfeeling.
It's as though something just... died inside her when she fell into my arms in the hospital that night. It was as though a part of her died in my arms, just like Mota Babuji died in front of my eyes and took his last breath right in front of me. That is one thing that will haunt me forever in my dreams. These two moments will haunt me my entire life until the moment I breathe my last in this world.
All this time, I've always stood in front of Ishaani and made all her pain my own, all her anguish my own. And yet I cannot do anything this time. She is dying in front of my eyes, and all I can do is watch because she's too dead to feel any pain and yet her soul is writhing in agony every passing moment. I've stood time and again in front of her as I've even readily embraced death for her as long as it meant that she walked out of it unscathed.
I watched her die right in front of my eyes and all I could do was watch.
There is no world around us anymore because it's dissolving a little more everyday as we keep getting sucked more and more into a black hole of our own. Ishaani and I may not say this to each other but we're both turning into prisoners of our emotions as we're too afraid to feel anymore. The last time we let ourselves bleed like that, it left Ishaani and myself the way we are right now - halfway to dead.
Today is our thirteenth anniversary as friends, and this is definitely not how I saw us or pictured the day as. A delusional version of my past pictured this exact day to confess my feelings to her upon the terrace tonight where they'd be an onslaught of emotions and heavily loaded ones at that, whether she reciprocated it or no. But it was folly of me to think about the future so foolishly when there is never a guarantee for the present. And look where we are today, right in this moment. I don't think that either one of us are capable of even crying anymore or even emoting at all, for that matter.
But atleast I have some hold upon myself when it comes to my emotional stability. She doesn't. Not anymore. And her silence is even more frightening than her yells of anguish. It's been a week now and ever since the night at the hospital, she'd just fallen cold. She doesn't talk anymore... she doesn't even cry. Only asks everyone to leave her in silence. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep... Just spends hours and hours upon the terrace once the sun sinks. I wanted to take her upon the beach or even to the forest to try healing her, but she doesn't seem inclined to leave the house at all.
Falguni Maa has already tried her level best to get her to open up about everything that's eating her up, but nothing seems to be working anymore. The only little she responds to is me, and atleast talks to me a little and even lets me feed her what little dinner I bring her up. She's gone into shock... I know the symptoms too well because this is what had happened to me all those years back after my accident. And I know that no matter how much I try, nothing is going to work upon her unless she chooses to break out of the prison that she's making around herself with every passing day.
A prison around her emotions, her feelings and her heart so that it cannot feel anything... Or rather, so that even though the pain keeps crashing against it, it won't flow into her heart anymore. She hopes that it will leave her as lifeless as her heart could be without the soul that's left a burning void in her heart. She hopes that it'll save her from her feelings and emotions that only seem to be sapping a little more of her essence with every passing day. And even though I know the whole process and the end point of it, all I can do is watch.
Watch, because I know that her pain will have to destroy someone first before she finds her semblance back. I had to destroy Love all those years back in my dreams just so that I could find my footing back into a life that I'd nearly given up upon. And so, I know that the only way she can overcome the shock and the onset of the depression is going to be by destroying someone. Who that someone is going to be, I don't know, but the pain will tear apart everything - the world, the person across her and even herself. Because that destruction is going to be a fatal blow, especially from a person like Ishaani whose emotions run deeper than the secrets lying beneath the deepest ocean.
And somewhere deep down, my heart isn't at peace anymore. Not just because of whatever's transpired ever since I set foot in this house again but because something just feels wrong. There's a strange calm in the house that I don't like at all. Everybody are silently coping with the loss of Mota Babuji and everybody are learning to slowly move forward as life's beginning to give all of us a push again. And yet Ishaani and I are the only two who are stuck behind, standing at the same place that we were upon the night of Mota Babuji's death.
We're both rooted to the spot, and try as much as we do, we can't just move ahead. It's as though both of us are stuck in a hypnotic trance, hoping that the spell will just break and everything will just go back to the way it used to be even though we know that nothing can ever remain the same anymore. We've lost too much to hope for things to remain the same anymore. And then again, there's my un-reciprocated confession that stands in between. Things may work out for Ishaani and Chirag, and hopefully she'll be able to walk out of this if she managed to save herself in time, but there's no way I'm walking out of this alive.
I've been trying to use country liquor as a means to drown away the helplessness that's now beginning to take a toll upon me as my emotions are no longer in my control. It's as though Mota Babuji's death made me lose control upon the way I handled emotions and now everything is just impulse for me. I cannot exercise conscious effort anymore since everything's going into trying to create a balance for Ishaani's emotions and everything around us in the household. And the fact that Ishaani lets me drink so abusively without a single complaint is yet another reminder about what his death has done to her.
We never talk much since it's mostly just silent, mournful star-gazing these past few days but it isn't amiss to either one of us that there is my confession that's dangling upon our friendship, held by a very fine thread. The day it falls upon our friendship, there's no way we're walking out of this unscathed. We both know what's at stake, but we're both just too tired to face another arena of emotionally draining feelings. Because if things don't work out after going through what we would be putting ourselves through, the weight of the pain is just going to kill us. Or just me, because I'm not going to let anything befall her.
So if I have to die for her to walk unscathed, it's a price I'm willing to pay.
Sometimes I just wish that I'd never loved like the way I did. But would I have even been alive then? People's lives begin when they are born into this world, but mine began when I first saw Ishaani. That was the moment when I forgot what it was like to breathe for the breath that I held in that day hasn't escaped till date. And yet it was when I stopped breathing at her sight that I truly began to live. But that doesn't make the heartbreak any easier. It doesn't make the imploding love any easier.
I thought that confessing to her would free me of all the burden of my suppressed feelings, but I was wrong. I have to work twice as hard to keep them hidden now, especially given everything that's happened ever since. And even though I'm trying to hold it all and balance everything, I know that I'm fighting a losing battle. I can feel everything slipping away from my hands with every passing minute and I can only feel all the bonds bruise me more and more every moment as my shoulders ache terribly with the weight of all the sacrifices and the responsibilities that it cannot take anymore.
But I know that I have to because that's what my Mota Babuji entrusted upon me during his last breath - to carry the baton and be Ishaani's invisible benefactor just like he's been there for her in all these years. And I know that she's always going to be at the top of my priority, no matter what. And that's why, even though I don't want to hurt anymore like the way I am with this heartbreak and I wish that my love would not asphyxiate me the way it is doing so at this very minute, I know that loving her has been the best thing that's ever happened to me and that's why I need to keep her safe and protect her at all costs.
Not just from the world, but from herself as well.
And that's why I don't trust Chirag one bit. Even more so ever since I saw what he did last night. I'd just gone out for a stroll after Ishaani had gone off the sleep and the rest of the house was doused in silence. I knew that my alcohol supplies had come to an end and if I needed to keep myself strong and going, I was going to need some more. My parents had come for the funeral from Surat and had paid their last homages before leaving back the next day as I told them that I'd have to stay over at the house a little longer. I'd phoned Zaveri sir and informed him of the same and he'd given me an extension as well after offering his deepest condolences to me. Unlike my parents, he couldn't make it.
So I was was just returning back home with another two bottles that I knew would last me atleast for half a week when I happened to pass by the park. And like I told you last night when I just returned back home from seeing this, I lost it completely as I felt all of my senses get swamped by an anger such like I'd never known. Oh, how sure I was that the guy was Chirag and how I had half a mind to actually kill him for cheating upon Ishaani like that and for exploiting her the way he did, especially at a time like this! And that girl with her mysterious grey eyes...
But as I came to know right now, I was thoroughly mistaken.
Amidst all the binge drinking to drown away those last moments with Mota Babuji in the ICU and what I'd just seen the previous night, my mind kept shuttling between the two alternatives - whether to talk to Ishaani about it first or Chirag. My mind kept yelling out to me to tell Ishaani about it because she deserved to know but my heart was too scared for her. Her balance was as fragile as glass and a single crack would break her apart into smithereens.
And yet my heart refused to talk to Chirag too. It just did, the ill feeling never leaving my guts that should I talk to Chirag about it and things don't go the way I planned it to, it would just ruin everything. And he was bound to tell Ishaani all about it in his own version and it would only unveil the suspended dagger of my confession that we'd both so precariously made ourselves oblivious to in these four days. And yet I didn't have it in me anymore to watch Ishaani crumble again by telling her a truth that I couldn't vouch for a 100% because they were far enough, even though the girl's eyes caught the moonlight.
My heart was sure and yet my mind wasn't.
So finally when the bottle of local liquor dipped to just one-forth of its original quantity and my senses dipped to zero, the decision was made. I would confront and clarify all of this with Chirag first and only after I had sufficient evidence supporting what I saw would I tell Ishaani about it. And so I did. Sleep being as far away from me as it could the whole night, the morning didn't bring any solace with it either as the drunken stupor persisted.
And I made the mistake of confronting Chirag in that state as I waited for him to come and meet all the members of the household like he had been doing everyday. But before he could leave, I quietly took him to my room by simply telling him that I had something important to talk to him about. He didn't looked convinced and looked a little intimidating too, especially his eyes, but I think that was just the alcohol playing up with me.
I wasn't sober yet even though my memory about what transpired during my drunken haze was as good as ever. All the binge drinking in Sydney has certainly helped sort that one issue out, even though I still cannot handle alcohol well. And I don't think I did any better today because the conversation went nowhere near the way I had imagined it to go in my head. On the contrary, I dearly regret ever confronting Chirag in the first place now that I'm sober and with a headache, and I regret even more so some of the things I let slip in my drunken stupor.
"What do you want?" he asked just as I shut the door behind him, along with the curtains of the room.
I still wasn't too steady upon my feet with the intoxication of the alcohol still over my head. But I knew that I needed an answer for what I'd seen for it was eating at me, every minute feeling like a wasted one with Ishaani living in the danger of being betrayed.
"We need to talk," I told him curtly and I was surprised at how steady my voice was in spite of the fact that my knees felt like it would wobble.
There was a purpose present in my mind along with a corrosive hatred for Chirag, who I was so sure had been making out with someone else in the park the previous night. I had to save Ishaani from him at any cost, I knew. Should I be right, I knew that the heartbreak would be paramount for her to take, but I knew that it was for her own good.
"Then shoot. I have a busy day ahead," Chirag replied in the same cold tone and even in the haze of my drunkenness I could sense that he did not like being held up and in my presence just like I didn't like being in his anymore.
Our dislike for each other was mutual.
"Where were you the previous night?" I asked, getting straight to the point. Unfortunately, I slurred.
"I don't see why that's any of your business, really," he replied tartly, raising his eyebrows coldly at me as though acknowledging the fact with extra interest that I was drunk.
"It is my business because this concerns Ishaani," I shot back defensively, my voice firm this time.
And there was something about my tone that caught his attention. Maybe it was because he sensed that something was coming his way as I noticed his eyes twitch in that moment, as though taken aback. But either way, his face relaxed. He only gave me a disinterested answer in return.
"Well, in that case, I was working in my office till one in the morning," he said and I couldn't help but scoff openly.
"Really? You were working your way with a woman at the park from what I know. Since when did that become your office?" I questioned him scathingly, both of us now glaring daggers at each other.
"I don't know what you're talking about," replied Chirag simply as he broke our dagger-match, sounding as cool as a cucumber even though his eyes were a give-away about his temper that seemed to be rising in the quiet.
"I saw you, Chirag! At the park last night! So you can stop lying," I exclaimed, and Chirag gave me a deadpan look that only spelt disdain all upon it. He looked like he dearly regretted his decision to listening to me in the first place.
"Its clearly evident that you've been drinking too much that you've begun hallucinating in the day as well," he remarked acidly and this time, it was my turn to grit my teeth and swallow my temper down as I came up with a better response. I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of turning my tables upon me, not when I was so convinced of his infidelity.
"Oh really, so that's how you're going to play it?" I asked and he actually gave me a sympathetic smile as though I'd lost my senses. I was emotionally overworked and drunk, I admit, but my senses were as acute as ever.
"You can come to my office and verify. You'll have around thirty employees who can vouch for me being in the office till eleven in the night and four of them were there till midnight. The watchman can verify my story for being in the office at one in the morning," he spoke aloud and it took me a good two minutes to think whether what he was saying actually had any weight to it or whether he was just trying to bluff his way out of it.
"They're your employees," I said pointedly and both of us knew what I was trying to imply.
He could so very easily just buy them out to falsely testify for him. And the fact that he was actually ready to let me verify it was in itself fishy enough when he first told me about it.
"There's the CCTV footage too if you want. I can take you to my office right now. What time was it that you saw me at?" he asked and I gave him a grundging reply.
"Around nine," I said and he instantly smiled. I did not like that smile.
"Well, then in that case, you even need a CCTV footage because I was with Sharman at a restaurant. He needed my advice on a couple of things. So you can clarify it with him. We'd just finished dinner around then and I was on the way back to my office. The CCTV footage you can see at the same time as well. I cannot obviously vouch for the roadside pedestrians who might have seen my car, but you can ask the guy who sells ice-creams by the park. He knows me very well by face. If I'd have come there last night, I'm sure that he'd have seen me," he explained further, and I was left spellbound.
I could easily see what must have caught Ishaani's fancy when it came to Chirag - he was an exceptional speaker with a convincing prowess I haven't come across till before. For a moment there he'd even convinced me (in yet another haze of my alcohol that just kept telling me to punch at his nose and get the job done with), but the moment sense kicked in, the stupor broke alongside.
I was a tough cookie to crack, Mota Babuji always told me.
"If you think that I'm not going to verify it, you're thoroughly mistaken," I told him icily and I was happy to see that the smile was wiped away from upon his face.
And that in itself made me smile as my eyes began to droop momentarily with the thirst of sleep. The alcohol hadn't been enough to put me to sleep the previous night since the bottle was a medium sized one. Thankfully the other bottle is a much larger one... I think I'll need to try that.
Err sorry, where was I? Oh yes, Chirag.
"I know you will. Why won't you, when you've just been finding for things that'll create an even bigger rift in between Ishaani and myself?" he took a dig at me with the question and I couldn't help but gasp in spite of myself as my heart squirmed uncomfortably, knowing the slight triumph it did feel. I did not like being one of those people, but I was human too at the end of the day. There was only this much I could do for being selfless.
"All I care about is Ishaani's happiness. And I'm not going to let her marry someone who's just using her for her money," I shot back angrily, letting go of my calm facade.
I don't know whether it was the alcohol or just me needing a vent out, but I now realize that I shouldn't have done that. But fortunate or not, something seemed to flare up within Chirag the moment I said this and just like me, he seemed to lose his cool to.
"For someone coming from the background you do, you're brains seem to run too fast," he retorted back heatedly and all I did was waggle a finger at him.
"I'm warning you, Chirag. Stay away from her, because if I find evidence that it was really you last night, I'll make you pay hell for it," I threatened as coldly as I could and he retreated in spite of himself. I meant every word that I did threaten him with. Nobody messed with Ishaani and walked away from me without paying the price for it.
"Is that a threat?" he asked him, his voice suddenly gone flat even though I could hear it quiver slightly with something I couldn't place exactly. And it was in moments like those that I hoped that I wasn't drunk just so that I could pick up on things much better like I would when I'm sober.
"That's a promise. I'm not going to let you use Ishaani for whatever the hell it is that you're using her for," I continued with, but unlike the previous time, he stood his ground with a defiant look upon his face.
"Really? Like I don't know what your motives are," he sneered and I felt my fingers curl into fists. It was taking me great restraint to not slap that stupid smirk off from his face and the raging effects of the spirit only seemed to inflame my feelings and brashness all-the-more.
"I've been loving Ishaani ever since I first saw her when I was nine. So if you're trying to insinuate that my motive for doing this is to make her my own, then hell yeah that's my motive! I love her and I'm willing to do anything to make her my own, no matter whether I have to break this relationship off for her own good or sacrifice myself for her," were the exact words I used I think and Chirag gasped suddenly.
A gasp that made my blood go cold.
I immediately tried to think upon what I'd just said and I realized how exactly ill-phrased it was. I didn't mean it that way and it was the alcohol that made me go a little more reckless but the damage was done anyway and I couldn't do anything about it. All that I could pray for was that things didn't worsen up from this point forth. I should have known better.
"And what makes you think that she'll love you?" he shot back and I could see now that even though he tried to remain calm, his temper was now reaching saturation point now. I couldn't have been any more pleased about it than I already was.
"Today marks the 13th year of our friendship. Our friendship's base has always been trust and love. She may not love me like the way I do but she trusts me with her eyes closed," I told him and I could feel the pride gush into my heart at the thought of how much she trusted me even till this date in spite of whatever happened.
But Chirag had to go out there and short-live my happiness.
"Today's a Friday. Friday and 13, never a good combination. Don't be so overconfident upon a trust that's long since been replaced," he spoke in a silent warning and I felt my heart shiver momentarily as his eyes flared up.
"I'm her best friend-" I begin futilely as he he cut me off for the first time since our conversation began.
"And I'm her fiance. If she fell in love with me and trusts me like the way she does, there must be a reason behind it," he said and I suddenly let out a mirthless round of laughter that seemed to have frightened him just as much as it frightened me.
"I don't see that trust anywhere right now. She's with me all the time and hasn't taken a good look at you in four days," I taunted as I saw his face go red.
Yep, he'd lost his temper as he let the facade down, but what he said next left me terribly uneasy as every pore of my body seemed to erupt in a burst of goosebumps the next moment.
"She's emotionally distraught and I know that she needs time. That's how she copes with things. And it's not like you don't know how her psychology works now, do you? You did the same thing to her when you left Sydney and she sought her solace with me at that time. It's just a little karma," he added and I shut my eyes, feeling my world go dark momentarily. Not because of the alcohol but because of the weight of what he'd just said.
The realization of how true it was and the sudden suffocating thought that what if...
What if Chirag hadn't entered her life at all?
The thought was too much to take as all the possibilities of a future with Ishaani and myself together and happy flashed right through my eyes in just a few seconds. It was too much to take as I felt my heart ache and ache, until my restraint over my broken heart cracked. I let loose all the pieces of my bleeding heart as I delivered the final blow. I killed that image with my own hands with what I spoke next.
"It's not karma, it's you hoodwinking her by taking advantage of her emotional turmoil! And I will not let you do that any further! I will not let you exploit her weaknesses like this! She's lived all her live in the fear that she'll be abandoned by all the people she loves just because she's never going to be good enough for anyone ever... That they'll all leave her because she's a stain in the name of an illegitimate child... That because she's got more of black than red to love about her and no matter what she does, she's never going to be loved and is never going to be good enough for anyone to love her that way and be with her by her side always... She'd lived half of her life in the fear that she'll die alone and loveless and I'm not going to let you trample upon her by exploiting her weakness in the sickest way possible!"
Chirag stared at me in stunned disbelief as these were the exact words that I used.
"Wait, what? That's her deepest weakness? That's what she's afraid of - that I'll leave her because she's not good enough and she'll always be loveless because of the tag she's been born with?" he asked, his voice suddenly different. It'd gone soft, and that seemed to send me into a new wave of panic. This was not what I meant to say at all! It was Ishaani's most intimate secret! And she'd trusted me and only me with it! And I'd broken her trust and sold her out so disgustingly, to Chirag no less!
"I shouldn't have said that... I shouldn't have said that..." was all I could weakly whispered to myself as Chirag came back into focus, his face suddenly taut.
"I can't believe that you just sold her out like that. Are you sure that you even love her, or is she just like some kind of trophy for you to keep? Just like that degree you've taken the whole house upon your head for, is she another conquest of yours to just prove that the servant can get anything he wants in life as long as he knows how to manipulate?" he spat out and I grit my teeth in anger! That leech!
"I don't know who the hell you think yourself to be, but let me make one thing very clear to you. I love her and I'm going to stick by her side no matter what. So if you want to accept that, accept it with grace. If not, get the hell out of our lives and as far away as you can because your presence can never bring the two of us any happiness. Only problems and differences," I yelled at him finally, losing my nerve.
I don't know why I did, but the whole thing just riled me up. And for the first time, I realized what it felt like to be manipulated because that little moment there was an impeccable play on the same art of manipulation that I've been warning Ishaani since long along. And I did not like that at all.
"That's not going to happen. She's going to marry me," remarked Chirag coolly as he casually walked towards the door. We both knew that he was walking away with the upper hand.
"If you think that's going to work with me, it isn't. You haven't given me proof yet. And as long as I'm not convinced, I'm not going to let her marry you either. Not at any cost," I emphasized as Chirag stopped in his tracks and turned to stare at me in challenge. Both of us stared at each other in lethal silence for a whole minute before Chirag finally cleared his throat and spoke.
"Get sober and be there at my office by nine then."
And even before I could say anything else, he walked out of the room with his expression as unreadable like always. I really wonder at times what did Ishaani really like in him that she fell for him so madly. But whatever we spoke in the room this morning, Chirag and I, only convinced me all the more about why he wasn't suited for her at all. Not because of my obvious bias and because he called me a servant. No. Everyone calls me a servant, so why should Chirag be any different? It hasn't mattered then and it doesn't matter now. Like I always say, if only Ishaani or Mota Babuji would ever call me one...
But back to my point. His over-readiness for an alibi only left me more puzzled. It either meant that he was too confident about being innocent which in itself meant that he was actually working in his office the previous night and that I'd genuinely made a mistake. Or else he had something up his sleeve and was just playing cunning. So I knew that the only way I could call out on his bluff was by actually playing it because I could not read him at all as a person, leaving me uncomfortable.
And it's not even about just him this morning.
It's about the things that I'd imprudently let slip as well that's left me rattled up.
I had no right saying all of those things to him not just because they were rude or offending but because I had no right to tell him about Ishaani's weaknesses the way I so carelessly and insensitively did. They are her deepest secrets, the one she's ever so afraid to accept herself, and here I am so blatantly telling people about it all over the place. I had no right doing that and God forbid that Chirag tell her about it (which I know he will), she'll actually hate me for it. Because that's the only thing she's ever guarded this closely and her darkest secret that she's entrusted to me and only me.
I broke her trust this morning in my quest to "supposedly" protect her.
Where does that put me, really, especially when I was proved so deliriously wrong? Yes, I was wrong, after all. I spoke to Sharman, the ice-cream man and even saw the CCTV footage. All accounted for. How I wish that I could boast about what I saw was true afterall because deep down, my heart still says that I was correct and it was really him, but the evidence is overwhelming. It could not have been Chirag. And you know what the worst thing is? Chirag didn't even boast about it either. He just looked tired and asked me whether I'd gotten all my doubts cleared or if there was anything else that I needed to know.
It's almost evening now and I still haven't stopped feeling awkward and uneasy about the entire situation. I don't know whether he'll tell Ishaani about any of this or no, but I don't like the feeling in my guts. It's as though the storm hasn't gone by yet, but is biding its time until the final stroke. I can feel the ominous aura in the air and it's just making me feel sick with worry. Neither can I tell Ishaani about this nor can I do anything about Chirag. It's all too messed up and I know that if I go to do anything more, things will only get worse. I don't know how much worse can it get but I'm certain about one thing.
This is definitely the calm before the storm.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Epistle 100
Edited by LadyMeringue - 8 years ago
Book Talk
Cricket
