Epistle 80: The Last GoodbyeA/N: Hey there everyone! :D :D Here is the next update! :D :D
A small vent-out before you guys move on to the chapter because I'm in a mood for one, so do bear with me. I've finally completed Book 4, that too, before schedule so I'm really, really thrilled about it! *does a hoopla dance*
Also, with this update, it also marks my Perfect Week! Yay! (Err, HIMYM watchers, don't let your mind stray!) I'm not talking about Barney's Perfect Week, but my own one since I've given seven back-to-back updates in seven days. Yeah, I know, I need to give myself some rest now.
Also, since these seven updates have come at a price of emotionally draining me out to the point of an exhaustion, I'm going to take a two-day break before I begin with the Interludes, so hold your horses of expectations before you unleash them upon me.
I think I've blabbered quite a lot now. Not keeping y'all any longer,
Happy Reading! :D :D
Ranveer and Ishaani sat in the car in silence, one of the driversescorting them to the airport. The preparations were done - passport, ticket, visa, hand documents all stowed away into his haversack and all of his clothes and accessories neatly arranged in his suitcase. Goodbyes were made at home as Kailash and Amba both kissed their son goodbye, tears and words of advice being exchanged during the last few minutes, along with heaps and heaps of love and blessings.
Ranveer touched both Harshad and Falguni's feet, who in turn gave him their blessings and asked him to take care of themselves. Nothing was exchanged with Ishaani because she was going to be accompanying him to the airport, and would be the only one doing so. Kailash and Amba would be leaving the household an hour after Ranveer left, and had exchanged their own share of last thoughts and words with the other couple. There were the good times and the bad times, but the pros outweighed the cons and the departing couple had only gratitude to exchange at the end of it all.
Ranveer walked up to Baa and touched her feet, but like was to be expected, all he got in return was a scornful look before she retracted her feet away from him. But it didn't matter. He was setting out to do what he was destined to do. He was setting out to conquer destiny itself. He simply smiled and left home with Ishaani, who remained silent throughout the time of the final goodbyes being said. He could see her pinch herself to not cry, but he couldn't bring himself up to scold her for it. It was the first time he knew that this was the only thing that would help her be in control. Because if she cried today, he'd cry too and would simply run back home and forget that the past three weeks of his life had even happened.
Ranveer and Ishaani avoided looking at each other throughout the entire journey and stared at the sky that was a dull grey in spite of the summer spell that was going on. It looked like it would rain any minute but the probability seemed less. It never rained in October, really. But why wouldn't it rain today? The words once spoken carelessly returned back to both of them as they stared at the gloomy sky in anxiety - Whenever it rains out of season, it means that God is crying upon us.
And God had every reason to cry upon them today.
Ishaani turned her gaze away from the glass and noticed Ranveer staring out of the window. She gently let her fingers brush upon his hand and the reaction was instantaneous. Ranveer turned to look at her, looking lost for words. Her touch had zapped him out from his line of thoughts. But what was to be said or done next, they didn't know.
It took both of them tremendous courage to look at each other and flash a nervous smile when all their hearts wanted to do was burst in pain and agony of the separation that lay ahead. What kind of game was God playing with them? Why was the cost of achieving something in life so much? Ranveer knew that he was doing it all for Ishaani and yet there hadn't been a single moment since the previous night when he hadn't asked himself whether the trouble they were both taking and the amount of sacrifices they were making were worth it.
Ishaani looked at Ranveer and knew that she was doing it all for him so that he got a future that he deserved - not to just be constrained to being a driver or a driver's son for life as some kind of a stain or a tag that he had to live and die with. No man deserved to live with a tag, and no one knew that better than herself. Just like how he had never gave her the tag of being an illegitimate child for as long as he was with her, she would do the same for him now.
That was her most intimate weakness as a break-point, and she knew that anyone in the world would not use it as a leverage point in the world, it would be Ranveer. And that was something she blindly trusted him for. Just like how he trusted her to never see him as a servant, being his most intimate weakness as a break-point. And intimate weapon only they could destroy each other with.
But she would do anything to change the world's perspective on him. And if that meant letting him go like a bird who was learning to fly, she would. No matter how many sacrifices she would have to make for him. In the end, it was worth it all.
"This is it," whispered Ranveer as the car came to a halt in front of the Terminus 2 at the Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
Ishaani snapped out from her line of thoughts and nodded her head.
Be strong, Ishaani. Be strong. Don't cry. Don't cry. Bid him a farewell with a smile. Your best smile.
They got down from the car, the driver fetching a trolley for Ranveer's suitcase. Both the friends stood in silence as they saw tearful goodbyes being exchanged between families and friends and lovers. Their eyes fell upon one of the couple at the entrance of the humongous airport who were exchanging one last kiss before they parted away.
"Do you think we'll meet someone one day, fall in love and wonder ... You know, this is it?" asked Ishaani absentmindedly while Ranveer sighed. Oh how he longed to tell her that he'd had this moment back when he was nine... When he'd seen her for the first time.
No! , roared his heart at him. Not now! You must be strong not just for your sake, but for hers, too!
"I don't know... Have you?" he asked, looking at Ishaani with a curious smile.
"No..." she whispered as she turned to look at him and he gasped.
The dam had broken; the tears now began to leave her eyes in quick succession. Ranveer quickly cupped her cheeks as the tears brimmed up in his eyes as well, the suffocating moment of their farewell making it difficult for him to breathe. Talking was far, far away.
"Why are you crying?" he asked her stupidly and Ishaani couldn't help but smile at the childishness in his tone. Why was God doing this to them? Was this what a diamond had to go through to become what it finally became?
"I'm relieved to get shot of you at long last! Nobody to make fun of me or tease me or trouble me and crack all those lame jokes with me," she replied lamely and he gave her a half-hearted smile.
Well, this was it. The closing call had arrived. Now was the time to walk away before he lost control upon his emotions and himself. He could not let the facade down for both of their sakes. Atleast one of them had to remain strong.
He turned around to push his trolley away when Ishaani caught his wrist and pulled him back.
"Don't go na, Ranveer. Please?" she begged suddenly, her face suddenly ambushed by more tears betraying away from her eyes. Ranveer let go of the trolley and gulped slowly, not knowing how long was he going to be able to keep going like this till he didn't break down himself.
"Maybe I won't if you keep crying like this," whispered back Ranveer lovingly, his tone as soothing as it could be.
"I'm sorry, I just... I don't know-" mumbled Ishaani as she quickly wiped away the tears from upon her face not unlike a child ashamed to be caught like this. Ranveer caught her hand and pulled her into an embrace.
"Shhh, come here," he whispered into her ears as she held on to his tightly, her head upon his chest. She shut her eyes and took solace in the beats that she could hear his heart produce. The beats he swore would stop for her if anything were to happen to her.
Why was she thinking things like that?
"Look at me," whispered Ranveer as they separated and he now wiped away the stray tears from open her face. He still hadn't let go of his own. She nodded her head as she met his gaze with a ferocity that disarmed him momentarily. He continued in a strong voice, hoping to give her some of his own failing strength. Better her than him.
"This is not the end, Ishaani. This is a new beginning for both of us," he whispered positively and Ishaani managed to return a weak smile in spite of herself.
How could he fake a strength he didn't feel at all, was all she could wonder. What was he made of, really? Thick-skinned, would be his answer if she ever asked him this. We servants have really thick skins, you know! We'll bear all the pain but won't let a crease fall upon the faces if the people we love.
"I know," whispered back Ishaani, lost in the thought of all those moments when he'd use this as a defense when Baa was tell him things and would call him names.
Not anymore, though. Times were about to change.
"Promise me something," asked Ranveer of her suddenly and she frowned at him for a moment, wondering what he had in mind. He urged her to reply in the affirmative and she did.
"Anything," she whispered and Ranveer nodded his head seriously. He took a long, deep breath before speaking next, his voice exuding the worry his eyes didn't fail projecting.
"Promise me that you'll take good care of yourself. You'll be my strong girl and learn to stand upon your feet. Promise me that you'll learn to be happy and you will do what your heart says. Promise me that you'll take care of Mota Babuji and Falguni Maa and make them proud. Promise me that you will not let anything hold you back. Promise me that when I come back, you'll meet me the same way like this. Promise me that you will trust your heart and help it make you see through this."
"Isn't that a lot of promises?" asked Ishaani finally after listening to him in complete silence and with the fullest of her attention. Ranveer gave her an annoyed look.
"Ishaani-"
"I promise," replied Ishaani hastily before he got more rattled up and Ranveer relaxed. But before he could fall back completely, Ishaani seized her chance at extracting a couple of reassurances from him as well in the name of promises.
"And I want you to promise me something as well," she shot at him and he nodded his head. He knew it somewhere deep down in his heart that this would be coming the moment he'd made her take those promises. And he was ready for them.
"Go ahead," replied Ranveer gently and Ishaani continued without wasting another minute.
"Promise me that you'll take absolute care of yourself. Nobody is going to come to stuff food down your throat or pamper you or anything of that sort. Promise me that you'll not behave like an idiot and keep getting into trouble the way you do with me. The world isn't like me. Promise me that you'll give in your life and soul and work as hard as you can to make me proud. Promise me that you'll use your head and not just your heart to make you see through this. Promise me that you'll come back for me."
"I promise," replied Ranveer with a smile upon his face. This was exactly what he'd been expecting. Was there anything he didn't know about her already? And how fast did she speak through so much, too!
God, how much she talked and loved to talk! How he'd miss all this! No, don't go there, you idiot!
"And promise me you won't watch those stupid movies or get drunk or do anything stupid," spoke Ishaani that managed to bring Ranveer out of his pensive consideration. He shook his head like a ruffled puppy.
"Promise. And even you promise me that you won't run away from the house like this. I won't be there to find you any longer," he spoke with an undertone of worry and she bit her lip.
"I promise," she said rather hesitantly when Ranveer shot her a stern look for not giving him a response for five whole minute.
"Good girl," he whispered and Ishaani smiled. She looked at her watched for the need of a distraction and gasped. Half an hour had already elapsed since they'd arrived at the airport. It was a good thing that they'd decided to leave the house in such a way that Ranveer could be four hours early at the airport.
"Go, it's time," spoke Ishaani tensely and Ranveer stared at her in surprise.
Was this happening for real?
"I don't want to go. Can't we go back home and forget this ever happened?" said Ranveer suddenly as he looked at the entrance of the airport as though it was causing him some kind of mortal agony. Ishaani hissed at him as she realized that he was having another episode of cold feet and knew the best way to tackle him.
"I'll kick you into the airport if you refuse to go. Don't make it difficult for both of us," she reprimanded reproachfully and Ranveer nodded his head halfheartedly, the dam of his emotions too much to contain as they treacherously escaped through his eyes.
Both of them hugged each other for the last time before they wiped away the tears from upon each other's face and sighed. This was it. Ranveer took command upon his trolley and begun making his way towards the entrance as Ishaani made her way towards the car slowly, regretting the amount of things she wanted to tell him but couldn't.
Walking down their own paths, Ishaani sighed tiredly as every step away from him meant her essence being robbed from her a little more. She couldn't do this. But she had to. When she'd chosen his happiness over hers, she knew the price that she had to pay for it. And now that the decision was made, she wouldn't step back. But there was that insane surge in her heart to turn back one last time and get a last glimpse of him.
Ishaani turned out to see that Ranveer had turned around the same time as she did. And in that moment, she knew that Ranveer wanted to run back to her and hug her as much as she did for they both didn't know when they would be able to fall into each other's embrace that consumed all of their fears and insecurities that only gave them the most radiant of joys and peace. They didn't know when they'd be able to loop their hands within each other's and walk all around the place without the slightest worry in their minds.
They didn't know when they'd be able to see each other again.
But they both also knew that they had to be strong for each other and a moment's worth of weakness would be enough to wash away all the hardwork that they'd put in to create the most strongest of facades. Both of them knew it was a show of strength, but neither of them had the courage to see through it for they knew what lay underneath it. But they had to embrace each other one last time. They couldn't leave it at that.
Ranveer ran towards her, not caring about the fact that several onlookers were now watching the spectacle in interest. But neither of them cared about that. All that mattered was each other in that moment. And that last eyelock with all the passion and intensity they could muster and willingly agreed to drown into like there was no tomorrow. That last eyelock that they were going to cherish as a memory as their hearts thumped wildly against their ribs. That last eyelock that had the strength to set the world on fire. That last eyelock that would be their last moment together.
That last moment of reassurance. The last moment of them. That last moment of love. They didn't need words anymore... They never really did to begin with. All of their deepest conversations had been just with their eyes, their smiles, and the silence between those words. Kisses of reassurance and care didn't matter, not when they'd shared a thousand of them through their eyes.
"I'll miss you so much..." whispered Ishaani into his ears; the words that summed up everything she wanted to tell him.
"I'll miss you too..." he whispered back hoarsely, their heads now falling upon each other's tiredly as their eyes shut in a silent prayer for the well-being of the other.
Ranveer brought his lips up to leave a lingering kiss upon her forehead as he wiped away the tears from her face. Three words lingered upon both of their lips yet those three words stood different for both of them. But the emotion behind them the same.
I love you, was what he yearned to tell her, but he knew this wasn't the time. But if not now, then when? When you become something in life, came the answer from his brain. Sigh, for once, his mind was right even though his heart tugged at him violently to listen to its silent pleas that eventually faded away in nothingness. For once, he chose to listen to his mind instead of his heart and he just hoped that it was the right decision.
Come back soon, was what she yearned to tell him, but she knew that if she told him this, it would hold him back because all he'd worry about would be returning back to her. But if not now, then when? When he's achieved what he's set out to do, came back the answer from her heart. Sigh, for once, her heart was right even though her brain protested in indignation. What a foolish call! , roared her mind but the pleas of her heart silenced away the arguments of her mind. For once, she chose to listen to her heart instead of her mind and she just hoped that it was the right decision.
And yet, both the set of words were bound by one emotion - love. There was no black or white to what kind of love this was, but it was love, oh yes. The only difference that remained was where one showed his love through his words, the other showed her love through her actions. He knew where he stood; she didn't. Not when she'd so comfortably taken shelter in the arms of her friend that she refused to see anything beyond that.
And as they separated, both of them smiled at each other. Their customary smile. Her smile that his eyes would devour but would touch his heart in a balm like no other, the twinkle in her eyes that reminded him so uncannily of the stars he loved to admire. His smile that she savoured like the sweetest of elixirs that would stir her soul with the deepest of emotions with the twinkle that his eyes gained whenever he smiled at her liked that.
Ishaani tiptoed and kissed his forehead as he shut his eyes. They separated slowly and Ranveer opened his eyes to take in one last sight of her before he whispered a soft 'goodbye' in her ears. She whispered back to him slowly.
"Until we meet again," she whispered back to him slowly and he nodded his head.
Eyes were swollen and cheeks were puffy but they had to do what they had to do. Ranveer sluggishly made his way towards his abandoned baggage and walked into the airport, turning back to look at Ishaani one last time, drinking in her sight greedily while she did the same.
And it was the last time they smiled at each other like that for a long, long time.
As Ishaani sat in the car and Ranveer at the departure gate, both of them stared at the sky as it now began to rain. Their own tears remained firmly printed against their cheeks as they stared at the heavens and wondered whether even God was crying at their plight, heavy as their hearts were. All that they could think about was how different their life was going to be without each other.
And as Ishaani walked back towards Ranveer's room back at the Parekh Mansion, and Ranveer across the air-bridge and into his flight, the walk made them feel empty somewhere. For so many years, they'd been two independent people who didn't need a friend because loneliness was their strongest pursuit. But after having each other in their lives, it wasn't like that anymore. They needed to share every moment of their life with each other, good or bad. They simply needed each other by their side at all times. And only one thought crossed both of their minds mutually at this conjecture.
The pain of departing from your best friend is perhaps, the worst kind.
13th October, 2007:
He's... gone.
Wow, I can't believe it. He's gone. Obviously he was going to go, but maybe there was some part of me that hoped that he wouldn't have to. I'm sitting in his room right now and writing my diary, because... well, it feels comforting. Like he's still here with me. Kaka and Kaki have just left too. So the room is now empty. Just with the memories of the past. And how many of them!
It was here that I'd first made friends with Ranveer. The same room when I'd found him in the closet, unconscious. He'd saved my life and nearly lost his own, that idiot. I remember how I was bringing food and medicines for him and then all this had happened. This room was the first place where we'd discovered our mutual love for butterscotch ice-cream. Though I think he liked strawberry more, but he prefers to have this because it's my favourite. This is the same room when I'd come to wake him up at midnight to celebrate his birthday. And okay, I'll admit it - I stole the key to the terrace that night.
This is the same room where I'd come to feed Ranveer when I'd damaged his cycle. The same room where I'd given Ranveer that stray puppy I found on the road, and the poor soul was thrown out of here and was made to sleep upon the terrace just for my sake. And he even willingly did it. The same room where we'd had our ugly argument before Ranveer's accident at the factory. Wow, he'd just lost his will to live back then, no? The same room where he spent the next three months wishing for death. The same room where he'd finally found life one night and I'd embraced his pains and made it my own. The same night when he made those two masterpieces. And this is the same room when he first learnt to stand upon his feet again. That is one moment I'll never forget in my life.
The same room where I'd once left him a note saying how he was the best thing that ever happened to me. The same room where locked him up in the closet as a kind of revenge and had to pay such a huge price for it. The same room where I let myself fall weak in front of him just so that he'd forgive me and embrace me back into his life. The same room where I'd put him off the sleep for the first time when he got drunk. And the same room where I found him drunk on his birthday. The same room where we'd promised each other over samosas and tea that we'd complete Papa's incomplete legacy. That is what Ranveer has set out to accomplish.
The same place where I'd taken care of him after he'd fainted in the parking lot and was laughed upon by the guests when Papa introduced him to everyone. The same room where we shared all of our deepest fears and insecurities with each other. The same room where I must have fallen asleep countless number of times apart from the store room and the moment my eyes would open to the surroundings of my own room the next day, I'd know that he must have carried me back to my room without even the slightest of doubt every single time.
The same room where I found him crying and moaning and told him that I'd done the impossible and so had he. The same room where we shared the lightest of moments and the darkest of hours. The same room that was branded as a servant's quarters but harboured the eleven most precious years of my life with the one person who meant the world to me. None of that would come back.
It was indeed the dusk of a glorious era.
Constructive criticism will be more than welcome and sorry for any typos. :D :D
Next chapter:
Interlude 15
Edited by LadyMeringue - 8 years ago
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