AnYa Hum Tum Diaries: 'Realization It Is'

Anant

Oh you my so called Dear Diary….

Can u for once just stop being just a plain book with blank pages and have some wings to urself or even get urself into some action….U being my dearest heart buddy just sit there n laugh at me like mohan bhaiya while I rent n pout here all the goofiness I how smartly indulged myself in!!!! Great…..simply great!!!...Grrr!!!! Like srsly….can someone just spank me…knock off my in over drive brain cells and chop of that silly tongue of mine!!! Is this why I always thot I was oh so intelligent??? Ya right….time to get real Anant….

Gadha….ullu ka patha….bewaakoof….awal darje ka namakool…who is afterall not so "cool"...Is duniya ke jitney bhi bure khitaab he…sab mujhe milne chahiye!!! Wat ujwal kaam I have done!! Closed the doors on my shining fate on its face??? Like really….how absurd can I get??

Navya was just a "YES' away from me but no….Anant thinks weddings are oh so boring!!! Navya was waiting at the lawn for my impending footsteps towards her but no…I seem to take a snoring sleep and dread about the nightmares of missing her instead…My yearning to see n meet Navya were on the verge of ending for God was being so kind to me seeing my sulking heart…..but no Anant no!!...U just seem so much interested in prolonging ur wait n get urself rather under scanner with hitler dad!! WOW…terrific!!!

Gosh!!!!!!...Now wat??? Wat do I do...I made myself a laughing stalk in bro eyes n he seemed bzy enjoying this sight of goofy Anant so I really have no hopes from him to help me….Infact he is right….I have spilled the milk….so I gotta clean it up as well….but the question is how??

I was in such a dreamland writing my love a letter last night only to be awaken into reality in the morning!! Wat is this?? Some kinda spree of reality jolts or wat?? Yesterday it was Nimi….n today…..Mom..

Ahhh!!! I need to get back somehow….anyhow into this trip…..no matter wat it takes..

Anant beta….lag jaa kaam pe….and Navya …my love….I promise it'll be a flick of ur eye….coz I am on my way to u my pagal ladki!!!😳😳

Anant signing off

31/08/11

Navya

Awww….wat realization filled day it has been today…Self and outer…both!! As I wrote my very first letter to Anant today…I realized how much there was that I had to tell him…How much I miss sharing all this in person with him…..how much of his words of advice are going a miss from my hands and just how much he means to me as all so much is happening around me.

Life has truly taken quite a turn ever since my landing into Kanpur. I begin to realize that the Daadi that I knew in Mumbai is not the Daadi I can recognize here in Kanpur. There she was vivacious….enigmatic….a bold figure holding compassion n rigidity in equality……..but here she is nothing but clustered up cat…who remains so secluded….so restrainted in her isolation….as if she purposely wants to pull off from everyone….as if….she is an alien amongst the known ones….Its so depressing to see her in this state…

Renu I have come to know n realize is not as strong a woman as she poses herself to be….She is not afterall the happily married woman I have witnessed so far…She is infact a tormented woman who has been enduring pain n suffering from God knows how long while she put a pretentious self in front of others. Oh God…I can even believe how disgusting antics Ravi bhaiya has…and his thots are even more gross…Taiji is only digging her grave in the name of her lovely son but I guess I really cant just blame him entirely….for his upbringing itself is done in such absurd thots n behavior. Taiji's beliefs in being a gal's family n a boy's family bring utter shame in my eyes for I now feel unwantedly related to them. Her thots and Ravi bhaiya's thots creeped me out at first about how other families think…esp Anant….but that just indeed brought a deeper realization of how wonderful a human being Anant is. His love for his family…his respect towards the elders …..his care n concern for his loved ones truly shows his genuine-ness n sheer dedication towards good values.

I really feel like thanking Maa more than feeling sorry for her failed plan….coz her idea of having me away from Anant only made me soak myself in greater strengths of love with him. The depth of this love only seems to increase as I realize how gem of person Anant is and how lucky I am to have him in my life. Yes…he is impulsive…sometimes an idiot as he calls me…but the moment he realizes his true conscience….he shines out my hero surprising me n sweeping me off my grounds that I stand on.

Ohhh…I cant even begin to put in words the amount of yearning I have to meet my hero…my love…Anant. Why cant I just install some rocket science in these clocks and have it move forward to after 6 weeks??? Why cant these scientists just invent some kinda time machine so I can transport myself from Kanpur to Mumbai within a nick of a time?? I just so wish to be in the comfort of his arms and tell all so much that I want to tell him……of how much more I have begun to yearn for him…how much more I have begun to admire him….how much more I have begun to respect n adore him and how much more I have simply begun to love him!!!!!!!😳😳

Oh god…..6 weeks….end up already plsss…

Navya signing off

31/08/11