My First Piece of Writing on PREMEER Part51 Pg149

My First Piece of Writing on PREMEER

The story revolves not only around premeer but it also portrays prem n heer's life individually.

A note from the writer: If u ppl have any questions, explanation regarding any part,then plz let me know ur comments criticize all are most welcome.

LETS START!

INTRODUCTION: The story continues from 19june09.In this piece of writing i will be explaining u the story n there will be dialogues. The story is in parts.

Nihaal's house

Lalit n Gaya3 entered in Nihaal's house n saw Veera dead, they were extremely shocked n could'nt understand anything for sometime then Prem entered. He could'nt believe his eyes, Veera in bridal dress totally burnt lying dead. Gaya3 started talking wid Veera told her to wake up n said "veera aankhein khol meri bachi yeh kya ho gaya hai tujhe? aaj subha hi meri tumse baat huwi thi tab sab theek tha phir achanak se kya hogaya?" Lalit went to Nihaal n asked "yeh sab kaise ho gaya aaj to tum log itne khush the phir yeh sab".Gaya3 was constantly moving Veera n Lalit was crying n talking to Nihaal. Nihaal said "i came home thinking that all is fine but when i came i heard veera's cries i tried to save her, brought her outside kitchen, she talked wid me n said that i love u a lot. Woh mere moo se sunna chahti thi ke main usse pyar karta hoon par usne mujhe kehne ka mauqa nahin diya. Main usse nahin bacha paya" he cries a lot.

Heer arrived in time to hear all what Nihaal said, she was shocked to see Veera in such a bad state. Prem saw her maa trying to wake Veera n Lalit crying he heard Nihaal's story, he was shocked to see Veera, had anger n tears in his eyes, he didnt let Nihaal touch Veera. He took Nihaal n went outside. Prem was constantly beating Nihaal, after sometime Heer realized then she went outside n tried to save Nihaal. Prem saw Veera's dead body going n Lalit, Gaya3 after it, he went there n tried to handle maa who then fainted. There was a tragic scene of Nihaal n Heer in which they both cry n Nihaal pours his heart in front of Heer and at that time there were only Heer n Nihaal, Prem wid Veera's dead body n Lalit, Gaya3 left.

Veera's dead body arrives home n all are in utter shock then rona dhona melodrama hota hai. All in white dresses, Heer comes home changes dress into white then sits near Veera's body. She tries to console Gaya3 but Gaya3 like statue says that dont even dare to sit here, your brother have killed my daughter. "Tumhare bhai ne meri bachi ki jaan li hai" Heer cries says "maa" in pain then rests on Gaya3's shoulder. Veera's brothers n Lalit comes n takes Veera's body, Gaya3 goes out of control but all women including Heer n Meher try to control her. All rituals are done n they return home, Gaya3 hugs Lalit n cries a lot n Prem goes in his room.

Prem's room

Then Heer says: apne aap ko sambhaalo prem agar tum hi aise karoge to maa bauji ke aansoon kaun pochega? yahan tum itne dukhi ho aur wahan nihaal bhaiya...

Prem interrupts "heer plz mere saamne us shaks ka naam mat lo jo is sab ka zimedaar hai, is dard ka zimedaar hai"

Heer: "lekin prem"

Prem: heer plz mujhe akela chor do

Then Heer leaves da room

Heer, Meher scene in garden

Heer, Meher talk abt all that is happening,

Meher says "heer didi veera ki maut se to is ghar ki saari khushiyaan chali gai hain

Heer: "veera is ghar ki sab se laadli aur choti beti thi woh in sab logon ke chehre par muskurahat ki waja thi

Meher: "didi sab pehle jaisa kab hoga?"

Heer: "pata nahin mujhe chinta sirf maa ki hai woh apne aap ko kaise sambhaalengi?"

Then Lalit comes

Lalit: "heer gaya3 ka dukh waqt ke saath bhar jaaega par mujhe ek hi baat ka afsos hai, gaya3 aur prem aur baqi log bhi nihaal ko galat samajhte hain, nihaal ko veera ki maut ka zimedaar samajhte hain jo sahi nahin yeh tum aur main dono jaante hain"

Heer: " bauji aap abhi kisi se kuch mat kahiye is waqt sab mushqil daur se guzar rahe hain, jab dukh ke badal chat jaaen tab hum sach sab ko bata denge."

Precap: Gaya3 confesses to Heer that Sameer uska mohra tha Heer ke khilaaf, she tells Heer to leave Juneja house forever. Yeh sab baatein akele mein hoti hain.

All Juneja family members are in sorrow then lawyer comes, Lalit asks that why is he here? then Gaya3 says that i've called him, i want him to file case against Nihaal for killing my daughter, Lalit tries to explain her that its not true but Gaya3 doesnt listen to him then Prem comes from upstairs.

Prem says to lawyer that we dont want to file any case, you may leave n he leaves.

Gaya3: prem yeh tune acha nahin kiya, us aadmi ne hamari veera ko itna pareshaan kiya, us par haath uthaya aur phir use jala kar maar dala phir bhi tum uske haq mein ho kyun?

Prem: maa main kisi ke haq mein nahin hoon par case file karne se kya hoga? nihaal ki maar kha kar, apna bacha kho kar, veera ne adaalat ka darwaza khat khataya aur un insaaf waalon ne veera ko us ghar mein bhej diya jahan se hamein veera ki jali huwi laash mili.Veera ke zinda rehte use insaaf nahin mila to uski maut ke baad kya insaaf milega?

Then all are silence n they just cry! Lalit feels helpless after hearing Prem's dialogues, he sits on sofa n cries.

Veera's room

Heer enters, sits on bed n says to Gaya3 that "maa you've not had anything plz eat sumthing"

Gaya: jis maa ki bachi mar gai ho, jisne apni bachi ki jali huwi laash dekhi, jisne apni bachi ko dulhan ke jore mein aur phir kafan mein dekha woh kya kare?

Heer: aisa mat kaho maa, kuch kha lo, aapki tabiyat kharab ho jaayegi

Gaya3: mere bas mein kuch nahin, main apni bachi ko insaaf dilaane ke liye kuch nahin kar sakti.

Heer: maa yeh sach nahin, aap sachaai nahin jaanti

Gaya3: heer ab waqt hai ke main tumhein sachaai se agha karoon, sameer ki sachaai.

Heer looks puzzled

Gaya3: prem ke haathon koi accident nahin huwa aur use koi khatra nahin tha, sameer woh mohra tha jo maine tumhare khilaaf istamaal kiya.

She gets up n continues 'main tumhein apni beti ki tarhaan chahti thi par jab se veera ka dukh mere saamne aaya tab maine socha ke jis insaan ki behenon ko maine apni betiyon jitna pyar diya us ne meri bachi ko itni takleef di. Ek maa ek saas par haawi hogai, mujhe tumse nafrat hogai aur mere dimaag mein ek hi khayal tha tumein prem se door karna.'

Heer remain shocked for sumtime, could'nt say anything

Gaya3: aur ab jab meri bachi nahin rahi to main nahin chahti ke tum is ghar mein raho, prem ko chor kar chali jaao hamesha ke liye.

Heer: maa yeh aap kya keh rahi hain main prem ko chor kar kaise jaaon?

Gaya3: bas maine keh diya so keh diya

Heer is shocked goes at roof n thinks abt Gaya3 when she was good n when she was bad, she says that "i cant believe that maa ne itna bara khel racha, mujhe unhein samajhna chahiye ek maa hone k lihaaz se unhon ne aisa kiya magar ab jo unhon ne kaha woh nahin ho sakta, main prem ko chor kar kaise jaaon? hum dono ek doosre se pyar karte hain aur hum ek doosre ke bina nahin reh sakte. Mujhe prem ko sab sach batana hoga"

Heer comes from downstairs n feels unwell then she goes into bathroom n does vomiting!

Premeer scene

Prem is in his room lost in thoughts when Heer enters. Prem was in angry mood bcos of Nihaal n he doesnt properly talk wid Heer, he was in bad mood bcos he didnt took action against Nihaal as it was pointless still he was angry on himself.

Heer: prem mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai

Prem: heer plz agar nihaal ke baare mein tumhein kuch kehna hai to mujhe nahin sunna

Heer: jab tak tum meri baat nahin sunoge tab tak tumhein sachaai ka pata kaise chalega?

Prem: sachaai bas yahi hai ke veera ab nahin rahi aur uska zimedaar hai nihaal.

Heer: prem tum nihaal veera ke rishte ke baare mein nahin jaante

Prem: rishta! pati patni ka rishta hota hai pyar, bharose ki bunyaad pe, us ghar mein ek rishta nahin balke ek insaan aur hewaan saath rehte the

Heer remain still after hearing this from Prem

Heer: bas prem ab aur kuch mat kaho, bohot ilzaam laga diye tum ne mujh par aur mere bhai par, ab main aur nahin sun sakti.

Heer leaves but Prem held her

Prem: tumhein sunna hoga heer, aaj tak maine tumhari har baat maani hai aur tum yeh haqeeqat nahin bardaasht kar sakti.

He then leaves her arms

Heer leaves n Prem doesnt look at her when she looks at him, when Heer moves ahead Prem glances at her wid pain in eyes n Heer obviously was crying. Heer leaves house, Premeer mein dooriyaan shayad hamesha ke liye....ya shayad kuch waqt ke liye.....pata nahin!

yh .. even i think wt yu wrote is gonna happen ... lets see wt ur part 2 is gonna be like ? ! ;)

Yeh lag hi nhi raha k u wrote irt 1st time,i mean its fantastic n dis story shud cum in kis desh.wonderfull writing! gud going sweetheart.

Originally posted by: Crazy_94

Hey zehra ur story was too gud! u r really creative n shud b a writer i must say dat...desperately waiting 4 prt3,i m sure its gonna b grt,plz write more,its a request.