AnYa Hum Tum Diaries: Kahi Aag Toh Kahi Dhuan

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sajni786

@sajni786

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Anant

Dear Diary

I have had it…..I have just had enuf of this going back n forth with Navya….Wat really does she think I am…..I love her….yes…but I am not going to be her little puppy dog who she can maneuver n manipulate as n when she wants or likes. I am a human being God damn it….I have feelings…I have emotions….and they are normal ones as well….

Yes I admit I feel envious of that Amar dude….I admit seeing him….or even hearing about him twists each n every nerve in me and it aggravates all my sane brain cells to no extent…….but so??? Big Deal!!! I am a man and a man who is in love with this gal……who like every other man has a male ego and who like every other man has this possessive streak as well…..so????...IT IS FREAKIN NORMAL!!!!

Today when Ranbir showed me the other side of the coin in Navya's life….I realized my mistake….I realized that I may have been too harsh with her and I immediately set off to meet her during lunch time….risking yet again for her the wrath of papa. Honestly I was so ecstatic at the thot of meeting her that I left no stones unturned to see that beautiful smile on her face and grabbed with me a bouquet of roses and a sorry card. The excitement was completely revitalizing and I had begun building a castle of hope….of sweet moments that just those very thots were making me smile my jaws wide for eternity ….ahhh….the feeling was so sensational……buttt!!!!!!!!

Exactly……that's what my problem is…..everytime I build those castles of hope…..a huge "but" comes in between …..sometimes in the face of ritz….sometimes renu di…sometimes amar sir….sometimes this sometimes that….goshhh!!! I am just sooo very tired of all this.

Navya really has no time for me….and today she really had crossed her limits to shove it in my face. Infact today for the first time I not only felt defeated….but cheated as well. Navya went out with her boss for lunch??? Did I hear that right??? Since when has this boss become so close to her that she begun to have some personal moments with him??? Since when did boss's begin to give special treatment to their new joined employee aside from professional work??? Is this some kind of joke or am I being the fool in here?? Is Navya really the Navya I know…..my navya??? I hate to say this but shud I begin doubting on Navya's character??? I mean….is there something brewing between these 2 underneath my eye or m I missing something???

No….I really don't want to go this route of thots…..but tell me….wat do I do??? Navya compels me….pushes me in this gutter that I don't want to enter. When I called her just to confirm….to hear it directly from her about her whereabouts…..she didn't even care to tell me anything n instead simply hung up on me….I was shocked…..I was devastated. How cud she treat me like a neighborhood's dog??? No….this cant be happening…..she cannot be my Navya….NO ….NEVER!!!! Humph!!!!!!

Anant signing off

08/12/11

Navya

The environment….the building….the atmosphere and the people with books….each and every thing reminded me of my days that I so wonderfully spent there….each n every corner where I used to hang out with my friends…..every classroom….every bench….that canteen….that college….my college….my memories….ahhh !!! Nostalgia it was…..This is the place from where we all dispersed into our respective lives and this was the only place I knew wud bring us back…..together….the threesome …the 3 idiots that we had always been….Ritz …Appy and me!!!

Getting thru to Ritz wasn't going to be easy I knew….afterall….I had neglected (even if it was unintentional) her …..by best friend ….since childhood and I had been not open with her or even to Appy ever since I left college….I had never intended any of this….but it just kept happening. Time…situations….people…something or other always kept me occupied and I kept pushing my best friends away from me without even telling them the reason…Excuses they are I know….and they are not even fair excuses but just as Amar Sir said…..its never too late to explain urself….to open up with ur facts…ur truth coz as long as u are honest with urself…..there is always HOPE….hope for things to get better…hope for the clouds to move away so the sun cud shine bright n nice….hope in love…laughter n joy…..and so why not give this hope a chance!!!

Amar sir….I had not really known him but today…I felt n I cud see a good n a soft heart that was caged underneath his stern n rigid self. His not as bad as I had imagined him to be. Infact he seemed to be a man of principles…..of discipline and a man who knew well how to control the emotions of the heart and the thots of the mind. He truly became a guardian angel for me today. He not only guided me the path to a stress free life…..but also paved way for me release all that had piled up within me. I truly became indebted to him today…

Oh Anant…..I really cant wait to tell u wat all happened today….M sure u'd be as thrilled as I m to know that out of all peoples…..it was Amar Sir who dug me out from the mud this time….that he became the blessing angel for my patch up with my best friends!!! Cant wait to talk to u Anant!!

Navya signing off

08/12/11

Rab Raakha,

Shilpa 🤗

PS. On The Request of many readers, below are the links of all my previous posts for Navya