Firstly, Sorry for planning to keep this story 'on hold' . I really got confusedconfused d at myself for not writing better, then all your love, motivation, eagerness to see what will happen next in the story made me focus again & give you two updates. So enjoy!!
Part 16 - Enlightening!!
(Madhu's POV)
"Sultan... Sultan" I shake my hand in front of Sultan's face to turn his attention to me from the book he is reading.
"What?" he barks.
"Shhh... Don't shout, Dipali is sleeping" I remind him. We are in plane now returning back to India. Rishu came to see off us in the Airport. I felt so bad to leave him. I wanted to stay with him but I know I can't, not because my college's next term is starting in a week but because I need some clarity. Rishu told me to not get confused with any silly notion but I don't think it's silly or guilt or attraction but something different. Love? I don't know but surely my feelings for him is deepening, hard & strong. I do feel guilty for seeding the fear of marriage in his heart, I feel guilty for divorcing him. He was right, I should have tried to work out our marriage but even now I feel the thought of seeing my Rishu as my husband is unsettling. I thought if I divorce him, he will move on & get married to some other nice girl who will satisfy all his needs, who will love & care him. But no such thing happened. Rishu distanced himself from me, from his family, forgot his happiness, forgot to live his life, become a workaholic. I did this to him. To my Rishu?
"What the f**k is your problem, Brat?" Sultan snarls.
"I want to ask something to you?"
"What?"
"What are the symptoms of 'LOVE'?" I ask him softly
"Symptoms?" he looks at me with ill-concealed disgust.
"Yes."
"Okay. Listen to me carefully." he says & I nod & sit straight to listen intently.
"Dizziness"
"What?" I ask in shock.
"When you see the person you love you go week on your knees, you feel like you are floating or swimming, u go unsteady & lose your balance & that's why you keep hugging them. Do you have this symptom?" Sultan asks.
"I keep hugging him" I tell.
"Hmm... 'Fatigue' is also a symptom of love"
"Really?"
"When you are in love you will indulge in various physical exertion, which will wear you out & make you so tired & you will get sleepy & in dream also you will see only your love"
"I see him everywhere. Not only in my dream. But what to you mean by physical exertion?" I ask for clarity.
"physical exertion can be classified into two. On bed & off bed"
"Let's skips this chapter. Tell me the other symptoms" I tell quickly before he go in deep.
"Cravings" Sultan tells.
"Huh?" I don't think these are symptoms of love.
"Yes, you crave to see your love & keep him with you always"
"Yes, yes, exactly. I do feel so. I want him all my life" I m now confident that sultan is giving me the right symptoms.
"Then you get nausea or vomiting"
"What the?" I shout.
"Yes, if you are in love you will feel butterflies tingling in your stomach. See, your stomach is very sensitive & you will tend to throw kisses" throw kisses?? didn't he say vomiting?
"No. I don't feel so" I tell him frowning.
"Hmm.. you have few of the symptoms but not all... well, you are initial stage of pregnancy"
"What?" I shout.
"Er... Um.. I mean initial stage of Love."
"Did you just told me symptoms of pregnancy?" I asks suspiciously.
"You are so sharp" he says in wonder "found out verrryyy soon" I guess he is teasing me. Yeah, I m dumb.
"Well, how do you know all this?" I ask him.
"I was doing research on pregnancy" I shrugs.
"Why?" I ask.
"I want to know whether Dipali is getting all these symptoms or not"
"Why would she get all this symptoms? You both are not married right?" I ask him confused.
"We forgot to use protection so she might get pregnant & What's the connection between sex & marriage?"
"That's Sin" I shriek.
"You should be outlawed centuries ago." he shakes his head at me. Well, I have certain principles. I wished my Rishu was also a virgin like me but he is not. I sigh sadly.
"So, is she pregnant?" I ask him.
"I guess so. She is really getting sensitive & wild too" he tell thoughtfully.
"So what you will do?" I ask him
"I was confused so I asked Rishu for guidance & he told us to get married & have the baby as the innocent baby is at no fault, I know he is right" he tells smiling.
"Rishu loves babies." he adds.
"I know" I smile.
"That's why he is tolerating all your shitty tantrums, Baby brat" he pinches my cheeks little painfully.
I winch & hit on his hand to leave me.
"So you are falling in love?" Sultan asks me after sometime.
"Yes. But I m little confused." the idea of getting intimate with Rishu is so unsettling.
"Why?"
"He is my friend" I tell him.
"Dipali is also my friend. But now we are lovers, tomorrow we will be parents, then will be married couple" he tells casually as friends getting married is not a big issue.
"Well, you didn't tell who is your lover?" Sultan asks.
"I will let the whole wide world know when I m ready to confess my love to him." I smile.
"Oh you need time to grow up nah, kiddo. Well, take your time but not too long then he might fall out of love" he laughs. I frown. This is not something to laugh.
__0__
(few months later)
Months past since I returned from Singapore. Still I m confused. But one thing I m sure. I love my rishu. I want him. But i want to be the best for him. He should not hesitate to give a second chance to me. I should win him back in my life, by hook or by crook. I should play the role or his friend & wife perfectly. But for that I need to get prepared. I need some time for that. Hope Trishna can help me.
"Mom, tonight I won't be coming home as I will be staying out" I inform mom.
"What?"
"Don't panic. I m not staying out alone. Trishna will be with me."
"But Madhu? We want to..."
"Madhu, please. Tomorrow you can."
"But where you are gonna stay? At Trishna's place?" Mom asks me.
"Nope. We will be staying in the apartment"
"Why you wanna stay there?"
"Just simply"
"You are going mad, Madhu" Mom chides me.
"I am always mad, mom" I grin at her.
"What I will tell your dad?"
"Just copy & paste what I told you now"
"Okay. Come tomorrow morning itself." she instructs.
"I will try, Mom"
__0__
"Hey, why you called me here? We could have crashed at your place or mine right?" Trishna asks me the moment she enter the apartment.
"Trish, I want to tell you something important" I tell her seriously.
"Don't tell me you are in love" she says. What the hell? Why all are stealing my thunder? Why won't they let me say anything but guess everything so damn right?
"How do u know that?" I asks shocked.
"The glow in your face, the spark in your eyes, the secret smile of yours clearly says you have fallen for someone. Tell me who is it?" Oh my! Is it so obvious? Do I look like a love stuck loon?
"You are a genius, Trish" I say in wonder.
"That I am. I have noticing you for months now." she says proudly. "So?" she asks.
"I... I think... I m in..."
"Wait" she stops me. "Why you are hesitating? Are you having any second thoughts? You are not clear about your feelings?"
"It's all new to me. I have never loved a man in my life, I have never dated anyone. I know only one man closely all my life & now I m falling for him"
"You love Rishab? That's why you went to Singapore for last vacation? To meet him?" Trishna's eyes went wide. I nod.
"Really?"
"I guess so"
"Oh f**k with your thinking & guessing answers. Say confidently, you love him or not?" she asks excitedly.
"I told him I m falling for him..."
"What he said?"
"Rishu said I was confused & asked me to clear my mind. So took this long to clear my mind & lead my life as normal as ever. But I can't help feel for Rishu... You know... He is my life... But...he said lets be friends..."
"Of course you are a confused soul. See, he can't take a chance with you when you don't know about your feelings well. He doesn't want to get hurt by shooting his hopes high like a rocket."
"Hmm... I don't know whether he still loves me or not?" I tell Trish little worried.
"I think he will always love you."
"Hmm... when I asked he said he still loved me. But as a friend or as a lover? That I don't know"
"See, you are the who is jeopardizing between love & friendship but for Rishab both are one, he respects you as a friend & loves you as a lover"
That makes sense. He was ready to accept me as his wife because he was able to see me as his friend as well as his wife & he loves both of them unconditionally. But I was seeing him only as my friend & never tried to accept him as my husband & that's because I was scared of romancing my husband who was also my friend. Oh god! This is confusing.
"Will he take me back in his life?"
"I guess he will" she replies.
"Oh f**k with your thinking & guessing answers. Say confidently, he will or wont?" I shout throwing her own words at her.
"Go ask him, you bitch" Trishna shouts back at me.
"You are here to help me, asshole" I growl at her.
"What?" she asks with attitude.
"Teach me" I ask her.
"Teach you what? You are one who teaches me all subjects? Then?"
"Teach me how to get intimate with Rishu."
"Sex education huh?" she asks smirking. "Such an intriguing subject. My favorite" she grins. A goofy grin.
"See, I want Rishu in my life because I can't live without him."
"Oh please. Stop thinking about yourself always. Think about him & his feelings too. You can't get him back only because you want him or you can't live without him. You can get him only when he is ready to take you in his life again & that will happen only when he is in love with you still."
"I told you right he still loves me as he himself told me that"
"But why he didn't jump in joy when he came to know about your feelings for him"
"I don't know" I whisper back. Why he didn't take me back? I told I want to stay with him forever but he didn't let me?
"May be he wants to give you some time to come to a conclusion" Trishna tells. May be?
"I want him. I want to give him all the happiness. I want to express my feelings for him, this time in a intimate way so that he will understand... I m ready to give him anything. I want to shower him with my love"
"Okay"
"For that you need to train me" I tell biting my lips.
"Practical training?" Trishna asks grinning.
"Trish!" I admonish her.
"Okay chill. Just kidding! Universal rule to express once love intimately is through kissing the life out of them."
"I kiss Rishu & he kisses me too" I tell her taking offense.
"See, duffer, there are different ways in kissing, different places to kiss, but all are not same"
"I didn't get you"
"Well, a father will kiss his daughter on her temple, a brother will kiss his sister right on top of her head, a mother will kiss her daughter on her eyes, nose tip, fingers, toes that's when the girl was a small baby & once the baby grows up she will kiss her on her cheeks. But only a lover will kiss on lips, not a peck but he will give a soul scrunching kiss to the one he love. Have you ever kissed Rishab like that or he kissed you like that?"
"No" I shake my head. "Where a husband will kiss?" I ask curiously.
"Everywhere" she winks. I blink at her.
"But mostly, lip kiss - like a simple peck that's mostly a goodbye kiss give by husbands to wives before going to work, nibble nibble - single lips kiss that's when the wife is sleeping, reverse kiss - that when he is in too much love husband will lift his wife on his lap & tilt her head up & kiss, a kind of playful kiss, then... necking, that's mostly happens when couples dance on floor or on bed, ear lobe kiss - to turn on the wife, cheek kiss, throat kiss, breast kiss, chest kiss, belly kiss..." oh f**k! How does she has so much knowledge in this topic?
"Enough!!" I stop her. I down want her to go beyond that.
"That's a whole lot of kisses" I tell in surprise.
"I could say at least 100 types of kisses, baby" she smiles & kisses my cheek. I laugh.
"But a loving husband will never fail to give his wife a forehead kiss daily night before going to bed" I had felt Rishu kissing me when I was asleep daily night when we were living together. Yes, he was such a loving husband.
"I see" I bit my lips again taking in all the information.
"So, you better kiss your Rishu & win him back" Trish says coolly.
"Do you think that will work?" I ask doubtfully.
"Sue me & take me to court if that formula didn't work out" Trishna says dramatically.
"Okay? How to kiss?" I ask.
"Simple, slam your lips on his, then nibble his lips, coaxing him to give you access to enter his mouth, if he didn't then bite him gently, he will gasp, then sweeps your tongue in, then dance... Got it?"
"Yes, Ma'am" I nod my hear. No one can teach how to kiss orally with such vivid clarity.
"So what's the next lesson" I ask eagerly.
"I'm tired bitch, give me a break. More over you can't learn everything in a day, its a very vast subject, tougher that nuclear physics" she says seriously.
"Okay. But you will educate me in this subject daily at least for one hour?" I don't know whether my tone sounded like a request or command.
"Would love to." she grins.
"I love you, asshole" I smile & hug her.
"I love you, bitch" she hugs me back.
"So? What special tomorrow? Party at your home?"
"Hmm... I guess so but I want to stay the night here. You are staying here with me right?"
"Of course. But will I get to sleep with u on your bed."
"No! You will do something to me. I will sleep in Rishu's room & you can hug the pillows & sleep in my room" I tell & run to my Rishu's room laughing.
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P.S - @ chitraP - Hi dear, firstly thanks for commenting. I m surprised to hear you think about this Rishab & asked me whether any one like him lives in this world & asked have I come across such person... Then I would 'NO' I have never ever seen someone so sweet, loving caring, without ego, ever in my life. Since I couldn't see one, I m dreaming & creating one in my story.
Edited by madhurish - 9 years ago
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Shiv Shakti
