Chap 14 on Pg 136 Entrapment : An Extremely Dark Advni FF

ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#1






Okay the above is a cover, my dearest darling Mehvish @neverlandspirit did for me , and i LOOOVVEEE ITTT!!!!!

There is a lot happening in this picture, a flower burning which is obvious , its Chandini burning in Advays revenge hate etc,

But it is also Advay burning ... he is the fire that is burning relentlessly.

What really blew my mind tho, is the choice of the flower... A HISBISCUS and not a ROSE which would have seemed like an obvious choice.
Mehvish , thank for choosing a Hibiscus, as Hibiscus flowers are used in prayers in temples and in hindu traditions. So thank u so much for choosing this flower. So it fits well with the theme that its all about a religious concept, a daughter of a Mahant burning or even better a Man's belief in his god was destroyed. There are so many different interpretations i can come up with UFFF!!!

But all in all MEHVISH!!! YOU MADE MY WISH COME TRUE TO HAVE A COVER FOR MY STORY !!! SO THANK U 😳😳🤗

and I LOVE U TO THE POWER OF INFINITY





Link : Chapter 3 updated on Page 16












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Disclaimer:

The following content is for mature readers only, i would say at least 21+, it has a lot of mature scenes, which may not sit well with a lot of readers.
Thought not all chapters are 21+, but wherever it is , I will indicate it at the top, so that readers can make a choice. The content doesnt start till at least Chapter 7 or 8 IMO, but post that, i will let u know and you can decide accordingly 😃

The other disclaimer that i have been advised to add as per our lovely Magnothyme, is that although the characters are those of IPK3, the story itself is purely a work of fiction, based solely on my imagination. I am the owner of this plot and this premise and so i all rights belong to me therefore.

The other disclaimer which i wanted to add, is that although i have a montage of IPK3, and Barun played Advay to perfection, and would have slayed had they allowed the dark character to live its full life. YET , my Advay is not Barun Sobti. Yes he may have the same eyes and the same bearded look, and a similar intensity that Barun has potrayed to perfection. But my Advay is a bigger broader man, who is a lot more handsome and a lot more menacing. I dont have Barun in my mind when i write these scenes, the guy who plays out in my head is a totally different man. But i guess you can imagine as you prefer, Barun or otherwise. But the Advay of my imagination is Advay and bears very little similarity to Barun.

This is not a grey story , it is dark. So if you are looking for mushy romance then do check out my other FF, Predator turns Prey, as my Advay there is one of the sweetest heroes you may have ever seen.

The Advay in this FF, is dark, deadly, dangerous ...but he is not a criminal. So don't worry he is exactly how the makers portrayed him, minus the watering down of his character.


The story is shot in Allahabad and it takes from the beginning, the premise is the same, except that i have written it from the start like the way i would have liked for the story to have evolved.

Ok My Advay is Raw.. who had no care for social norms. He is rude , brash , harsh and everything you don't want to see in a man. But thats who he is.

But at the end of the day its a beautiful love story at the heart of it all. So if the dark parts or the sexual content offends you then please skip those parts and only read the good bits, as the story is from my heart. Its a story were some parts have made me cry, even when i have gone back and re read it. Its extremely emotional, will tug at all your heart strings, provided you are willing to look part the darker elements of the story.
The love that the two characters have for each other is simply unconditional and so raw, that you cant help but bawl ur eyes out, for the pain they feel when they inflict pain on each other.

I will not say much abt the character or the story, and will let you make decision , and make your impressions.

Yes the material is kinky, so please tread with caution. 😃
But i have written it as tastefully as possible.😳


Edited by ChitraGS - 7 years ago

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ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#2

Power: The middle name of Advay Singh Raizada. Power drove him, fuelled him, kept him feeling alive.

The train screeched on its wheels, they were nearing the station, forty miles to the north of Allahabad City.

Advay Singh Raizada stood tall and proud at the edge of the train. He had returned home, sixteen years later. A boy when he had fled the city only to return as a powerful albeit a broken man, who bore the scars of his past and the fire deep in his heart.

Advay Singh Raizada was the name of the inferno simmering within the shell of Dev Kashyap. He no longer identified with Dev. He had survived the holocaust, with the single purpose to wreak havoc on the perpetrators of the heinous crime committed sixteen years ago.

He took his sunglasses off and breathed in a lungful of the city he had loved... Allahabad.

But the air felt toxic now, suffocating him, as the memories of the fateful day his parents were murdered flashed before his eyes. He shook his head trying to shake them away, focussing on the sight ahead of him, the reason he had taken a train. He watched the landscape as the train snaked towards his town that had once been on the fringes of Allahabad. What was once a town was now engulfed and married to the heart of the city. There was no telling where the Allahabad of his childhood ended and where the quaint town he belonged to began. Everywhere he looked there were sky scrapers and malls sprawling around. This was no longer the Allahabad he remembered.

"Bhaiyya careful, you are standing too close to the edge,' Murli yelled from behind, as Advay stood precariously close to the edge of the train, trying to look down into the valley, the void which resembled the hole in his heart.

He removed his sunglasses to get a better view of the landscape beneath him. What was once a jungle was now a residential area. How had this happened? Where had he been?

He blinked as that precise junction came into view, the junction where life had forced him to commit the gravest sin of all. Tears pricked his eyes, as the memory of that fateful moment flashed before his eyes. The nightmare that sent shivers down his spine even today.

"Bhaiyya are you ok?'

"There Murli' He finally spoke, fighting his tears back. "There... You see that bridge,' He pointed in the direction of the bridge the train was heading towards. "That is where I hurled Micku out of the train.'

He leaned further out, as the train crawled over the bridge, looking down into that memory, into that moment. He scanned around looking for his brother like as though he was still there waiting for him, looking for where he could have landed. There were only a few houses, a dargah and a road that led somewhere... and nothing more.

"Only the dargah existed in those days, but now it's a part of the city,' he sighed, "I don't even know if he is alive.'

"He is alive Bhiyya,' Murli patted Advay's shoulder "Mera dil kehta hai.'

Advay smiled at his little help, his friend, his confidante over the years. Murli knew everything about his life, there was nothing to hide, he was the most loyal, trustworthy person Advay had ever known.

"He would be same age as you Murli.' Advay blinked as he made his way back into the train.

"How old are you Murli?'

"23.. Bhaiyya.'

"Yeah a couple of years younger maybe...' He sighed "My Micku.'

Murli watched the agony on Advay's face as the train pulled onto the station.

"Chalo Bhaiyya... We have arrived.'

Love: The middle name of Chandini Narayan Vashisht. Love ebbed and flowed within her, around her. Love was the reason she smiled, she breathed, she lived.

Chandini Narayan Vashisht sat before the mirror oiling her long silky hair, as she gazed at her reflection, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

"You look happy,' Meghana chirped behind her.

"Yes,' She beamed "I am going to meet my Bholenath after three days.'

"Your love for your Bholenath is beyond me,' Shikha grunted stretching herself in Chandini's bed.

"Life is love, and Love is life.' Chandini smiled at the reflection of Shikha behind her.

"People believe that success and power is everything,' She continued as she brushed her hair. "But for me Love is Power. Love can even make God himself kneel before you.'

Shikha and Meghana chuckled at Chandini's words.

"Love IS power,' She glared at her sisters, "you let go of yourself in love and love takes over you. No one can fight love. Love conquers all.'

She got up from her stool and took her towel.

"I am going for a bath, think about what I just said.' She chuckled and walked into the bathroom, as Shikha and Meghu rolled their eyes and glanced at each other. Their sister was a hopeless romantic.

Advay stood in front of the mirror as he assessed his reflection. Who was he? What was his name? He was a nomad, a man with no name, no identity, no feelings. Everything lost on that fateful day as he had stood still, lifeless, helpless and watched his mother burn, his father bleed. That fateful day when he hurled his five-year-old brother out of a running train, not sure where he would land, not sure if he would make it alive. Dev Kashyap' he chuckled to himself, his name from his previous life. The sweet tempered, happy go lucky Dev Kashyap had died that day, along with his family. All that was left was a burning heart, an inferno of rage that had one purpose and one purpose alone: to destroy every person involved in the murders of his parents, to destroy the Vashishts, to destroy Indrani Vashisht but above all to ruin his best friend, the girl who had been spoken for... to him, Chandini Yash Narayan Vashisht.

Advay was a sick twisted man, who had no place for love in his heart. He was cold, cunning, calculative... compassion didn't exist in his dictionary at least not when it came to Chandini. He smirked at the smug face he always wore, he talked the talk and walked the walk. He had learnt the ways of the world. Power was respected and revered. Power was strength, love was weakness. His need to execute control had made him the successful man he was. He had done well for himself, had worked hard, earned a scholarship at Cambridge, had amassed enough wealth to last three lifetimes.

It was not wealth he was here for.

Cold blooded revenge...

He was here for revenge, and he would stop at nothing to exact that.

Advay wore his father's Rudraksha around his wrist, wound with his mother's chain. The only two things he had left of them. He brushed his fingers against the Rudraksha as the last memory of his parents flashed before his eyes. Of him touching their feet, of his father's hand on his head, of his mother's warm breath on his forehead. He closed his eyes as a tear escaped and fell against his cheek. Chandini was going to have to pay the price. What she had done could never be pardoned, neither in this world or another.

"Chalo Murli, We, haven't got all day' Advay yelled from the doorway as Murli ran up to him with the car keys jingling in his hands.

They got into the car and drove through the concrete jungle that the once quaint little town had turned into.

"I don't recognise anything Murli. I feel I am in an altogether different city.' Advay sighed. His childhood was truly lost. He continued tapping his fingers against his knee, the temple was a twenty-minute drive.

"Bhaiyya are you nervous,' Murli finally asked shifting the gear, as Advay kept shifting in his passenger seat.

"No...' He snapped "Not nervous. I have had a dry spell... I need to get laid...soon.'

Murli chuckled... Advay was his brother more than his boss. He had never made him feel any less, he knew every little detail of his Bhaiyya's life.

"Do you think you would find anyone here in Allahabad, who would agree to your... Murli raised a brow "peculiar tastes?'

Advay threw a sideward glance towards Murli, he knew what Murli was hinting at.

"I don't know Murli, not that I am looking for anyone... Right now, I want to stay focussed on my mission.'

"Not that you will find anyone who would agree,' Murli rolled his eyes, "Trust me Bhaiyya, no one wants a psycho.'

"I am not a psycho Murli... I just like to dominate. That's my preference. I execute control in everything in life, everywhere, including my bedroom. You have met my girlfriends in the past, did I ever wrong anyone of my girls. It's just a preference...a need to dominate... A need to control, that's all.' He sighed. Why didn't people get his lifestyle. He wasn't an abuser... it was always consensual.

"Anyways enough about me...how is your sex life coming along Murli,' Advay looked out of the window of the passenger seat, still unable to believe that his city has changed beyond recognition. "I can't believe you are twenty-three and still a virgin...'

"Unlike you I am waiting for that special someone, Bhaiyya,' Murli wore a twinkle in his eye. "You know ... someone who can sweep me off my feet.'

They chuckled together.

"But that doesn't deter you from meeting girls, does it Murli?'

"How, will I meet that special someone if I don't keep meeting girls,' Murli pressed hard on the brakes, screeching the vehicle to a halt.

"Oh, Baba Andhe ho kaa, Meri gaadi mili thi kaa marne ke liye,' Murli yelled at the man, who sprinted across the street ignoring Murli's rants.

"Its India Murli,' Advay chuckled to himself. "Zero traffic rules.'

"Waisey I have been meeting quite a few girls, but woh baat nahi hai kisi main.' Murli shook his head and twisted his face. It seemed like god had stopped making good girls anymore.

"What is your type Murli?' Advay asked wearing his lazy look. But Murli knew him well, he always looked bored but that didn't mean he wasn't interested.

"I don't know Bhiayya, I just want a girl with a fire, a girl with some spunk.'

Advay roared into a laughter.

"A girl with some spunk... Do you even know what spunk means Murli?'

Murli grinned ear to ear.

"Come one Bhiayya of course I know what it means, Itne bhi bhuddu nahi hai hum.'

"Tell you what Murli,' Advay chuckled, "Meet a girl quick and give her some of your spunk.'

"Bhaiyya' Murli turned red as he grinned to himself.

They drove for a while in silence as the radio blared away.

"Waisey Bhaiyya... are you certain that Chandini Didi will fall for you,' Murli asked breaking the silence that had crept between them. "I mean what if she finds you too old and too rugged for her liking.'

"You see that Murli,' Advay showed him the palm of his hand, "I think it's time you tasted it.'

Murli gulped.

"Old my foot, I am in the prime of my youth. Don't worry Murli, she will find my charms too hard to resist... Women like dark men Murli, it's just in their genes to fall for the bad boy.'

"Dark ... Have you looked at yourself Bhaiyya...? You look like a beast, with that beard and that cold... bone chilling stare of yours... Mark my words Chandini didi will be running for the hills once she lays her eyes on you'

Murli let out a hearty laugh, while Advay glowered at him.

"When Chandini will meet me, she will be struck,' Advay glanced up with a confident twinkle in his eye "LOVE STRUCK.'

"We'll see bhiyya'

"Yep ... you'll see Murli.'

"So Bhaiyya what is the plan here'

"The plan is to destroy her Murli. Do what she did to me? Leave her broken so she can never have a normal life. He let out a sigh

"A lie destroyed my life ... killed my mother,' He flinched a little, "Time for a lie to destroy Chandini ... don't you think.'

"Bhaiyya...hmmm ... do you plan on getting ...her,' Murli gulped not sure if whether to finish the sentence. He shuddered under Advay's intense glare. "If looks could kill'

"Getting her ... What?' Advay snapped. He knew where Murli was going with this conversation.

"Getting her ... Pregnant,' Murli whispered, his voice almost inaudible, as he looked down to his feet preparing himself for the wrath of the devil.

"Shut up,' Advay thundered even before Murli finished with his audacious suggestion.

"Do you really think that's my style.' He glared, disgusted with Murli for his ridiculous suggestion. He hated Chandini, but was a man of high morals.

"I don't plan on touching her, I can never bring myself to touch a woman like her... She is my mother's murderer.'

"Par Bhaiyya... How else?' Murli managed to ask, sometimes curiosity did make him do strange things, like take on the bull by its horns.

"Shame, Murli... Shame ... badnaami,' He smirked "Shame is a big word is these parts of the country. Just one rumour that Chandini is a free for all and the entire city will descend upon their family like vultures'

He knew how disgusting people were in his city. Immoral lechers, who were always on a lookout for an opportunity to ruin a family, like they had once done to his.

"All we have to do is spread a rumour that she is having an affair with me, and then before you know the entire city will want to have an affair with her... Trust me Murli they will tear her to bits... like literally Tear. Her. To. Bits.'

Murli shivered at the heartless tone of Advay's voice.

"She was a child Bhaiyya.'

"She didn't think of me Murli... She watched my family burn ... now I will watch her burn... I am who I am... thanks to Chandini Yash Narayan Vashisht. She is the reason this simple Dev had turned into the monstrous Advay. Maybe it's time I pay her back with her own coin.'

"Par Bhaiyya' Murli finally looked him in the eye, "Will you be able to watch?' He knew Advay, he knew that he still loved her, though he denied it all the time.

"I am not Dev... Murli.' Advay let out a sigh. He was going to have to watch her shred to bits, watch her burn, watch a piece of his heart burn with her. He was going to have to do it for his Maa.

"Chalo Murli' He finally said as they took a turn towards the temple, "Time to say hello to Chandini.'

Murli watched him with horror. He didn't want his boss... his brother to turn into a monster in the attempt to exact revenge for something Chandini had done as a child.

Elly2207 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#3
The concept is captivating
Can't wait for the story to unfold
Do update daily if u can coz I'm already a fan of ur FF
Edited by gamini2207 - 7 years ago
ASRkiMoonlight thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#4
That was a fiery start
The concept looks exactly how we were promised in the promos
It's going to be one hell of a ride..a very interesting one
AdNi first meeting is going to be huge. Just cannot wait
Thank you for this Chitra
neverlandspirit thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#5
First chapter, and you have me hooked already!
God! The first chapter itself was goosebumps inducing...It is scary how dark you have made Advay here. Ruthless and unforgiving.
If Murli is scared then we all too have a good reason to be. Chandini watch out!

I feel like what makes Advay dark here is not his dominating ways nor his need for revenge. What makes Advay dark is his uncanny way of reading people. He hasn't known, spoken or seen Chandini personally for 16 years. And yet he is sure she will fall for him. He already knows, that his rugged, nomadic look is going to draw her in like a moth to a fire. His aura of mystery is not something she can resist.

I loved how you portrayed Chandini to be a perfect contrast to Advay, her eager to see her Bholenath! That purity...

All in all, I am pumped and beyond excited to see what you have in store for us.

Love,
NvL


Edited by neverlandspirit - 7 years ago
saxena_hgt thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#6
Killer one chitraji.. man your advay is surely a beast & you have selected perfect montage pic for that.. i m so looking forward to this one.. how u r managing two poles apart advay is beyond me...i think this one is close to promo advay.. i loved how strong murli & advay bond is.. by d way i have few queries, just like that.. why to show a man is dark, he has to have colourful sex life? Can't virgins b dark?? Second i just don't understand when advay has so much power & intelligence, why he take his past on face value & didn't do any digging further? I know its just starting of your story but these questions r solely for discussion purpose..hoping to have a wonderful journey with u once again.. cheers..
Pixiepixel11 thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
#7
Wow awesome and interesting start loved it so much.
Really captivating.
Continue soon.
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: gamini2207

The concept is captivating
Can't wait for the story to unfold
Do update daily if u can coz I'm already a fan of ur FF


Hi Thanks a lot Gamini , so good to know u liked the beginning,
updating daily, Hmm, TBH i have two FF's going at the moment, and that too, an Advay who is contrasting personality in both these FF, so to write two contrasting Advays in itself is exhausting, especially the Dark one tho is extremely exhausting in himself.f

I have a few chapters i have already written, so i will update on alternate days to begin with, while putting out my mushy FF Predator , too, so read both the FF's then you will have enough material to last each day of the week IMO 😆, and I as a writer will get enough time to write the story and do justice to the content and the quality as well

Thansk agains for all ur kind words, i have accepted ur buddy req, will PM u next time when i updates which shud b soon
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: ASRkiMoonlight

That was a fiery start

The concept looks exactly how we were promised in the promos
It's going to be one hell of a ride..a very interesting one
AdNi first meeting is going to be huge. Just cannot wait
Thank you for this Chitra


Oh ASR ki Chandini wali Lubs ,

How are you, thank god you liked the start, yes wait for the first meet, it is hell HAH!!!

This is a beautiful story trust em when i say that, leave the dark side out, but othewise its a heart wrenching story OMG , 😳, hope u like it till the end.
ChitraGS thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: neverlandspirit

First chapter, and you have me hooked already!

God! The first chapter itself was goosebumps inducing...It is scary how dark you have made Advay here. Ruthless and unforgiving.
If Murli is scared then we all too have a good reason to be. Chandini watch out!

Oh thanks Mehvish, i am glad i made the right impact 😳
Yep he is scary for sure, tho what is freaking me in your case, is you said that you haven't read Fifty shades, are you sure you can handle this 😲.
I am worried for you lovely, he is a monster in a lot of ways, so fingers crossed, dont read the chapters where i say 21+, if you dont find it easy to stomach. But overall its a stunning love story, one i fell in love with.

I feel like what makes Advay dark here is not his dominating ways nor his need for revenge. What makes Advay dark is his uncanny way of reading people. He hasn't known, spoken or seen Chandini personally for 16 years. And yet he is sure she will fall for him. He already knows, that his rugged, nomadic look is going to draw her in like a moth to a fire. His aura of mystery is not something she can resist.

Aww,..thanks. You always seem to have a refreshing perspective, one that even i as a writer usually wouldnt have considered. His need for revenge is not so hardcore initially, but his dominance will come thru. But i think he is so confident in his skin, that he knows that women find it impossible to resist him. He is sure of himself, and probably hence why there is this hint of cockiness abt him. But yet you re right in saying that he can read people for sure. He is good a manipulating people and situations, so it makes sense that he is good at reading them too. This is a diff, perspective and thanks for revealing another dimensions to my character tho i had done so unintentionally.


I loved how you portrayed Chandini to be a perfect contrast to Advay, her eager to see her Bholenath! That purity...

Oh She is fab, but she has a spine too, and maybe thats wht irks him to death. 😆

All in all, I am pumped and beyond excited to see what you have in store for us.

Love,
NvL

Oh i am excited tooo. But i am nervous more than excited, hoping that i dont make a mess of the story. I need to rein my horses and try and keep the story on the track as much as possible. Lets see where it takes, us ..
thansk again for such a detailed review yaar 🤗, look forward to reading more when i update soon




Edited by ChitraGS - 7 years ago

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