Thank you my dearest friends.. All those who left comments. I pressed Like and wish there was a love button to each reply that expressed their feelings. I am overwhelmed.
as for ending P&P, I am truly sorry as it does take a big effort for me to go through this sotry especially in the situation I am in. It is not easy believe me, as sometimes I do feel emotional about it all. This track is related to a friend who had been through this. She could not bear a baby and then this miracle happened. She did have one miscarriage in a situation similar to Khanak.
But before you all gasp, yes she has a healthy baby now. 😳 So there you go... P&P will see ShaNak as happy parents.
So thanks for such sweet replies to all and the silent ones too... Enjoy the second last part maybe... and then the Prologue.
Part 34
A mayhem of a whole week saw a frantic Shantanu chasing the demons in his life... as he ran his hand across his forehead, bidding goodnight to the nurse on duty... "Good night Dr. Khandelwal, she is resting." He nodded and smiled absently... mechanically his body doing the chores... Daadi had earlier retired after sitting with her throughout dinner in her bed... Mom and Dad had left for Delhi as buaji's daughter was getting engaged. They had been reluctant but he had insisted and now that she was better they left... He had just got off the phone after speaking at length with Ma...
He appeared a sight knowing well that his stubbled haggard look will not be met with approval.. especially on seeing him after a gap of two days. He spoke to her often in these past two days that he had not seen her, as his week away from work had put a back log in his schedule and he managed to clear that in the space of 2 days finally Not only cleared the backlog but also had done enough so that he could take the whole of next week off... Ravi had insisted that he do and would contact him only if there was an extreme emergency...
She lay in bed looking like a wisp of a feather... frail, a little pale... her eyes seemed like two luminous jewels shining there as she gazed at his picture on the diary... knowing that a lot still needed to be said.. to be heard... yet feeling a sense of satisfaction.. she was home.. with him... knowing that he was home and was downstairs... She closed her eyes and with a sigh pressed the diary to her chest... as if feeling his energy... a soft smile played at her lips.. making her look so beautiful and regal... and that is how he saw her.. his breath catching in his throat at her beauty...
But something jolted as he suddenly realised what had transpired in this whole week.. A dart of electricity streaking down his spine, as he felt raw fear again stab inside his stomach... with the thought of nearly losing her... For a moment he swallowed hard closing his eyes mentally chiding him for even thinking of that again... as his breath rasped and her eyes flew open acknowledging his presence... with a soft inviting.. "Doc... I did not hear you come in..." Her hands placing the diary back onto the bedside table...
He smiled at her and as he moved in the circle of the soft light from her bedside she gasped for the tired haggard look on his face... "DOC!!!" He smiled biting his lip in knowledge and sighing moved towards he leaning forward to plant a soft kiss at her cheek... "Jingles... missed you.." He gently leaned back and murmured... "Could you ask Alby for some milk.. I.. will go and freshen up" She flashed an endearing smile which caressed his tired senses, as his heart jolted again every nerve responding to her soothing presence... She nodded and he left to take a shower... Thoughtfully she bit her lip and did the needful... Bidding a soft goodnight to Alby who placed the glasses of milk onto the coffee table and departed as discreetly as he had entered...
She rose with a soft sigh and lifted the glass just as he came out and spoke a tinge sharply.. "Get back right inside the bed!!" She smiled and said.. "Doc.. I am okay.. this won't kill me..." Realising her folly as he paled at her choice of words.. and bit her lip and rushed to him hugging him... as he buried his nose in her neck.. hugging her tightly... as she murmured "I.. I did not mean.. that Doc.. I..." But he leaned back and silenced her with a deep kiss which spoke of his mental state... the fear transmitting to her as she responded completely...
He broke their kiss and looked into her eyes which spoke all the multitude of feelings that crowded him... his fears evident for her to see... She shook her head as if chiding raising the glass of milk to his lips... He drank it as she held the glass... As she placed it down on the table, he took his turn and held the glass full for her to sip but she declined and giggled. He frowned and raised his brows in askance and she bit her lip and leaning up to him pointed at his milk moustache... And then she saw the smile on his face... the one that always managed to make her poor heart skip a beat... He wiped it with the back of his hand and in a swift motion effortlessly lifted her and carried her to their bed and placed her gently down joining her... she snuggled close to him as he hugged her to him... she giggled as his stubble rasped her cheek and then spoke into his chest... "I love you... " her nose tickled by the fine silk there... she sighed in an appreciative murmur.
He absently played with her hair.. He rasped out "Me two..." For a long time they shared this silent intimacy.. just being in each other's arms.. feeling the togetherness... each in their own train of thoughts... willing the other to broach the topic... as he finally spoke in a soft harsh voice, anger directed at himself... "You knew it didn't you?" He heard her deep resigned intake of breath and closed his eyes... both not at all willing to break their silence.. both aching to be in each other's arms... in their very own haven...
She waited knowing that the dams would burst soon... she felt it... she felt his need to speak. Though they both knew that no words were necessary.. but she willed and wished that he get it off his chest... And then his voice broke in a rasp... "Jingles you know it.. how much you mean to me... When.. I lost Natasha... I felt a pain. Yes I loved her in my own way.. as I would have then... but the pain that I felt did not wrench my guts like it does now...That love does not seem the same like I love you now. I wonder now if the love that I did feel for her was love at all... Oh yes she was a dear friend, yes I feel that loss to date.. but now.. knowing true love which I feel for you...I feel sure by the minute that what I felt for her then must have been an infatuation.. a feeling of being in love... I bring up Natasha now in between us not because I remember her, or her loss still affects me... the hurt of losing a friend has healed... I bring her today to let you realise that you mean the world to me.. you are my life.. my very breath.. my soul... my heart beats... When I lost Natasha I was able to overcome that loss with an ease.. I did feel the pain then as she was a dear friend, but if IF ANYTHING.. MIND YOU ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU.. I. WILL.. DIE.. I WON'T BE..."
He had said the last bit staring into her face as he had cupped her face to make her look into his eyes... She jerked and her hand instantly covered his lips stemming the flow of his tirade... chiding with her eyes.. as if telling him 'Yes I know it all Doc... you need not clarify... to me...' In relief he sagged, as suddenly it sank within him that she knew it all... and knew in his heart too... He need not have told her.. but she wanted him to heave it off his chest.. so that he would lighten up... He shuddered as he remembered seeing her slumped in bed when he had reached Khandala last week and the dams now finally burst as he saw the moisture swimming in her eyes too... he sobbed like a baby... in her arms..
She clutched his head hard to her bosom and rocked him.. trying to shush him... caressing the damp silk at his forehead... raking his hair, massaging, assuring him that nothing will happen to her... Finally after a long time.. the storm stemmed... he just lay there to be in her arms... his eyes feeling like grit in them... he sighed deeply still hiccupping as he felt her rhythmic stroking at his head... as it grew steadily heavy and finally out of sheer exhaustion, sleep overtook him. She did not know when slowly her eye lids too dipped heavy with sleep, exhausted emotionally yet holding her own... for their sake.. for his sake.. for their baby's sake... a soft smile touching her face as she felt within... 'Yes everything will be alright...' The seed of their love had been sown a long time ago...
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Somewhere in the house the grandfather must have struck the hour and he eyes flew open... She felt a heaviness at her chest... and glanced down to see his head resting there... A wealth of love rose and she saw his arm around her middle resting not heavy indicating that he was probably awake... Her eyes moistened and she then stilled further with shock as suddenly she felt fresh wetness at her chest... She felt a sharp pain in her heart but also a relief washed down through her as finally he was letting go after the week's turmoil... Very slowly she took his hand and he stilled though he did not move to look at her... She took his hand and very gently placed it on her womb... He jerked and tried to pull his hand away but she held it in place there covering his with hers and murmured in the softest of voice but clearly... "Happy Birthday Doc... from me to you..."
He raised himself looking into her serene countenance... as she spoke with her eyes.. she knew that this gift he will cherish.. thus eliminating all thoughts of they deciding to not have this baby... he knew of her knowledge and she smiled nudging him to believe what her heart felt... He shook his head but she held his hand there and he felt a strange current shoot up his hand and arm... as if he felt a connection to their unborn child which was taking shape and growing in her womb.. as she took that opportunity to vociferously assure him.. "It will be alright Doc... trust me... I know it.. I feel it.. Yes I know it will be difficult yet I know we will make it.. Doc I promise you... I have never failed you ever in promises... I have always kept my word... please... please trust me... Doc..."
She saw the war in his dark face.. as his eyes showed the turmoil...the fear... she knew he was a doctor first and foremost.. the war evident as reason duelled within with emotions... but she had decided to take this gamble... She knew that the path that they will walk from here will not be easy... but she also willed him with her eyes to be by her side... till she saw the crack in the armour and dealt a final blow below the belt... "You will won't you.. cherish this birthday gift like you did all the other gifts..." His sharp reprimand with his eyes was enough tfor her to know that her aim had met its mark... but in spite of his ire, he groaned and hugged her to him and she sighed finally able to let go herself as they hugged each other and she knew that this ship will reach the shores...
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As the nurse settled her into the bed again which had fresh sheets on it, she smiled and thanked her and asked for the beautifully wrapped Golden package. Nurse Kamat handed it to her and spoke in a soft voice... "You look so pink and beautiful today... God bless you both.." Khanak smiled with demure pleasure and nodded just as there was a knock and he entered... nurse Kamat nodded at him and said "Good morning Dr. Khandelwal." He smiled his reply with a nod and she was pleased to see that he had already been to take his blessings from Daadi. Nurse Kamat discreetly closed the door behind her and Shantanu turned to her to administer the injection, smiling with an endearance and gratitude... She caressed his forehead as she placed his lock of hair back... she winced as she felt the stab of the needle for a fleeting second and he spoke huskily... "There.. done.. you okay?" As she noded...
Earlier in the wee hours of morning, he had awakened to find his head nestled on her soft shoulder and his palm still on her womb. For a few moments the war had returned as reason took upper hand. But something profoundly strange prodded him to let emotions take the upper hand... His palm moved just a bit to lift but he could not... he felt as if there was a life throbbing there at her womb and his eyes dampened with a heart wrenching emotion which was inexplicable.. he wanted to caress the baby there... small, helpless... lying deeply nestled in the safe haven... Shantanu closed his eyes again as he saw in his mind's eyes... taking shape... slowly as he saw a pair of stubby fingers waving at him, gurgling sounds filling the air...
His eyes flew open with those tempting images and his palm automatically slid in a caressing motion at her belly... He felt her stir a little in sleep as one of her palms covered his and he bit his lip... Taking utmost care so as to not disturb her he rose to freshen and take his blessings from Daadi.. She had blessed him in the beautiful mandir inside the house and applied a tilak onto his forehead. Taking his balaaein and thus warding off all evill. She kissed his forehead gently and assured him that everything will be alright. Mom, Dad, Bhai and bhabhi too called to wish him. So did Ma and Papa...
Presently he saw that she was holding something in her hand and he smiled and asked softly.. "Another gift? Hmmm Mrs. Jingles Khandelwal, I am going to be spoilt today..." Upon which she smiled cheekily and pulled him closer and kissed him soundly on his lips.. murmuring "Happy Birthday doc..." Handing him the golden package which he tried to figure... what it was and not able to contain his curiosity carefully opened it to find a beautiful golden diary inside and he gasped as he saw written upon it...
"To Dad with love from Baby... Happy Birthday"
Eyes swimming in tears he bit down hard on his lip as she sighed softly and pulled his head down on her chest and spoke softly.. "Shhh no Doc... no... none of those now. You know we are strong and I know everything will be fine.. just fine.." He stayed there hugging her close, burying his head in the secrets at her neck... and she sighed appreciatively and murmured... "You know Doc, I have a feeling that it is a girl... they are very resilient.. they are strong.. can bear, they can hold on... and be through worst... She loves you too.. I can feel it. Though I know it is too early.. somehow I know..."
There she had dealt with one last final blow.. hitting below the belt.. using the knowledge that he had always wanted a girl and wielding the power of that knowledge in order to blackmail... she knew that nothing could go wrong... she quickly uttered a soft mental prayer asking forgiveness from God, but held on as he raised his head and looked at her with knowing eyes... yet she saw a streak of hope shining... as a soft smile broke on his pale face and she bit her lip... She closed her eyes with sheer happiness at him and he leaned forward to kiss her soft lips...
Jhanak
Shiv Shakti
