Dearest friends...
I promise to be here at this forum till my last moment. I shall try and keep this forum alive and breathing and thus keep the memories of RBO alive...
Enjoy the next part of P&P...
Part 26...
Shantanu was rushing in and out of surgeries... something though in his heart kept fluttering... he knew that this feeling was merely a fleeting unnecessary one... when changes happen.. which had been for the good... but still he worried. he had totaly left everything to Dr. Raichand who had been a strong pillar of strength for him both emotionally as well as professionally, who never failed on giving the assurance which Shantanu so much sought...
Today it had been a good fortnight almost of the changed regime in the treatment and already she had shown signs of excellent recovery. Though there were many internal complications due to the abortion, which could be dealt with later. Shantanu was more worried for her to be out of this comatose condition in which she had been... Today was important for him.. for them all.. especially for Dr. Raichand who was present as she started showing first signs of movement as her body adjusted to the reduction of the drugs that sedated her for so long, which had been a necessary evil...
Shantanu gripped the charts hard in his hands... his jaws grinding as she softly moaned and coughed.. asking for water as her throat was parched.. a normal reaction... the nurse slowly spooned some ice water carefully so as to not overdo it. She fell back into unconsciousness which was natural as physically her body was still under the after effects of strong sedatives... though Dr. Raichand had looked very pleased and he made several notes and smiled his blue eyes sparkling with a strange intelligence and knowledge...
This went on for another day but each time she came to... she remained semi conscious for longer bouts of more than 5-10 mins and each time Dr. Raichand made sure she responded to his questions... which she replied in a feeble weak voice... Each time she frowned trying to think of what was wrong with her... counter questioning Dr. Raichand who merely smiled and had once replied with his own quip.. "Oh on earth my dear..." to her "Where am I?" A smile had formed on Shantanu's face as his confidence in Dr. Raichand had risen threefold...
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There was an eerie silence after a sharp intake of her breath... Dr. Raichand had delivered the message in a soft voice to her.. He could feel her like a taut string stretched.. which could snap any moment now... she had held onto him.. clung to his hand and he wanted to tear the whole world apart... he could feel the raw pain slice through his veins... but he felt helpless as he felt the news sink inside... but she refused to accept it... "You have lost your baby Mrs. Khandelwal..." Dr. Raichand's soft compassionate yet bitter words rang in their ears... She had come out of the coma and was handling the treatment pretty good.. her injuries had now healed but the only point of worry had been that she still thought that it had just been yesterday that he car had spun out of control and nothing much had occurred...
The news had her at first glare in hatred at the man delivering it, she looked into her husband's eyes and accused him... as if saying.. 'How can you just sit there and let this man.. this unknown elderly gentleman say such rubbish about their unborn...' Dr. Raichand took in a deep breath a strange shadow appearing the brilliant blue gaze as he rose and left the couple some privacy to deal with their emotional state... He knew that Dr. Shantanu Khandelwal would need the strength for them both.. his wife and himself...
She slowly turned in his arms as he dry eyed gulped down painfully a lump already forming in his throat.. knowing that the pain will be too much for her to bear.. All the others were outside waiting to rush inside if need be... She asked with one look in her eyes as he for the first time in his life looked down.. away from the brilliant black.. which appeared lifeless... pain evident in them... as she gasped softly in a disbelieving voice... "Doc!!!! Please... tell me what Dr. Raichand said is not true... " At the same time one of her hands released his and went to clutch her lower abdomen in a protective gesture... "Pleaseee Doc... tell me TELL ME NOW... GOD DAMMIT..."
She looked desolately into his face as he raised his eyes and gazed into the black spitting coals which were the only spark that he felt in her weak form... as he slowly rose from the white and light blue hospital sheets... He took her hands in his huge ones and they were instantly lost... but she cringed visibly as his body language showed something which she did not want to believe... shaking her head slowly.. yet she wanted to hear something otherwise... he wordlessly looked deeply into her eyes and held her hands again and slowly in reverence went down on his knees at her side on the ground... and she in shock and apprehension waited as he gulped again and not breaking eye contact raised her hands to his forehead as he closed his eyes and spoke in a hoarse voice...
"Forgive me... my love... please.. forgive me.. I.. could not save... it...it.. is, it is true..." She jerked once but he held on to her hands at his forehead... knowing that she must be struggling to fight the acceptance... the pain... as she made a wild animal sound in her throat... "NOOO... you.. are lying... no.. it can't be true.. Not true.. tell me... Dr. Khandelwal, this is not a matter to joke about... " But when her eyes fell upon his as he slowly raised his head and looked into hers she knew... Dr. Shantanu Khandelwal never lied...
He was now in fear for her well being.. he knew that she could react in any way... he rose instantly to be at her side as she choked not able to breathe feeling a pain within... as she clawed at his hands which tried to soothe.. pushing them away... but he held her in the strength of his arms... trying to reach her... but she shook him off violently... at the same time making efforts to breathe but the sound came out like a cry... filled with pain deep within... "MY... BABBBYYY... NOOO... "
Radha cringed outside and clung to her husband whose eyes were moist as pain sliced through them all.. Madhavi too likewise Radha took refuge of Sunil's strength... Knowing that this situation would arise... each wanting to go inside to comfort the younger couple, but knowing that they needed the time and space for themselves... A couple of doctors at hand if they were needed... they too felt the pain from the room hearing the guttural animal sounds of her wailing... for their loss.
He grabbed her flailing hands as she hit him on his chest with balled fists... clawing at him.. crying out her pain... he bit hard on his lip drawing a little blood not heeding as he only wanted to soothe her... his eyes still were dry.. as she curled her fingers around his shirt collar and bunched it and in anger spat out at him.. "I want my baby back...!! Did you hear me doc!?!! I don't care.. I WANT MY BABY BACK NOWWW... " He grimly swallowed and his fingers closed over hers as he slowly gripped them hard, lending his strength to her as she swayed suddenly and he frowned in worry... as he softly yet firmly spoke... "Jingles... yes.. shhh... sh... shh... enough... shh... "
But she shook her head fighting the warnings her body was giving out... he knew that she was on the brink of losing her sanity and he had to make the call... as he in a flash pressed on the button that summoned the doctors who were on standby outside... Dr. Raichand who surmised the situation in a flash nodded and the doctor administered the sedative... Her eyes became a little heavy, her voice slurred as she still moaned for her loss... and Shantanu felt a raw pain tear inside his heart... He felt the firm hand at his shoulder as she slumped slowly into a blissful oblivion... Dr. Raichand murmured in an oddly hoarse voice... "Dr. Khandelwal... lets.. take a short walk..."
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A black oblivion enveloped her as she tried to fight the darkness trying to hold onto to her Doc's arms... as he soothed her brow and she found his familiar fragrance close to her as an assurance.. as his warm baritone smoothed the frayed nerves like a balm... and she fell back again like a lifeless rag doll... as she floated to another land where she saw herself happy in the arms of one man who mattered the most to her...
As the dark light gave way to a brilliant sun shine where she stood by the window in her room... fiddling with the mangalsutra in her neck.. a pain in her eyes rolling down as drops that resembled pearls that could be stringed in silk... She had dressed in a white saree... as it was tradition to do so on Holi... but her heart bled as she was not with him... On her first holi after marriage and he was not with her... Only on Dadi's insistence had she left Khandelwal house to come here to Radhakunj... she had not wanted to celebrate Holi as only two days ago their heated encounter in the shower had ended with him walking out to his hospital from where a note had come along with the contract as he had informed her that he was relieving her of her obligations... she was free to go an do what she wished...
She had cried for one whole day. Daadi had frowned and asked her why her eyes had been red and swollen and she had blamed it on some vague reason of conjucntivitis... But daadi had been wise and she made her call him on his cell. he had replied as she had called from daadi's cell. His monosyllables had her almost to tears but she bravely put up a smiling front for daadi's benefit... When daadi spoke to him she had frowned and said "Par Shaan, yeh Khanak aur tumhaari pehli Holi hain, shaadi ke baad.. aise kaise tum Delhi jaa rahe ho? Aur tumhe chod ke aur koi surgeon nahin hain kya?" She had felt devastated.. but she had maintained a happy countenance...
She sighed as she stood by her window and she thought of him... she did not blame him at all for his behaviour... she had delibeartely intended him to believe the wrong... she was covering up for her slip that morning in the shower... She closed her eyes as she remembered how close she had come to him that day... and she frowned 'He was a fine one to show his anger when all the while that she had been in his arms he was thinking of Natasha...' A sharp slicing pain through her heart made her close her eyes and refute her brain's reasoning.. She had not revealed to Manu either of what had transpired.. she could not.. Ma had looked at her with a frowning doubt.. but she had wonderfully covered that aided by daadi who had tried to find out if all was well between Shaan and her... She should feel happy for her friend as he had finally proposed to Mahi and she had accepted. They were to make the announcements official today as last night family had been informed...
Angrily she swiped her tear.. as if threatening for them to stop... but futile was her gesture as they flowed on... she jerked as there was a knock before the door opened and she thought that it was Mahi who had come to call her for holi and she angrily spoke without turning clutching her mangalsutra harder... "Mahi did I not tell you all... that I won't be playing Holi..." She then heard the soft closing of the door and breathed in relief thinking that Mahi must have left without trying to make her come... but was not in the least prepared for the soft prickle that always alerted her of his presence and she stiffened... as she felt him.. yet feeling a surprise go through.. 'You are imagining things Khanak.. it is your mind playing tricks.. because you are missing him today...' But something made her turn and there he was standing in the middle of her room... arms crossed over that huge expanse that was enveloped in a simply white kurta over blue jeans... Her heart stopped for fleeting seconds before thudding ahead to steam away full speed...
"Doc!! I.. I thought it .. it was.. Mahi.. I.. what are you doing here?" and she saw him move ahead... and with every step a thrill skivvied down her spine.. but she was confused by the intense look on his face... never in her life did she dream that she would see something in those eyes... but she crushed the hope.. With every word she spoke, he moved towards her as she tried to take a couple of steps back and hit the wall... He reached her not replying at all... his eyes boring into her very soul... as she said... trying to sound displeased and angry... "Stop right there.. just what in the world are you doing here?" He then wordlessly ignoring her, lifted his hand and looking into her eyes took her errant curl and tucked it back behind her ear and then slowly flicked one tear away with his finger as if he was performing a delicate procedure... and then in dedication wiped the other cheek.. She bit her lip and tried to move away when he caught hold of her arm and slammed her against the wall shocking her to speak.. "D.. Shantanu!!!"
Her heart racing wildly... confused by this surprise... What is going on... no answers to the millions of questions that popped... but most of all she was intensely aware of the fingers that were now holding her arm.. digging into hers causing pain... yet there was something else that thrilled her... She saw the three furrows appear then and heard him grimly ask her... "Doc.. I thought it was Doc for you.. so why the Shantanu bit now...You did exclaim 'doc'!?" She tried to move away but he trapped her... his hold on her arms tightening as she winced with pain... he frowned and asked.. "Why Jingles.. why did you do this?" She frowned but the pain taking precedence over confusion as she gasped her pain... "Aaah.. Docc.. it hurts!! An.. and I.. I don't know what you are talking about.. what did I do? You clearly told me to go away.. and I.. I precisely did that...You freed me from our bond... our agreement.. so what was the poin...oouch!!" He increased the grip even more as she said that and leaning more towards her spoke... his breath clashing with hers...
She could feel his heart thudding.. as he must feet her quickened breathing, he could see the pulse fluttering at the base of her neck.. and her face was construed as his grip become even more wincing... "Yes.. you know well how to run don't you!!!" But she tried once more to escape his grip.. "Let me go!! I don't know what you are saying.. and.. I.. I never ..r..run!!! And you are hurting me... let me goo... ouccchhh!!!" He spoke then... "Yes.. pain.. you feel pain.. then tell me... is my pain not felt by you! Can't you see. it.. in my eyes.. look Jingles.. and tell me what do you see.. what do you find there?"
That had got her attention.. as she saw.. her pain forgotten as his grip too slackened and she saw for a long time.. and then a little ray of hope lighting the black pools, making them look like two black pearls... but still the biting of her lip in agitation and disbelief stopped her from showing her joy.. she wanted to believe what she saw but was not able to... as he slowly then took one of his hands off from her arm and flicked it tenderly... slowly... across her brow as a tiny bead of sweat seemed to roll down and she closed her eyes as soon as his finger reached there near her eyes... her breathing palpably made in short gasps.. as she tried once more to push him away as she gasped.. "I.. don't understand.. I.. I don't know... what.. I see.. let me go.." But he merely pushed her back and said nearing her leaning his down so his face was near hers... eyes looking into eyes.. mesmerising.. warm.. screaming of something... "Jingles.. lets not play games.. Here is a deal... I ask you and you answer.. is that acceptable?" She had nodded slowly.. a gentle bobbing her head just once.. and he had continued.. as his finger now traced her brow... "Who do you love?"
Shock stiffened her even more.. and she felt like a taut string... her eyes open wide as she looked into his face which was following keenly the task of his finger which was busy tracing a pattern now on her forehead... as she gulped and squeaked.. "I.. I thought you.. know.. why this sudden inquiry" She tried to taunt.. but her voice failed to give the desired impression and her question ended in a short gasp as his fingers had come dangerously close to the corner of her lips... And he flicked her lips once before he looked into her eyes as he looked deeply into her own.. "Aah yes... your love... Manu right?.. Try again..." This time she froze and he stilled and again holding her arms in a wincing grip spoke "Yes... think again.. maybe I know.. the truth..." And something cleared in her face... a strange light entering her eyes as she gasped in shock.. "Know.. the truth?!" She felt like a parrot repeating him.. but he leaned even more closer as his face blurred out of vision and her eyes suddenly closed as she tried to protest in vain.. as his lips descended on her cheek... sliding as he rasped against her cheek "Yes... truth.. can. you tell me the truth.. for once Jingles.. say it..." And he heard her squeak in a soft wobbly and hoarse.. "Yoo..you.. sa.aay you... know.. it.. the ttt. ttruth.."
He completed paying homage to her face leaving her lips as her eyes opened and he leaned away and gently lifted his hand, his fingers completing their survey as they played with her nose and then descended towards her lips as she gasped and realised what the blazing browns were telling her.. And before she could say anything.. he placed his fingers against her lips as she murmured softly.. "Doc... " He looked one more time into her eyes and smiled and he remembered the look in her eyes.. she wore her heart in her eyes at that and he spoke in a soft hoarse reverence... "Yes... I know Jingles... love... of love... and today I tell you this.. and it is true.. I... Love .. you... Jingles.. I love you Mrs. Khanak Shantanu Khandelwal... I love you..." her gasp was smothered by his lips as he collected her into his arms.. he was lost, immersed in complete happy bliss, as she kissed him back.. no holding back.. no words.. no restrains... nothing was necessary.. retributions shall come later.. questions shall be asked, answers replied... but now was the time for love.. and feel that love.. Yes... love was in his arms.. in his life.. his wife.. his love... his everything.. His Jingles...
He had hardly given her time to recover when his hands held her tenderly as he leaned back...and looked into her love struck eyes and chided her and her eyes understood without anything said... her eyes moistened they overflowed in tiny wet trails on her cheeks.. as he groaned and leaned forward chiding her again more vocal this time... "Dammit Jingles.. you know I can't see you cry... Please..." She sniffed but hugged his chest and sobbed again as she stuttered... "I.. I.. am sorry..." He grinned in her hair and murmured.. "Wrong lines... try again... " She grinned at that her tears stemming finally and she slowly looked up shy to look into the darkened brilliance of the twinkling chocolates... as she bit her lip and before he could add anything she slipped out of his hold and strayed to the window... clutching the channels hard... She felt him saunter close behind her and gasped as she felt his hands slowly slide against her middle... her skin flaming there where he touched... and slowly he clung to her form placing his stubble roughened jaw at her soft shoulder and sighed... "Attitude.. attitude is all I get... for coming her wearing my heart on my sleeve... sigh I knew it Jingles... Miss oops.. correction.. Mrs. I-won't-swallow-my-pride"
She gasped her outrage at that and tried to angrily jerk herself out of his hold but he pulled her even more into his embrace the and she gasped as he planted a soft kiss on the bare skin between the curve of her neck and the material of her blouse... "Doc..." she could only moan helplessly as he sighed and spoke against the softness of her skin... "Say it Jingles... three simple words... say them... " She trembled but words failed her... She knew she had to simply speak them but she just could not.. shy and over whelmed with happiness... And to add to that his lips were dangerously traversing the line towards her neck and she felt her legs give way.. Had he not held her.. she would have for sure collapsed to the floor like jelly... They both jerked as there was a knocking on the door and she breathed in short gasps as she weakly called out.. "Who is it?" Only for her to gasp as Manu's voice boomed from the other end... "Is that sneaky doc of yours hiding there? Tell him I am here to give him tit for tat.. like hell he screwed my face up on the eve of my engagement.. Open this door before I huff and I puff and blow your door down!!"
Shantanu merely swore softly as she gasped and asked him "Doc!!! You.. you.. didn't..oh... my Gosh.. you did!!! Oh... stop that... stop laughing... GOSH.. What did you do to Manu?" As the banging continued outside she yelled at him... "Stop that will you.. Poore ghar ko yahaan bulaana hain kya..." And she turned to him as he lazily traced a pattern on her shoulder his chin still tucked at her shoulder... she tried to jerk out of his disturbing hold and slapped his fingers and asked in a soft voice trying to pretend anger but her voice failed her.. "Dr. Khandelwal.. stop that.. tell what you did!?" And at the he merely quirked his brow and said.. "Nothing that I should not have done.. I socked his nose..." Manu smiled as he banged again and she yelled back at him... "Stop that before I come and sock you too..." And turning to him she spoke in an awe.. "NOOO You did not... I don't believe you.. and why would you do that?" So he pretended to keep a straight innocent face and replied.. "Jingles.. tell me something... what would you do, if you find the man your wife 'supposedly claims to love' kissing another girl" She gaped at him with an open mouth a complete 'O' and he suddenly could not resist leaning forward and capturing her beautiful lips in a hard kiss...
The monitor was beeping as slowly she opened her eyes and they adjusted to the darkness.. Only a soft light was shining in the far end and the glare was shaded... she must have moved and instantly she felt him by her side jerk and speak softly... "Hey... Jingles.. easy there.. easy..." She saw his featured come into her line of vision and she softly spoke in a hoarse voice... her throat felt like she had swallowed sand... "Doc... water..." He leaned forward and gave her a sip as she sighed and he gently propped her up sitting behind her supporting her feather like weight against the broad expanse of his chest... He gently caressed her face and arms and she sighed... then the questions came along with the tears from one corner of her eyes as she closed his eyes and he let her gently throw it out of her system... patiently answering.. his eyes yet dry... knowing that he needed to be strong.. not yet... he needed his strength for them both... retributions shall come later... now was a moment only for togetherness and for love... for just being there for each other...
Thanks Heena...
