Malini and a tennis ball -- questions

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#1

had some thoughts yesterday but wanted to watch the episode before I comment. 

when I saw malini get frustrated with gudiya crying and display signs of frustration, it immediately popped into my mind 'postpartum depression' and a post I had read in a forum few years ago. we were discussing a drama and in relation to the character's depression, this member revealed her own struggle with postpartum depression and how she struggled to feed or take care of the baby. rather than wanting to hold or feed the child, a crying baby would made her want to shut down and walk out of the room. it was a two year struggle filled with counseling and medication before she could figure out how to bond with her child. 

P.S -- this was fun to research because I learned quite a bit. so sharing for general knowledge and just thinking/learning purposes-- all quotes in italics and purple font are from different research articles related to psychology and law



Q. is malini depressed? 

now we often have fixed ideas about depression and how they act -- sad, not getting out of bed, lack of sleep, not eating..... so I had the question if malini is depressed. I was a bit surprised by the research. 

what I found interesting is that in some people, depression can manifest itself as anger. men are more likely to display their depression as anger but women can as well. 

"Researchers ultimately found that people with depression were more likely to experience anger and irritability if they lacked the ability to emotionally regulate and ruminated on negative events." 

this in essense is what we see malini doing; she has focused so much on negative events that she experienced that she can't get out of. the question that comes -- is malini depressed or is she just angry? now, not all angry people are depressed and not all depressed people are angry. so how do we know the difference? that is a complicated question. 


Q. isn't she just vengeful? 

now we see her going about her normal life, working and planning with great detail on how to take revenge on imlie -- is she really depressed if she is able to function was a question I had. 

"Revenge involves embitterment, the sense of having been let down or victimized, coupled with a desire to fight back. Feeling helpless to do so then leads to fantasies of revenge or aggression.

Vengeful thoughts may arise in an attempt to protect the self from damaged confidence and self-efficacy, calm feelings of frustration, humiliation, and insult by settling the score between the victim’s suffering and the perpetrator’s actions, and offer a mechanism to regain power and stability.

Thoughts of revenge are especially likely in individuals who have been victimized and traumatized by others. They are more likely in individuals diagnosed with PTSD." 

so revenge, anger, depression and trauma can all be interlinked depending on the person and situation. in malini's case, the above description of revenge is quite apt. malini does have trauma related to her marriage with aditya and the subsequent breakdown. 

mayuri is a phenemenal actress because I see huge changes in the malini we saw when aditya was around and the malini we are meeting now. there is pain in her eyes that gives a sense of internal sadness. before she seemed like a woman angry that her marriage was breaking apart. now, her eyes convey a kind of empty sadness. the BGM also adds a kind of melancholic impending doom to her scenes. 


Q. how can she do that to her own baby? 

there were lot of posts that were wondering this question. as someone who had watched tons of crime docs, crime patrol, savdhaan india episodes, it wasn't surprising. so did some research into postpartum depression and some of it wasn't what I expected though I have seen lots of crime docs:

-- according to some research, "one in eight women experience symptoms of postpartum depression." this can start during pregnancy and then extend to post birth period. for some it triggers post birth -- some of it can be due to hormonal imbalances such as reduced levels of oxytocin (known as the 'love hormone'). 

"Thoughts of harming one's child are more common than psychiatrists often realize.14 A study of mothers of children younger than three years found that 41 percent of depressed mothers had such thoughts, as did 7 percent of controls." 

now not all depressed mothers end up acting on such thoughts but it is a sobering thought to realize how much women suffer in silence. we have these ideas of motherhood that drama characters sprout but it is complicated for many women. we need to acknowlege that it isn't easy and some women struggle more than others on their journey and it is more difficult for them because it is unexpected. they want to love their child but they may struggle. 




Q. how can depression affect mother-child relationships?

for some, the depression just results in anger towards their children. "Often in women it comes out as irritability, particularly with their children. This too may go undetected because sometimes, only their children see it, and children rarely call a therapist for their mother."

lot of people have very complex relationship with their mothers and are sometimes dissapointed at various points when they don't act the filmy way. however, when I read pyschology articles like this, it makes me wonder how many of those moms were just struggling emotionally and the children ended up taking the brunt of it.

-- in extreme cases, the depression leads to filicide -- where the parent kills their own child. it also should be noted that most filicides are muder-sucides as well. when it does happen, it is shocking but according to research, there are 5 reasons why a mother might kill her child -- 

"a) in an altruistic filicide, a mother kills her child out of love; she believes death to be in the child's best interest (for example, a suicidal mother may not wish to leave her motherless child to face an intolerable world; or a psychotic mother may believe that she is saving her child from a fate worse than death); 

b) in an acutely psychotic filicide, a psychotic or delirious mother kills her child without any comprehensible motive (for example, a mother may follow command hallucinations to kill); 

c) when fatal maltreatment filicide occurs, death is usually not the anticipated outcome; it results from cumulative child abuse, neglect, or Munchausen syndrome by proxy; 

d) in an unwanted child filicide, a mother thinks of her child as a hindrance; 

e) the most rare, spouse revenge filicide occurs when a mother kills her child specifically to emotionally harm that child's father."

in malini's case, it is anger towards aditya that is driving her hatred towards her own child. she also sees her child as a hindrance and unwanted -- just as she was unwanted in some ways...


Q. the law?

something I was surprised to find is that a dozen countries including India have specific laws related to infanticide. most infanticide laws are based on the 1922 British Infanticide Act (amended in 1938) and therefore you see it in lot of commonwealth countries including ours. this law means reduced penalty such as 10 years (manslaughter) as opposed to a full penalty related to muder. in most countries, this law covers the death of child up to 1 year old but there are some countries like new zealand where the law applies to child under 10 years old. so it varies. in places like US, there is no such law and instead, they use insanity defense in such cases. 

what the law in countries like ours shows is that post partum depression is taken seriously enough to have specific code for it. how often does it happen? add to cultural notes like preference for the male child, poverty, financial debt, child out of wedlock etc, it happens more often in our country than we probably realize. 


Q. what kind of villain is she? 

now back to my original questions -- is malini depressed? is she suffering from postpartum depression? is her anger and revenge related to her depression? 

I think we will have to wait and watch to get answers on whether we are getting a really complex villain or just a straightforward villain with malicious thoughts. 

enlightened -- in one of your posts, you had asked if malini can be redeemed and this is a question that has been running in my mind as well. I can see a partial redemption like how the law is applied where we have a reduced penalty. however, the answer depends on how complex the story writers want to go.

mayuri as an actress is doing something really interesting in her scenes -- it is very subtle, nuanced but there are signficant changes from malini v1.0. whether it is intentional as per script or just the interpretation of the actress is hard to say. 

the question is if the writers will go there and what they will do with it. in something like a crime patrol episode, we will have a crisp explanation under two minutes by the host. however a daily drama requires an arc and something like depression, post partum depression and filicide are very complex and something that is difficult to understand -- can the writers actually do something with it? not sure about the writers but mayuri as an actress is showing that she can certainly handle such challenges of portrayal. 

Edited by mango.falooda - 1 years ago

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sur91 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#2

Great post but I have a feeling that Gudiya is not her biological child. She miscarried her child or the child might have been a stillborn and she got an orphan for her revenge

Param-Sundari thumbnail
Posted: 1 years ago
#3

Nice write up and appreciate the research.

One question though, if say she's suffering from pp depression also, wouldn't there be a moment of softness and love for baby (say when the baby smiles?)


Now we can argue that we aren't shown everything yet, and we will have to wait for the arc to develop in order to conclude this.


But seems like they're showing malini like this in order to justify Imlie's obsession for gudiya. As long as baby was orphan, there was no need but after mother comes in picture, unless she's psycho like malini, imlie's obsession will not be justified.

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: sur91

Great post but I have a feeling that Gudiya is not her biological child. She miscarried her child or the child might have been a stillborn and she got an orphan for her revenge

yea I won't be surprised if the writers decide to just be filmy and go on such tracks. I think it would be easier to explain away her malicious intent with something like that. if it was her own child, then they have to go the dark side of psychology and I am not confident in the writers ability to be honest. I think crime patrol would do a better job. 😆. 

the CVs cheated us with aryan and his trauma over losing arvind. instead of a great arc, it randomly got cut short and am still annoyed about that. 

at the same time, I was just fascinated by how mayuri is doing some really subtle work where she is making her character far more complex. so this post is an appreciation for her work at the moment. 😊

mango.falooda thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: Param-Sundari

Nice write up and appreciate the research.

One question though, if say she's suffering from pp depression also, wouldn't there be a moment of softness and love for baby (say when the baby smiles?)


Now we can argue that we aren't shown everything yet, and we will have to wait for the arc to develop in order to conclude this.


But seems like they're showing malini like this in order to justify Imlie's obsession for gudiya. As long as baby was orphan, there was no need but after mother comes in picture, unless she's psycho like malini, imlie's obsession will not be justified.

to be honest, am not sure about your first question. based on my interaction with this poster from another forum and what I remembered from her story, she said she disliked her child intensely and it was super confusing for her and her husband because they went through IVF and many struggles to get this child. so I think it might depend on a case to case basis? 

yea, I do agree with you that they are most likely showing malini as psycho to justify imlie's obsession... however, I just thought I will post as food for thought that in the real world, it can be really more complex. it is good to be aware that motherhod is complicated for many and not as straightforward. 

sur91 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

yea I won't be surprised if the writers decide to just be filmy and go on such tracks. I think it would be easier to explain away her malicious intent with something like that. if it was her own child, then they have to go the dark side of psychology and I am not confident in the writers ability to be honest. I think crime patrol would do a better job. 😆. 

the CVs cheated us with aryan and his trauma over losing arvind. instead of a great arc, it randomly got cut short and am still annoyed about that. 

at the same time, I was just fascinated by how mayuri is doing some really subtle work where she is making her character far more complex. so this post is an appreciation for her work at the moment. 


Exactly it's all about abilities and itv writers don't have the abilities and sensibilities to showcase the complexities of human nature and pyschology. Whether it was Arpita or Aryan everyone's emotional trauma and it's after-effects was rushed so they can't show PPD which is such a fragile and taboo topic in our society 

sur91 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

to be honest, am not sure about your first question. based on my interaction with this poster from another forum and what I remembered from her story, she said she disliked her child intensely and it was super confusing for her and her husband because they went through IVF and many struggles to get this child. so I think it might depend on a case to case basis? 

yea, I do agree with you that they are most likely showing malini as psycho to justify imlie's obsession... however, I just thought I will post as food for thought that in the real world, it can be really more complex. it is good to be aware that motherhod is complicated for many and not as straightforward. 

I myself suffered from PPD and I can vouch that many a times you don't like your child, you see it as the reason why you can't do scwetain things or why your life has changed completely.

And anyhow it's itv everything is exaggerated here and if a person is a villain we are shown only negative things about them

Edited by sur91 - 1 years ago
MrinalR thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#8

Thanks for the tag. The post is well explanatory. Your efforts are admirable. 👏

After Malini's entry when I came know that she is trying to use her daughter I was wondering how much vengeful she is. Then after certain point postpartum depression thought did occur my mind too but by the fact that this is ITV I said better not put my mind in that. Because even I have heard of people who are close to me about PP and how much they sometimes hated the child. Here I felt sometimes she did suffer from PP but the effect got elevated because of her revenge. As you said she did concentrate only on the negative things that happened to her. But going by ITV standard what Sur says is possible that gundiya might not be her biological child. ITV can take turns anytime. But yes as usual Mayuri is doing exceptionally well in whatever she is given. Let's see what approach makers will take

livelytanu thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#9

I won't lie. Post partum depression thing has crossed my mind as well. Nice research. However this is ITV and everything is mainstream here. Nothing about mental health can be shown here. A person suffering from mental problem will be treated as evil. 

But yes even if Malini is evil I will still never understand Imlie's sudden obsession to be a mother to Gudiya. Everything is bent down and twisted to satisfy Imlie's actions in the show. 

sur91 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
#10

Originally posted by: livelytanu

I won't lie. Post partum depression thing has crossed my mind as well. Nice research. However this is ITV and everything is mainstream here. Nothing about mental health can be shown here. A person suffering from mental problem will be treated as evil. 

But yes even if Malini is evil I will still never understand Imlie's sudden obsession to be a mother to Gudiya. Everything is bent down and twisted to satisfy Imlie's actions in the show. 

That's the issue. It's not as if she is childless or can't have children of her own. She is 20 year old who is pregnant herself. Showing affection towards a kid is one thing and obsessing over them another.

But yet again in Imlie everything is rushed. In every episode Gudiya is shown just crying and no one to take care of her so at the end on whose shoulders would her upbringing fall?? Imlie 😒