why dahej ?

even without asking Aryan and narmada would've gifted Arpita a fully furnished mansion and two or three lambi gaadis other than a few other perks for Sundar and his family.. rest will be upto sundar to accept it considering it as gifts or reject it by seeing it as dahej, and Arpita whether she is ready to lead a typical middle class life or accept the things given by her family atleast till the time sundar becomes capable of getting those on his own..

so much fuss n humiliation to Arpita by making her sit on physical balance looked unnecessary 😴..

social reform message doesn't fit here.. imlie could have done all this in one of the marriage at pd where the bride's parents are made to provide more than their capability..

otherwise only the name dowry is out of use, it is still very much normal for well to do bride's families to provide either enough jewellery for their daughter or the luxuries which the groom lacks in his house but nothing in the name of dowry but as gifts for their daughter..

The thing is in now days we call it GIFTS because Dowry is not allowed by law.

We live in a society where people misuse this for their benefit. Narmada herself didn't mention giving anything specifically to Arpi UNTIL Nanda asked for it. That why its a big deal. Aru and Narmada giving anything without any pressure would have counted as GIFTS.

Everything imlie said was OP except weighing scale thingy. It was unnecessary.

Spot on..When two people are willingly getting married, whats the negotiation and deals..wow..I am totally against the dahej system. Everyone including Narmada should be punished for taking the word Dahej..

Whatever with the Jhula was so not needed.

Originally posted by: BlueJayFire

Spot on..When two people are willingly getting married, whats the negotiation and deals..wow..I am totally against the dahej system. Everyone including Narmada should be punished for taking the word Dahej..

Whatever with the Jhula was so not needed.

Dowry is still existing in our society on the name of Gifts in our society and that's the bitter truth 😑

"Apni beti ko hi denge joh bhi denge" that's very commonly used phrase to make parents agree to their demands 😭😭

Originally posted by: Wilddreams

Dowry is still existing in our society on the name of Gifts in our society and that's the bitter truth 😑

"Apni beti ko hi denge joh bhi denge" that's very commonly used phrase to make parents agree to their demands 😭😭

if it is only parents, that would be a different dynamic. however, there are both daughters and sons who feel that there is nothing wrong with dowry and it is their right. 🤷

and if parents don't give the right amount of 'gifts', then it becomes a problem....

Originally posted by: Wilddreams

Dowry is still existing in our society on the name of Gifts in our society and that's the bitter truth 😑

"Apni beti ko hi denge joh bhi denge" that's very commonly used phrase to make parents agree to their demands 😭😭

Yup thatz the new style being used by the bhikhariz nwadays 🤢🤬

in this case, even after all this dahej drama are the Rathores going to send their daughter empty handed? I think they will have to provide some or other means so that Arpita lives comfortably, let whatever name they give for it.. imlie or meethi can't say Arpita must be let to live with only what Sundar has..

Dowry issue is a fact. And it's one of the evils of the society from many decades. It's good they are talking about it.

But like the class difference issue at the reception, they are not executing it how it's supposed to be. Just like reception wasn't the good time to address that issue similarly this scenario isn't that appropriate. Magar cvs kahin se Kisi bhi baat ko jorr lete hain. It would have been better if imlie did it some other time.

Also that's a valid point that what means sunder has of right now to provide for Arpita?

Does he have his own house? Aise main Rathores do need to aid their daughter. Since she is in love🤪 and is hell bent on marrying sunder even after knowing how horrible her saas is. At least do something to appease the devil. I mean it's not the solution, but what other solution is there?

Aur imlie ka tou I don't even have words. She needs to be pathkofy from her high horse seriously. She endorsed sunder Arpita wedding and now no dowry? Sometimes I feel like slapping her and all the people around who give in to her whims even Aryan, who is supposed to keep her in check but instead lets her run around like a khulla sandh😡

I have mixed feelings about dowry. there was a time when I was very anti-dowry but then I also met people (both men and women) who were in favour of it and I had no idea how to react to such feels. 😕 from the women's side, the argument was that the dowry was the only they could get their share of inheritance. as for the men, they shared that since they spent so much on their sisters, they felt they needed to get personal compensation for it in their own marriage. 🙄

now practically as you point out, some couples will need a helping hand if they don't have the resources to set up a comfortable life. if the expectations are that parents are to help out in setting up an independent house, then is it not better to convey that before hand? the issue is whether the family can afford it or not...

in this case, even without asking, the rathore family would have provided all the necessary items. however, nanda's list was actually for herself and she was planning to take everything back to wherever she crawled from is my impression. so it wasn't like she was planning to live with sundar or have those items be set up for him. (at least that was my understanding)

also am assuming that neither sundar or arpita are leaving the show which means they will end up back in rathore mansion after their wedding. so once nanda does some drama, she will be written out as well.

so yea on one hand, I see how imlie is right but on the other hand, the practical difficulties is that arpita can't be expected to live without the basic comfort she has grown up with. 🤷 it makes for good tv if nothing else...

Originally posted by: mango.falooda

I have mixed feelings about dowry. there was a time when I was very anti-dowry but then I also met people (both men and women) who were in favour of it and I had no idea how to react to such feels. 😕 from the women's side, the argument was that the dowry was the only they could get their share of inheritance. as for the men, they shared that since they spent so much on their sisters, they felt they needed to get personal compensation for it in their own marriage. 🙄

now practically as you point out, some couples will need a helping hand if they don't have the resources to set up a comfortable life. if the expectations are that parents are to help out in setting up an independent house, then is it not better to convey that before hand? the issue is whether the family can afford it or not...

in this case, even without asking, the rathore family would have provided all the necessary items. however, nanda's list was actually for herself and she was planning to take everything back to wherever she crawled from is my impression. so it wasn't like she was planning to live with sundar or have those items be set up for him. (at least that was my understanding)

also am assuming that neither sundar or arpita are leaving the show which means they will end up back in rathore mansion after their wedding. so once nanda does some drama, she will be written out as well.

so yea on one hand, I see how imlie is right but on the other hand, the practical difficulties is that arpita can't be expected to live without the basic comfort she has grown up with. 🤷 it makes for good tv if nothing else...

I am anti-dowry. But i also know that there are always two sides of a coin. While I resent how it becomes an obligation for the parents who can not afford to give more than their capacity and how it is associated with the girl's status, value and treatment in her sasural.

I also realize that on practical ground, some couples do need support from their families. There's nothing wrong in that.

I know Nanda wanted it for herself. That's why I said it isn't the solution, but let's just appease the devil and let her crawl back to whatever hole she emerged from.

And I feed Narmada is also following the same strategy. I know it's wrong, infuriating but I totally understand her.