AkDha SS: Yeh Laal Ishq /Last Chapter 12b page 45/

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surbhimathur

@surbhimathur

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: SUMESHNI
Awesome start
Plz plz plz continue soon

Thank you :)
Ya i will :)

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surbhimathur

@surbhimathur

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: shahbhavini
. OMG !!! What a superb writing👏👏👏... U R an awesome writer...amazing... I will update my comment in detail soon !!!

Entire chapter mind blowing... Please continue soon... Can't wait for more...

I loved how Jalal realized his mistake and pure mehel ko Jodha ki khoj me laga diya...All of the emotions perfectly portrait ... First two paragraph written beautifully... all the even happened in the serial but then after ... I really enjoyed that cute couple ... and their talk in sweet lango... superb!!! Your writing skill is amazing... One request ... can you please give us littler longer chapter...

Update soon... Please continue...and don't forget to pm... Thank U👏👏👏

Wow thank you so much for such a big comment! I am so overwhelmned!
Definitely i will give a big chapter now for you :)
Thanks again :)

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surbhimathur

@surbhimathur

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: _Deepika_
Res

baby i will edit it tonight ...its grt to see u writing on AkDha 🤗

________________________'''

Hey Baby🤗

Loved loved loved the beginning ...his pain ..her agony ... beautifully described...loved his frustration about his behavior towards her

Jodha taking shelter in the villagers house came as a pleasant surprise...their convo and nok-jhok reminded me badal-kajari during Salim Chisty trip...loved the Rajastani touch...

His love is expressed through guilt..hers is through pain ...beautiful start...

Once spoken, then those words can never be retained.

True...hope to see a touching confrontation and confession😳

PS- LOVED THE TITLE❤️

Love
Ur DD

DD 😃🤗
Awww thankyouu :') I am glad that you liked it.
Love you alot se bhi zyada!

I will try and reach your expectations :)

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surbhimathur

@surbhimathur

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: RaniShanthappa
Update pls & pm me

Thanks for the comment :)
sure!

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surbhimathur

@surbhimathur

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

Chapter: 2

It was deep dark, moon brightly showed up in the sky bestowing its light upon a beautiful woman walking beneath the stars. Jodha was aimlessly walking towards the empty path, her brown orbs were immersed in sadness, the fact of she being all alone sent shivers down her spine. "Kaash yeh sab na hua hota shenshah, kaash hum sab kuch badal paate...kaash.." Small drops of tears filled her eyes and she closed them, soaking in the pain. But still one of them managed to roll down on her cheek. How she wished to find peace in her mind but her heart was battling over and over. Unknown of the fact that her heart had already stayed back in the palace she continued to fight for it.Her head ached and she stopped for a second to look at her surroundings. From where she could see a river was there, she walked closer to have a look at it. The beautiful sight left her awestruck and her reflection was flashing in the dark blue water. She settled herself comfortably near the river and folded her hands around her knees then slowly rested her face on it. It was a winter of despair.

A man was staring at the moon, his eyes full of tears. He wished to see her once, just once so that he could apologize and bring her back into his life. The whole day he was riding on horses and desperately searching for his love, his wife jodha but all his searches went in vain. "Jodha begum waapas aa jaiye hamare paas... nahi reh sakte hum aapke bina...bas waapas aa jaiye aap.." a small tear found the way out and he carelessly hugged his cheek while he heaved a sigh. He was walking on the raw road all alone in deep thinking when he heard some noise from behind and turned immediately to see..but there was nobody around. BAM!! Jalal froze. He was in his own world when somebody out of nowhere smacked him hard on his head from behind and then his vision faded.

Jodha was shamelessly staring at the river, the water was shining like a diamond in the ocean.She could feel the fresh air on her face and some drops of water too, landing on her face after getting hit by the rocks. Suddenly she heard some noise from left side of the river and she raised her eyes to see the view, and her mouth instantly settled for a curve upwards. Her eyes brimmed tears and she led them drop while admiring the scenario. Few weeks ago she was playing with her soul son rahim in the water and by mistake she had thrown water on shenshah. She giggled amidst her tears while imagining his face, he was looking like a shocked kid. The time spent with him, their memories together were still fresh in her heart. How much she tried to ignore them, they pounced back with the same intensity. "Kitna bhi kasht utha le hum..par khudko aapse dur nahin le jaa paayenge shenshah...aapse prem karne lage the hum par lagta hai hamari kismet mein kanha ji ne akele jeevan vyateet karna likha hai..ek pavitra rishte ki dor si thi hamare beech, par uss raat who bhi toot gayi" she swept the tears off her face and stood up to go back home.
The sky grew wider and wilder, spreading the lightening above while making shrilling sounds. Jodha walked in haste but soon she could feel drops of rain on her face and all over. It started raining like cats and dogs. She stopped and looked right left for help but sadly there was no single shadow around. Her heart started beating fast and she ran for her safety, the wind was taking her away and she slowed down. "Kanha hamari madad kariye...nikaaliye humei iss toofan se.." she pleaded while closing her eyes. Wait! She opened her eyes and what she saw was not usual..."Yeh kaha aa gaye hum? Yeh toh wo raasta nahin tha..." and she quickly surveyed all the directions but to her much disappointment every way seemed to be the same for her. This was the first time that she on her own was completely lost and that too in an unknown place. "Hum kitne moorkh hai...kaise raasta bhul gaye hum...ab kya kare.." she started talking slow steps towards the left open way...but she was deeply scared from within. She clutched her pallu over her head and curiously went ahead, maybe she will find something. Her gut feeling asked her to follow this path and well she had no other option left so she moved towards that way.

Jalal was lying unconscious on the path...due to heavy rains his whole body was drenched in water. He was a fighter and the ruler of the mughal sultanat, yes it took him late to realize what he has lost in his life while achieving all these things but at this point of time his priorities had changed...his heart yearned for only one thing and one person, the love his life...jodha!

She came to an open area...near to a forest. A ray of hope lit up in her head, she sighed!
"Kanha kaash humei koi mil jaaye yaha...kripya kijiyega" and she started walking and looking here and there for someone..
"Koi hai??" "hamari madad kijiye!"
She saw somebody lying in the path. She walked closer to see his face but it was facing the ground.
"ye kaun vyakti hai..."
She bended a little to see his face but failed, so she held his hand carefully and slowly turned him around.

Guys i hope you liked the update :) Tell me if i should continue it or not. Your feedback means a lot to me! So please like and comment 😊

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shahbhavini

@shahbhavini

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

Amazing update...Again I am speechless... U R writing is really outstanding...Love Jalal and Jodha both of them emotion... In nature description I have no words... U imagination is beautiful...Superb!!!👏👏👏

Edited by shahbhavini - 11 years ago