Guide to Parenting by Shilpa Sharma MESSAGE pg37 - Page 9

Originally posted by: Mou.

sabah...i wrote 3 times for step -3.& three times power cut.so couldn't post it.......😔. I feel honoured that you kept trying. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
okk, now coming to step -3........
We all say shipa sharma is a unique parent.......different than others but she has all the qualities of a regular mom also.like from one single expression of her son's face....she can tell abt his mood. At one look she can tell something happened with her son.Its like the universal quality that all moms hv.No one loves you like your mum. She studies every detail of you from the day you were born, who else is going to notice the subtlest infraction upon the calmness of your form.

Look ather opening the door.noticing his wet cloths, she teased him first,then her friendly curious self.........took a back seat & mom self took control...she remain calm.&mayank fall for it..Wonderful analysis, 😆.first he told him abt going out with nupur in beach to cheer her up...well, shilpa aunty knew it very well that is a huge thing for her son.a change was coming to him.& she could sense it very well.as a mom....but she didn't react much.coz she knew mayank is yet to discover that change....She never forces him to do anything, only ever guides, nudges. She wants him to understand the reason behind doing things, find the correct and sincere intention and then follow through with the action NOT just blindly obey her without knowing why other than 'because mum said so'
So, she pushed it a little bit more for mayank....."kaun nupur?"....he fall for it again.he reminded her abt nupur..& then the mom Shipa aunty took the maskof a teasing friend..& the whole "date per beach,beachper date".convo happened.(this i consider one of the funniest moment of mjht)I agree and it is the chemistry of Mayank and Shilpa Aunty that their rapport is so graceful and slick. .......I feel she was just trying to aware her son a bit.regarding the storm name nupur that he was abt to hit him.yet she wanted him to realize it himself...so, she did it in the best way she could....give her son a clue.ahead of time.mentioning the "date" thing.You don't mean the fruit?(sorry favourite line from a tv show)😆😆😆

yes...shipa sharma.is like any other caring mom,but with a very non regular approach .....which made her different than all the mother..& mayank is sure a lucky shild to hv her in his life.We have all been blessed, I know that I am a better person for having had the privileged to have witnesses her beauty even if was only reel, I cannot deny that real beauty, that endeared me to them all.

& sabah! No thanks to u for this post.now it is ur duty to post the steps here......😆.I concur! 😆& i will cherish my fav shilpa aunty & mayank's scene here....So mysterious, keeps us on our toes!.so, i m waiting .for step-4 now.Me too! I wonder when it will be out.😉

Originally posted by: Senny

Hey Sabah,

Wowwwwww this game of semantics had me rolling and rolling within the intricacies of language. I love language and the endless possibilities of style. I love the feelings it can engender and I love those thoughts that erupt like thunder. I agree it is always better to remain quiet rather than attempt to be a part of the battle when the defeat is definite hehe. Mayank's self denial is so endearing, he tries so hard, in earnest. On a serious note no matter how much one denies or tries to disregard it, parents do end up the triumphant ones They have the upper hand, we are always playing catch up. but then again its not with all children-parent relationships, its only with some strongly bonded relations with the room to breathe and openly talk, which sadly is not so common man, at least i have rarely seen such beautiful relations.I agree, it is so sad. However it gives me hope that no one is ever cut off. Each one of us can begin again. Not to bore you, but I will give you my own example. My father spent a lot of time at work so I never had a relationship with him. In his retirement, I have slowly, slowly, tried to build that bond and now I have one of the best father -daughter relationships, not at the Mayank/shilpa Anty level today but who knows what tomorrow will bring! Their example has made me not only set the bar at another level but made me imagine that such a bar could exist.

For me one of the best things about movies, books, tv shows or 'the arts' is that they can be inspirational as well as enjoyable. What blessing, what gift to have touched the very souls of those you wish to amuse!

I loveeeeee this scene, it was my utmost favourite, I say that about which ever scene I happen to be watching. I love the way Mayank indeed is confused about everything, he wants to spill the beans but not all of them like some of them, he really opened up to his mum only so he couldn't take it but mention about N even later while they were sitting comfortably and had greeted eachother. The matter could have ended before but then Mayank himself was the one trying to get the cat out of the bag hehe.He tries in earnest to play the truth card, as he truly believes that truth beats everything else. What he doesn't realise is that Aunty too is intending to play the truth card. It isn't hiding up her sleeve, for that would not befit truthfulness; unbeknown to him, it is residing in his heart.

I loveeeeee the way she teases him and he gets caught.You feel so sorry for him, and yet you laugh all the same. We don't laugh at him, but with him, it just takes time for him to catch up!

I loved what Divz and you discussed ahead, I agree firstly that M's honesty is his strength but also a trait which can be used against him at times, like to get information out of him when he wishes not to disclose certain matters and feelings. Out of the three trait I am looking for in a man, honesty is number one. Unfortunately most things deceive me let alone human beings.

I am confused about N as well, although I think the way the track was early on progressing, things and the way N would have realised would have been different but then for me that flow was disrupted alittle and this mystery still remains, as she was the only one who could understand him like the best after Mayank's mum and she should have got the hint earlier. She was the only one whom he had been so close to after his mum, as he had no real friends per say, neither did he see any need for it. Well then i guess love is and will remain an enigma itself, realising is one thing and accepting is another, there was no gap for N as such though. That was beautifully expressed. Love is that chemical ingredient that is so volatile and yet so benign; so sudden and yet so lingering; so palpable and yet so veiled. It affects us all so varyingly that no one can foretell its effects.

I think when this scene took place, Shilpa was only considering and wished for N to be his ally to make him enjoy life the way he doesn't do and normal teenagers would, as she didn;t want M to miss on this aspect of enjoyment.I agree. The important fact isn't that this is the first girl in Mayank's life, the important fact is this is the first human being in Mayank's life outside his mother that he has cared for. Love has so many colours, it isn't only black and white. (or even the grey that most people would have you wallow in😭)

Thanks butterfly, always a pleasure. I hope step 4 will be that nectar rich wildflower that entices you to flutter over for a peek.😳

Originally posted by: a little faith

@mou "& i agree as far as Nupur is concern..they didn't show it .she understand him but u c she has to learn it everyday, she has to try ,put effort to know him.through their days together, which for shilpa aunty was not the case.......she is a mother, she knows him before he was bron na!"

Excellently noted. I agree! Thanks for that insight. I am going to need that sharp inner insight of yours for step 4 since I have more issues and questions! If you don't mind sharing and enlightening me.

Originally posted by: nayamjht

hey sabah.....sorry being soo late here
actually sorry dil se sorry... duniya mein jitne sorry hain utne sorry!!Your not late, you are just in time!

oh my god what a "beautiful" thread..(i chose not to use awesome or anyother such adjective because it is actually " beautiful") as beautiful as vaishanvi mcdonald and shilpa aunty.. as beautiful as arjun and mayank sharma!!!They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but in some cases, such as Mayank and Shilpa Aunty, the beauty is irrepressibly undeniable.
aiyse idea's mujhe kyun nahi aathe yaar????!!!😉

note/reminder/convention.. i ll try my best not to mention here as much as possible as to how mjht has become now/how mayank has changed now/ how much i feel sad about it etc etc... becos i have said enough and i m tired off it!!!That is actually why I started this thread, since Shilpa Aunty and Mayank's relationship is relatively left untarnished. I can watch their scenes without such sadness, maybe only regret at potential that was lost.

thanks soo much for starting this thread because it gives me a chance to share my thoughts on those beautiful days/moments of mjht during which i was not part of the forum and i didnt have the opportunity to express it anywhere.. but thanks to you now i can...Thanks to Mayu and Shilpa Aunty, the boundless treasure.

soo many have said soo much... what should i say now??? i feel the pressure of having to write very well and living up to the standard of all those who are writing here....i ll not try consciously and cautiously to right well.. i will write how it comes to me naturally and i will only hope i m good enough..!!Be yourself. I respect substance over form. There is only an emptiness, an odd after taste in form without meaning, without heart nor soul nor intention. Let your inner light out Naya, because it is exceptional. 👏

honestly sabah..i couldnt read all the replies here.....i have just read a few. so i may repeat a point already said and discussed here...if u have already posted an opinion on what i have said...then just give me the link to that post.. no need to right it again...:)Repeat is good. How many instances where I hear the same story but learn from it something new.

coming to the point.... i always felt... mayank and his mom's chemistry is more rocking than mayank and nupur's chemistry..!! it never ever looked to me they were acting.. thanks to the skills of the actors in question--Arjun Bijlani and Vaishnavi Mcdonald. I agree. Truly their chemistry is mind blowing and yet calming. i feel nostalgic now whenever i see these scenes much like how we feel watching old photographs and videos of our child hood or school/college etc.This is so beautifully expressed. Thanks for sharing!
i remember arjun telling once that he shares the same type of relationship with his mom in real life too.... may thats showing onscreen as well... having said that its still not easy to potray the characters as they have.... soo subtle yet soo natural..!! they are soo different from each other yet same....!!!The limitless beauties of the human soul, even in their similarities there is uniqueness to behold!

the way his mother understands what he's going through even before he does simply shows the simple theory that everyone knows---- you cant hide anything from your mother!!!

another interesting aspect is that nupur and shilpa aunty are very similar in their characteristics...and both of them are different from mayank. so u may note that the women mayank loves the most in his life are those who are very different from him.... this shows another important point about real life("lesson" if i may call it)... often we are fascinated by someone who is very different from us....who sees life in a different light... who see things in a perspective that you never thought of.. to put it simply.... you often tend to like the person who "completes" you!! this may not be right for all but atleast all the stories of "opposite attract" have this implicit message!!!The Chinese say that things are completed by their opposites. I agree to a certain extent, that I appreciate love because I have witnesses hate. I love the flourishing souls for I have also witnesses its living death. However people are different there is something to be said about people who are 'just like you' too. Then again, whenever I see those traits I lack, but wish for ardently, in another I become infatuated by them, I stand in awe and I cannot deny that I want to be near them, close to them and those traits.

the scene in step one was just a trailer of things to come wasnt it??Yet, it still didn't prepare me enough.
the step 2 only reiterates the fact how good the actors are.. like you mentioned about stuffing oranges like she had been doing it for ages!!!(hey thats a rhyme..oranges..ages...:))
and even the way mayank is talking while eating the orange was soo natural!!! and your description of how mayank becomes parent and shilpa becomes child and vice versa was fantastic... i have nothing more to say on that...!!!Hey, all credit to to the inspiration. When I am not inspired, my writing, my thoughts are like the scum which forms upon the ocean.

the scene in step 3.. i donno how many times i have seen it... the way she nicely makes him fall into her trap with "date par beach...beach par date" thing... amazing!! so real so natural... infact most of us like mayank's part of the story in mjht because it is very real and they represent a typical middle class family which most of us do and hence we can relate to them easily...Those things that are truly worth obtaining in this life are accessible to all. Poor or rich, king or pawn, girl or boy. We all carry the same means, our miraculous hearts and mysterious souls. sometimes even when the situations seemed unreal.. their reaction to them was soo much real...!!not only their dialogues and relationship but also their home,how the things are arranged, their wardrobe and everything...!! Beauty is in the details.
i also loved this point---" The moderate living accommodations of Mayu and his mum overflowing with their love as opposed to Samrat's large mansion which even though it is filled to the brim with all modern day amenities remains strangely empty."
a huge round of applause for that sabah...👏 MJHT is overflowing with such poignant, subtle and important messages. As in real life, if you look for it you will find them.


you know... i m soo tempted to go ahead and mention some of the scenes of mayank and shilpa aunty which come to mind now.... but i ll wait... wait until you mention them...i would not like to invade your post....:)Mention away. I have given permission in my first post to be as 'Nupurish' as you wish. No rules, no regiment. We can repeat and discuss over and over and over. I will keep adding ordered posts to give some kind of structure. We need both, both Mayank's order and Shilpa and Nupur's penchant for disorder.

anyways thanks again for this "beautiful" topic sabah... i will be looking forward to this topic everyday from now and will be a regular here from now on...!!! u have soo many fans to this post now....and hence u have a huge responsibility...... i m not trying to make you jittery because i m sure you ll rock and surprise us with every new post!!!! keep going....!!!!😊Just so you know, I AM full of trepidation. I don't mind if I fail myself, if my offering reduces everyone's opinion of me or my writing, BUT if I fail to do justice to the beauty that is Mayu and Shilpa Aunty, EVEN if it is my best, I will never forgive myself.

Therefore, please if everyone can give me a little more time, hopefully until the end of this week, because the next steps are fragmented and yet so very deep. I am taking my cue from the tortoise, slow and steady wins the rest.

P.S:
hey sabah... the lines.. "to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand , to be loved as to love with all my soul".............are from the song "make me a channel of you peace" ....right?? we had it as a prayer song in our school.... brought back memories... thank u for that too......:)Yes it is. I remember when I first heard it a while back. That moment my heart and soul vibrated along to the beauty of these melodious words. Up until this point, I never understood empathy, that O' so vital trait!

love
naya Love you too!

Originally posted by: Senny

Hey Sabah,

So well put man. I am throughly amaxed and as always intrigued by the way you bring so many new aspects and make the readers see your thoughts so clearly. I just feel i am talking to you in person Sabah, Trust me, the honour is all mine. To be made welcomed, to feel yourself at home, is so rare these days. Most of the time I feel alienated.

I agree there are so many scenes which are my utmost favourite, almost all of them as i form a connection in one way or another, until and unless I don't form a connection, I just can't enjoy and get inspired from the work.I agree. There is nothing wrong in those things that make me laugh just for the moment, but there is no impact upon my being, my soul. Those things that make me laugh, cry or ponder, with meaning, with heart and soul, they are relatively like...
...that smiling face in the dreary commuter crowd.

Wowwww so well though about books and movies entertaining us and as well as inspiring us. What is a more better way to learn then to enjoy the way of studying, the lessons learnt that way are always and shall always be remembered well.They is vast potential of beauty in our souls to aid us in sugar coating the most difficult of lessons. Shilpa Aunty portrays one of the best examples I have ever come across. She 'teaches' her son in a manner that makes him 'want' to know more. She moves at his speed, gives words of encouragement at his level. She never yells, screams orders. She disciplines and shows her disappointment through loving concern.

I agree, its never too late, we can begin any day, relations esp of this level, i am yet to find in reality and I have to find that person whom i can take this step with. You are very lucky to have your father with you, even if one parent is there, a child still gets the kind of comfort and protection which he or she requires.I thank God every day that he gave me this opportunity to make amends. I know so many children who regret their relationships with their parents, and now it is too late. However it is never too late to try by means open to you. If you can't be the loving child then be the loving parent. Adopt, foster or just be the best Aunt ever!

I loveeee the way you referred to Mayank and his mum's war of semantics and the best part being that they both fight this battle earnestly. I agree M did laugh along with his mum and us but only in due time. He probably laughs with the other two ladies in his life, CJ and Tamana mam. I love the way, with the exception of Samrat, all his good influnces where ladies. Even Shilpa's barsister friend ( i have forgotten her name😳, was is Lolita?) was a woman. He sees them as his peers, his equals NOT the 'opposite' gender, can't understand them, won't understand them attitude of some men.

I agree about Nupur, that was one of the most vital aspect which i missed was of care, that he not just bothered but deeply cared about a person other than his mother.Again what I love about Mayank, he is very level headed, a trait seen in Shilpa Aunty. They take people for what they are, not their forms. To be unbiased in this manner is no small feat. Especially, as depicted, they led a difficult life. They don't begrudge their misfortunes upon others.

I am sure that step 4 will be that nectar rich wild flower that would attract me to flutter again and again.Just pray to God. AND remember BE HONEST, and i mean Mayank level of honest. For the sake of the respect and honour these two beautiful characters deserve.

God bless you Sabah!