Guide to Parenting by Shilpa Sharma MESSAGE pg37 - Page 7

Awwwwwww Sabah your words always make me smile and touch me so much, how can i not be thankful to you for making me look at the world from your eyes so beautifully.

Butterfly

"I lovee the way he maintains his dignity and always the dignity of the other person, it certainly is rare to find and able to view it so clearly!"

This is such a beauitful compliment, that even though he might never know, I am certain its sincerity has added to the beauty of his soul.

I truly hope you are correct about Arjun, there are so few people with humility...

Vaishnavi's beauty is upon another level, another realm entirely, almost heavenly. The combination of this and Shilpa aunty's inner beauty is piercingly bright that I cannot fathom any type of defense.

Sabah

Awwwww Sabah, i always feel that the inner traits or a side of any actor always comes out, this is something very rare too and i have noticed this in only few actors thats why i just can't help but love them, this is what i have always noticed in shilpa aunty indeed, she is a beauty and her inner beauty always comes out in the open.

Originally posted by: a little faith

I loved your take on this, and in turn made in think too...

You know the saying behind every great man is a great woman. I truly believe that in the majority of cases that woman is a mother. One of my favourite aspects of Asian cultures is their impressive respect of elders. They are many examples were famous and renowned figures are given titles of 'son of' or 'daughter of'. I love how in the Quran, Esa is honoured by nearly always be referred to as 'son of Maryam'; that one of his honours was that he was the son of a great woman. One of my favourites 'mother' Teresa. (Please feel free to add other examples from other cultures too, to expand my knowledge and database; for how else am I to ward off an existential crisis?) Can anyone name other great mother/parental whether fictional or non fictional role models. There is Debo's mum and of course all your mothers too.😳

I agree Asian cultures attach importance to Mothers and the use of "son of..."name of mother" " is common even in hindu mythology where characters are often termed as ..Arjuna, the son of kunti or Krishna, the son of Yashoda.. (his step mother) or devaki nandan (meaning the son of devaki his bilogical mother) . There are countless other cases such as these :)

I would say Mayank should rightly be called the son of Shilpa Sharma:D

Unfortunately there is a modern trend to disregard the wisdom of the past, tainting it all from the imperfections therein, whereby we throw out the baby with the bathwater.

For me Shilpa Aunty encapsulated a perfect blend of past wisdom and modern sensibilities of a single mother. She is my role model.

Its amazing how this character shaped up in a show like this :) Youth show format doesnt reserve much space for older characters yet shilpa aunty is a miracle

I asked Nandita "If the human heart is capable of imagining such a character, then it is also possible for it to become such a character?"

She replied the most wonderfully perfect answer which I would like to post here (although I should mention we were talking about Mayank, however the answer is quite universal)

it sure is possible....but not easy one .... it takes too many restriction of self and limitations too...tagged with it principles one lives for and yearning to soar high but still be rooted .......... all this goes in the basic foundation of such an character...
but in this super fast and insensitive age hardly anyone takes this long route of self making... they rather choose the easy way out... cool is what they want to be not an idealist...

Thats a perfect explanation. Cool is rather over-rated for I can say being idealistic is Cool which is y I love Mayank..he is not conventionally "cool" but is ideal , so very cool :D

Divya,

"the use of "son of..."name of mother" " is common even in hindu mythology where characters are often termed as ..Arjuna, the son of kunti or Krishna, the son of Yashoda.. (his step mother) or devaki nandan (meaning the son of devaki his bilogical mother) . There are countless other cases such as these :) I did not know that. Thanks a million for that priceless insight. I have always found that when you believe in a concept, theoretical as it may be, if you look for sincerely for truth, you will always find examples of corroborating evidence whose light is undeniable.

Butterfly,

The best thing about Mayank and Shilpa Aunty's beauty, their relationship is that in a world which destroys true beauty, makes it hard to be honest, even true to your own self, they give us encouragement, motivation and guidance to live and love to the best of our means and abilities.

It is for this priceless gift, I cannot forsake MJHT in its hour of need.

OK, I should have step three out by tomorrow, taking my cue from Shilpa Aunty, I am going to change the tempo!

Sabah

That is so true Sabah, this world, it can be as cruel as ever and the most beautiful place, much depends on how we view it, this relationship of Mayank and his mum made it view so intricately and beautifully and so did your posts, please let me thankyou, this is a trait of mine which comes out naturally, if i don't say this, i feel i am being unfair and feel incomplete na.

I am changing the tempo of this one; short and sweet! I'll let you lead the dance of the discussion on this beautiful scene. I have provided a beat on which you may tap along...

Step three - Nit-picking.

One of the greatest weapons in the Parent's arsenal is nit-picking or semantics. The careful and intricate study of signs and relationships of your child's words and actions and their underlying meaning, especially if the child does not perceive it themselves, or does not want to perceive it. In either case they will earnestly strive to keep it hidden.

{Lesson three By Mayank. Never get into a war of semantics with your parents. You will lose. Your only defence is to remain pedantic. The subtle but not insignificant difference between the two will be your saving grace. Seek refuge there; between the study of meaning and the study of trivial detail.}

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO6SrYaQzxY[/YOUTUBE]

Again due credit to Shilpa Aunty's parenting skills; the master of chaos theory 'physics' with a PhD in the minutiae of life; she pinpoints the significant aspect of the insignificant detail in her son's life. The 'why' of his beach expedition would not garner as comprehensive an answer as the 'with whom' which would not fail to reveal.

Then she begins the subtle game of semantics, which pedantic Mayank tries to cut short through truth trumping suspicion. His tactic fails, since Shilpa Aunty has already turned the tables on him. Her words say I agree with you, but her smile, her effervescent charming playfulness say something else. Pedantic Mayank realises that she has indeed turned the tables, by pulling him into a semantic debate over the correlation of her words and actions.

The battlefield moves to the settee. Again we are immensely privileged to witness the impeccable acting of Vaishnavi and Arjun as they exude those ever so subtle nuances of expressions; Mayank studies his mother's face, she looks over at his disapproving face, as if that wasn't reason enough for Shilpa Aunty to continue...

Mayank tries in earnest once more to trump suspicion with truth, proffering up another fact.

Kaun Nupur? As if those walls had ever heard any other girl's name.

Mayank holds onto his pedantic point, it wasn't a date!

Silly boy hasn't he learned, semantic trumps pedantic every time. Shilpa Aunty, the master of semantics understands this; it may not have been a date but is not any less significant by this mere fact.

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!"

Sabah

Step Two - Empathy through 'Show and tell'

nice point you picked in here....
Shilpa aunty is but a very generous parent....she offers him total space for his self realisation and self development.
rather than directly pointing out things to him that she thinks are of concern .....she uses examples of sorts and directs his
thoughts towards them...and Mayank being Mayank grasps the knowledge that his mom just enlightened him with and moves on to make
the necessary mending.

its our upbringing that lays the foundation of our basic character and thats something that goes on to make us what we become in our life
and its the parent's who play the most important role here....
as we see in Mayank's life , Shilpa aunty always guides him through by helping him grow over his shortcomings and its her support that adds to his strength

but again a parent always does have good advise fore their wards.... it is also on the kids how effectively they ponder over it and apply it to their life
and here comes Mayank in picture....he has an immense learning ability and takes pride in what he learns from his experienced mother about life
he just doesn't hear it ...but he immediately...but not blindly puts it to use...he has the ability to both realise , accept and rectify things when he is wrong

Step Two - Empathy through 'Show and tell'

nice point you picked in here....
Shilpa aunty is but a very generous parent....she offers him total space for his self realisation and self development. She nurtures without smothering!
rather than directly pointing out things to him that she thinks are of concern .....she uses examples of sorts and directs his One simple action or example is worth about a thousand lectures. She is no hypocrite, she practices what she preaches. Even toddlers can understand hypocrisy, it is so flagrant, so cacophonous in its style.
thoughts towards them...and Mayank being Mayank grasps the knowledge that his mom just enlightened him with and moves on to make
the necessary mending. I have a whole new appreciation of Mummy's boys now. Being a daddy's girl!😆

its our upbringing that lays the foundation of our basic character and thats something that goes on to make us what we become in our life Can i assume then, that in regards to the nurture vs nature debate, you side with nurture? Personally I believe the potential of each and every one of us, that naturally we have it within us to be beautiful human beings, that it is the nurturing that either corrupts or encourages or even enhances.
and its the parent's who play the most important role here....Unfortunately most children's surrogate parent is TV.
as we see in Mayank's life , Shilpa aunty always guides him through by helping him grow over his shortcomings and its her support that adds to his strength No one loves you like your mum!

but again a parent always does have good advise fore their wards.... it is also on the kids how effectively they ponder over it and apply it to their life There is this saying "The moment you realise that your parents were correct, your children start telling you, you are wrong!"😆
and here comes Mayank in picture....he has an immense learning ability and takes pride in what he learns from his experienced mother about life He evens mentions that to Nupur, 'that my mum made me realise', no false modesty, no qualms over being a mummy's boy. He loves his mum, and is more than happy to be associated with her in any way, manner or respect. So refreshing! I know children who walk 3 metres apart from their parents out of shame!
he just doesn't hear it ...but he immediately...but not blindly puts it to use...he has the ability to both realise , accept and rectify things when he is wrong Truly self development is hard except for the humble. If you try to add more water to a full jug, then it never settles, never gets a chance to mingle with the water already present, it just flows off the top.

Thanks Nandita, lovely observations.

Empathy really is difficult to obtain and maintain. In a world which doesn't try to educate you about it, (tells you, if it feels good, do it!) and then subsequently makes it hard for you to practice it, (by disappointing you and alienating you) Shilpa Aunty's example was like an oasis in the wilderness that has become our dunya.