MHRW FF - Strawberries and Whiskey, RaghVi's Story - Page 33

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kshubhangi thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Such a beautiful story ❤️

sam123u thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: Inese_20


Baby shona janu 🤣🤣


Imagine Pallavi actually saying that to Raghav he would have goosebumps. Last time usna pyar sa baat ki tp Raghav ka ronta khara ho giya he even told Farhad to take care of his family to ab agr usa baby shona bulai gi Pallavi to wo to ghar sa hi bhaagh jai ga 🤣🤣

varshaoforange thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

epilogue coming soon

Edited by varshaoforange - 4 years ago
blackdress thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Waiting for Vikram's reaction.

virmantaarey thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago


Update please 🥺

Milalal27 thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

What about the epilogue ...


❤️

farheenbachani thumbnail
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Posted: 3 years ago

Absolutely lovely. I wish the actual serial ended like that too.

1215019 thumbnail
Posted: 3 years ago

This is a delightful story overall! Pallavi's cooking wins Raghav's heart, just like that dinner at Pooswami Old Age Home.


I wish you had explained how Jaya and Sharada decided, and how Raghav and Pallavi agreed, that they should get married. It's hard to keep track of who blames whom without knowing what happened. Near the end, when Mandar asks how Pallavi could leave his family, the reader has the same question. Raghav was the wedge between Pallavi and her family; why would she marry him?


Your idea that Pallavi only had to ask Jaya and Kirti to live with her and Raghav is so much better than the deal Jaya struck with Raghav on the show.


Raghav faked interest in Anjali, and she fell for it - the third time! Too funny! I loved that Raghav felt guilty for flirting with Anjali, and that guilt was for Pallavi's sake.


Pallavi's motivation for not letting Bābā ask her forgiveness isn't clear. If she doesn't want to forgive him, why does she choose to work with him? Instead of saying no, I don't forgive you, she's avoiding him, not letting him talk, running away from him - it all only makes her look undignified. And Nikhil blaming Vijay when he's trying to apologize, when Pallavi's the one running away, doesn't make sense. Doesn't Nikhil want them to reconcile?


Raghav's motivation for publicly picking a fight with Vijay on Pallavi's showroom opening day wasn't clear. What did Raghav think would happen to Pallavi when he plotted to show Vijay the shop sale contract, the obscene photos, the real accounts, and the original agreement of the business? Unless Raghav was counting on Pallavi's father to hurt her, it would seem that his business-related lies were intended to hurt Pallavi's father, not Pallavi herself. If your version of events is different from the show, that's fine, but the story should convey why Raghav is the judge of Vijay's morals. It doesn't make sense to me that someone would consider Vijay an unforgivable traitor for throwing Pallavi out, but forgive Raghav for carefully planning to turn Vijay against Pallavi.


Now some minor observations ...


Update 1: O positive is not a rare blood type; 32.53% of people in India have it. So, Kirti's suspicion that Pallavi donated to Jaya already isn't reasonable. In your Update 58, Raghav has the same blood type as Pallavi, so Kirti's first guess should be that Raghav donated secretly. On the show, Jaya and Pallavi were both AB negative.


Update 4: Did the doctor inject Pallavi with glucose (inexpensive sugar) or glucagon (not-so-cheap hormone)? Pallavi's own pancreas made glucagon a while after breakfast. In response to that glucagon, her liver already released all of its stored glucose. When the liver has run out of stored glucose, injecting more glucagon doesn't help. Injecting glucose gives Pallavi the blood sugar that she should have gotten from lunch.


Update 11: How ironic it is that just as Jaya is ready to move on from the first scandal that Anjali caused for Raghav, Raghav gets into trouble with Anjali again!


Update 12: So, Jaya is going to sleep, but she wants coffee? That's not a good habit!


Update 15: So, your version of Raghav's house has a proper dance studio! On the show, Raghav danced in his ground-floor bedroom.


Nanda-lāla is Kṛṣṇa, but "Nand Gopal" is Yaśodā's husband, Kṛṣṇa's father.


Raghav trying to say everything at once about Pallavi's dance, and not managing to say anything, was adorable!


Update 16: "If only I could pull off a sari like that" - interesting choice of words for Kirti to put in Raghav's head!


Update 19: On the show, Raghav thought greed was good when he told Pallavi to take money from her cheating customer Seema instead of calling the police. So, it seems hypocritical of Raghav to say disapprovingly that Vijay has greed in his eyes.


Why would Raghav, who is used to staying out all night with random women, point a finger at Amruta? It's irrelevant anyway; on the show at least, Vijay didn't throw Pallavi out of the house for being sexually active; he refused to believe any of Raghav's lies because he trusted Pallavi. Only when Pallavi admitted to showing him fake accounts and said that Raghav had been torturing her for a month, Vijay asked, why did you still see him every day, and Pallavi had no explanation, that was when Vijay decided that Pallavi must be lying about coveting his shop and business too, and threw her out.


Update 20: Poor Pallavi! She worked so hard for this day (paying live models and all) and Raghav ruined it, ignoring Pallavi's plea and fighting with Vijay in public. Pallavi told Raghav what he needed to hear. I'm glad that she behaved graciously and admitted what she feels for both her families.


Update 21: On the show, Raghav produced knock-offs of Pallavi's design to sell to Puja, but it was never clear that he produced them for his staff at Jayati Jewels. He may have done so because Jaya approved of the design, or he may not have done so because Pallavi refused his order unless he said he liked the design. Right after Raghav said, "Sure you could ask someone else…I guess" to take off the bracelet, I thought he would add, "But you won't get the same quality that I offer."


Update 25: Milind ignoring Raghav in your story makes more sense than how quickly Milind accepted Raghav on the show (after your story was written).


Update 33: Raghav almost addressed the fact that Ammā gets disrespect for being his mother. This was always the insult that set off his rage with Pallavi and Vijay and reporters on the show. That's why, when I wrote a story of Raghav having to appease Vijay, I had to include Vijay insulting Raghav's parents. Until Raghav can face that wound and control his temper, he's not going to find peace.


I infer that Asha was impressed by something other than Raghav's Rs. 50,000, which is not a lot of money to balance a lifetime of Rahul being related to Sulochana. Maybe it was the thought that if the son-in-law cares this much about his wife's late husband's cousin's happiness, that kind of family unity will get Rahul through the tough times in life. Perhaps you would like to read my story of Manasi getting back on her feet - she doesn't want Raghav's help, but she needs a Bharatanatyam dancer on short notice.


Update 37: I can't agree with your Pallavi that Raghav's ways don't need to change. In my first fan fiction, I had Pallavi point out that even if Raghav had fabricated evidence against Sulochana, it would still have been wrong, and she needs him to earn his living honestly. You wrote, "in the past month and a half, Pallavi had seen him recognize how the right choice could always be a reward too, no matter how difficult it was." What difficult but right choices did Raghav have to make in your story? As far as I remember, the only such choice was to control his temper at dinner with the Deshmukhs.


Update 38: Wait, if they didn't want to waste time before the mehandī, why did they dance after the haḷadī? Anyway, I like that Nikhil in your story hasn't been jailed by Raghav, so they can be friendly.


Update 40: It's interesting that you have Raghav still troubled by Akash. On the show, Raghav's objection to Akash was that he was a friend of Pallavi, which shouldn't matter now that Raghav loves Pallavi. In my fan fiction, I had Raghav trying to use Akash to ingratiate himself with Pallavi.


I loved how your Raghav reacted to the lost bracelet; he has really grown since his outburst of self-pity the day he gave it to her. I wish the show had let Raghav grow in this direction instead of always suspecting Pallavi of disloyalty.


Update 41: You chose a Bharatanatyam item for Raghav! I would have loved to read more detail of how Raghav performed Bhoḥ Śambho Śiva-Śambho Svayambho, including how the Deshmukhs reacted to Raghav having enough discipline to perform like this.


Update 45: Why do you think a Marathi background means a red wedding-dress? A green saree (no lehenga) is traditional, I believe.


Update 47: It's convenient for Raghav that you made Manasi unlikable all of a sudden. The show turned Manasi spiteful around the same time, but didn't do anything with her. I prefer Manasi as the character who was surprised to receive any gift and apologized for wasting money when she called off her wedding. It's more challenging for Raghav to make amends with an innocent person that he hurt.


Update 48: How cruel of Raghav to spoil Manasi's relationship with Asha right at the wedding! Manasi didn't have to share her wedding with Pallavi, but she agreed, and just because she's not thrilled to hug the man who hurt her and Amruta and Pallavi, Raghav makes her feel unwanted in her new family. Raghav should feel grateful that Manasi forgave him at all.


On the other hand, Raghav trying to network for Pallavi was sweet. In one of my fan fictions, I had Raghav asking Vijay to do something for good publicity for Pallavi, without revealing his real motive to protect Vijay's health.


Update 49: I don't think Vijay would agree to dance just because Raghav was ready to complain to Pallavi. Vijay's character is stubborn and too honest to pretend.


Update 53: Placing a parent in an old age home doesn't make someone less of a son. If one doesn't have the resources to take care of a parent (e.g. one is working full-time, raising children, going through chemotherapy etc.), it's best to accept charity and let the parent have access to professional care, same-age friends, and recreational activities.


Update 55: You introduced Mandar before the show did! It's interesting that right after Raghav realizes that Mandar is alive, he thinks of Sulochana treating Pallavi as a widow. In my fan fiction, Sulochana is the one who made Mandar disappear.


I wonder, when would Raghav have been allowed inside Āī and Bābā's bedroom and noticed the photo of Mandar? And the doctor just tells Mandar's prognosis to a stranger who says he doesn't know him! Is there no doctor-patient confidentiality?


Update 56: You wrote the "drunk Raghav pulls Pallavi into shower" scene weeks before it happened on the show! There's no such thing as showering until you're not wasted, unfortunately. Showering would help with the smell, but Raghav could still pass out and need medical attention. Alcohol makes a person feel warm without the body actually warming itself, so waiting to sober up in a cold shower could lead to hypothermia.


Update 57: One thing that always disappointed me on the show was Raghav's indifference to how his actions had affected and continued to affect Pallavi's family. Someone who loves Pallavi wouldn't insult her elders, make a drunken scene at her family's door, try to kill Mandar in front of them, not tell them Pallavi was in critical condition etc., because their misery would hurt Pallavi. So, in your story, when Raghav lets Pallavi's family go on grieving for Mandar for two extra months, and himself feels peace, it damages his credibility as a lover. Raghav appreciates Sharada and Nikhil, right?


Update 58: When someone awakens from a coma, he typically feels very sleepy. It's unbelievable enough that Mandar would leave the hospital, but running? Mandar trying to throw Pallavi out seems like you're making him crazy just to prop Raghav, which is what the show did, but you did a great job with the individual characters' emotions: Pallavi, Mandar, Vijay, Sharada, and Raghav.


Your version of Sharada is struggling to decide where Pallavi belongs, while Sharada on the show was on Raghav's side against Mandar. In my fan fiction, Sharada doesn't take a side; when Pallavi asks her for advice, Sharada quotes from Bhagavad-Gītā that it's better to follow one's own dharma imperfectly, and die trying, than to fulfill someone else's dharma. Pallavi, thinking that she is morally incompatible with Raghav and shares values with Mandar, says yes to Mandar. I had Vijay react to Mandar's reappearance by apologizing to Pallavi and telling her that if she accepts Raghav as her husband, she has his blessing, but she also has the right to return as Mandar's wife, and he'll defend her against society.


A nosebleed during pregnancy isn't due to stress. It's due to increased blood flow throughout the body as the placenta develops.


Update 59: So, will Pallavi and the Deshmukhs never find out that Raghav hid Mandar from them for two months, so that Pallavi couldn't make an informed choice until there was a baby to tie her to Raghav?


Like everyone else, I am impressed by how quickly you wrote such a long and well-paced story.


Now that the forum has very little activity, I think it would be wonderful if you and other talented writers would migrate your stories to the Fan Fiction section, where they can receive beautiful covers and wider readership.

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