Chapter 3

BrhannadaArmour

@BrhannadaArmour

Chapter Three

"Excuse me, Farhad?" Mandar called from the back seat.

"Hāṃ, Raja?" As the words left his lips, Farhad blushed. Mandar had introduced himself as Raja, a term of endearment, and the way Farhad had addressed him, it sounded intimate. "Sorry. Jī, Mandar?"

"Could we stop somewhere and buy a box of peḍhe, please? For my family. Today we're celebrating my return; we'll have to put a sweet in every mouth."

My family, Mandar thought. I hardly remember anyone, and Farhad must have eaten a peḍhā at every celebration since Pallavi's remarriage to Raghav. Last month was Vaṭa-Paurṇimā, before that was Pallavi's birthday ...

"Pallavi - your birthdate is 20th May, 1996! Am I right?" Mandar exclaimed.

"Yes, Mandar!" Pallavi smiled at him. "I am amazed that you remember, because we never celebrated my birthday together."

Raghav, listening from the front seat, felt his mouth drying up. Twentieth May, 2021 was the day Pallavi had left Raghav, saying that they had only bad memories and hatred between them. Celebration of her twenty-fifth birthday had been farthest from Pallavi's mind; in fact, she had asked Raghav to kill her because existence as his wife, shunned by her beloved family as a greedy opportunist, was intolerable. Raghav could never forget the date because he had chased Pallavi to the train station and pleaded with her to give him thirty days to work his charm on the Deshmukh family and restore her place in their hearts. She had given him the chance and he had failed. Failed where Mandar would undoubtedly succeed effortlessly.

Milind Kākā welcomed Raghav into the family without hesitation, and Sharada Āī made peace with him, but Manasi was nervous in his presence, and Amruta disdainfully ignored Raghav. Nikhil went about his work silently with eyes full of guilt from association with Raghav's business - just as another eighteen-year-old had done after a failed money-making venture disgraced him and his family, many years ago. Raghav might yet have charmed Pallavi's siblings in thirty days, perhaps, but due to the machinations of Sulochana Kākū, Vijay Deshmukh would not budge from his belief that Raghav had occupied his home solely to belittle and intimidate him. Raghav was so fed up with Pallavi's Bābā imagining the worst of him, he never held back an outburst or an insulting name for the old man, not even in front of Pallavi. Now that Raghav was about to say "I love you" to Pallavi, would she believe him?

"Farhad, you know where I get kājū katalī for Amma. Stop there and go with Mandar to buy the peḍhe."

Meanwhile, Krishna and Vishnu arrived at the Deshmukh house in the taxi. The whole family was waiting outside, eager to lay eyes on Mandar as early as possible. Krishna made the introductions.

"Mandar Dādā has been living in Vikarabad, using the name Rajiv Dev, and working as an ambulance driver. This is his friend and co-worker Vishnu, who will be staying with you for a few days. Vishnu jī, this is Mandar's Āī-Bābā, Sharada Aunty and Vijay Uncle, his Milind Kākā and Sulochana Kākū, Manasi, Amruta, and Nikhil."

As Nikhil took Vishnu and Krishna inside to freshen up, Amruta pulled Manasi aside. "Tāī, Mandar Dādā jīvanta āhe mhaṇaje azūna Pallavi tyācīça bāyako āhe nā?" Tāī, Mandar Dādā being alive means that Pallavi is still his wife, right? "Maga tī punhā āpalyāta rahāyalā yeīla kā?" Then will she come to live with us again?

Manasi was pondering the same questions, and like Amruta, she didn't want to voice them in front of Vijay Kākā. Their uncle had thrown Pallavi out of the house for lying to him about their business doing well when it was actually losing money for two years. The news that Pallavi had acquired the shop from Raghav Rao, with her admission that she kept visiting this man who tortured and disparaged her, even as she denied a sexual liaison and denied asking Raghav to register the business in her name, had driven Vijay Kākā to attempt suicide and swear that he would never again see his beloved shop; Pallavi could have it all to herself. By the time Vijay Kākā had asked Pallavi to come home, she was Raghav's wife and she insisted that Raghav wasn't responsible for Vijay Kākā being caught with a necklace stolen from Raghav's showroom, in a bag that Raghav himself had handed to Vijay Kākā. After Pallavi's display of wifely loyalty to Raghav, would Vijay Kākā ever accept Pallavi as Mandar's wife?

"Kāya māhīta nāhī, Amruta." Don't know what. Manasi didn't know what to think about Pallavi's relationship with Raghav. Bābā, Sharada Kākū, and Nikhil claimed that Raghav had forced Pallavi to marry him, and yet they believed that Raghav was sincerely trying to reunite Pallavi with her family; that was why he had rented a room in the house where the Deshmukhs were staying. Suppose Pallavi wanted to be Mandar's wife. What would Raghav do to their family?

"Nāhī tara kāya!" What else? Sulochana had followed her daughters and heard every word. "Dādā, Pallavi tyā Raghav-cyā nādī lāgalī tyāçe ekameva kāraṇa mhaṇaje tyācī śrīmantī." Dādā, Pallavi got into trouble with that Raghav for only one reason - his riches. "Mī mhaṇate, viṣācī parīkṣā kā ghyāyacī?" I say, why taste-test poison? "Asalyā vāīṭa çālīcyā sunelā āpaṇa gharāta gheūça naye." Such an immoral daughter-in-law; we shouldn't accept her in this house. "Tyā Rākṣasālāça tī lakhalābha asūde." Let that Rākṣasa have any benefit of her.

"Jībhevara tābā ṭheva, Sulochana!" Control your tongue, Sulochana! Sharada warned her, and Milind nodded vigourously as his Vahinī continued: "Mandar-samora Pallavi-baddala eka śabdahī uccārāyaçā nāhī." You will not pronounce even one word about Pallavi in front of Mandar. "Tyāṃçe te zo nirṇaya ghetīla, āpaṇa to hasatamukhāne svīkārū." Whatever decision they make for themselves, we'll accept it with smiling faces.

Vijay listened, but he would not join any family argument to spoil this joyful day. The truth was that he missed Pallavi. He knew he had overreacted about her covering up their money problems and not asking his advice as the head of the family. (He had only had a heart attack; he didn't deserve to be kept ignorant as if he were mentally incompetent.) He knew that Pallavi didn't deserve to be thrown out of the house at night, but how could he admit that he was wrong in front of Raghav, who didn't belong in his life and wouldn't leave him alone? As hurt as Vijay still was by Pallavi's betrayal and her marriage to that beabrūçe cakrī vādaḷa, Raghav Rao, that tornado of embarrassment, he couldn't deny that she was dutiful and honourable. An opportunist would have kept Deshmukh Saree Emporium for herself when Vijay gave it up; instead, Pallavi had put inexperienced Nikhil in charge so that the income would go right back to Vijay. When Vijay had been unable to pay the property tax on his home, Pallavi had been under no obligation to help, but she had quietly earned the money by herself so that Vijay wouldn't be indebted to Raghav. When Raghav had been arrested for the hit-and-run on Mandar, Vijay had refused to believe that Raghav wasn't the drunk driver, but it was Pallavi who had fought against Raghav's obstruction of justice, risked her marriage, and brought charges against Sunny Ahuja and Kirti Rao.

Vijay knew that Mandar's return meant that he must apologize to Pallavi. Mandar and Pallavi - both of them had been Vijay's pride and joy, both had dedicated themselves to the tradition of hand-woven sarees that was Vijay's life's work. Now that Gaṇapati Bāppā had brought back Mandar, Vijay should make every effort to bring back Pallavi too, so that Mandar and Pallavi could be together as they were meant to be. An opportunity like this would not come again. He watched the road eagerly for their arrival.

Farhad parked the car and got out, along with Pallavi, Mandar, and Raghav. While Farhad showed Mandar to the end of the line outside the miṭhāīvālā's shop, Raghav said to Pallavi, heedless of anyone who might pass by, "I love you. Stay with me."

It was the first time Raghav had said "I love you" to Pallavi. She felt herself beginning to cry, and turned towards the car so that passersby wouldn't notice.

"I love you, Pallavi." Raghav already had tears running down his face. "I know I disappointed you by choosing Celli over you, but I love you, I really do."

"I know, Raghav," Pallavi replied. "I knew more than a month ago, when you asked me if my dream house had a banyan tree nearby, where I could pray for your long and healthy life."

"You knew? Then why didn't you say anything? I've been waiting for you to be ready to hear this! Pallavi, I want to share everything with you!"

"I wasn't ready, Raghav. And I'm still not ready."

Raghav looked at her with wide eyes, his mouth hanging open. Her next words were like a punch in the gut.

"I don't know if I belong with you. You frighten me, Raghav. I haven't forgotten how you took pleasure in thinking of ways to torture me, or how you still behave when you're drunk or angry. Even when you hurt someone by accident, your instinct is to double down and hurt that same person deliberately. As if you can silence the voice inside that says you care. I know you weren't born this way, and you don't deserve to be lonely, not when you have so much love to give. I gave you a chance, and you proved that you would do anything for me, and even for my family. You would throw away your life or your dignity for my sake. I am lucky to have that kind of love. But what I feel for you is appreciation, neither trust nor love."

"Sarī kā Dukāna, I've seen you looking at me. I know you're aroused when I take off my clothes. Just come home with me and let me hold you. I promise I won't hurt you, I won't make you do anything you don't want to do. But right here is where you belong." Raghav held out his arms.

"Raghav, the physical attraction is real, but it was never why I wanted our marriage to work. You are a good person, you are trying to be a good husband, and that is what will bring us together if we're meant to be. I've encouraged you to touch me, and we almost kissed a couple of nights ago, but I am not ready to feel your body all around mine. When you told me that Bābā had been arrested, and you pulled me into a hug, I tried to find comfort in it, but then I was babbling, and instead of soothing me, you gagged me and carried me over your shoulder. I was too shocked to realize that you had left my hands free to remove the gag. I had nightmares after that, in which you would restrain me and I couldn't think clearly to get free. It's still too soon to forget how terrified I felt when you carried me out of my house to tie me up in the middle of the road."

Raghav sighed dejectedly, crossed his arms, and leaned back against the car. "So, do I still have a chance? Will you at least come home with me?"

"How can I, Raghav? Mandar is alive, and I don't know what that means by law or dharma. Am I married to two men? How do I get myself out of this situation, and what can I do to keep my name out of the tabloid news?"

"I don't care what anyone says, Pallavi! You are my wife, I made you a promise to honour our marriage, and you have every right to be with me."

"But I do care what people say and think of me, Raghav. I am not property of Mandar or of Raghav, I am a person who has a choice. Whatever the law or dharma says, I have to deal with it, but ultimately, I have to follow my conscience. I need to feel respectable. I can't sleep next to you, or live in the same house with you or with Mandar, until I know where I belong. Even if Mandar doesn't want me back, I need time to decide that I want you more than I want Mandar or my freedom."

"Did you just say that you want Mandar? Of course you do! He's a nice, middle-class, Marathi boy who remembers your birthday and your favourite Rāgam, and you laugh together. You chose to marry him, you remember all the ceremonies, and you treasure the photographs. I'm the Rākṣasa who forced you to marry me, and made you want to die on your birthday. So, go ahead and leave me. I deserve this."

Pallavi had nothing more to say, so she just crossed her arms against the car roof, laid her face on them, and cried, and Raghav couldn't hold her.

Mandar paid for his peḍhe, Farhad paid for Amma's kājū katalī, and they headed back to the car, when a woman's shriek pierced the air.

"Kirti!" Farhad exclaimed.

Kirti was right in front of them, staring at Mandar. A coconut had fallen from one hand, and her other hand still clutched a straw.

"I didn't do it on purpose! I didn't want you to die! I was just afraid! Please don't hate me!" Kirti was pleading and trembling. Farhad ran up to her and caught both of her hands, while Mandar stood still, bewildered, focussing on Farhad's voice to make sense of what was happening to this young woman.

"Mandar is alive, Kirti. Calm down. He didn't die. You're not imagining him. Everything will be all right. We are taking him back to his family." Farhad's voice was soothing, and Kirti recovered quickly. She looked at the ground to avoid looking at Mandar, whose gaze travelled back and forth from Kirti to Farhad, from the question to the answer.

"Farhad, who is this?" Mandar asked. "Why is she upset to see me?" He remembered what Pallavi had told him earlier today, and asked, "Are you Sunny Ahuja's friend Kirti?"

Kirti began to cry.

"Yes, Mandar," Farhad explained. "This is Kirti. She was the passenger in the car that hit you."

Mandar had no memory of the accident, but the thought of being hit by a car and left to die made him tremble all over. His legs were unsteady, and there was nothing to hold onto, so he tensed up and just looked at Farhad to keep his balance. The tender and understanding expression on Farhad's face as he watched Mandar comforted Mandar, and the trembling subsided.

Kirti looked at Mandar, and said, "I should have made Sunny stop to check if you were all right, but I let him drive away. I am really sorry. There is no excuse for what I did."

Mandar felt sorry for Kirti. "I'm an ambulance driver, Kirti, so I've seen a lot of accidents. The way you reacted to my being hurt is the way a lot of people react, unfortunately. You save yourself instinctively."

Kirti shook her head. "I wasn't in any danger; I could have stopped to save your life out of common decency. I didn't do the right thing because I didn't want Sunny to be arrested, and I didn't want my mother to find out that I was out with my boyfriend. I never went to the police, nor said anything to anyone for years after the accident. I kept telling myself that it was too late to fix my mistake, and punishment for me wouldn't bring you back to life. I thought I would never have to face you and answer you, but now I am really ashamed."

Mandar nodded, and looked at Farhad helplessly. He couldn't disagree with Kirti's self-castigation, and he didn't want to spend more time with her when he could be on his way to his family. Farhad returned his gaze, and evidently understood, because he pulled out his phone and sent a message.

A moment later, Raghav arrived, and said, "Kirti, come with me. I'll take you home." He left with Kirti, without saying a word to Mandar.

Mandar walked with Farhad back to the car, where Pallavi was already sitting in the back seat, staring straight ahead.

"Pallavi, you have been crying! May I ask why?" Mandar said, getting back in his seat next to her and wondering if Raghav had said something to hurt her. Why would Raghav leave Pallavi like this and take Kirti home? Who was Kirti to him?

"I had to tell Raghav that I'm moving out," Pallavi said simply. "Farhad, Raghav said he would ask you to make arrangements for me to move into his other house tonight."

His other house? Mandar thought. Raghav must be well off, to have a vacant second home. How had Pallavi, despite the inauspicious stamp of losing her first husband on the very night of the wedding, managed to remarry into a family more affluent than the Deshmukhs?

"Jī, Bhābhī," Farhad said, wiping tears from his eyes. Raghav Anna hadn't instructed him yet. Probably he had composed a draft message, and just wasn't in any mood to send it. Anyway, an order was an order, whether from Bhābhī or from Anna. Farhad made a few phone calls, then sent Anna a text, and then they were on their way.

As the car pulled up to the Deshmukh house, Nikhil raced past Manasi and Amruta to meet it and ran alongside it until Farhad parked. Mandar hardly had a chance to step out of the car before Nikhil hugged him. With the box of peḍhe in one hand, Mandar couldn't hug his little brother properly, until Farhad stood beside him and took the box from him. Then Mandar had both arms around Nikhil. He's so much bigger now, Mandar thought. Stronger grip, too.

"Dādā, I've missed you so much! I have so much to tell you!"

"I want to hear everything, Nikhil. Especially old news."

Manasi was snapping photographs while Amruta bobbed up and down on her feet, impatient for her turn to hug Mandar Dādā.

"Amruta, look! My hands are empty. I didn't bring you anything!" Mandar teased her.

"I saw the box, Dādā!" Amruta laughed as she pulled him down with her arms around his neck.

Mandar pulled his ears, then reached over to Farhad, who had astutely opened the box already. Mandar took one peḍhā and fed Amruta, then took another peḍhā and fed Nikhil, as Manasi photographed every moment.

When it was Manasi's turn for a peḍhā and a hug, Nikhil took the photo, but after that it was all Manasi. She captured Vijay Kākā in tears as he hugged Mandar, Sharada Kākū smiling as brightly as the lamp flame of the ovāḷaṇīçe tāṭa in her hands, Farhad smiling shyly as he displayed the box of peḍhe, Mandar and Bābā feeding peḍhe to each other, Āī and Mandar both looking rather uncomfortable as they stood posed next to each other, Sharada Kākū feeding a peḍhā to Pallavi, then to Mandar, then to Vishnu, then to Krishna, and then to Farhad.

As Mandar and Sharada were the centre of attention, Vijay quietly asked Pallavi to step aside with him. "Khūpa divasāṃpāsūna mājhyā manāta āhe kī tujhī māphī māgāyalā havī," he began. Since many days now, I have been thinking that I should ask your forgiveness.

Pallavi listened in silence as Vijay continued, "Tū dukānācyā bābatīta je kāhī kelaṃsa, tyāta tuzhā hetu çāṅgalāça hotā, he malā nākāratā yeta nāhī." Whatever you did concerning the shop, your intention was only good, I can't deny that. "To tuzhā Raghav mhaṇato kī tyāne tujhyāvara aślīla āropa kele te sagaḷecyā sagaḷe khoṭe hote, te mī mānya karato." That Raghav of yours says that his indecent accusations of you were entirely false, and I accept that. "Nikhil-lā soḍavāyalā tū tyā Rākṣasāśī lagna kelaṃsa, tyāmuḷe mī tujhyāvara saṃśaya ghetalā, te māzhaṃ çukalaṃ, pūrṇapaṇe çukalaṃ." You married that Rākṣasa to set Nikhil free, and that made me suspicious of you; that was wrong of me, totally wrong. "Āṇi āpale ghara çālavāyalā tū ekaṭīça zhuṃzata hotīsa tevhāṃ samazā tyā māṇasāne tujhyā kāhī garazā puryā kelyā asatīla, tara mī tulā doṣa deta nāhī." And when you alone were fighting to support our family, if perhaps that man may have fulfilled some needs of yours, I don't blame you. "Tulā to navarā mhaṇūna pasanta asela, tara sukhāta rahā, āmaçā tulā āśīrvāda āhe, paṇa Mandar jīvanta āhe mhaṇūna sāṅgato, tyācī bāyako mhaṇūna yā gharāta nāndāyaçā tuzhā adhikāra azūna āhe." If you accept him as your husband, then be happy, you have our blessing, but because Mandar is alive, I'm saying, you still have the right to live in this family as his wife. "Samāja je kāhī mhaṇela tyālā mī uttara deīna." Whatever society says, I will give the reply. "Tū tyācī cintā karū nakosa." You don't worry about that. "Pallavi, tulā gharābāhera kāḍhūna mī tuzhā viśvāsaghāta kelā." Pallavi, when I threw you out of the house, I betrayed your trust. "Malā mājhī çūka sudhārāyacī āhe." I want to correct my mistake. "Malā māpha karaśīla kā?" Will you forgive me?

Pallavi had waited a long time for Bābā to say these words to her. She was about to say, "Bābā, tumaçā mājhyāvaraçā rāga kharaṃça gelā nā?" Bābā, you're really not angry at me anymore, right? That was when they both noticed Mandar standing in front of them, his face slack and his eyes filled with hurt.

"Bābāṃnī tulā gharābāhera kāḍhalaṃ hotaṃ?" Mandar asked. Bābā had thrown you out of the house?