BAARISH (tie changed from PLAYBOY) chapter10@pg12 - Page 7

BAARISH

Chapter8

"One of the worst things that can happen to a person is to be forgotten by someone they will never forget."0

Sanskaar POV-

2Days Later.

I was in deep sleep, when I heard Syra speaking -" Happy Birthday Sanskaar" . I actually woke up when I heard a party pooper burst. As I opened my eyes I couldn't believe things around. Our bedroom was decorated with balloons, Syra and Ragini- Laksh were on a vedio call.

"Happy birthday Bhai" they too wished. I smiled but couldn't reply. I was perplexed.

Besides the phone stood Swara with a cake she perhaps baked for me. I folded my moving leg and she sat with me. She offered me some water. Her face was lit up.

"Thank you" I said as I held the glass. I drank the water and turned to Swara's phone.

Sa- Syra, how's u.

Syra- Very Good . See Sanskaar Chachi and mumma both baked the same cake. Now you cut the cake there I will do that here.

Sa- Okay.

I held Swara's hand that had the cake. Syra began the birthday hymn as me and Swara cut the cake. She too cute the cake and shared with Ragini and Laksh. I held a little peace and feeded Swara she feeded me back. We were about to continue talking on phone when Ragini's mother began banging the door. Laksh hided the cake and in a hap hided the phone under his pillow. Ragini and Syra quickly wrapped a blanket around themselves and they switched off the dim lights of the room.

Our screen was black. Swara served me a peace of cake. She was about to serve herself in another dish when I held her hand and gestured her with my eyes to eat with me. She smiled as we began having the cake. It was a surprise for me. I never clebrated my birthday after I was 16. Last time mom and Dad did cut a cake with me. Those faint memories flashed again in my mind as eyes watered with the pain of separation.

Swara perhaps noticed me lost. She held my hand and asked what happened. I was about to answer when I heard Ragini's mother speak, my heart and mind went from the pleasant memories to the beginning of this dark phase of my life.

Ragini's mother (Janki)- Laksh I heard Sanskaar's voice, were you taking to that filthy man.

L- No. No Maa.

Her voice had a sort of fake anger mixed with concerned; my throat chocked when I heard her speaking.The phase from her love to her hate shattered me. Perhaps Ragini cut the call on time. We were disconnected. Swara seemed to be perplexed and then a bit sad, she wiped the mositure escaping my eyes.

Sw- Sanskaar no ji don't cry. Pls.

I held her hand and nodded. She smiled. I pecked it and kept the dish containing aside. She got up and sat on my left. She embraced me.

I could see my tears wettening the sleeve of her white kurta.

Sw- Sanskaar Ji Kya hua.

Sa- (composing) nothing just I was missing my mom.

Sw- Sujata Maa?

Sa-Nope, my mom.

I bent down and pulled out an old photo frame. It had scarches but it was all I had as a rememberance of my old happy days.

Sa- see Swara this is my mother "Sarla Kapoor" and he is my father "Ram S. Kapoor" and here am I.

I pointed to our photo. Me mom and Dad were in party hats.

Sa- This was clicked on my 16 birthday.

She smiled.

Sw- Where are they Sanskaar ji?

She asked softly. Ifelt chocked but some how managed to speak.

Sa- Everything is over Swara! Mom and Dad left me alone here. I miss them.

I said and clutched the photograph close to my heart.

Sw- But why don't you use your surname then.

Sa- It's another story leave that. You know this is my last birthday I celebrated. Summer Vacations had just began. My parents and Laksh's parents were friends and so were we. We both were more than brothers. After this party six of us decided to come on road trip to Kolkata and experience Bengal.

Sw- Then.

Sa- Then our dad took a break from their businesses and we moved here to Bengali. We enjoyed local cusines, beautiful places and what nots. Here I saw my mother wearing Sari first time. She looked just stunning in white and red Bengali drapped sari.

Sw-Do you have a picture.

I nodded in a no.

Sa- I lost everything! Mom dad and so did Laksh. While returning back here our car met with an accident. A fatal accident. It was so bad that me and Laksh gained consious after a week and found ourselves in local government hospitals. On enquiring we came to know that accident was so brutal that our parents body was more than 90% burned. They were killed on the spot. We were left in the unknown city alone. They had crimated the bodies as no one claimed them and they were in a very bad condition.

I put vague attempts to wipe my tears but couldn't stop them. She offered me some water. I drank it.

Sw- Did you ever visit your home back.

Sa- We did, about 2-3 years back but it was although more hurtful. Our house was made into a restaurant and bar. Our businesses were taken over by greedy relatives. They denied even knowing us.

Sw- But where did you get these photos from then.

Sa- Swara tell me could they truly deny the fact that me and Laksh were alive. We assured them that we won't come back ever again but we just wanted to see our stuffs if anything was left. They took us to a store room. It had a few boxes with our things. Most of them were destorted others were sold or stolen by them. What all we could get was some jwellery from an old Almeras jammed locker and a few photos. We came back with them and decided never to visit Delhi again.

Sw- Sanskaar ji.

Sa- Bolo.

She embraced me. I don't know when I slept in her embrace but I did.

Swara POV-

I embracced Sanskaar. My heart was filled with guilt. I had been judging him, avoiding him, hating him for long; the sad part is I never knew what he had suffered? What he had gone through? He had slept in my arms, his tears drenched my kurta. I couldn't resist but tightened my grip around him as I pecked his forehead.

I adjusted his head over the pillow, my hands caressed his hair. I pecked his forehead while his scent tickled senses. I smiled and wisphered "I love you Sanskaar", I held my breath at this moment as I blushed and turned red. A smile was psread over my face I could feel the stretch of my cheeks. I exhaled again and embraced him tightly, so tight that I couldn't just let go of him. I wished that all his scent could blanket my body so that his presence could be felt around even in his absence. I too closed my eyes and dossed off soon.

Sanskaar POV-

I felt some weight over my chest when my senses loosened themselves from the embrace of sleep. The site that awaited me was no less than a dream. I could see my love, my Swara embracing me. I was already in heaven. My own little heaven. Alas, it's in the mist of the hell. My eyes filled up with moisture and I pulled my self out of her embracce I am the only fool who is willingly jumping into the hell. I moved away. I know the closer I get the more painful will be the separation for both of us.

Swara POV-

I woke up, it wished that I could feel him peck my forehead but sadly he isn't even here with me. I too moved out. I walked out and searched for him. He was sitting on the couch with his books. In a little time I joined him. We rarely got into a chinwag. All the time things were silent between us.

My heart began to sink in the pit of of my stomach when I started to converse and it seemed that he was avoiding me.

Sw- Sanskaar ji.

Sa- hmm. .. (without making eye contact)

Sw- woh shall we go out, it's your birthday.

Sa- okay as you wish. But didn't we recently visited the market

He crossed me in a disinterested tone. My face lost a few of its shades as his behavior was hurting me the first time. Perhaps it's consistent as always, it's just that I have started loving him, I am sure he will resipocate to my feelings shortly. A few days more we both are here alone. We both can manage time for ourselves, we can get closer always.

Sw- No i think we should visit a park or river bank garden. It would be better.

I suggested I hoped for his normal reply but his reply hurt me. He was cold.

Sa- ,(cold Tone) Swara you are not married to a billionaire that you keep planning outtings I am poor man pls leave me.

He almost threw the book on the table as he quoted this. He got up and left in seconds. I was too numb to react. I opened my mouth. I wanted to speak to him but refrained. I took my books and began to read but couldn't concentrate. He was too cold, his words were hurtful and too painful. I didn't know if this is how he had always been. Have I started expecting too much from my husband just because I have started liking him.

I controlled my emotions and decided to make this day special for him. Perhaps he is actually stressed.

The day cooled down and the starts began to glow in the moonlit night sky. Not all were visible. I entered the room from the washroom wearing a white shirt. I purposefully wore the black ligiere under it. He was sitting on the bed as it was just 8. I let my wet hair drench my shirt I stood in front of mirror waiting for him to take intiative, but he seemed to be uninterested. I move to the bed but he got up and began to moved past me towards the washroom. My heart broke into a million peices. Unable to control my emotions o held his hand. He began to questioningly gaze at me.

Sa- What??

He asked me abruptly. I was taken aback but then too composing myself I managed to speak.

Sw-Sanskaar ji until when will you run.

He didn't utter a word but stood there.

Sa- Swara pls give me some time. I didn't wish to take even a single step forward in our relationship until we both know each other properly.

I wished to talk more when he lifted his bag and left for his call center. He left me there alone. It hurt me bad as if someone hit me bad with a hammer. I wiped my tears and slept or alleast tried doing that.

All alone the house haunted me, I was missing Syra. Atleast we both could talk. Sanskaar had left me alone. My old fears were taking a Uturn and haunting me again. I tried closing my eyes but it didn't help. The memory of that night was almost killing me again. That dark blue memory created 10 years back. I wished Sanskaar was here to sooth me. With shivering hands I picked up my phone as I wiped the sweat drops over my forehead. I called Dida.

Dida- Shoru !!

Sw- Dida ... I ... Am alone here Sanskaar ji is also out pls talk to me.

Dida was worried. She knew about it, my anxieties. She kept on talking to me until I slept.

Sanskaar POV- Things are going the way they should yet it's unpleasant to me. Every time I see Swara the glitter of her eyes show a reflection of her love. Her love that cares for me, her love that demands it's rightful completeness from me. Alas, I am a mock spectator. I saw her heart sinking low, I saw her eyes pleading to me, I saw her desires, her wishes all crashing yet I am here helpless; on the bed with another lady who hired my body for this yet another dark night. These hours are so dark that even my soul seems to go black and all lost in it. I wish I could save it because this is the only petite thing in me that belonged to her, solely her, purely her. It's my lost dark soul.

I was pulled out of her thoughts when the sharp ringtone of my customer's phone began hurting my ears. I halted I glanced at her phone and then at her. She intervived her fingers in my hair and pulled me more over her. She wisphered in despiration, rage and irritation..

"Don't... Don't Stop... You Rascal...!!!!! I have paid you. . !!!" I lowered my eyes helpless and waited for the morning to bless me with nothing else but atleast temporary light. If not my soul, I wish my eyes could see a little light.

The phone of this lady continued to ring, annoyed she pushed me harshly after some 15 minutes. Her push was bad enough to make me fall of the bed and hurt my paralysed leg. It was senation less yet I could see blood that oozed out due to the wounds caused by the sharp edges of the bed.

"GET LOST NOW!!" She shouted over me as she disconnected the call. I nodded, dressed myself up and left to meet Madhav.

I sat over a stool counting my bundle of notes in a little saffocated room that belonged to Madhav.

"Sanskaar Don't you feel guilty?" He quized me in an unusual and fake concern.

"How does that matter to you Madav?" I answered with a question.

"No, I mean about Swa..."

"Shhh...!!!!!" I cut him in between. "Come to the point and dare not take the name of my wife from the filthy mouth of yours."

"SHUT UP!!! And be in your limits" he warned me as my words scratch his ego."You must remember that the life of your friend or so called brother was saved by me. I helped you." He said making me remind the time which I badly wish to forget. My hands halted and the sour memories began haunting me again.

"What you want Madav? Say it directly, and clearly" I urged him to stop hurting me back.

"See you need not to work for too long if you do something for me. I mean just a few hours with a single lady and I will pay you more than double." He was making an offer to me. I exhaled and galred at him. I was not that 21 year old helpless Sanskaar anymore to fall for anything he says. I raised an eyebrow and looked at him silently. Without any word spilled I simply expressed my doubts at him. He pulled a stool and sat next to me.

"See this" he handed me over a camera. I glanced and it and then back at him. Perhaps understanding my confusion he continued.

" You just have to fix it secretly in the room and record that making out section, that's it. I will blurred the faces of you and your client and upload the vedio on p*rn sites..."

He halted just because I slapped him hard. I wished I could throw the camera but didn't because it seemed expensive may be too expensive for him as well. I hope he will use it for something better after this slap but I know he won't.

Rageful I got up, kept the money in my bag and crippled out.

"I could have simply fixed the camera without informing you but didn't thinking you are doing something for my mother and sister." He almost shouted from behind my back.

I turned to him "Atleast you know that they are something to you, I think they will be more than happy!!" Were the only words I could say and I left.

I walked to the hospital and deposited the money for her treatment. Sitting on a chair in the hospital I packed an envelope for Uttara. She had messaged me about the books she needs. It was morning 4 by now. I had no option expect to walk upto her hostel. About half an hour later I reached there. I could see a few lights on. I called her and signed at the reception. She came down and ran into my embrace.

"Bhai how are you? How is Bhabhi?" Was her first question.

I pulled her out of my embracced and caressed her face.

"We are good." I added.

"How is Syra?" She asked again.

"She has gone out with Ragini and Laksh" I answered and then added " Laksh will come and take you after a week. Let your holidays begin."

She nodded and blinked the moisture away from her eyes. So did I. We bid a bye. I went back home.

I rang the bell a few times when Swara opened the door.

"You went to meet Maa and Uttara?" Swara asked me.

I nodded. She shifted aside and I walked in.

"Sanskaar ji! Atleast call me when you go to them. I was so worried." She added as we entered our room. I turned to her and cupoed her cheek.

"Don't worry Swara, nothing will happen to me" I almost wisphered and pecked her forehead. She pulled me into a hug.

I sat peacefully there, trying to forget the dark night. Trying to engage her fragrance and assure my soul it would be free from darkness soon, very very soon. It would be able to fly high in the sky, it would be free from this filthy body of mine very soon. Just 5 months more to go. I glanced at Swara, she would also be free and soon forget that I even ever existed. I thought about Syra she would be free from embarssement of my presence and so will be Ragini,Laksh and Janki Maa.

Uttara and Maa won't miss me for sure. I just hope Laksh will take proper care of them for money won't be an issue. My policies would be helpful for them, I am sure.

My heart ached when I thought about mine and Swara's incomplete love. We won't meet ever. I tightened my grip more over her, I pulled her even more closer. I wish to live each moment with her. I wish I could be here forever. I wish could stay with her. I wish I could love her the way I want to. I wish we could complete each other and even out Incomplete love but I know, wishes and dreams rarely come true in my case. It's just the nightmares that stricke too quick. Hope God will bless me with little peace before my death.

Please Make Sanskar leave this Job and Make him work in another field . But No more in this kind of cheap Job Please

Do update Soon

Seriously if only he talked to her...

Beautifully written :)

Razia

Baarish Chapter9

"The first step to be a good man is this: You must deeply feel the burden of the stones some else is carrying." - Mehmet Murat ildan

15 days later-

Sanskaar POV-

I glanced at her pale face and sunken eyes through the mirror. Her eyes met mine, they were filled with a thin layer of moisture that she blinked away. I smile to her and so did she to me. I looked down and moved away again. I again shattered the feelings of my beloved.

She was getting depressed and tensed. She slept tears drenched at night and yet I am a mock viewer. I wish to be with her yet we were apart. It was when Syra slept, she stood in front of me.

"You are not going office tonight?" She quizzed

"No! I thought to stay with you." I replied.

A tired and hopeful smile was spread over her face. Before I could absorb even a little peace from her smile the door bell rang. It was Ragini. She wanted to take Syra with her for tonight. It was going to be another awkward night. She was at one corner and I at another.

"Sanskaar ji" she wisphered

I turned to her.

Her eyes were teary. I casted her a perplexed look even when none other than me better knew the reason.

"I have a question?" She continued in a wet voice.

"Say it " I said.

"Do... Do you love someone else??" She hesitated but asked me.

I immediately switched on the lights and sat on the bed and so did she. I cupped her face and embracced her.

I pulled her close, close enough so that she can hear my heart, beat for her.

"No Swara!!! No!! Pls don't say like this" is all I could say.

She in a few minutes pulled her self out and wiped my tears.

"Then why are we still living like strangers. Why ... "

"Shhh... " I cut her before she could complete. "It's just that I wish to give us time, enough time and space to grow, educate and set our careers and nothing else. Don't worry. "I assured her.

"Are you sure Sanskaar ji. I.. I wasn't ready for it in the beginning but then I thought you go disinterested in me and.. "

Before she could complete. I pressed my lips against hers. I didn't wish I hear her say those words. Slowly I licked her lower lip, then upper lip. She was shocked at first and then smiled. I could feel her lips stretch at first and then she began respond to the moment of my lips. Our tongues touched and Silva mixed. It wasn't a deep kiss but a loveable one. A sweet first kiss with my wife and my only love. She slowly wrapped her arms around me neck as we deepend the kiss.

My I held her close to me, too close, I wanted my soul to get sanctified with her touch. When we parted and our eyes met. She felt shy and embracced me, I too wrapped my arms around her neck. Her soft face seemed to be drowned in my chest. I could inhale the floral fragrance of her hair. Her hair were getting tickled as my breath caused their osccilation.

"You should have talked with me atleast!!" She wisphered on my chest and sobbed once again.

"I am sorry" I wisphered an apology

"You should have told me this, I was having every bad thought" she said

"Sorry Swara, I am really sorry!!!" I said while I messaged her back.

I am the worst man in the world, definitely worst beyond her imagination. My guilt ridden heart ached to burst out the reality but then I refrained thinking about Syra. Seeing her in tears would kill me more, even though living a two faced life is already killing me but I did not wish to ruin Syra's happiness. I am in a huge delima one side I don't wish to betray Swara and be the man of her dreams, the other side I don't wish to kill Syra's happiness. Alas, at this point of time doing both is next to Impossible. I am selfish, I am choosing my daughter over other girl's life. Swara's life which I am already ruining.

We after a few minutes laid on the bed and slept in each other's embrace. I pecked her slowen eye's to sooth them from the pain. Even though I am the cause of her aches, I so much wish to be the cure.

Few days later-

Swara POV-

We are walking through the rows of the government shopping center. Me and Sanskaar are pushing the cart while Syra was getting us what all I told her. Sanskaar was actually looking tired, last night he returned late and couldn't take complete rest.

"What's the next muma?" Syra asked me

"Get the biscuits of your choice chikku" she smiled and ran.

"Chikku" Sanskaar ji raised his eyebrows.

I felt heat rish through my cheeks. "Yes" I replied almost laughing.

"You both muma and daughter keep on doing stuff these days" he nodded.

"We have all rights to do so Mr. Kumar, and yes pls don't interfere in between mumma and chikku" I teased.

He grinned and nodded. "Wese Papa needs his kiss Chikku ki mumma!!" He wisphered in my year and winked.

"SHUT UP" I wisphered, blushed and hit him playfully.

We kiss quite often these days, Steeling chances for the beautiful and passionate kisses. His touch is different. The gentleness and love I felt with him is like never before. I have moved on from my one and only relationship I had before marriage. It seems like I never had it. Today I am myself perplexed why my mind again bothers me about those hurtful memories created during my teens.

Brushing my thoughts I moved forward with Syra and Sanskaar.

"Mumma!! Now what's the next??" Syra asked

"Now i think we just need vegetable oil." I checked the list and mentioned the next and last item

She ran to the racks and waited for us. As Sanskaar directed her she pulled out a cane and he put that in the basket.

We had just taken a turn I collided with a man behind.

"Sorry .. I am sorry " I wisphered and walked past him.

"Mumma are you okay" Syra quized as she saw Sanskaar supporting me a little before I lose my balance.

" Yes Chikku" I replied and we took a few steps.

Soon after the billing we hired a rikshaw home. I sensed a sudden discomfort on Sanskaar's face.

"What happened?? " I asked perplexed

"Nothing, I thought someone following us." He said as he glanced at the back Honda City that had halted a few meters.

"He is behind since the market" Sanskaar added.

"Leave it! It may be just a coincidence!!" I said and lifted a bag. Me and Syra began to move inside our flat. It had been a few months to our marriage and still I can't understand the type of glances I get from some of my neighbors. The top floor of the appartment just has 2 flat ours and Ragini and Laskh's.

Sanskaar followed us but he was again and again taking a look at the black Honda City. Even when we entered our place he kept checking the car. He relaxed an hour later only when the car left.

"Sanskaar ji!! Leave it!! Why are you worried?" I said as I saw him noticing the car that left.

"I don't know Swara, I am not just feeling comfortable with the presence of that car!!" He said still worried.

"Now it's gone na..."

"Yes" He smiled

"Then you should come and rest! You are already tired and do you have your shift today as well" I turned back to ask.

"Hmmm.."

It made me sad. I was moving forward when Sanskaar pulled me closer.

"Have Syra fallen asleep?" He asked in a husky voice

I just nodded as he moved closer and slowly pecked my lips. I clutched his shirt very tightly. He pecked my lips once again. My breath was heavy already.

"Sorry yar!! Aaj toh jaana padega" he said embraccing me.

"It's Okay" I said wrapping my arms around him.

We rested on our sides of the bed and held hands before falling asleep.

5pm:

It was evening, there was a sudden change in the weather, it seemed that there will be a premonsoonal shower. I smiled. Sanskaar and Syra were fast asleep. I pecked their foreheads and tip toed out of the room. I visited the park near by, it was peaceful. I was enjoying my life now. After a few brisk rounds around the park I decided to go back home, if it rains then three of us will enjoy with Masala Chai.

As Soon as I walked out of the garden the black Honda City cut my way. I was surprised as well rage filled at the rash driver.

"What the hell is your problem??" I almost shouted when the driver lowered the glass of the window.

"K-A-B-I-R" I stammered.. my eyes were filled with tears of hurt my mind slipped to the memories of the past.

YEAR- 2013 MUMBAI

Bhalla Mansion

"How am I looking??" I asked Dida and Maa before leaving for my farewell.

"Great!!" My mother said.

"Miss Bose shall we leave?" I heard my dad.

"Dad!!" I hit him playfully "It's Miss Bhalla!!"

"Nope you look exactly like your mom and I used to call her Miss Bose before our Marriage, so you are Miss Bose" he said what he always quoted.

"Okay Okay !!! Mr Bhalla but now drop Miss Bose at her School today is her Fair well. "Mom ended the argument.

"Mom!!" I did not like her Calling me Miss Bose at least it was fun getting fakely irritated. My dad Maa put a little Kajal behind my year.

"Puutar (child)!!Take care Han!! Kudi kinni son lag rahi h( my girl is looking so pretty)!!"

I left with Dad. It was after the farewell when Kabir called me in the garden.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"Sshhh!!" He kepta finger over my lips.

He sat on his knees and held my hand.

"Swara, I had been try to say this for so long. I don't know how should I, am.. I love you."

For a moment my heart beats halted. I almost jerked his hands.

"Kabir!! Are you serious??" I asked shivering

"Yes! Very Serious!" He replied with sincerity.

I thought for a minute or two and turned to him.

"O..Okay!! Let's give it a try" I said slowly.

His face beemed with happiness as he pulled me into his arms.

"Thank you Swara!! Thank you so much!!" He wisphered in my year.

I just smiled a little and slowly responded to his hug.

PRESENT

He moved out if his car and held my hand.

"LEAVE MY HAND KABIR" I shouted

But he pulled me in the back seat of the car.

"KABIR" I shouted again.

He threw me in and sat in with me. I moved away to get out from the other door, when he closed the car. I banged the door.

"Help!! Help!!" I shouted

When he covered my mouth with his hand and came almost over me.

"What was that?" He asked. "Are you married?"

His voice was dangerous.

My eyes were again and again filling with tears. I did not wish to meet this man. I pulled my hand out of his grip and bangged the window. His eyes burned more with rage and perhaps jealousy. He again grabbed my hand. I tried pushing him away but he was more powerful.

"Leave Me KABIR!! Please!!" I shouted again.

He moved closer to my lips. I brought my hand in between and turned my face. In between my struggle with my ex there entered a hand from out side the front window which was left open. He unlocked the door and Kabir's grip over me loosened. I was relaxed as I saw Sanskaar. He freed me from the grip of the devil.

"Are you okay??" He wiped my tears, and perhaps sensed the fear in my eyes. He turned to Kabir who had moved out. The next second Kabir's cheek was burning red, as Sanskaar slapped him hard.

"You bloody Swine!!" Kabir spilled Venom

But then hissed pain as Sanskaar held his hair and pressed his face against the car.

"Dare NOT DO THAT!! Or it will be worst of a consequence." Sanskaar warned him.

He held my hand and we began to leave.

"Swara I want to talk, Please!!" Kabir called from behind.

"First get yourself Civilised Mr. .. Kabir I guess " Sanskaar said and turned to me. I looked down, I couldn't meet his gaze.

We again took a few steps when Kabir held my hand.

"Swara!! please!!" He requested this time.

I jerked his hand and slapped him hard.

"Stay AWAY!!" I shouted and tried to go.

"Swara I still love you" He said and my steps froze. I glanced at Sanskaar who was looking at me equally surprised.

"I Don't!! I am married we have a kid. Anything else." I said

"Just one second" he almost begged. I held Sanskaar's hand, who pressed it assuringly. We two moved with him to a bench in the park.

"I want to talk alone" Kabir said.

"No" I held Sanskaar's hand.

"I am just near, you talk" Sanskaar assured and moved a few meters away.

I glanced at Kabir who began speaking.

" SWARA listen I saw you just today in the market. Remember you collided with me this morning." I frowned at his statement but then I glanced at him so that he continues-" See Swara this Sanskaar has nothing. No house not even a good job and don't tell me you were married at 17 that you have a 5 year old kid. I know you are lying. I don't know if he is divorced or windower whatever, you don't deserve to be with this poor crippled Swine. Come with me, we both will run together now, I have a car we both will sit and go away. This Sanskaar won't be able to do a thing neither he will be able to run. And see Swara I have money and I am a businessman, I have a huge Mansion I will keep you like a princess. " He halted.

I knew him well "And what about Dida?" I asked raising my eyebrows.

He was cooled down instantly and smiled. He thought a little and then spoke up-" Okay !! DONE !! I will keep her with us!"

"Keep her , is she your Maid Kabir" I asked hurt.

"Swara come to the point."

"This is the difference Kabir! You can be someone's ATM but Sanskaar is worthy of being a husband, he is a life partner and you are just a bank account. He has a heart and you just have Money. So now get Lost and let there be peace in my life. " I said and moved to Sanskaar.

"Ho gaya!!" Sanskaar asked.

"Ji, woh I am sorry!!"

"Sshhh!!" He kept his finger on my lips. "We will talk later, whenever you are comfortable and I told the black car is following us."

I nodded and hugged him. He patted my forehead.

We relaxed as we saw Kabir's car pace away.

"How did you know I am in the car?" I asked Sanskaar

"I don't know but I just wasn't comfortable when I found your absence so came here to check"

"Then"

"Nothing!! I saw someone banging the door of the black car and it was you so!!" I again rested my head over his chest. "I am sorry" I wisphered

"No need" he said and we sat on the bench. He offered me some water.

"Syra is still sleeping?" I asked him.

"Yes" he replied.

I rested my head over his shoulder and tried to calm myself. I have a long story to narrate afterall. He too kept his head over mine and wrapped his arms around me.

We exchanged no words, the silence conveyed the feelings of the hearts. Today made my believe stronger that I am with the correct man. The one rich in feelings and not just money. Today I have even more respect for Sanskaar. More than before. I have perhaps fallen for him more than before.

Have seen u after long time...chapter 8 and 9 update was beautiful as usual...why and how ragini mom hate sanky???loving swasan very much...but sanky behaviour was not goodwith swara...hope he realize that...

I liked how sanky changed his behaviour towards swara and showed some affection to her...which she deserved...loved the change...I liked the twist a lot...swara had a past too...Kabir...Waiting to know what caused their break up...will he stop following her or not...what will happen in swasan life now...hope the truth of sanky revealed soon..

Love

Talia

awesome update dear

its really amazing

Hello everyone Harshita here. Today my exams have ended so by this Monday I will try to come up with a new update which will be a long one. Also, I am not much social due to heptic schedule so here today I want to know all my readers and make friends with you all. Down in the comments section you may ask questions related to story or me and also tell me things about you. We can chat along in the comments section and be friends with course of this story. Do respond to this section here and let's have a celebrated chinwag. I also want to say that I welcome any sort of criticism from you all. Please do bring that up I assure no sort of bashing for criticism and no hard feelings. I as a new beginner want to improve and you all who are taking your precious time out for reading my work can be the one who can help.

So I am here online waiting for you all to begin with the conversation.

First of all i like to Ask When Swara will Come to know about Sanskar JoB?

how will She will React?

2) Will Swara Ever Leave Sanskar When She will comes to Know about Sanskar job? or will She Stay up for Syra?

3) How Long Does Sanskar Have to Suffer all this? Is there is No End to his Suffering?

😳

Baarish

Chapter 10

"The body of a sensualist is the coffin of a dead soul.There is absolutely no worse death curse than the humdrum daily existence of the living dead."

C.N.Bovee And Anthon St. Maarten

"Swara let's go home, I will make you some masala chai and padkoda if you want" Sanskaar wisphered in my ear.

I inhaled the fresh air for a few seconds and moved closer to him inhaling his scent forgetting the horrific event in Sanskaar's soothing grip around me, he was trying his best to get me out of the trauma.

"Okay" I agreed "Aren't you angry?"

"Should I be! It's not your fault!" He said and my eyes locked with his. Those black orbs that seemed to drip a lot of love just for me.

"Han but to tell me your story " he continued.

"Sure" I shrunk my alvioli and exhaled carbon once again.

"Shall we go back" he asked and we held hands as we moved back to the apartment through the empty corridors.

He fried some delicious pakoda for us and prepared two cups of sizzling tea.

It had been raining. Syra had gone with Ragini at her place. We both placed two chairs next to a window and I began narrating my story from the time Kabir proposed me.

YEAR 2013.

Sea View Hotel:

Being the girlfriend of a rich brat was so easy, it was one of his parties, his birthday party. Fitting my body into least of clothes and draping the hottest of colour around my skin I was on the dance floor with Kabir,

"Are you Enjoying Swara" he shouted in my ear.

"Hell Yeah!!" I swung my arms in the air.

"Your family did not object?" He asked

"They are out of town" I answered

He smirked and pulled me closer through my waist. In a corner, away from the crowd we kissed, there was so much lust that I had mistaken for passion. The meeting of lips changed into a sensous and lusty meeting of bodies in one of the hotel rooms.

I was in a hollow relationship of lust and money, in which materialistic minds were overuling their minds. Sadly I had mistaken it for love and care, but how long could one be blinded. The relationship of mere attractions was leaving as soon as Autumn arrived. He left me alone before the harsh winter of my life.

He was into new random love or just finding new girls while I was in tears of pain for aborting our baby. Perhaps it was for my own good.

His presence deterioriate me as a person, I lost self respect in the fakeness of his love. I was craving for an attention and love which was just a mirage of the lost traveller.

It was a pleasant evening when I was in a park all lost in the grief of loosing my baby when I saw his car halting, I smiled a little and thought finally he cares. I ran near but my heart broke into thousand little peices when I saw him almost physically engaged with some other girl. Perhaps he saw me and halted. I had already turned to leave when he ran behind and held my hand. I jerked him and ran away.

The next day I saw him changing, his attitude his behavior and his constant attempts to seek apologies. Insane for a fake relationship I just forgive him for the little diamond ring.

It went all right until a cold morning in the November. I was in the college when there was a call from principal's office. I moved there just to recover the worst news of my life.

"Swara Bhalla" Receptionist asked me.

"Yes"

She just forwarded the receiver.

My dida was crying badly. I ran home to see the dead bodies of my father mother and grandmother. I was shocked and shattered to the extent that I lost my consious. Alas, I had to wake up to meet the never changing realities .The beginning of November marked the beginning of the coldest day of my life our biggest factory unit had a blast. Along with my family even the workers had died. Remaining factories and even our house was sold for paying the salaries, compensation for the deaths and loans. I was left empty handed.

When I needed him the most he had vanished like fog. I was left alone with my aliling dida. It was the time when we didn't had the money to pay for her medication. Only a friend Shirshty was there though out.

The last conversation with her is still fresh in my mind.

"Hello Shrishty" I picked her call up.

"How is dida?" She asked

"She isn't good" my voice began to shake and grew watery as tears began to chock my throat. "She is having a fever since days."

"Did you get her medicine"

"She asked not get them"

"And you didn't "

"Yes"

" IDIOT get her the medication, wait I shall get them!" Shrishty shouted.

"But.. "

"NO ifs NO buts. It's already dark" she cut me.

We met and I served dida dinner and later gave her medicines. She was too feeble to protest. She needed them. Once we walked out I asked shirshty about Kabir.

"Shirshty I am leaving tomorrow for Kolkata please tonight I just want to meet Kabir once" I requested her.

"You are insane Swara, he is a brat, he doesn't care" she scolded and tried to get me back to the reality but love is blind and so was I.

She called him and asked to meet near the park.

We both sat in her car and the driver took us there. We moved a little away from the driver. In a few minutes Kabir reached there. Before I left I wanted to embrace him and promise him that I will come back just for him. I wanted to adore his face long enough so that I don't forget it.

I ran to him in an attempt to wrap my arms around him but he pushed me away so hard that I feel on the rough road. My knee began to bleed.

I glanced at him in a shock. Shrishty ran to me.

"I told you Swara he is a brat" she said glaring at him.

"Shut your mouth bitch!!" He said.

I felt disparaged.

"Kabir!" I wisphered all in tears when he bent a little and pressed my cheeks harshly between his fingers.

"Swara Bhalla!! You are Nothing to me. I was tolerating you just for two things - one for fulfilling my desires. After all you are so much good in bed and second your money. Your dad was rich!" He got up and smirked.

"So!!" I quized him.

"He could have given so much money for getting this tape removed from internet or rather so much money to us" he said and played a clip on his phone. It was the first time we made out. I felt betrayed and cheated. I was heartbroken at his betrayal and surprised at his fakeness and selfishness. It was the first time reality stuck me hard and bad.

" A Waste of time !!" He wisphered and deleted the clip to my comfort. He bent and held my hair. I hissed badly in pain.

"Don't ever show me your face you ho!!"

"KABIR LEAVE HER" shirshty shouted in an attempt to get me out of his grip but he slapped her so hard that her head hit a pole and she lost her consious.

"How about a nice good bye Swara?" He began messaging my bosoms. I was getting uncomfortable. He dragged me to a corner.

"Kabir please leave me !! Please!!" I cried and begged. He lowered my top and began chewing my body like an animal. I tried getting away, pushing him but he was much stronger. Shirshty stayed near by and her driver called her brother. Raman Bhaiya and her driver saved me before something more worst could happen. He wrapped his coat around me. In the car Shirshty applied ointment over my wounds.

It was the last time I behaved like a kid. Realities were face to face, my dida needed me and I needed her. Raman Bhai and I talked for an hour that night. He consoled me and asked me not to spoil more of time and energy after a wrong man. Who so ever will be made for me, will come to me automatically. He adviced to leave everything and began my new life from the new dawn.

I moved away and we settled in the village in Kolkata. Life changed, it wasn't easy yet I was happy. I knew I had to work for dida and do something for her she was my only family.

PRESENT

"Then" Sanskaar asked.

"Nothing I met you and now we are here, with you and Syra. I want to live my complete family, dida Ragini Laksh Sujata Maa and everyone." I added "I just wish Maa gets well soon."

"She will" Sanskaar said and brought me a glass of water he wiped my tears and pecked my forehead.

Perhaps the best remedy for my aliling heart whose old wounds were scratched again.

"Sanskaar ji you know I am am Idiot what I did to myself I am ashamed." I buried my head in his chest.

" It's Okay Swara mistake is a human nature, and you are an honest and brave girl, you accepted your mistakes, confessed them and now moving on! That's it. That's all what is needed." He soothed me. I was a little less guilty.

"I know Sanskaar ji I am hurting you a lot but when you came to meet us before our Marriage I never wanted to be with you. I told Dida about it but she convenced me, I think she was right. You are different." I held my words and embracced him tightly.

"And now I really love you" I finally completed my statement. His one hand was wrapped around me. His grip was so strong. He didn't move at first but then wisphered "Love you too". We held on the moment wishing for the time to halt. Embraccing each other, we stayed still for long.

Sanskaar POV-

The time has halted and I wish we could stay still forever. Forever in her arms, forever here, in the heaven. I wish to get sanctified with her love. This moment had brought to me the melodious music of love, it seems like an ointment to my burning wounds of helplessness. My thoughts were gay alas I had a fear still pertaining under the layers of my heart. The foundation of our love had the defects of lies. Perhaps I don't deserve this love and dedication but I am selfish very selfish to have the desire to keep her love confined to me. Only me. She is all mine alas, my petite desires of being all hers seems an Utopicdream.

We broke the hug. Our faces we're close. Our warm breaths were mixing as we moved close and in a blow of immense passion and love pressed our lips against each other. Our salivas mixed as I explored her mouth. Her hands found a way to unbutton my shirt and mine unzipped her kurta. I bent down and pecked her neck followed by a trait of wet kisses over her shoulder. Her kurta slipped down her body and fell on the floor, the next was the music of her bangles falling on the floor. Her cheeks acquired a crimson red shade as she pulled my shirt away. Our eyes met and we halted, the love over powered the passion and we halted our course of action. Our lips stretched and moisture built in our eyes as we were reminded of our promises. We had to wait a little more for this. I wrapped my hands around her half bare body and pulled her into my embrace. We let our hearts converse silently in the beautiful language of love. My tears were escaping my eyes. I was guilty, I could have just spoilt her life in the fraction of second, in the little flow of passion I could have committed the biggest mistake of my life.

I exhaled and glanced at the clock, it was already 8. I pecked her forehead and wisphered in wet voice -" I have to go !!" She nodded and stayed still. Her grip wasn't approving with her action. "Can't you stay?" She wisphered in my chest.

"I wish to " I replied and sunk my face more in her neck. "But I have to go" I added.

This time she loosened her grip and nodded she picked up her kurta and wore it. While and picked up her thin metal bangles.

"Sanskaar ji!! I will do it" she said as she saw me.

"SSHHH!!" I placed my finger on her lips. It was pleasant to see her blush as I slid those bangles in her hand.

In about an hour I bid a bye to both Syra and Swara. I wasn't willing to go but had to. With a heavy heart I left.

I checked my phone, it had a text message displaying the address of a hotel. I reached there with heavy heart. The lady was one of the usual customer, well I hated to attend. She gifts me an injury on her every visit. I wonder what it would be this time. I had absolutely no idea how will I even touch her. I couldn't do it today. Not at all. Never, I thought. I was moving close to her but then refrained. I moved back. I widrew.

"WHAT??" She almost shouted.

"Amm.. I am sorry. I .. I shall arrange you some other boy!!" I said and pick my shirt up.

"What the hell!! You bloody crippled Ho" she shouted and I closed my eyes as I wished to gain control over my rage. I opened my eyes to just to receive a harsh hit from the metal vase kept by the side table. I hissed in pain and almost fell down. My shirt was half on my body. I felt the blood dripping down my head. I was enraged, still I got up just to leave. When she pulled me towards her, already dizzy I fell on the bed and lost all the control. My head was aching badly as it received a second hit from the wooden headrest while I fell on the bed. My body began feeling heavy, I was loosing consious I wish I could hold on my senses. I wanted to go to Swara, alas, I couldn't, my eyes just saw the lady with a sly smile.

"Please Let ----- Me Go" I wisphered with tears twinkling at the corner of my eyes before the complete blackout. The little I could feel with my numbing mind and aching head was her unpleasant sensous touch against my will. Alas, I couldn't do anything to protest, my body was numb. My heart had already broken, my soul which was trying to catch a little light was darkness doomed again.

I woke up it was about 1 am. My shoulder had a pearcing burning pain. Wondering what it could be I lifted my body. It was the dying roll of the cigarette that had kissed my shoulder through my shirt. I extinguished it and got up, there were tears bluring my vision. I was forced once again. I wore my clothes and walked out with my bag. I walked like a corpse. The only reason I was living was because I was still breathing. Tears were burning my cheeks, my eyes were swollen. My soul that found a little light was now completely dead. It was about half an hour later I reached a temple. I mounted at the stairs and with a bleeding heart I questioned the creator on his cruelty. I cursed him,hated him and this life he had given me. It's just a dark passage, I am moving forward just to get hurt. I fall Everytime I get up, there no wall but just a dark hollow passage where death is easier than moving on. My body seems nothing else than a coffin to my perished hopes, mind and spirit. I just stayed there waiting for the burial of this coffin. Alas, it seemed like there wouldn't be any untill the dead emotions in me will rot and decay even this coffin