Chapter-1
A/N- watch teaser first. Hope u enjoyed.
Teaser-
~He is a broken soul. A new man everyday or perhaps the same old Sanskaar with new Scarres~
I was sitting on a bench in the chilling winter night. My phone had been beeping since long. I finally took it out. It was Madhav.
"Bol" I said and picked up the call.
"It's 8" he said. "Reach by 10:30 max"
"Okay" I replied disinterested and disconnected.
I brushed my fingers through my hair. I let the carbon out of my lungs. I was tired and thinking what to do?I stood up and adjusted my left paralyzed leg. It just held my support stick and limped up to the grossary story and purchased some bread jam and milk.
I brought some Greens from the local vender and entered my house. It wasn't a house. It was a box, a 1bhk rented box. I smiled seeing her. Syra my.. I don't know who.. whatever I love her like my own kid.
"Syra" I called her. My Little Angel came to me. She wrapped her hands around my feet I smiled. I couldn't lift her up and moved to the kitchen.She followed me and I made her sit
"Sanskaar u know today I learnt to how to draw a butterfly." She said.
She was very excited. I pecked her cheek and made her sit on the slab.
"How?" I quized her back.
I began preparing the dinner.
Syra- See Sanskaar u know 'B', u know Na how to write it?
Sa- Han Babu
Syra- okay. So write B and then write "Zero" 0 . Samjhe kya tum.
Sa- Han I got it dear.
Syra- okay. Now write V above and below the 0 and then again write B.
Sa- phir.
Syra(trying to think)- hmm yes then add 2 antinas and butterfly is ready.
Sa- That's great. What else u learnt.
I quized her and began preparing chapati.
Syra- I learnt tables of 2,3 & 4.
Sa- really. Okay toh jaldi se suno phir.
Syra- okay .
She kept on reciting her tables and then her poems. I prepared the dinner and placed the served dish on the dinning table. She jumped down and walked behind me continuously talking.
Sa- okay okay my Syra now listen have ur dinner.
Syra- no u feed me.
I smiled and feed her the dinner. I then lifted her up in one of my arm. She was already sleepy. I narrated her a bed time story and she slept holding my hand.
It was 9:30 pm here is the beginning of the darkest hours of my life. Black and stained. I moved out had my dinner. I took a big dow ball and rolled it into a rough circle. It was a big tasteless burnt chapatti but now it hardly affects me. My life from 9:30 pm to 2:00 am is like that of an animal. I had made a perfect thin round and soft chapati for Syra, idk y but when it comes to me I don't feel like making it nicely. I had some of it remaining I feeded to the street dog. He too didn't had it completely. I let's sigh out. I got ready and left. I knocked my neighbour n also friend's door. Laksh came out.
L- (wet eyes) Sanskaar.. kab tak u will do this.
I patted his cheek.
Sa- I have to do this Laksh u know it. U just take care of Syra. Pls
I requested him.
L- U don't need to remind me every night. I and Ragini will be there. Okay.
I nodded my eyes glued to the ground.
Sa- I am sorry for this inconvenience ...
Before I could complete he pulled me in hug.
L- never say like that. What u have done for me Syra and Ragini. I don't know if anyone does something like this even for their own family. U have given life to us orphans Sanskaar.
I responded back but shortly broke the hug and left as I saw Ragini approaching. I had no guts to meet her eyes.
R- Sanskaar bhai.
She called and I stopped but didn't turn.
Sa- bolo
R- 3 months and U didn't even talk to me once.
Sa- how am I supposed to? I thought u will be ashamed of me.
R- I am not pls embrace Ur so called sister Atleast once.
Sa- u r like my sister Ragini. More than a real one.
I pulled her in a hug. I pecked her forehead and left.
I checked Madhav's msg. My pimp.
"10:30 pm, hotel blue ribbon, Room no. 204, Money deposited." I let a sigh out and left.
I reached the hotel room. I entered and there was a middle aged lusty women waiting for me. I moved to her. The next was my task to give her pleasure. I felt disgusted at my ownself but I couldn't help. While most of people surely accept for Laksh and Ragini think I work at a night call centre with a humble salary. I work here with Madhav a pimp. He supplies both girls and boys. My cost currently is 20,000 for a night with one girl and so on if it is two or let it be. Out of which I get half IE. 10, 000. I get paid on the nights I work. He cuts the money if any customer complaints or if I get late or something.
Night 2:00am.
She was done. I lifted my self from the bed and began to leave. When she spoke.
Lady- Stay here u filthy human.
Sa- anything else ma'am.
She got up and held a belt in her hand.
Lady- I will pay u extra 5000 if u will stay and do as I say otherwise I will ask Madhav to deduct 5000 from ur price for tonight
I couldn't afford to lose 5000. Money was my need. More than I needed food I needed money. I stayed there. She began to beat my with the belt untill my body began to bleed. I clutched the messed sheets. She then licked my blood and I won't describe the next and further course of my actions in the bed with her.
Today I returned home at 5. My body was acing and back was burning due wounds. It was time for Syra to wake up and go to school. I remembered purchasing milk last night hence I moved back home directly after collecting money from Madhav.
I put the milk on the stove and woke Syra up. She embraced me. It was nice but I hissed in pain as her hands touched my back.
Syra- kuch hua kya Sanskaar.
Sa- nope.
I fooled her with an assuring smile.
She came out after bathing. I helped her tie her hair in a pony.
Syra- Sanskaar my hair are long. Can u tie them in a braid.
I was confused but after some 6 efforts I did that. Thanks to google. I know syra's hair roots might be paining. I felt sorry for her. I made her have her breakfast and then Laksh took her to the busstop. I bid her a bye.
I removed my jacket and shirt. I had a shower. The morning is extremely chilling to avoid water heater.
I moved out and straight away began to study. I had to complete my college to get a decent job or perhaps it's not my fate. A prostitute like me don't deserve to be anywhere else.
I was drowned in my books when Ragini knocked the door.
Sa- hi Ragini. Good morning.
R- Good Morning Bhai. Did u have anything??
Sa- yes
I lied as usual with a smile dancing on my lips. She agreed.
R- Bhai u don't pay to the canteen I will make the lunch for three of us.
I immediately got up.
Sa- Aaa.. it's. It's not needed actually. I am fine. It's just cheap Ragini. U don't waste Ur time. Go and study.
I patted her cheek. She left.
I walked to the kitchen and garbbed some cold bread loafs and munched them after spreading jam over them.
9:30 I packed my bag and joined ragini and Laskh we three reached the college. I moved to the latest bench not wanting to be noticed. I am a defamed crap. I don't want Ragini or Laskh to get affected by my presence in their lives. No one here talks to me. Offcourse those who had an air about what I do feel either disgusted or they make fun of me. Today results were out. Laksh came running to me.
L- Bhai u came third.
I smiled a little
Sa- it hardly matters how did u both scored.
R- Apne Bhai se padha tha toh first toh mein hi aaungi na.
Sa- N u.
L- second
He said with his face fallen.
Sa- kyun??
I fakely frowned.
L- isko cheating karne mein hua Bhai otherwise toh mera bhi first pakka that.
R- Ohoho.. cheating Karane mein ya ghoor ghoor k dekhne mein Han...
L- toh tumne cheating ki thi na. Kisne kha that wear that pink top. I was blown.
They both burst into laughter and I kept on smiling untill the students began to assemble.
Sa- Laksh Ragini go now.
L- but y... U..
SA(cuts)- I won't listen to anything just go mean go..
Thy left. The professor entered.
P- SA.. Sanskaar Kumar.
Sa- yes sir.
P- Bhai Saab kanhan rehte h ap.
He said adjusting his glasses.
Sa- sir.
I was perplexed. He laughed.
P-Come here. Come here.
I was scared. I knew what could be the next. I adjusted my support stick and slowly began to move.
Student- Sanskaar go there Han. Hope u know difference between 'come here' and 'cum here'
My eyes glued to the ground as I halted my steps. I was humiliated.
P- Kya hua u didn't had Breakfast?
Sa- no.. sir . Just...
I couldn't complete when someone else from the back commented.
Student- No sir he had energy booster tablets.
Mositure welded up in my eyes as they spoke and the complete hall filled with laughter. Even the professor had called me for this mocking session. He too laughed. I simply returned to my seat and sat silently. I drank water to refrain the tears from escaping my eyes.
It hardly matters now what all they say. Perhaps it hardly affects now. I am used to it. They enjoy their puns and I know all I have to do is to stay silent. I did that and attended my lecture. I still remember when Laksh got agressive. He still gets angry upon these guys but I don't want them to know that he n Ragini are my friends. or they have to face the equivalent humiliation. It was recess. All moved out. Laksh was walking upto me. I simply halted him with my hand. He was furious and left. Ragini glared at me with moistured eyes. I simply signalled her to go with Laksh. I bend my head down on my desk and tried getting some sleep. I could feel the building temperature in my body. I checked my bag. I had forgotten my tablets. I felt hungry but felt too weak to walk upto the canteen. I muched a few Parle -Gs and drank some water. I again rested my head on the desk. Soon the new lecture began and I was again attending it.
The college was over at about 3 pm. I walked out. Laksh was angry at me. He left with Ragini already. I moved to my place. He had dropped Syra home. I made her some lunch and sent her to the bedroom for a nap. Infact I joined her. It was tough for me to rest my back over the bed. I laid upside down.
Laksh POV-
It was about 5 pm when Syra knocked our door.
Syra- Chachu.. chachi...
We hurriedly opened the door. Ragini lifted her and wiped her tears.
R- ka hua Babu.
Syra- woh woh Papa.. Sanskaar ... He ... He is not getting up.
L- WHAT.
Worried I reached his room. He was lying unconscious over the bed. I called the doctor. He arrived and checked him. He had fever perhaps due to lack of proper sleep. Me and Ragini cancelled all the private tuitions we were supposed to take. Sanskaar was given medicines. I noticed his back red as his shirt was slightly pulled up. I and the doctor removed his shirt. It had beating marks. I had already sent Ragini and Syra out. We applied medicines and him rest.
R- how is he ?
L- we will talk later.
I said and moved to drop the Doctor.
Evening 7 -
Sanskaar was resting. But I was restless. Syra was asleep. She had cried a lot. It was too much for a 5 year old.
Me and Ragini were in our room.
L- We need to get him married I said.
R- Are u sure.
L- yes I am.. u know it's high time he is too broken to live any further Ragini. His eyes they reflect his wish for death. He is dying. Trust me if he is there doing this work and living it's just for u me and Syra. He always keeps on saying once we two are settled with our jobs he will be free.
R- that's R8 he will be free from the burden of Syra u and me. He can then leave all this and live happily.
L- No Ragini. If he will be free this little reason for him to live will be over. I am scared what will happen next.
R- What u mean?
L- Ragini he needs love. U and me we love him but he needs a life partner who will heal his crushed soul and bleeding heart.
R- U r r8 laksh but how will u make him agree. He won't marry anyone like that.
L- Don't worry not me Syra will do it for us.
R- How?
I smiled and patted her cheek.
Cricket
