A/N- Hi everyone Harshita here, first of all I have changed the tittle of the story from-"Playboy" to "Baarsih" as per the suggestions given by you all. Also thank you so much for supporting the story. These weeks I am not going well. I can't say when will I be able to speed up my posts. Perhaps not any soon. I am going to a wedding next Wednesday. It doesn't mean I won't update; I will but.. it depends on the response since I need motivation for winding up quickly and appropriately at the same time. So let's set an Aim for "20 likes and 10 comments" for India Forums as well. Don't tell me it's odd, or is a sort of begging for comments etc etc. It hardly takes time and moreover it is an appreciation and motivation for my hard work. I am not demanding money but just a few likes and comments. So do it. I will update as per shedule. Or I will update otherwise as well bit then it won't be a chapter.
#I_Am_Bad 😆😆😆
Sorry for this. Enjoy Reading.
{For further PMs from this story mention in the comments below}
Playboy Chapter 7
" Some times the most beautiful dreams can be the most Fatal ones; Love is a kind of sweet poison"
Next morning-
I slowly opened my eyes. I had slept for quite long. Syra had already gone. I just sat on the bed trying to recall the events of the previous night. I smiled as I remembeered my red cheeks and my heart tickling feelings. I couldn't help but was again smiling. Sanskaar wasn't in the room. I stepped down and moved to the washroom to freshen up. I moved out in about 15 minutes. I had tied my wet hair in the towel already. The room had messed bed covers and sheets, I began folding them.
Sanskaar entered with two cups of tea wearing a tired smile over his face, or perhaps he was trying to hide his tiredness that overflowed through his eyes under his smile. I felt sad for him. He had been awake almost all night for me and Syra. He immediately moved to me and settled the tray on the table. He smiled and wished me Good Morning, as he began arranging the room. I looked up at him and smiled back.
"Good morning Sanskaar ji" I wished him back trying to maintain the charm in my voice.
In a few minutes we both settled. He had already taken a shower and was ready for the college. We began sipping the sizzling tea.
Sa- Swara what would you like for the breakfast?
He asked me. I looked up to him with a bit surprise. He wants and atleast trys to know what my wishes are. I felt happy.
Sw- Anything.
He raised his eyebrows up and then they ossilated back to their normal position.
Sa- (exhales) Okay!! So let me think, you want to eat something sweet or spicy.
He quizzed me.
Sw- Ji..
I was surprised and perplexed, brown husbands aren't expected to be that caring afterall.
Sa-( excited) are baba say na..
Sw-( thinking and making a pout) amm.. idk Sanskaar ji. I like both.
Sa- Okay done.
He briskly got up and collected the cups.
Sa- (enthusiastic voice) okay so give me 20 minutes and I will make a delicious breakfast
I was surprised and more than happy too.
Sw- Are you sure
Sa- Double sure.
He moved out. I smiled more and continued to sit at my place. Mind mind played his words again and again. My heart was dancing, I was liking the way he was, but then could I ignore the buried tiredness in his eyes. Could I ignore his painful smile. He made me smile and was perhaps smiling only for me. I immediately got up from the bed and combed my frizzy hair. I quickly paced out of the room. Sanskaar was cooking the breakfast. The whole house was filled with the sweet aroma of perhaps the desert and my mouth watered I the smell of spicy mashed potatoes tickled my nostrils and activated my salivary gland. I moved closer and saw him boiling some milk.
Sw- Sanskaar ji what are you making.
I asked he smiled and winked at me. He again looked down at the kitchen counter, but my spine experienced a chill. His lips, his eyes, his words and his actions all played in my mind like a recorded clip played on the television set. I lifted my hand and touched my cheek gently. I could feel all my emotions from the previous night again reborn. I him to say that to me again. I wanted him to come that close to me just once again. I wanted to experience each words in his voice again. That's strange and idiotic, I know, but I couldn't resist the feeling tickling the strings of the harp of my heart.
Lost in my own thoughts, smiling silly, I paced up to the dinning area in no time Sanskaar ji came close to me with a tray containing two cups of coffee. It pulled me out of my Dreamland and I realised that it must be tiring for him to do everything himself. I was about to get up to him but then he pressed my shoulder and nodded indicating I need not to get up. I parted my lips and little and attempted to protest as I wished to help him atleast assemble the dishes on the dinning table. When he bent a little and his finger rested on my lips. My eye balls rolled in a vague attempt to see his finger that gently pressed my lips, bit then enable to gain even a single glance at it I lifted my eyes and looked into his eyes.
"Sshh.. I will do it Swara" he assured. My eyes that were drowning in his eyes moved to his lips as he wisphered my name. I felt shy with our closeness, I nodded and fixed my eyes on my lap. He moved his hand, and gently cupped my face, my heart began pumping so loud that I could hear it's beating. Sanskaar ji began moving closer. I closed my eyes feeling his hot breath over my cheeks. Was he going to kiss my lips. I wasn't ure if I am ready for that. I felt nervous, I felt scared but then all of the sudden I felt immense happiness as his lips handed over my forehead. I opened my eyes. My heart was filled with gratitude and respect. He was trying to understand me. This time his cheeks were red under my gaze. He looked the other side smiling and moved to the kitchen. He himself arranged the dishes for our breakfast. I liked it there were spicy sandwiches and sweet instant brownies.
Sw- Sanskaar ji you made them.
He oscillated his shoulders up and down as he replied me.
Sa- Learnt them for Syra. I have kept some for her as well.
Sw- She likes them a lot
I asked again covering up a little jealousy that grew in my heart, I was a bit jealous of Syra how much more good it would be if he had said that it was just for me because I too love brownies. Never mind, Syra has been with Sanskaar before me and now she deserves this much atleast. She isn't like me. I who hates Sanskaar or is somewhat ashamed of him, this is too bad of me but Truely he is slowly melting away the ice like layer of hate on my heart. I have started like him to some extent.
We had our breakfast and left for the college. Today too we followed the same fashion as yesterday. Unlike the previous day today Sanskaar sat even more unnoticed, the day was calm no one fooled or joked about him with the professor. Apart from the very annoying people who mocked him while moving out of the classroom. It was sad yet he seemed to be habbitual to this,neither he nor I tried to stop them. I didn't relveal any of my husband's name or information to anyone who was talking to me. I didn't wish to. Also I didn't go to the class even once during the whole recess time. I simply learnt a lesson yesterday, but then it was kind of tough I didn't even know weather he had even some biscuits or not. The restlessness grew and I excused myself and moved to the classroom. He was drowned in his book. All I could see him eating was a little packet of Parle-G biscuits and his water bottle was open. It seemed as if he was swallowing them just because he didn't wish to faint. I grabbed a book and went out. I felt more sad because he didn't even bother to spare a look at me. I ignited it and sat with Ragini and Laksh revising the topics taught.
As usual we reached home and Sanskaar returned back with Syra. We had lunch and dinner together. All this time I was carving for his attention which he perhaps refused to give, at night he left for his Call Centre.
Sanskaar POV-
How fatal can love be? I thought as I killed time sitting on a bench in the cold breeze. I lost all control of my tears that continuously escaped my eyes, leaving a burning rageful due to their continuous flow. I couldn't resist my love, it made me weak. My fingers rested on my lips as I felt my memories I stole from this morning peircing my heart. I couldn't forget how good it felt when my lips rested over her skin. I wished I could hold her close and tight but then refrained. I had to. I checked the time it was already 2:30 am I had to go back home. I splashed water on my face and with my water bottle and left.
I wish some magic could happen I can just come out of this mess.
Swara POV-
2 Months Later-
Time flew in the blink of an eye. Today we returned home as usual but I am relaxed as we will put an end to our usual heptic schedule. From Tomorrow our Vacations are going to start. I turned towards Sanskaar his body was under rest and tired. He had been working during nights for so long. He was deprived of proper sleep. We moved in and entered our room. It had been so long that we couldn't sit and talk. It's high time we give time to each other. He moved to his closet and I moved to my closet and grabbed my loose PJ pants and a comfortable top, I could see him taking out his clothes too.
Sw- Sanskaar ji you go first I will go to pick up Syra.
He gave a tried smile and nodded. He moved to the washroom. I moved to the kitchen and took out chopped vegetables, I kept them on the kitchen slab and put rice in the pressure cooker. I left.
Me and Syra came back and Sanskaar ji was cooking for us.We smiled and changed he was waiting for us with the sizzling vegetable pulao. We all settled on the table. I served him and Syra. Even though I was hungry as hell but then Syra wished that I feed her.
Syra- Muma, Sanskaar listen Yesterday Chachi said that she and Chachu will go to meet Nani maa i Will also go with them. I miss them so much.
Sanskaar's faced dropped color for a second. It was clear he was going to miss Syra a lot, but then he covered his face and emotions under his smile and nodded. My heart also dropped for once, staying with Syra was a part of my habbit. She will go for at least a week and it will honestly be tough.
Syra- Maa will you help me pack my stuff.
She asked very ethusicastically. I smiled.
Sw- Han babu okay I will but now complete your lunch.
And I put another spoon full of rice in her mouth.
Sa- Swara you must be hungry, Syra pls babu let muma also eat come I will feed you.
Sanskaar insisted when Syra wrapped her arms around my waste immidiately.
Syra-(frowns) NO. Only muma will feed me.
And she hide her face more in my embrace. Sanskaar looked at me helplessly when I blanked my eyes in assurance. He then resumed eating and so did Syra.
Once Syra slept I got up slowly. Her grip over me was very strong, it seems as if she didn't wish me to go anywhere. I smiled but then made her hold the pillow. I stood up and saw Sanskaar sleeping on the other side very tiered. He was in deep sleep. Leaving both of them I moved to have my lunch I was hungry as hell.
The hot afternoon cooled down and turned into the evening, me and Syra just winded up the packing. She was very excited to go and visit her Nani maa. Sanskaar was in the kitchen, his face showed clearly he was already missing Syra. Ragini and Laksh were waiting for her. In no time I helped Syra put on her pink frock and little white Sandels. I tied her hair up in a fowntain poly. She was looking cute as pretty like a doll. She held my hand and I picked up her bag, we moved out. As soon as we reached the dinning area she ran and climbed up Ragini's lap. Laksh held her bag. Soon she bid me and Sanskaar a bye and left with them. I will miss her so much, I thought and turned to Sanskaar who now was sitting on the couch morose. I felt sad for him.
Sw- Missing Syra.
I quizzed him.
He blink to hide the little moisture and smiled half, quite painfully.
Sa- Yes. These vacations are always tough.
I too sat beside him, I was about to extend my hand to reach his shoulder when my phone rang it was dida. I picked it up.
Sw- Hello Dida. Kesi ho aap.
Dida- I am good Shona, see I was waiting for so long that when your summer vacations will begin you will come here and meet me.
My heart fell in the pit of my stomach and eyes began to water. I was missing her embrace, her fragrance since so long. I wished to rest my head in her lap. I wiped the tears in my eyes when she began to panick on phone reason being my tears.
Dida- SHORU!! hello... Shona.
Sw- Ji. .. ji dida
Dida- Tu aa rahi h na.
Sw- Dida han woh I will come but once let Syra come back, I told you na she is going with Ragini. Otherwise Sanskaar ji will be left alone here.
I looked into his eyes as said that. His eyes showed content. I too felt happy, I couldn't resist but held his hand.
Dida- okay then promise me you and Sanskaar will come here once Syra is back. You three have to come.
Sw- Han pakka promise.
Dida- Acha challo. Take Care.
Sw- you too
Dida- bye.
Sw-(wet voice) bye.
I disconnected the call. I always miss her, it's like I want to run into her arms. I am guilty for leaving her alone in this old age. I want to take care of her. I thought many times to talk to Sanskaar about it. I feel he won't deny, but then I already know about Sujata Maa, her hospital bills and Uttara and her fees, our college fee Syra's school fee. He is already burdened up. Once I will get a job too and would be able to support him I will bring dida here.
Sa- Swara why don't you go and meet dida.
Sw- She wants to meet all three of us.
He smiled.
Sa- I am worried she is alone in the Village if you feel like we can shift her here with us.
Sw- But Sanskaar it will add additional burden on you. Let me get a job and also Ragini and Laksh. Once you will be free from our fee and we three will start supporting you then we will ask Dida to shift. Not now.
Sa- Are you sure?
Sw- 100% now also it's just a matter of 6-7 months.
Sa- Wese you will be missing dida, don't wait for Syra, if you want I will drop her there once she will be back. You should go to meet Dida.
Sw- I know I should but Sanskaar ji see after so long we have managed to get a little time for our selves. I think we need to spend more time together.
I held and pressed his hand indicating what I meant. He held it back and pecked it back. I shifted closer and wrapped my hands around him, he too pulled me in his warm embrace. It was quite a peaceful moment. Only our heartbeats could be heard. The environment was so silent and so relaxing at the same time.
I exhaled over his chest, his breath was tickling my hair, we were lost in the stillness of the moment. It seemed as if time has halted and mind felt stillness.
Our peace was over as soon as his phone began to ring. We parted and he held the phone.
It was Madhav. He was almost shouting at Sanskaar, perhaps to avoid including me Sanskaar got up and moved away, he seems to be trying hard to explain Madhav something.
In a few minutes he came back and announced,
Sa- Swara tonight I am free, I will stay with you.
My happiness knew no bounds, I almost jumped up and embraced him. When we parted his eyes confused me, they had something I couldn't read.
Sw- What happened Sanskaar ji?
He nodded in a No.
Later in the evening he took me out. It was fun. We shopped things for Syra and then for me, when I said that he should buy a few new shirts he refused saying he has enough of them.
Sw- Sanskaar ji pls na see this blue colour suits you so much.
Sa- but Swara I already have shirts what's the need of new once.
Sw- ahem ahem (fake coughs) Mr. Kumar Day after tomorrow is your B.day okay atleast buy something for that reason.
Sa- Swara!!
Sw- I am not listening to you, tell me you want light blue or dark.
Sa- Uff you decide then.
Sw- Accha then stand here
I pointed close to me. He walked there and stood still. I put on him both the shades in my hand. To be true he was looking excellent in both.
Sw- Amm.. both are good. Then Bhaiya give both of these.
Sa- Hogaya chalen.
He asked and payed the bills.
Sw- yes.
Sa- phew.
He lifted all the bags and began moving I followed.
Sw- Sanskaar ji give some bags to me, I will help you.
Sa- it's okay Swara you come.
We moved forward. We hired an auto and reached back home. We had too much of stuff, we had purchased Some street food and then also ice creams, along with so many clothes for Syra. We wish to see her smile when she will come back. We were smiling already when we thought about her dancing and giggling.
I served the food once we changed and then me and Sanskaar sat in front of Television sets watching films.
Sw- Sanskaar ji appni wali bhi taste karao.
He forwarded a spoon full of his ice cream to me. I was in his embrace.
Sa- your turn.
I smiled mischievously and forwarded him a spoon from my cup. Perhaps he got my mind. He held my hand and ate the share. My plan was flopped, but then I continued eating. Soon the ice cream was over I rolled my finger in the empty cup covered with a think layer of milk. I wiped my finger from his face.
He was strattled, but then he gripped me close and applied some ice cream my face.
He touch the tip of his nose with mine.
Sa-(wisphered) Tit for tat.
And winked. Our eyes met, we were too close. His grip over my wiast tightened a bit more with every passing second. The empty ice cream cups rolled down and fell on the floor as we began to move closer.
My arms snaked around his neck as I pulled him closer. My lashes covered my iris as I felt his breath near me. His hot breath on my cheek began to burn my skin. He held my lips gently in his rough ones.
"SWARA???" Strattled I was pulled out of my dreams and realised that we were sitting on the couch little close to each other but not cuddled. I never put any ice cream on his face nor did our lips met.
"Swara!!" He again called me.
"Ji" I responded composing myself.
"Kya Hua??" He quizzed.
I nodded in a no. He indicated to my ice cream that was melting. I smiled half and then concentrated on my desert, it was was much better. In past two months, many things changed; he is no more annoying to me, he isn't an embarrassment to me. I am quite too used to him. The only thing which is unchanged is the distances between us. I many times thought to talk to to him some times I couldn't because of Syra, other times I refrained thinking he needs time. This confusion never left my mind. I don't know when should I talk to him, amongst this mist of confusion a tear tried escaping from the corner of my eye. I wiped it. Now I have to talk to him tonight and I will definitely talk. Soon we switched off the lights and rested on our sides of the bed. I turned to face him, his eyes were wide open.
Sw- Sanskaar ji
Sa- kaho
I tried searching for words but couldn't, confused I moved closer to him and rested my head on his bisep, my one arm rested on his chest legs were interviewed. He was looking at me in utter shock, for a few minutes we stayed like that but then he shattered the little hope I was trying to gather. He widrew his arm on which my head rested.
Sa- Swara thoda pls free my legs I need to sleep.
I nodded and again slept at a distance, he turned his back to me and slept. I too turned my back to him and slept as my eyes began to water uncontrollably. Was he not interested in me? Was this marriage only a bond for Syra. Will there be ever any relationship between us? Is our marriage a lie? Or I am just over thinking? All these questions haunted my mind. I so much wish that it's just my overthinking. I don't want any other thing to happen now. I turned my head to him once, his back was still facing me, perhaps he was fast asleep. I am determined not to give up on him. When I can accept him, then I will make him realize that I too love him, I am ready to take our relationship forward.
Wettening my pillow I slept unknowingly with swollen eyes.
Sanskaar POV-
Time changes everything, I can see and feel love in Swara's eyes but then I cannot come too close to her it will only hurt her more when truth will be disclosed. I turned my back to her and covered my face under the blanket. My eyes were filled with tears. Our closeness is fatal to me. It's so strange that my beautiful dreams are coming true quite too fatally. She loves me and strangly this too kills me, or perhaps it's the guilt of my betrayal.
She says in 6-7 months she will get dida here, idk if I would be alive till then. As soon as Laksh and Ragini will settle with a job I will tell Swara everything, Syra would be able to live with them and Swara will go back to dida. A peaceful Death is my only wish then. My guilt is already killing me more with every passing second. I don't know weather or not God will forgive me for playing with her emotions.
Edited by harshitaloomba1 - 8 years ago
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