DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF-T3-DELETED- AN-PG 1

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#271

Originally posted by: DivineDarkness
LOVED IT☺️

Mmmwah- will mark it MO too now 😳🤗

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#272

Originally posted by: CogitoErgoSum
Res 😊 whoot!! 😊

Un-Res

Hey Shru...🤗 🤗

So very touched by this lovely gift to start off my trip. 😉 Tell me when you are traveling next, and I shall strive to give you one too, my dear! 🤗

I'm typing this out from the airport lounge, after greedily re reading DK #19 for the 3rd time! I can't seem to get enough of this one!

It was so powerful, so intense and so moving, Shru. Your description of the anguish, torment and sheer heartbreaking agony Swara and Sanskaar go through, the self flagellation in both of their minds and hearts; was so stark, so hard hitting. And yet, the way they start to heal each others wounds, become each others succor and shield and salvation, really, was sublimely, evocatively beautiful.

Swara's reaction was so heartbreakingly painful to read about--a sad but very real reaction of a survivor of such abuse as Devendra inflicted. A feeling of violation of the self, feeling as if they have been polluted, made unclean. It is a sad fact, that though it is the perpetrator who ought to feel self loathing and shame, quite often it is the survivor who does so... You brought out the intensity of Swara's agony so very well. Her near hysterical plea to Sanskaar to not touch her, insisting that she needed to have a bath, to scrub herself clean of the memories of Devendra's vile attack on her...😭 My heart literally bled for her.

And Sanskaar---fighting a hell of his own. Feeling enormous, crushing guilt and remorse, feeling responsible for this happening to Swara on his watch. It was wonderful to see how single minded he was in ensuring her comfort and well being, right from the minute they rode into camp.

As a short aside from the SwaSan interaction, which was obviously and deservedly the stellar highlight of the chapter, your description of the actions of Pawan and the rest of Sanskaar's men was wonderful, too. The way his men had arranged for another tent for Swara, having been informed by the valiant Sushena that she was traveling with Sanskaar; the slight feminine touches and embellishments they strove to put into her tent, despite being completely used to the rough and ready of masculine camp life themselves; Pawan's warm, assurance and insistence to Sanskaar that he and the men needed no clarification as regards Sanskaar's intentions or of Swara's honor---they could judge the Princess to be noble and valiant by her actions, and none of them would ever indulge in any idle gossip that might besmirch her reputation. Very deft and lovely touches there, underscoring the bond between Sanskaar and Pawan, as well as between Sanskaar and his loyal, courageous band of bravehearts.

The warmth, care and succor Swara and Sanskaar provided each other were so moving and poignant to read about, Shru. The way Swara just wanted to throw herself into the warm, comforting embrace of his arms...but felt a misplaced sense of shame and guilt at herself, even thought that she might see revulsion or pity in his eyes. The fact that she had become so accustomed to seeing that tender warmth, that affectionate regard in Sanskaar's eyes was brought out well.

The whole SwaSan sequence was beautiful in a powerfuly poignant way. Sanskaar was so single mindedly focused on Swara, ensuring that his men got the warm water to fill the trough, all his thoughts focused on how to bring her out from the shock and trauma she was undergoing.

The way Sanskaar himself broke down, was an amazing sequence. The man who had valiantly borne the worst kind of torture, hardly flinched when he was being whipped again, fighting and slaying the bandits and Samkalgoonj and then Devendra's band of disgusting boors at Sanyogghad, could not bear the thought of his love going through such privation. And he holds himself responsible for what was visited on her.

And the moment Swara realizes that, it serves to shake her out of her PTSD a bit, doesn't it? Seeing her valiant knight flaying himself in misguided remorse and guilt---and the way he reacts when she runs her hand through his bent head as he is sobbing---My God, I literally broke out in goosebumps! The look Sanskaar gave her---it was literally as if he had been granted absolution, a salvation in every sense, isn't it? The lady he practically venerates, regards with such reverent, potent adoration, had made clear she does not regard him as responsible for what happened to her; they were both victims of the vile lust and evil designs of a depraved man and his followers.

The scene which followed--with them both dabbing that healing salve on each others cuts and bruises, conveyed so much love and passion without being a "seductive" scene in the traditional sense of the term. There was just so much intense, soul deep adoration there---love in its purest kind. Which encompasses the physical manifestation of ardor, attraction and desire, sure; but transcends that to become a bond between two inextricably intertwined souls.

And just as Swara had soothed the burden on Sanskaar's heart and soul, the way Sanskaar told her: "Does the Gita become impure because a sinner holds it"---👏 👏 What a wonderfully wise and loving statement that was. You know how much I adore the Gita, and this struck a very deep chord within me. There is a saying in Tamil (my mother tongue) as well, which goes that the Lotus does not become impure because its roots happen to be enmeshed in the slime. Very deep, very profound analogy you put there, Shru. And Swara felt that powerful reassurance, that Sanskaar did not in any way regard her as any different or less than he did before. What happened was hardly her fault.

And again, when Sanskaar tends to her wounds, at the vile bite and scratch marks that Devendra, poor excuse for even a rabid beast, inflicted on her; Swara felt a sense of shame, a pang that Sanskaar might feel disgusted, seeing the image of that vile man slobbering over her again. But Sanskaar had nothing but love and concern for her, anguish that she had had to undergo this, and a burning rage against Devendra for inflicting this on her. He insisted, gently, that he be allowed to apply the salve.

And I just loved the ending--how Swara just immersed herself in the warm comfort of Sanskaar's arms, wanting to literally absorb herself into him. Truly a merging of their 2 selves! That bit of his durability and her tenderness, being the covers that so craved, to draw over the rents and bruises in their souls; which only their togetherness could heal and mend--was awesome. The warmth of their intertwined bodies, their embrace, which is so pure though extremely intimate, was supplementing the recovery and healing process already started by their immense, irrevocable, though as yet unverbalized love for each other. 😳 What came through so clearly too, was the immense trust Swara has on Sanskaar. She accepted the draught with a little opium, on his assurance that it wouldn't drug her in a bad way, just anaesthetise her against her pain and enable her to have a restful sleep that would enable her healing.

And despite knowing that she would be in a deep sleep, she wanted Sanskaar right next to her, not just in the same tent, but right by her, holding her. What greater testament for the implicit adoration and trust in which she holds him, the thought that he might potentially take advantage of her never even crossed her mind. Of course he wouldn't, Sanskaar is such a deeply honorable man and loves her with such a potent adoration, besides. But for a lady who had just undergone such a traumatic assault, this is proof indeed, were any to be even needed, of the depth and intensity of her feelings. I hope Prince Sanskaar realizes this too, that he is loved by his inamorata just as much as he loves her. 😳

This is that dard ka rishta aspect of their wonderful relationship again, which I so love. You portrayed this earlier, in the fact that they were both misunderstood and literally cast out by their families, despite being completely innocent of the crimes of which they were respectively accused. The present situation added a further poignant, bittersweetly beautiful layer to this bond.

It makes their connect, their bond all that much deeper; for having battled together through shared pains and losses. Literally like the finest steel and purest gold, both coming through tests of fire. (As you know I am very partial to this analogy 😊, I had used it in Fire, and loved your take on it in your Trial By Fire too. The latter was my favorite among your works till DK came galloping in! 😉)

I could go on and on Shru, but have my connecting flight boarding soon! Loved this chapter, and look forward eagerly to #20.

Loads and Loads of Love,

---Viji

Viji dearest 🤗

Glad you liked the send off as such and oh don't worry- you can give me my return by posting your next story on your return from your trip 😉- see us lawyers- we just take when you tell us to 😈

I was so touched that you spent your time at the airport writing me such wonderful and truly heart touching comments- they literally made my week! I can't imagine carrying on with DK without some of you along on the journey now 😳

My reply as has now sort of become normal after your par excellence comments will not be good or long enough but mainly this is because when I try to respond to some parts, I begin re-reading what you said and get all over happy and distracted and then speechless 😆. We are a mental bunch huh? I actually fangirl over comments on a story 😆😆

I am so so glad you felt that I was able to project all those multiple emotions that this Chapter I felt needed, your comments made me think I achieved some of that so I can rest easier.

I couldn't agree more about the perspective of an abuse victim . The sense of shame is of course misplaced but to that person so cruelly violated it is natural and almost inevitable. Of course the heinous perpetrators feel none of it and hence lies the dilemma that has plagued most justice systems the world over in such cases- what punishment and what redemption and what solution?! But I digress! I did want to show that from Swara but in her case, have the most wonderful of men that any woman could ask for to be there every step and start to tell her and also show her that she was so far from unclean, he would not even hear that word from her 😭. Sanskaar of course as you say was burning in his own Hell- it did happen on his watch and whilst it was no one's fault he is going to take that on himself as he stepped in to save that man and then it all went from there. Not that anyone could have helped it but ...😭

Ahhh- thank you!! I very deliberately wanted to show the difference between so called high born nobility having creeps like Devendra and then Sanskaar's simple commoner army being men of decency and understanding. A reflection too of the man who leads them as he would expect some standards from them no? I love the word bravehearts for them 😃. And yes, I especially wanted to underscore to Sanskaar that the men won't judge them or think anything low of either him or Swara as their feelings can be seen to be pure and also his men know Sanskaar- he won't be conducting a tawdry affair. Even when he was with Kavita- he did want to marry her to legitimise their relation- more so than most in his position would do.

I am beyond thrilled at your reaction to the SwaSan healing sequence. I wanted to intensify what we had already had with her caring for him in the Haveli- here the undertones were far more serious and so are their deepening feelings for each other so am relieved and glad it came across how I wanted it to. You are 100% right- for Swara seeing Sanskaar who she does think of as almost a demiGod subconsciously now, breaking down was the key to unlock her own breakdown in a way, that in turn then opened the path for the PTSD to be something that can be tackled. Swara is that way- someone else's pain is always the spur for her to deal with hers and get on so she can help and especially when that someone is Sanskaar- her own she would abandon in an instant. I just felt so much when I wrote Sanskaar breaking down and then Swara touching his hair- it was to be an acknowledgement of their shared trauma and an absolution too and an acceptance that she would take his help and give hers and together they can come out of this.

I knew that you and others too like Lanny, Pri, Nyna and many more would get the intimacy of that scene in exactly the way it was meant to be - I described it to you as "making love without making love" 😳😳, and I think I hold to that. So glad you liked the allegory he drew to the Gita. The saying you mention in Tamil 👏👏. We have that too- I think both Hindi, Gujarati and probably other languages too- it's basically be like a lotus flower that is pure and unsullied despite living in mud and in fact as we often associate lotuses with pujas and even Lakshmi- it says it all 😳. I almost used the lotus analogy- soul connect again but then the Gita came to me and I used that instead 😊

You noticed that line about their qualities being the cover they each need 😳😳, mmmwah. And the way you penned the next few paras of your comments have me in blushing speechlessness- I don't know how to respond so please understand why! All I'll say is, it's such an honour to have someone who reads a work with the wholehearted attention you give it and then can encapsulate the very depths of the writer's own emotions in a truly beautifully expressed way 😳.

My exact aim with the Sanskaar asking her first and giving her a choice to drink the draught, and her total and unconditional trust in him by taking it and then wanting him to hold her all night was exactly as you saw it. I just felt this burst in my own heart thinking of this woman who has undergone what she has but knows that with this man she can literally be senseless, in his arms and he will still never ever take advantage of her. Without them having any so called legitimacy through societal norms, their relation is so above those often meaningless endorsements, this is all they need- each other. And the world can be damned. Sanskaar - yes he doesn't quite see how much she loves him too, not that she has verbalised it to herself either. He does sense she trusts him implicitly and of course more so than her he gets their sexual tension, attraction etc but he holds back as he first feels he's not good for her (oh how wrong can you be Prince!)and then he thinks he would be taking advantage of her when she is vulnerable, which he won't do What a pair eh?! We have always shared the love for that joint pain which as you say forges that relation to unbreakable state yes 😳.

This was such an amazing set of comments, am overcome again! Love you loads sis and can't wait for more discussions! Take great care of yourself!

xoxo

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krishuuuuuuuuuu

@krishuuuuuuuuuu

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#273

Unres

Shuru baby...muahhh⭐️🤗

Chapter 20 was a master piece...truly enjoyed it...👏

Opening scene was sooo ethereal..😳.two beautiful soul sleeping peacefully in each other embrace...awww... not willing to let each other go..😉.but lover boy sansku take a painfull job n torn himself apart from his soulmate..his love ..his life swara.😕..he care soo much about her dignity..😛.hmmm im in love with them...😊😃

Swara n sansku interaction...they are behaving like married couple fighting..cajoling...caring ...hehehe.. swara not ready to leave him...n sansku worried about her safety..😆

Sansku n pawan scene was sooo adorable.😆😆..his is a true n loyal friend..a cupid..how cleverly disclosed to swara about sansku not having breakfast n injury on his back...n that healing n feeding...in swasan dreamland now...😳😊

Swara n pawan horse scene was cutest..they are bonding well..😃. n then swara meeting with sushena was sooo touching.😭😭😭..sushena was in sooo much pain..but swara's words of aknowledgement n praise give him sooo much pride...if he will die...he will die in peace...hope he does not.die.😭.i like him..😊.he was the first to note spark between swasan...😳

N the climax was mindblowing...sansku army salute to swara..for her bravery n to be with their leader through thick n thin...gave immense pride to sansku n me tooo...👏😊

It was pure master piece... each part has its own essence...⭐️

Lived it...loved it😊

Update earliest...😉

Lots of kissy n hugs

Talia...

Edited by krishuuuuuuuuuu - 9 years ago

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chandanagimsy

@chandanagimsy

Inactive

Posted: 9 years ago

#274

Amazing..mind blowing..Di how can you write such..omg...pawan and swara with the horses amazing...

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NITI VYAS

@nut-kut-86

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#275

Yeh bahut bada hone wala hai.mujhe aap par dayai hai.pehle se sorry.main apni excitement mein imp bhul jau aur kuch bhi bolu tho sorry.swaras dream darwna tha .sanskaar hai but yeh drmz swara ko kitne satayenge pata nahin.swasan ka ek dusre ke saath sona bhale samaj ki nazar mein thik na ho.par undono ke liye jaruri hai.aur shayad bhale who ek dusre ko na bataye par apne aap se jante hai k iss saath ke liye who dono kuch bhi karsakte hai.aur ab sanky aur uske men ke comva sanky par kya beeti hogi jab usne swara ko bhejne ki baat ki.shayad pawan sanky ke dil ki halat samjh gaya hai.funfair suggestiin shayad sahi ho.swasan aur pawan ka convo jaise unka who chota sa banter sunke aur swara ka uss dhang se baat karna sanly ke saath dekhkar who dang rehgaya.par kyun who pehle se jaanta hai swara ki himmat ko.pawan ka marhaam patti ka kya tymng hai boss.vaatavaran saanth ho gaya.aur who bck medicine apply mujhe laga swara royegi aur sanky use hug karega par who bohut typicaal hota yeh acha tha.ab padhare veer.swara aur veer kitne ache dost ban chuke hai na.ab veer ka competitor who bhi varun .mujhe dono pasand hai.par veer winner .no discussion further.aap samjh gayi na.swara and pawan convo acha tha.aur swara ne sushena ke liye jho kiya paani pilana khilana tho thik.par uski bravery ko praise karna.phir maafi mangna jaise sushena ka jeena aur marna sarthak ho gaya ho.aur issee swara ap aur jaanki k saath khadi rehna ka pehla kadam.true queen in making and best ever lyf partner for dk.funfair chalke jaana .jitna swara veer ko ride karna chahti hai.utna hi joint ride k liye hum excited hai.and prince demanding.haa haa.phir sanky k soldiers ka swara ko sammman dena.shayad mein itni gadgad ho chuki hoon ke kuch bol nahin paaungi.waiae mujhe pawan pehle se pasand tha par an aur jyada pasand aane laga hai.tho use disloyal mat banaiyega.chalo21 k baad milte hai.kuch jyada bada ho gaya na.sorru yaar.

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#276

Originally posted by: bones123
*Updated*
Shruuu...tum kamaal ho !!

This chapter was so freaking intense and emotional !! If I haven't told you before, let me tell you now...I'm utterly in love with your Swara and Sanskaar !!

Swara's reaction was heartbreaking..her screams were so reflective of the feeling of being violated or dirty that gets ingrained in her psyche ! Victims of such crime are always left worse for wear than the actual perp !! Ugh...i want to hug her !! I was worried she was going to transfer those feelings of hate and disgust to Sanskaar because she saw DSR everywhere around, but phew thank you for not doing that...I don't think Sanskaar would have surived that guilt !

When he tries to reason with her...trying to get her to snap out of her hysteria...what a lovely way to put that across...'Is the Gita unclean, because a sinner touches it'...fabulous analogy...and I think the one that got through to her...with each word, he's trying to make her understand...how brave he thinks she is...and how amazing !! That moment was just so special !!

Heart is bleeding for Sanskaar !! I think from the ride to the camp which was overshadowed by guilt, to his reaction to Swara's outburst and his own anger at asking her to trust him, when he believes he failed her previously...😭😭😭...This brand of personal hell can have such a horrendous effect on your mind !! you can feel that in the very next paragraph, where he welcomes that icy cold water and the pain that it brings because the weight on his mind is far worse..!! :-(

Swara experiencing misdirected guilt and shame...not wanting to see pity/revlusion in Sanskaar's eyes especially since she's so used to seeing warmth and affection in them is again a sign of hwo deep the cut runs !! (loved that line about the tenderness and affection...something that she hadn't conciously registered but felt its loss deeply) ...but still her heart wants that comfort from him...it wants to be lost in him...and while she feels that shame at such thoughts, I thought it was extremely natural that you'd gravitate towards your anchor !

Sanskar's breakdown is so well written...peaks of that raw emotion that is so evident throughout this chapter ! His self flagellation is testimonial to how entwined their pain is...and as much as it rocks her...it affects him as well !! The fact that these two are only affected when the other is in pain is so well brought out here...She snaps out of her almost zombie state when she sees her strong prince breakdown...on her account...blaming himself for her state...and she reaches out...his agony unlocking her own tears and both of them at that time consumed by this overwhelming sense of grief ! Cannot ask for a better description of how perfectly they are attuned to each other !! (loved loved loved the part where he kisses her fingers lightly...a sign of thanks and a gesture that I think both were in need of !)

That part about them applying the ointment to each other...an attempt to start the healing process was superb !!! For him to view the after effects of atrocities she went through must have amplified his guilt...but at the same time he's making sure she doesn't spiral into that vortex of shame and guilt again...fabulous !! For her to return the favour..and being unable to bear the sight of his pain !! man...they are breaking my heart...This was such a wonderfully done sequence...the joint healing..without any other agenda in place...just trying to erase all the hurt...👏

There has not been a better timed hug than this one...as they hold onto each other and him trying to pass on tendrils of strength, comfort and calm...giving her a piece of his soul that she can latch onto ! ❤️

ABSOLUTELY loved the last part when he decides to stay back...and that she asks him to do so...what else says it better that she's absolved him of everything he believes she should hold him answerable for !! She does this time and again..whether it is trusting he's not a traitor...or making sure he knows he's not responsible for her condition...the way she conveys that through words and actions is amazing !! Just like that, her trust is able to lift mountains worth of burden off him...giving him more peace and calm than anything else could have. I loved that he recognized he needed her as much as she needed him...and that was all that mattered. Him literally doing a let the world go to hell and let potatoes potate...because if the one person who had the right to think wrong of his actions was okay with it, he didn't really care...that her in his arms was the only thing that was right...!! and thus began the journey to wellness...really like you've said their unprofessed love has started this process of mending their souls...can only wait for how this evolves !!! haiii...can there be better soulmates than these two ?? i think not !!

Shruuu...if the entire Swara Sanskaar part was amazing, I want to tip my hat to you for including all the other details as well. Sanskaar's men's reaction (honestly, in my head at the beginning I was like omgaad...pls let his men not judge him and her,...but the PKJ conversation fixed it all )...Pawan's unwavering support (have I mentioned how much I heart their relationship...spirit brother...what an apt description)...the fact that the men had managed to make all these arrangements for Swara's arrival...they were all lovely nuances...Yayyy for Sushena not dying !!! He's alive...critical...but alive...and hurray for that !!
DP the raana I guess does have some brains...causing PKJ to think on his feet...but super glad that they hoodwinked the hoodwinker :)

I can't get enough of this chapter...the valiant prince...the valiant princess...victims of a horrendous man's actions...two broken souls seeking out warmth and comfort...and finding it within themselves..in each other's arms !! mwaaahhh for this chapter...and will wait eagerly for 20...

P&J^infinity for you !!!

Priyuuu 🤗

Nahin ji- aap sabh kamaal ho 😃. Thank you so much for these comments- mmmwah!!! I am glad your in love with my SwaSan- me too, me too!!! Obsessive kind of (but not in a bad way) love!

Exactly right about Swara- that feeling of violation and even self loathing is almost automatic after such abuse and it could have gone that she either transferred that as projected hate and blame on Sanskaar or clung to him for support and I wanted it to be the latter- it's not like the man himself hasn't been through enough . He wouldn't have survived it as you so correctly point out.

I am so overwhelmed at everyone's reaction to the line about the Gita- I felt it so Sanskaar to say that as that is how he sees her- pure and almost holy, untrained by anything forever to him.

Yes indeed, Sanskaar literally burns in his own hell. The water was to show how he was so cautious about her bath- testing the water himself but for him, he wanted to be cleansed too and the pain that brought, he almost welcomed it 😭

Yes, with Swara she wants him and needs him and knows that the only real succour she needs is him but at the same time that abused part of her makes her feel shame even at this. But of course Sanskaar himself needed her to need him- that was what finally got through to him, just as his breakdown got through to her. It was that joint snapping, the melting down of defences and allowing grief in so that healing can take place, in stages sure, but still. You are the second person to comment on that scene with resting the head towards the others palm and kissing the fingers. It was meant to convey what you so rightly saw there 😊

I am so so pleased and warmed to read your beautiful take of the next few scenes- from the gentle application of the medicine, which went beyond the mere healing to the body with ointment- it was almost as if they were touching the torn parts of their psyches to acknowledge the rents there and then sealing them shut with their tears and love. 😳 The rest to me seemed to flow. Sanskaar wanted, needed vindication- his guilt was crushing- she could say it all she liked but she had to show him and she did. What more proof than when an abused woman says she wants you with her, swallows opiate you offer and falls asleep in your arms, knowing you won't take advantage and will keep her safe 😳. I wanted to show the Sanksaar who literally would send the world to Hell for her. She was the only one who could have kept him from her but she needed him so much, he could never refuse her of course. Let potatoes potato was a super classic 😆😆

Thank you so much for liking the other details too 😃. You will have seen from 20 how I intended to build on them and I wanted this bunch of rough men who actually understand more and have more honour than a lot of so-called nobles. For not judging- they know how honourable Sanskaar is and they know that he would not be indulging in a cheap and tawdry affair. Even with Kavita he wanted to legitimise their relation, something most would not do in his place. I really felt Sanskaar needed a friend and in fact Swara does too- cue Pawan 😉.

Lots of love and P & J infinity to you too and in anticipation of your take on 20 too- mmmwah!! Love ya hon xoxo

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The.Lannister

@The.Lannister

Stunner

+ 7

Posted: 9 years ago

#277

Some horsie love😳😆

Veer

--- I don't know who the artist is. If you do, PLEASE let me know so I can edit. Credit is due.:

Varun:

Click visit site and Check out Hot I love my Horses Shirts. This website is top-notch. Tip: You can search "your first name" or "your favorite shirts" at search bar on the top. #Abyssinian #Cat:

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#278

Originally posted by: Nynaeve
Res chapter 19

UnRes

OASIS

"In a desert land he found {Swara}, in a barren and howling waste, he shielded {Swara} and cared for {her}, he guarded {her} as the apple of his eye."
(a biblical quote which I have modified to suit SwaSan, I am sure God would not mind)

Sanskaar's indignation that Swara could think herself to be unclean was astounding - especially when he exploded that 'the Gita cannot be unclean because a sinner touches it', and that he would never have her call herself unclean. It was painful, that despite Sanskaar's frantic reassurances, all she could think of was a bath, hoping that the physical act of cleaning herself might erase some of those scars of humiliation.

Sanskaar did understand, though did not agree with her, she could never be unclean, rather he felt dirty for having failed her (not his fault but being the man he is, he would feel responsible). The mirroring of their actions was sublime - she having a bath to cleanse off the physical cuts and perceived blemishes on her psyche and he pouring water on himself, in an attempt to abate the raging fires of guilt and remorse within himself.

The most profound moment was when Sanskaar breaks down because he feels, nay is convinced, that Swara's tribulations are on account of his actions - what he did and what he did not do. And his silent tears reached where his words could not. She finally breaks and reaches out to console him.

When Sanskaar realises that she is crying, he is torn; slightly relieved that her grief had been unlocked, and yet is thrust into further despair as he is now convinced that she could no longer bear his presence. Instead he is stunned when Swara stops him from leaving and asks him to apply the salve instead (she is still to sort out all her emotions, though considering the trauma she witnessed and personally underwent - terror would be paramount)

The act of applying the balm and bandaging was quite cathartic for both of them - and they actually had a whole conversation without saying a single word - she feeling humiliation, which he immediately assures with a shake of his head that she should not, both feeling the burden of needless guilt, her imploring him to allow her to salve his wounds - till she finally breaks down in his arms. And even when she voiced her pleas for his presence, he did understand the unspoken words.

When he gathers her in his arms, it was a mutual acknowledgment of their need for each other - a physical haven for them, the warmth of their unspoken love was the refuge for their hearts and the rightness of that ''surrender' was a sanctuary for their souls - they had found their Oasis in the storms of their lives. It was the start of their healing and a step into the journey from being a victim to a victor. [and the display of my fascination with titles - I do love all the ones you have picked 😳]

Pawan and Sanskaar - they do manage to convey much more than their worded conversation does - an understated reflection of their friendship: Pawan could glean the fact that Sanskaar was in love with Swara; his suggestion that Sanskaar take with him the slightly opiated concoction for Swara and finally his firm assurances that no gossip that could malign Swara would spread from his men.

And Sushena is alive - barely (though whether he lives or not is more dependent on you, the author! 😈)

DP - well he certainly has his share of kingly attributes - trust him to attempt to turn an unfavourable event to his advantage.😊

love,
Nyna

Nyna 🤗

Attempt 2 at this late reply- was doing really well from MIL's laptop earlier when it crashed and ate my reply! Am sure God won't mind you using and sharing that vert apt quote- seems 19 was a chapter to bring out the divine text references 😃

Swara's reaction was what I believe is typical of an abuse victim's- no matter how misplaced, but very real to the person who has been violated so cruelly . Sanskaar's I hoped was not typical and showed what is so special about her DK and their relation- how he almost venerates her and thinks her the most purest of all souls and people he has been fortunate enough to know. And exactly- he felt dirtied himself, so much so that after checking the temperature of her water to ensure it was just right, he went and punished himself with ice on his already battered body , welcoming the pain.

I wanted to show Sanksaar breaking down as the catalyst which would in turn be perhaps the only thing that could snap Swara out of her PTSD enough for them to make headway and for him too, to allow him that exoneration that he so needs and actually deserves. That whole sequence of Swara stopping him was to show that she let him in again, they can both not blame each other or be without each other- they may not say it and don't need to but they know that only in each other is there any solace. I am so in awe of how you have described the rest of that chapter- 👏👏⭐️, don't think I can outdo that so a humble thanks will have to suffice- have re-read your words multiple times 😳. Oh and special hugs for the title reference 😳

I feel both SwaSan need a friend other than themselves as with each other there is of course so much more than just uncomplicated friendship. Pawan for now can help ease some of Sanskaar's torment too and in that way allow him to allow himself to be close to Swara, as that is what those two need. Otherwise Sanskaar's over developed sense of honour could now inhibit them and that I do not want 😈. Re Sushena- you will have read 20 so won't say too much but I hope what I did made its own sense and was justified in the world of real I have to try and show too. Haha-yes indeed, DP is a good King but glad his plan didn't work!

Lots of love as ever Nyna xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#279

Originally posted by: Forum.Maniac
Unres...
I really did not expect an update this week and was disappointed considering I am on a short break before I get into preparations for my finals and wanted to leave a long over due comment...So, u can imagine my reaction when I saw the PM for it! 😆

Oh God, Shru! 😭 How do you do it?!
I had to take two minutes get over my speechlessness after reading that!

It was so beautiful. While the first part was sad, the second one was so hopeful. I felt emotionally drained reading the first one because your words just do a great job of making us feel the extent of Swara's trauma and Sanskaar's guilt 👏 You potrayal of their vulnerable state was bang on ❤️

Coming to Pawan and Sanskaar...Oh, how I love the bond that they share. You know that I was really wary about Pawan in the start, but I'm really glad with the way you have characterized him. Good to see someone who is so loyal to Sanskaar amidst all the betrayal ❤️ Loved the silent understanding he has of the situation between Swara and Sanskaar!

And even Sanskaar's soldiers are so thoughtful. They did their best to make Swara's tent feminine and comfortable and arranged a bath for her 😆 After the amount of disgusting men in the last few chapters, this was needed

Coming to my most favorite part of the chapter, Swara and Sanskaar tending to each other. How intense was that! ❤️
The breakdown that Sanskaar had leading to Swara's realization that he didn't think of her as unclean (😡) was written beautifully. I loved that line about the Gita ❤️
And when Swara asked Sanskaar to stay back and he did uncaringly even thgh he was reluctant at first due to his guilt and abt the soldiers...another beautiful moment
Needless to say, I was totally fangirling when they slept together wrapped in each other's arms 😳❤️😆

God, I'm in love with this chapter, Shru. Its perfect how they have their reasons for staying apart but they know they need each other to heal more than anything and finally give in to that! Take a bow 👏

Waiting to know what the next chapter has in store for us! Updat soon, Shru! Lots of love 🤗

Sanaa 🤗

How have you been? Been missing you- hope studies go well? Made me so very happy to read your take and your kind words had be blushing again 😳 Thank you so much!!!

Awww- am glad you found this chapter so moving and felt all the connect I wanted to bring out. Yes, it was a sad start- how could it be otherwise after what they went through but I did want to end on a note of hope, as where there is such love, there must be hope no?

I love bromances (if not overdone) so am pleased to see people enjoy Sanskaar-Pawan- they're my Jay-Veeru/ Legolas-Gimli and any others that we like 😃 I cannot say whether Pawan stays the way he is but there are such good layers to Pawan- I want people to enjoy these times with him- they are genuinely helping SwaSan no?

We are on the same page about the soldiers- I too felt some "good" men needed to be shown and here they are- Sanskaar's personal Vanar Sena led by Pawan:)

I am so thrilled you loved the healing scene I could visualise so clearly for SwaSan but wondered if it would come across exactly as I wanted it to. There is always room for improvement in one's writing but I did pour my heart out there so am glad everyone has trodden softly on it 😆. Seriously though- am so overcome with the reaction to that scene 😳 Fan girling is good!! Me too, me too- was fan girling myself at Sanskaar's strong arms holding his Princess against him all night

Thank you honey- 😳😳😳 You like it and I am super happy! I hope you will have enjoyed 20!! Will wait to hear!!

Lots of love and luck,

Shru xoxo

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piccola1

@piccola1

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#280

This was so heartwrenchingly beautiful, Shru, that it made me weep. 👍🏼

You are an Outstanding writer⭐️, you evoke emotions from the very depths of the soul..I am truly awed by your superb penmanship. 👏 A biggg Thank You for this true treat !🤗

Chapter 18 had already shaken much of my equilibrium..the emotions were really raw after the havoc wreaked by that scum😡 on our golden couple..And your 19 was a godsend, with Pawan being just the friend and brother😃 we could want for our very vulnerable Prince.

But even moreso, because Swara and Sanskaar were able to pull each other out of the pit of self loathing and guilt 👏to a state of mutual healing and togetherness. What I simply loved was how you potrayed their healing together ❤️..the unspoken love that made them look beyond their own needs and emotions and to reassure and comfort one another as a priority. As always is the case with your works, I could literally "see" it all unfold, with great relief 😛(and tears😭), the pulling back from the very edge of the crevice...and into the warmth and caring of each others' arms. ❤️

That you topped it 🤗with them going to sleep in each others' embrace😳 was a heartfelt moment of thanksgiving, for nothing can give them more succor than to be with one another, holding one another and simply being there for one another. If this love is not meant to be, as our darling, torn Prince seems to think, then he really needs to be shown it is otherwise...because love like this is meant to be, forever. (BTW they do seem to be making a habit of sleeping together, most innocently, don't they?😉)

The superbly etched start of Ch 20 reinforces the strength of the love and deep faith this lovely couple share 😃- the caring and nurturing that the Prince brings to drive out the fears of his terrified, nightmare-ridden lady is heartwarning. As is Swara's unconscious worry for Sanskaar and her unfailing, touching faith in his rescuing her from all dangers. Not surprisingly, when awake, both of them get transported back to remembering the enchantment😳 of their Haveli togetherness...I guess it will remain in their hearts forever, as a sweet haven of solitary companionship that brought them to understand, appreciate, admire and truly respect each other❤️.

You made it beautifully poignant, with Swara snuggling into Sanskaar's indent in their bed for soaking in the comfort of his warmth,😳 and Sanskaar carrying with him, his determination to end this togetherness, for what he believes is Swara's good. 😆So, while (unconsciously still), Swara is seeking to lengthen their togetherness, Sanskaar now is planning how to end it all...! 😕And he does get down to getting it in motion as well..

That next interlude between Pawan (have I ever told you I sooo like this guy😃..Thanks for creating him ! - he is the best pal Sanskaar could have..perceptive, understanding, loyal and true -), our Prince and his Princess is delicious 👏!

A lady who takes "Lord" Pawan's revered General to task !😉 And a Pawan who cunningly😉 gets the Princess to get his stubborn boss and pal in line, by informing her of his highness's missing his meal and missing his medication😆. Their banter over Veer and Varun (it had to be Varun!!😆) is adorable😛..a great bond building up here between Sanskaar's best pal and his closest confidant👏. I have great hopes that together, these 2 will in the future, prevent our Prince from acting to his own detriment..

Which brought me to the bit that made me break down😭...that entire sequence of Sushena and Swara is outstanding, Shru..You really ARE an author par excellence. 👏 Here is a Swara, who is truly worthy of becoming a Queen⭐️..and IS one here, to Sushena and to Sanskaar's men - a caring, giving, strong and brave woman who, through her ministrations and reassurances to a dying, unhappy man, gives him courage, a sense of honor, dignity and accomplishment, a joy of having served his soldier's purpose to the fullest and a tremendous boost of self respect - all that he needed to die in peace ! 😔The whole interlude made me cry - on the beauty of being humane in the midst of despair and death..

Kudos and many Thanks again, for giving us this worthy Swara and this wonderful scene.🤗 Your Swara enchanted and won the respect of not just Sushena, Sanskaar and his men- but us readers too.👏 Believe me Shru, you have created a Swara that truly stands out as a one of a kind, remarkable woman. Is it any wonder that Sanskaar is increasingly falling more and more in love with her?😳 And that like all of us readers of this enthralling tale, Sanskaar's rough, valiant and unsentimental men are falling in love with this delicious duo too? 😃😆

Dont want this to ever end. As long as you can spin out this enchating tale, I could go along with our golden couple on their journey, for ever and ever...

🤗, Pic.

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