DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- DELETED- AN- PAGE 1- PLS READ

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

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+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#151

Originally posted by: Sakkiyah
Awesome update my friend. I really loved it.you unfold the secret of sanskar. And the cosmic connection between swasan was also awesome. Thank you so much for giving this beautiful update.
Waiting for your next update

Hi Sakkiyah 🤗

So glad you liked it and thanks for your kind words. Yes, part of Sanskaar's secret is told, more from him as to how it happened from his side will come. Glad the cosmic connect works:) Love xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#152

Originally posted by: simsen23
Shruti..
Chapter 2 is very interesting
ya its quite similar to original plot still very different
i simply love the way you have compared each sister's talent in music.. 😊
the way sanskar is hiding his feelings..
Ah i had expected ragini's reaction...on laksh's behaviour
Plz update soon
love
simi 😊

Hey Simi 🤗

Pleased you found Chapter 2 of interest. Yes, I like to stick to some similarity with what we know but then recreate it in my way 😃. So happy you liked the music being linked to their personalities! And yes Sanskaar is truly in hiding but in the open. Ragini- ah yes, she has to get to that point doesn't she?! I'll update soon!

Lots of love

S x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#153

Originally posted by: LoveSonu2408
Read both parts 2gethr.
I love it.hw u put all those thngs,emotns amaizing.
I hate history bt as a fictnal story i like it.
Eagerly waiting 2 knw more abt sanskar & swara & thr stry.

Hey Sonu! Thanks so much for your comments and for enjoying this chapter! Aha- you are not a history buff and still like this? I feel really happy at that! I'll get to the next chapter as quick as I can xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#154

Originally posted by: Javeria3991
awesome update
the contrast between the two sisters and their impacts on the two princes were very well written.

Thanks so much Javeria! Lots of love and wishes x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#155

Thank you all so much for the comments being posted and the wonderful feedback! I am running around doing chores but will individually reply to you all, just wanted to say I am reading and appreciating each one! Lots of love and happy Saturday!

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#156

Originally posted by: Nynaeve
Part 2 - res
UnRes:

And the pattern emerges!!! - slowly but so enthralling, that once you finish reading - there is a moment of stillness as you wait for the words to sink and the meanings to form.

Aristotle remarked "The aim of ART is to REPRESENT, not the outward appearance of things but their INWARD SIGNIFICANCE." and you have done it so flawlessly. 👏👏👏

So where do I begin - well, as a wise man said - at the beginning!

The title "Sliding Doors - somehow that itself sounds so ...hmmm 'full of secrets with a hint of some slipping out' and you did not disappoint! Hopefully, the next chapter would reveal a little more of that 'vile woman and her cursed daughter" (I can guess the reference but am craving to know how you weave it in).

The switch between the sisters with respect to the instruments (you could have simply let Ragini continue with the sitar and substituted the veena for the guitar for Swara) seems to continue the thread which you started in the first chapter (the sisters being closer to their step moms - one switch and the brothers closer to the aunts rather than their own mothers).

The effect of Swara's playing the sitar on Sanskaar - another beautiful repeat motif of the cosmic connection between the two as well as a subtle hint of the tremendous impact she would have on his life!

And this leaves me hungering for more - when do we get the next chapter?😊

Nyna

Nyna dear

Big time 🤗 for this! You made my weekend better! Thank you so much. Your words are making me 😳😳 in pleasure. The Aristotle quote is one I cherish!

Sliding Doors is also a film (British I believe) with the likes of Gyweneth Paltrow. Effectively a reference to parallel universes, here as you identified it is about people having their own agendas and living in their own moment in time with the possibility of worlds colliding or passing each other by and you are the first reader so far to remark on it, thank you! Ah so you have pretty much guessed the woman and her daughter? Yes, I will try and show more on that hopefully in the next chapter but if not, surely in the one after.

Again, your observation on the instruments pleased me greatly! The sitar is the ancestor to the guitar and so I wanted Swara playing that and Ragini the older Veena which the sitar had replaced in popularity- different layers of the same theme there:).

So glad you like the bit of the music from Swara calling to Sanskaar and hurting him in the way that shows their connect again. Exactly- a foretelling of the impact she will have!

I will start on the next chapter soon, hopefully late my time today or tomorrow at the latest and try and post before Monday if I can:)

Lots of love to you xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#157

Originally posted by: Niyatiswaragini
Shruti I👏👏👏 have to say a lot about this, usually people get speechless by reading such awesome stuffs, but this is beyond that. It😃 is something that is making me to write a total note on appreciation of this (if not a story😆)

Beginning from the prolouge. The lines u begin with really gave sweetest message of past was in some era a present😳. I really admired ur writing skills. Sanskar has been made captive 😕, n it was said that he hv murdered someone., the way u portrayed his character made the flashes in front of my eyes. Really really effective work. Bagri is shown as cruel, mmm , Annapurna freed sanskar by some orders. I remember from some historic drama's these orders played an important role, or else the whole law is for name sake. (Few I forget that it's not my corner to discuss history, )
Rani sahiba(Annapurna) wow, she has voice in this work, we died to hear her in show. Wat sanskar is mad, or if I m not mistaken like show he is just pretending to be mad.

Coming to chapter 1, GADODIA n MAHESHWARI link sounds pretty happening.👏 The preety girl u explained is ragin I for all the way I thought she was swara. Sharmishta is shown being more caring towards ragini, swara being more ladki or her janki maa. The whole story of Rajputana n Bengal presidency, falling of shekar for shomi n etc. Was really binding. Swara's usual impression on all. Sanskar first sight me felt something.
Wat ragini n laksh's alliance decided thank god, I thought annpaurna n sujata going to chosse ragini for sanskar.
Sanskar wanted to ruin laksh's alliance, wat could the reason of this all, but he feels no urge to stop this one he should not also. Ragini appears to develop a sort of evil intentions within her.

Coming to chapter 2, sanskar and ragini friendship "dulhan dost" wow it seems to be so cute. Laksh is trying to be friendly with ragini . music performance by swaragini was something expected but swara and sitar this is something different. (We can't imagine guitar in 18 centuary)
Ohhh god I wish laksh not develop any sort of feelings for swara, but whatever it might be it is going to be extreamly amusing I m Sure.
Sanskar's past some pages opened rest to come.

Do update asap. Appreciation remained a small word for this. Hope I coveed every part of it . waiting eagerly

Love
Niyati

🤗

Wow Niyati! Firstly big 🤗 for your lovely detailed comments and kindness of words about the writing! So thankful!

I am glad you liked the Prologue and am happy you felt I did my job as a writer in communicating what needed to come across about the Dark Knight at the very start. Yes! I saw those orders with royal seals that showed they were official documents? A "hukkumnama" effectively. I so wanted such an Annapurna in the show but had to write her instead- I see her as a regal Queen.

Chapter 1- yes, about bringing the two families in real contact. Oh I like that you felt a twist in the reveal of the girls! Ah no, there is no Sanskaar and Ragini romantic angles, only a different relationship I'll try and explore later. Basically the women wouldn't want Swara for her dubious lineage and her forwardness too when they see her. I will unfold the reason for Sanskaar hating Laksh in coming chapters:)

Glad you like Dulhan Dost- twist on the duppatewaali dost I liked so much in the show but didn't want to copy. Re the music - ah yes. The Sitar is actually the instrument which inspired the later Guitar and the sitar itself replaced the Veena in popularity in the centuries in my footnotes:). Hence Swara playing the Sitar seemed appropriate for that time. Haha- wait and watch for what happens with Prince Lakshya:). More on Sanskaar too to come!

I'll update as soon as possible and in the meantime thanks again for this and please do keep reading and commenting. Much love xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#158

Originally posted by: sneharay
Superb update.. 👏

Thanks a lot Sneha:) x

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lucky.m

@lucky.m

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#159

I am at loss of words shruthi .👏..👏read all the parts and It was like I was transformed into the other world and the way you are drawing parallels with SR but still so unique ..All I can say is Jahapana tussi grt ho ⭐️

Wonder You might have been doing lot of research to get into those small small details of history..and your efforts are so evident..and its absolutely brilliant

Waiting for the next part

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Sakura24

@Sakura24

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#160

My dear, dear Shru,

I missed commenting on chapter one, but lets not dwell on old demons and move on, as I know you wouldn't like me wasting a paragraph on apologies.

So in mere span of two chapters a charming historical fiction is waved. Where castles raise on grounds of imagination and kings, queens, princes and princesses walk with pride, grace and occasional interludes of plotting and sinister intentions. Your writing as I keep telling you is so powerful that the reader could almost catch a gleam from their crowns or hear the rustle of their heavy clothing...such is the solid surrounding you create here. I just found myself on some sandy, golden and sunny landscape gazing at the grand Mahesh Mahel, watching the story inside unfold.

So I was right when I said a man as steely as Sanskar..oops, his highness the prince Sanskar, can't be insane. He isn't and is pulling a stunt which has captured almost everyone within his range in to believing him a harmless mad man. Then he has plans of spoiling Lakshya...oops again, prince Lakshya's marriage? Is it for reasons same as the show or something more vile? However his approach seems similar, Ragini.

Coming to the lady herself, it is not a hard job to picture an ancient Ragini, a princes, shy and meek so that everyone would praise and love her, yet with her own selfish and self centered motives behind the serene mask. She envies her sister it seems even before she noted how her future husband seems much interested in her than his future wife. I loved to imagine her playing the Rudra Veena, knowing she was the best and with a grace that came with the confidence, she might have been irked with Swara's performance.

Queen Annapurna, the lady won my heart as the perfect queen on your prologue now seems to be tangled in some orthodox notions. She prefers Princess Ragini for her lady like qualities while she feels a reasonable disdain towards Swara partly because of the unnatural almost immoral circumstances of her parents marriage and partly because of the lady in question is such a free bird, she seemed to threaten Annapurna's control over her walls. Interesting.

Prince Lakshya, his brother reads him like an open book doesn't he? He was so not interested in the meek doll Ragini but rather taken by the dazzling firework Swara. Now this guy is going to create problems for himself as well as others. I wonder will he eventually rip off the angelic mask the demon Ragini is wearing and force her to reveal her monstrous nature with Sanskar's aid?

So, a part truth of what happened to Sanskar reveals. That plot on the map, having four parts and needing all four to make sense was so thrilling.

I can't believe Sanskar would be a traitor, he is trapped or either had some other motive when he did what they claim he did. But at the moment I would not guess on that. It is too great to be aimed at, I will wait till you reveal it.

All in all, this is becoming my favorite in a fast pace. Do continue soon!

Loads of love,

Sakura