Swasan SS - Amour Orageuse - Chapter 10 page 41 - Page 10

"I dont want anyone at the baadi to know about last night Sanskaar, let them be blissfully unaware about what happened. I don't want anymore trauma and pain in anyone's life than they already have, they are already burdened with their problems and woes, I dont want to add to their problems with my woes. It will break their hearts to know what kind of a person was Laksh. Their trust would break into pieces of glass and I don't want it. I want an end to all this drama, all of us have had enough of it in our lives. " she concluded with sincerity.

"Swara don't you think you're being unfair to them? I think you shouldn't keep everyone at the baadi unaware about this because it would pain them even more when they would come to know about this from elsewhere. They would feel betrayed because you didn't share something so big with them, they wouldn't feel one of your own. They have equal rights to know about your sorrows and pain and comfort you just like you have on them. And more importantly how long would we be able to keep the news of Laksh's arrest under cover someday this news will be public and that time answers would have to be given Swara. " he solemnly concluded.

She thought about what Sanskaar said, yet again she nodded her head in disagreement, "Sanskaar it's not that I don't want to share my sorrows and tell them about it, but telling all this would cause them heartache Sanskaar. Maa Baba would be broken after knowing this, rather everyone would be broken and I dont want it for them; they have just settled down in their lives, they've found their happiness after too long and then this news would again break their hearts and make them sad. And there is one more reason why I don't want Maa or Baba to know about Laksh's deeds.

Closing her eyes she sighed lost in thoughts again; not wanting her family hurt was a reason Sanskaar could buy but he didn't know what else could keep Swara from sharing this with her loved one's, confused he asked," What apart from the happiness of your family keeps you from telling this to them Swara?" Opening her eyes she said, "Pity Sanskaar, they'll have pity for me after I tell them about my molestation." "But Swara that is natural, that is something anyone would feel and here we're talking about your family these people are related to you by blood so it's just obvious they would feel bad for you." Frustrated she said, "That's exactly what I don't want Sanskaar, I see pity for me in everyone's eyes barring you. In your eyes I see compassion to share my sorrows with me, you want to share my pain and not take pity on me. I'm not saying that the family members are wrong in worrying for me and feeling bad for me but pity will make me weak Sanskaar it will never let me forget last night's event and I want to move past it. "

Cooling herself down she said, " I'll consciously avoid going to the home for somedays and stay clear off anyone from the Baadi and as for the news going public about Laksh's arrest, Sanskaar we cannot let it happen. Bade Papa, Dad and all the elders of our family have given years and years to earn this reputation and standing in our society; we can't just let it taste the dust of the ground because of what Laksh has done, why should the entire family pay for the sins of one person, this wouldn't be fair to them right? " she concluded.

Sanskaar looked at Swara in wonderment; only she was capable of such selflessness and such strength to move on, he admired her strength and maturity; she could have asked for Laksh's exposure in the society and to blow up the cover of his well maintained image in front of the society yet after everything she was put through all she wanted was to uphold the family reputation. All she wanted to do was forget what happened and move ahead in life. His chest swelled with pride at the fact that he had such a gem of a person for his soulmate and he wouldn't give her up for anything in this world. Then a thought occurred to him she was selfless, yes, but these very virtues of selflessness and lack of self preservation were the reason behind every pain Swara had to undergo till date; it worried him too much.

"Swara, you are not expected to think about other people all the time or rather you should not think about other people all the time. No one reciprocates that care for you Shona; everyone looks out for their interest but for you. One needs to have some sense of self preservation atleast for their own survival if nothing more. "

Sitting himself besides her on the bed he continued speaking their hands yet intertwined, " Swara being so selfless, so giving, being so much of an idealist in life hasnt done anything but bring pain and hardships into your life time and again. Think about yourself sometimes too it isn't wrong if you think about your betterment; what you want from life, your dreams, your passion, your ambition, just do what makes you happy. Listen to me Swara , you're very very precious and dear to me and words always fall short when i wish to convey how really important you are to me. I need you like oxygen in my lungs to be able to breathe and survive Swara, that is the kind of importance you hold for me. I cannot tolerate the sight of anyone hurting you it burns me on the inside. Murderous rage is all i feel when i see someone trying to harm you. You're very giving and compassionate about anyone's pains, and people like Ragini (pausing for a moment he continued a little uncomfortably) and well me have taken advantage of this in the past. "

She stopped him from uttering anything further by placing her palms on his mouth, "Don't you dare say such things Sanskaar. Kuch bhi bolte ho." she looked lost for a moment but recovered yet again. Smiling lightly at his worried confession she spoke," Sanskaar you know why I can be so selfless and giving? Why I can live an idealist all my life and why I dont harbour feelings of self preservation for myself?" Shaking his head in denial he waited for her to continue; she smiled a little wider at him and continued, "That's because I have you in my life Sanskaar. You're there to worry for me and think about what's best for me. You're there to protect my idealism, keeping my idealogies and thoughts intact and alive, being the realist you are, you face situations and tackle my problems along with me, blending my idealogies with your practicality. And, I dont need to worry about my well being and protection till i have you around me Sanskaar. You take better care of me then i myself am capable of. You proved this fact not a minute ago by telling me to think about myself and my life. I trust you with my life. No one cares as much as you do Sanskaar. And that suffices for me. " she finished looking down slightly rosy in the cheeks after her little confession.

Sanskaar felt giddy with happiness and contentment at Swara's soothing confession. She had given him too much happiness today. Her selfless submission to him slayed him. She won him over even more with her simplicity and innocence. Engulfing her in his arms he pulled her close to himself, holding his world in his arms until a knock at the door interrupted their blissful moment.

On opening the door he saw Shambhu, their domestic help who had come to summon them for lunch. Turning back Sanskaar asked Swara if she wanted to go down or have their lunch up in the room itself. Her answer irked him a bit as she refused to have anything at all. "I dont feel hungry Sanskaar. " she said in a very not interested tone.

He told Shambhu to get their plates up in the room and turned towards Swara eyeing her disapprovingly, "I had asked you where you wanted to eat not whether you wanted to eat or no." Seeing her open her mouth in refusal he continued in a final tone, "You're eating Swara and I'm not buying any silly reasons of your's; you're weak yet Shona and you need to eat in order to recuperate fast. " knowing he wouldn't let her win, she silently gave in knowing he wouldn't rest until she ate.

As the food arrived Sanskaar placed their plates on a trolly and indicated her to eat with his eyes, when she made no move to eat he commanded sternly "Swara eat, the food on this plate is meant to be eaten not stared at. " yet she remained unmoving, sighing he gave up on talking her into eating. Breaking a morsel of chappati he dunked it in the curry and brought it close to her mouth, "I've broken a bite for you ab toh kha lo. " reluctantly Swara opened her mouth and swallowed her food, and Sanskaar found relief.

He was breaking another morsel when she stopped him by placing her hand on his, making a light shudder run across their bodies at her innocent gesture. She broke a morsel of chappati and then surprisingly brought it to his mouth, "Only you don't possess the copyright of feeding. I'm allowed to make you eat too. " she said softly. Grinning, he ate the morsel off her finger and felt an electric current course through him when his lips made contact her fingers.

She was affected too, he could say as a light pink blush settled over her cheek which she tried to conceal making Sanskaar grin in amusement at her. Swara felt self conscious under his bashful grin and to divert his attention she said, "Umm Sanskaar have your food. And you mind umm if i switch on the tv? " he silently chuckled at her embarrassment and nodded his head, indicating her to go ahead he said, "Sure, go ahead Shona no worries.

Lounging back on the chair he took sadistic pleasure seeing her fumble around for the remote and finally turned towards the TV yet smiling to himself. They both turned their attention towards the random Hollywood flick Swara had tuned into and ate their lunch in companionable silence.

Phew, here I am at the end of the fifth chapter. Since the previous chapter was heavy duty and with less Swasan thought of compensating it with a chapter dedicated to Swasan. 😳😃Hope you guys like this. As always drop in your likes and comments on this chapter would always love to know your feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome.

Thank you.

Love,

Kashmi 🤗