AsYa SS: Winner Takes All ; Ch 7, Pg 66, 23/04/14

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Posted: 11 years ago
#1
Hello Friends,

I am here with a new work of mine. It is a short story called "Winner Takes All". As the title suggests, there is a game in the play and the winner will obviously take it all.

Thank you so much for the support you have given to my previous works including Destiny and NYC Christmas. If you have missed and are interested in my prior work, my index is in my siggie.

About: This is a story with just 5 characters: Asad, Zoya, Rashid, Gaffur and Ayaan. I will be updating weekly, sooner if I have finished writing this story and made good progress on Destiny. Bold words are conversations. Bold in brackets are English translations of Urdu for my non hindi/urdu speaking readers. Italics are thoughts which need emphasis. Also, the updates will be around 1000 words as opposed to my usual 1500 words.

Comments: I love getting response from you and your thoughts on the story. Yet, it is not mandated for you to comment. But please do not forget to click like.😃

PMs: I will be sending PMs to everyone on my buddy list. So if you are interested but not receivingthe PMs, send me a buddy request.

Banners: I have never used banners, but I love them when other writers are using. So if any of you is creative enough and wants to make me a banner or two, I will really be obliged. Let me know. Edit: I have a banner...credit goes to Mina.😃

Note: Don't ask me who I imagine as Asad. My characters are usually faceless and take the form you want them to. So you can imagine Hrithik Roshan and I will not have a problem with that.😉

Index:
Chapter 1 - below
Chapter 2 - Page 12
Chapter 3 - Page 25
Chapter 4 - Page 36
Chapter 5 - Page 47
Chapter 6 - Page 55
Chapter 7 - Page 66

---xxx--- Winner takes all ---xxx---

-August 1st,2013 -

"Arrey Asad beta, when did you come?" Rashid looked up from his drink, when the door to his study had opened. He lived alone in this grand house of his, and was surprised that the servants opened the door without knocking. Seeing his son, he understood why.

"Salaam Abbu. I just landed. And it's not like you did not know I was coming today. After all, it was you who summoned me here." Asad's relationship with his father had never been easy. While Ammi lived, he tolerated the man, but with Ammi gone, their relationship had all but ended.

He could never come to terms with the fact that despite being an only child, his father chose to raise him in hostels and universities abroad. Even Ammi's pleas had fallen on deaf ears. He could never forgive the man for giving him an isolated life, away from his beloved Ammi. The man who was the sole reason for Ammi's tears and heartache. The man who used him for his selfish goals and motives. The man who was so depraved in life that he sold his very soul to the devil in order to live in the lap of luxury. Asad eyed his father who was at this moment toying with a glass of expensive Scotch in the holy month of Ramazan.

"Blame it on my age son. It completely escaped my mind that you were arriving today. Did you eat?" Rashid asked, happy to see his son after almost a year. His son was his pride and joy, the reason for his survival. The reason he did everything in life. Unfortunately, they did not see eye to eye on this matter. He took another swig from his glass as he waited for Asad to respond.

"Ramzan ka paak mahina chal raha Abbu jo shayad aap bhool gaye hai. Par mujme meri Ammi ki parvarish hai. Namaz kar ke Iftari loonga. Aap bataiye aap ne mujhe yahan kyon bulaya? [It's the month of Ramazan, which you may have forgotten. I still have the values of my mother. I will eat after Namaz. You tell me why you called me here?]" His words sounded like hundreds of miniature knives that tore through Rashid's heart.

"Eid aa rahi hai. Aur mein chah raha tha ki inn khushi ke roz mein apne ek laute bete ke saath bitau. Ismein harz hi kya hai?[It's time for Eid. I just wanted to spend it with my only child. What is so wrong about it?]And you are my son, so you better respect me when you talk instead of judging me. Is this the kind of stuff you learnt at those prestigious schools that I spent lakhs of rupees at? Just get out of here, now." He retaliated at the retreating back of his son.

XXX

Asad stood in the balcony of his room as he stared out into the darkness of the night and contemplated life. Their house was located in a very elite, quiet neighborhood of the town, the street only housed mansions on either side of the road. The house stood on a large piece of land, surrounded by a large lawn, a thicket of woods at the back that opened up to the lake. The lake view was available only from the terrace, but it was the most peaceful sight in the world.

The closest house, the Siddique mansion, was shroud in darkness. Asad was surprised to see it such. It was not that late in the night either, plus it was the month of Ramazan. He wondered aloud to the reason for such gloom at the mansion which belonged to one of the oldest and most likely richest families on the street. They always celebrated festivals with great pomp and style, and hence the lack of any light so close to Eid was an anomaly.

Just like his house, that house also housed only two members, Mr. Gaffur Siddique and his over the top extroverted daughter Ms. Zoya Siddique. A girl who was as proud of her ancestry as her father but had a certain air of innocence to go with it. He fondly thought back to the day he had first made her acquaintance.

---Flashback #1---

-May 1998-

"Hey, who are you? And what are you doing at my spot and on my father's land." He heard a girl's voice call out from behind. He had been wandering in the thicket behind their new home when he had chanced upon the lake. Walking along the lake, he found this isolated, old and broken pier. He had nothing better to do and so he had sat down there, throwing stones into the water and watching them bounce across the water before drowning into the depths of the lake

"Excuse me?" Asad asked, turning around to find a girl not more than 7-8 years of age, her hands on her waist and her eyes scrunched up in mock anger.

"Oh! It's you? The wannabe's son." She exclaimed and then flashed a smile when she saw his face and recognition settled in. Her hands immediately went to her mouth as she realized what she had said.

"Excuse me?" Asad asked again, anger lacing his voice this time.

"Meine aapko apne khandaan ke saath paros ke ghar mein aate dekha tha. Abbu ne kaha the ye naye log nakal khor hain. Naye naye rais hain aur bahot kuch. Meri samajh mein zyada nahi aaya. But itna samajh gayi ki Abbu nahi chahte ki hum aapse talukat rakhein. Agar Khala ne unhe bata diya to Abbu abhot naraaz honge.[I saw you and your family move in the other day. My Abbu said that the new family was a wannabe, not sure what he meant, but then he mentioned new money and all that. I don't think I should be talking to you either, Abbu would not like it if Khala were to tell him.]" She kept talking, ignoring his question.

"Then leave. No one is stopping you." he spat out the words. He was not happy to hear his father addressed as such. For the 10 year old Asad his father was a hero. It was only due to his hard work that they have moved from a 1 bedroom apartment in a low income neighborhood to this grand mansion. His pride was hurt on hearing her words.

---Flashback #1 to be continued. ---

XXX

Thanks for reading and your support.
Rivs
Edited by QueenOfMyCastle - 11 years ago

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metoyou thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
OMG, first spot! This is breaking news, call the newspapers!

Okay chalo, shuru karte hain. One warning: I am gonna be very strict 😛

Chapter 1
While Ammi lived, he tolerated the man, but with Ammi gone, their relationship had all but ended

He could never forgive the man for giving him an isolated life, away from his beloved Ammi. The man who was the sole reason for Ammi's tears and heartache (This sounds very familiar...)

His pride was hurt on hearing her words



A short comment this time. You know the reason for that (I already had read the dialogues)
But those three lines kinda stood out for me. So Asad's relationship with his Abbu is not the best and unfortunately his Ammi is not there anymore. Lekin phir bhi, Asad cannot hear a bad thing about his Abbu. Perhaps he does love him, but can't show that love for to and for the man he is today.
I wonder what Rashid has done in the past that his own son hates him/does not like him. Ek baat toh saaf hain; the Siddiqui's and the Khan's are not best friends...

Another thing Rivi: In the flashback Zoya is only 7-8 years matlab both are now teenagers? She 12-13 years and he a few years older? Because, the current date is in 2013 and the flashback was in 2008...



See you on the other side Rivi.


Keep it up! 👍🏼
Edited by metoyou - 11 years ago
jazsidhu thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
hey tis is very lovely..
very interesting..
superb...
thx fr the pm n do continue soon n do pm me...
rajnid68 thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
Son at loggerheads with father...
Missing his ammi...
Father sold his soul for riches...
1st encounter with zoya...left
Asad with a bad taste..
What about the other flashbacks. ????
Looking forward to the next update...
Thanks for the pm..

Ps:your Note was impressive. : )

-Anitha- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Great start di 👍🏼👍🏼
looking forward to know the past
Plz update ur destiny coming calling also..
manognasai thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Interesting start...AsYa are neighbours!Love to see their encounters...Asad doesnt like his father!Waiting for Ayan's intro😃
Edited by manognasai - 11 years ago
love.asad.zoya thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
It was awesome ... 👏 love it ... Plss continue soon 😃
OceanicHeart. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
Res
Unres
Wow di this is intresting !
I love the stories which are not going along with QH.It is always refreshing and good to read these stories 😃
So Father and son do not like each other
I loved their argument.
As for Asad and Zoya
It feels like "Meri saamane wali khidki Mein ..." 😆
I am sure u know the rest !
Quite excited to read the next update
Continue soon
Loved it :)
Edited by MisZoobieDoobie - 11 years ago
nilusoni thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#9
superb start
thanx for pm
do pm me for next part
continue soon
GitaIyer thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#10
Res
unres

Is this SS an outcome of the RAK-AAK milan?
Nice interesting and suspenseful start.😛

Glad that at least in your SS, Asad has retained undercurrent of anger and discontent for his abbu.😉
The backstory of Rashid-Asad seems to be interesting. Really eager to know how Aayaan fits into the scheme of story.

Am confused about Asad's anger towards Rashid. Is it due to:
He could never forgive the man for giving him an isolated life, away from his beloved Ammi.
or
The man who was so depraved in life that he sold his very soul to the devil in order to live in the lap of luxury.
Maybe the next part will throw more light.


He retaliated at the retreating back of his son.

Liking this Rashid, who can give a takkar to his son.


"Oh! It's you? The wannabe's son."

Why do I get a feeling this story is more about Rashid than Asya.


"Then leave. No one is stopping you."

Reminded me of KSG.😉


-August 1st,2013 - AND -May 1998- AND a girl not more than 7-8 years of age

Wish the CVs had your sense of age and numbers.






Edited by GitaIyer - 11 years ago

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