FORBIDDEN LOVE # 3, part 22 pg 37(1/2/13) - Page 5

Sweat ran down his back in rivulets as the axe pounded on the hard wood splintering it to pieces. His arm ached with exertion and his hands burned from its hold on the axe. But he welcomed the pain.. hoping the physical exertion will distract him from the echo of her pain that was brought alive by the song. ... but the image of her tear stained face was etched in his mind as was the melancholic strain of her voice. Feeling the walls of the room closing in on him, suffocating him ,he had run like a coward.

As darkness descended it suited his brooding uncertainty. Beyond the flickering fire that he had lit shadows danced in mysterious images taunting him with his inability to hold on to his past memories that seemed too precious to be lost. Memories that found reflection in the nostalgia of her voice.. with the nostalgia of dreams they had dreamt and the happiness they had shared but was now lost to him...the pain that had found outlet in her voice and the tears that had slid down her cheeks screamed of a supressed agony... They seemed to accuse him of his insensitivity without a word uttered to his face.

The song... the lyrics taunted him for what he was a brute so selfish and arrogant that he could not see beyond himself.. beyond his problems. He did not remember her and refused to accept their marriage. But what was unreal to him was the truth to her. He was so into himself that he didn't even spare a thought to what she might be going thru'. He had ignored her, treated her harshly and blamed her many a times... she had suffered without complaint. He was so shocked by the changes that had supposedly happened to him that he rejected them outright, without even keeping an open mind to see anything beyond his refusal.

Aur kyaa ahad-e-wafaa hote hain
Log milate hai, judaa hote hain

He couldn't understand the restlessness or the incompleteness he had felt... but then who wouldn't feel so with a part of his life obliterated.

He knew he hurt her when he refused to accept their marriage... but what was true for her was so unreal to him. If he was harsh in his rejection it was because he could not see a future of a relation or a person he had no knowledge about. But neither could he understand why she affected him so... she made him react in a way no one else ever had. He tried his best to pull away to be in control. But she was one of the most strong-willed woman he had ever come across... she dominated his mind with thoughts of her to the point of turning out to be his obsession...a feeling so strange yet familiar as if he was losing himself... being turned into someone else.

Going with her on dates as per her wishes, he could feel it... he was being changed. He had agreed to go with her wishes because he wanted to find out what was it about her that had drawn him to her... once he found the reason, he could find a way to get past it. But the whole idea backfired... It was like whatever he did it turned out to be against him and instead of finding a way to avoid her he became more obsessed. It was as if he was being trained back to be the one she loved...

Then the night at the lake happened, while he was trying his best to resist and suddenly he was back in familiar territory. Sexual chemistry was something he understood... yet what they had shared was something he had never experienced before. It explained the desperation he felt to be with her, his desire for her which was bordered on obsession. Having experienced this completeness before it was natural that his body and mind craved for the same. Passion was a strong motivation but it was something that could be satiated too. It filled him with the hope that once lust ran it's curse, he could relax and have his life back to how it was... Stop being so obsessed about her...stop having her dominate his thoughts always. To him that night gave a solution and he didn't thing she would have any problems with intimacy again...why should she when she was the one who took the initiative. But she had objections and he couldn't understand why ... Until now...

Kab bichhad jaaye, humasafar hee to hain
Kab badal jaaye, yek najar hee to hain
Jana-o-dil jis pe, fidaa hote hain

He remembered a conversation not long back,regarding the ring...

"Do you consider me your wife, Maan?"

"No. I don't remember u. I won't accept you as my wife."

"Then it doesn't belong to me anymore."

She had said that regarding the ring which she refused to wear unless in the company of Dadi. She made a point of removing it whenever they retired to their room for night...

He remembered her words...

"I wanted you because I love you and you want me because I am...we are...good in bed... you want just a body with no emotions involved.. no commitments involved..."

"What does our relation entail to you Maan? What am I to you? An unpaid wh**e?"

He flinched ...yes it was all in the way one looked at things...

Kab badal jaaye, yek najar hee to hain

Her grief... the catch in her voice... He could hear it still... he bowed his head, his hands gripping his hair... why was he such a fool... no not a fool ... an insensitive brute, that was what he was... She had suffered the pain and humiliation in silence and he... He went after her like a philanderer with a one track mind.. not even considering how his words might have come out to her.. even at her rejection of his seduction.. he thought only about himself... his desire... His rejection... it was there right in front of his eyes.. he was so blind... but then it was the impact Geet had on him... logic seemed to go out of the window where she was concerned.

Kab bichhad jaaye, humasafar hee to hain
Kab badal jaaye, yek najar hee to hain
Jana-o-dil jis pe, fidaa hote hain

The lyrics taunted him.. he had refused to accept her as his wife...but he wanted them to be intimate... wasn't that how his words interpreted...

"no commitments involved... An unpaid wh**e..."

He had not offered her permanence... it was true that though he was not sure about the permanence of their relation, he had not considered the relation as just a few days, weeks or months old. He had stopped thinking about a time period for their relation... in fact he could not pin point the last time he had thought of his life without her...

He rubbed his hand over his face and was puzzled to feel the wetness on his cheek... Strange, he was not aware that he was crying...there was no reason for him to cry.. unless... he shook his head at the absurdity of the thought..

The sound of the phone ringing diverted him... he checked. It was Dadi again. He had cut her earlier call after a brief communication, saying that he was alright but needed some time alone. Geet had called too... but he had not picked them up... he did not trust himself to speak with her just then... not until he calmed down... He signed, he was not someone who skirted responsibilities..he always owned up his faults.. he knew what he had to do...

He connected the call," Haan Dadi..."

He decided to take the side entrance door of the party hall, not wishing to draw attention to himself. The party hall was decorated perfectly to the theme of fusion, blending the colours and flavours of India with the sophistication of the West...a perfect blend imitated by the couple who stood side by side, chatting to business associates... she was wearing a White Saree. He could see her eyes darting to the entrance every now and then...waiting for him..

He started to move towards them but was waylaid by a business associate Mr. Agarwal. Chatting with him, he wondered how long it would be necessary for him to stay in the party before he could act on his wish.. to claim his wife. There now it seems he was enjoying the possessiveness that went with the term... since the past hour when he decided to do the right and accept her as his wife, he forgot the number of times he had called her that in his thoughts... he couldn't wait to take her home and tell her so...

"If you don't mind me saying so, you are so lucky to have such a beautiful and talented wife, Mr. Khurana."

"Thank you." He said with pride. His eyes were drawn back to her. She seemed tired, he thought as he noticed the slip in her smile while others were chatting amongst them. Playing the perfect hostess despite that, his pride swelled as he watched her poise, that instant attention back to the group when someone addressed her. The guilt entered again, she was there not just because the project and the party was organised by her, she was also representing KC because he went absconding.

"Excuse me.." he started to break away from Mr. Agarwal to join Geet . Just then the lights fell on the dancing area announcing the beginning of dance.

Geet's eyes were drawn to the circling lights, with a wistful expression, as if she was remembering ..he saw Mahindra inclining his head towards the dance floor as if inviting her to dance. She seemed to resist...

Maan started to make excuse again but was joined by another business associate. Another glance at Geet saw her accepting Mahi's out stretched hand. He sighed knowing he would have to wait ...this was not the place to have their talk in peace. Moreover she had worked so hard for this project and it's launch party, she deserved to rap the success of her hard work. He will stand in the side line for now and admire enjoy her enjoying herself. He walked with the associates towards the drinks area.

As he reached he positioned himself in such a way that he could watch her ... and noticed the short exchange of signal between Mahindra and the band.

A single stroke from the drummer caught the attention..."I hope these moments stay forever. If a dance is the only way I can hold her close, I wish this song never ends..." The drummer struck down the stick on the batter head once again during the pause. "The band dedicates the first song to unrequited love ... that secret love that pulls the heart strings, yet many a times goes unsaid. Lucky are those who can confess their love, whose feelings are reciprocated... So cherish those moments of togetherness, be grateful about what you have..."

chupana bhi nahin aata
jatana bhi nahin aata
humen tumse mohabbat hai
batana bhi nahi aata

She stumbled first not used to dancing with anyone other than her husband. Mahi caught her fast.

"Sorry!" she said, "This doesn't seem like a good idea."

"Shh... trust me...just follow me." He gently pulled her closer to his frame, " give rest to your worries for now... feel the music and let yourself go." His voice soothed.

hatheli par tumhara naam
likhte hai mitate hai )-2

"You know this is one of my favourite songs... do you know I love the lyrics.." he droned on distracting her until she relaxed and the sense of rhythm set in..

tumhi se pyaar karte hai
tumhi se phir kyon chupate hai
juban pe baat hain lekin sunana hi nahin aata
humen tumse ...

Dancing gracefully now, she was filled with memories of another dance ...

She was upset and could not get her steps right with the choreographer but Maan had supported her, helped her thru the dance.. showing her they could match their steps perfectly as perfect as they were for each other.

She imagined herself transported back in time...

mohabbat kaise karte hai
koi to humko samjhaye )-2
kahin aisa na ho ki
pyaar bin umra kat jaaye

It felt so good to dance with him... to feel the protective strength of his arms and the confidence that came with the knowledge that even if she missed a step he would guide her ... he would hold her safe and bring her back to him if she faults or staggered..

tum se milne ka koi bahan bhi nahi aata
humen tumse mohabbat hai ...

When the song ended she felt disoriented. She raised her face in a smile, expecting to see that beloved face smiling down at her. It was so bewildering to see Mahi instead..

" Mahi?" she took a step back pushing at him, tripping. Mahi's hands grabbed her from falling.

"Geet, are you all right?"

"Yes of course... I was dancing with you.." she pressed her hand to her temple. "Sorry.. I feel..." she looked around becoming aware of the curious eyes.

"Excuse me..." she made a hasty retreat...

I know nothing excuses the delay of my FFs but i just cudn't feel maaneet... I hope you will understand my desperation when I tell you the first part of this update was written long back, about the time i gave my last update in SR... even being half complete, I just cudn't proceed further😭😭😭

hai ! I think this is the first time , am commenting in your ff though read most of your stories... hopefully ! really love your writing ! was waiting for update for a long time. went back twice to read it again again ! memory loss concept is so beautiful and alluring ! the pain the longing and desire ! in your hands , it is turning even more beautiful. pl... pl... do update quickly... donot say maneet are not inviting you ... we are all waiting here, still stuck with them lovingly... for our sake for such a beautiful story's sake do write ... waiting eagerly...