Anant:
Dear Diary,
Yesss….I know its been long since I filled one of these pages….but wat to do…..life had thrown me on a roller coaster ride n things were going from topsy turvy to googly goo!!! Ahhh….but oh well….now when finally all the hushes n bushes seemed to have calmed down n I was all set to sing glories of halleluiah, I felt yet another bump in my gut as I entered Navya's house today.
Nothing seemed sunshines n rainbows there and the faces of all that are now very dear n near to me were doomed in glooms of grey. The always so high n happening house was filled with roars of sunken silence n tides of treacherous tension. I didn't feel the warmth I usually feel neither did the voices spell the awaiting welcome I tend to get …..infact ….my doubts were doubled when I glimpsed at Renu di, who was trying so hard to hide herself in that space of air at the breakfast table, briefly n swiftly wiped a flowing tear from the side of her eye. Something was definitely going on….but wat ?? ….And b4 I cud place my finger on it….Navya brushed me out from there in the name of punctuality at college.
I tried my second shot at figuring out the burden that was so evident on Navya's entire outlook. But with each of her happy bubble of reply I cud feel the vacumm of utter grief n sadness. Her voice carried loads of stress n her laughter was sounding like skipped beats of a dreaded song. By now, it was clear Navya was weighing heavy with accumulated thots…..maybe something related to that tear in Renu Di's eyes n as much as she tried to distraught herself from me…..the more she left me skeptical n worried.
I really don't know wat it is that is bothering Navya…..and if for now she doesn't feel the vibe to confide in me…..then I will lend her my moral support in the hopes that she comes around soon. I know she knows that I will always be there for her!!!
Anant signing off
01/11/2011
Navya:
Just as I thot things were back to base n I cud hymn the rhythmic beats of melody with Anant….Life throws yet another blow at my family and again I see the pain….the stress in my family's eyes. Oh God….why cant we for once live in peace without this abrupt waves of hurdles???
Renu's situation is deeply saddening me to the core. While its so shocking to finally come to a realization the amount of workflow Renu di had to put thru in her marriage…..its equally awakening to know the brave front that Renu Di has in her. My salutes to her for being the woman of substance….of stance n of dignity!!
Things are just so fresh….so new …so raw rite now that I am not able to assemble any bit of it and I suppose its rite for Renu Di to ask me to not mention any of these current happenings to Anant.
But then I know Anant as well…….if he figures out something is weighing on me….he will not sit still till I spill the beans to him n I don't know for how long I will be able to manage to put a fake fore ahead of him but I suppose I will have to till things settle in a wee bit more. Besides….this is an issue that does not even involve him or relate to him and so I truly don't think he shud have to carry any of this load. He has already done so much for me and my family recently to help with our financial stance. I cant continue to use n abuse him in every problem me and my family face. Why burden n stress him when he has other more stuff like exams…..his future…..his career….our marriage….my responsibility after marriage n his family's expectations to worry about….
No ….I guess I will keep this away from him for now till I find the real need to tell him…
I just hope he will understand me n my plight for I have no intention to deceive him……but rather have intentions to deviate him constructively…..Afterall….I love him n care for him!!
Navya signing off,
01/11/2011
Deepu:
Sometimes I think….its really not so easy to be parents….infact its actually a very huge responsibility n from the day a new part of u is brought into this world, the responsibility just begins to climb a steep hill.
Navya's recent scenario with her early marriage plans had set me off track n into a world where I was left with no time ….no space to think or even spare a thot on my other family members n I find it such a disgrace on my part of being a father not being able to give my equal attention to all my kids.
Today I somewhere blame myself for Renu's situation ….my overly strict upbringing with her……my certain fear regarding the societal norms….my disability to see thru her pain…her hardship….her grief….and most of all…..my absolute ignorance to her as my daughter to ensure that she is living a happy n healthy married life is wat has landed Renu in her miseries……
But now that I have realized my mistakes….and the real facts….I will stand no inch back in ensuring to land my full n complete faith n support to Renu and to provide her with the justice n a life she rightfully deserves. I mean no harm to any of my other kids nor can that be my intention ever, but at this point, I cannot tally or analyze stances of all my kids….nor can I gamble with any of their lives and I will do wat is right…..wat the time n situation is demanding from me….
I just pray to God to give me strength n knowledge to pull thru these tough times!!!
Deepu signing off
01/11/2011
Meeta:
It's a complete nightmare if I sit and think about all that me and my family have been facing in the recent times. Situations doesn't seem to keep in control and I have not been able to observe harmony for a time I cant seem to recall now as well. Wat all is happening is all I am left with and with each of these blows of life….situations…..relations only seem to entangle further into a never ending loop….
Its not that I don't trust Renu…..but I guess I cant trust her instincts. She is my child…..just like Navya and Harsh n I am equally attached to her and also worried for her. Divorce is not just a simple word….nor is it just a simple solution to a problem…..atleast….the society does not make it simple. And its not that I fear the society…..but I rather fear the impacts of the society on my kids n their emotional n mental health. Afterall…..we live in this society n as much as we may want to run from it…..we cannot do that. And all I want is the happiness of all my kids….
My initial hesitation in taking further steps into Renu's marriage was only coz I wanted to ensure that decisions that were being made was not made in the flow of emotions or the tide of times but rather made with complete judgement of right vs wrong. I had to ensure that there will be no regretful tomorrow due a decisive today.
I am still not sure if the step Renu is taking is for the good or for the worse……but rite now….she needs me with her as her mom….my husband needs his life partner as a support and I shall be just that!!
Meeta signing off
01/11/2011
Rab Raakha,
Shilpa🤗
Previous Diary Entry Posts
Anant's 1st Diary Entry
AnYa Hum Tum Diary Entries
Navya's Diary Entry 2
Anant: Kaisi Majbooriyan
Navya's Entry: Emotional Zoo
AnYa Hum Tum Diaries: Kehdo Tum Ho Meri
Diary Entries: Navya, Meeta and Anant
Diary Entries: Ya Rabba
Navya Diary Entries: Tera Chehra
Anant Diary Entry: The Cruelity of Time
Anant's Diary: "Its Not Over Yet"
Other Non Diary Navya Posts
Nayi Soch...Nayi Dhadkan
Fears of Emotions
Letters Of Maple Leaves
Woh Hamesha Meri Zimedaari Rahegi
The Difference Between Reality n TV
Hum Kadam Tere Sang
Anant to Navya: I Breathe In You
The Quiet Calms Before The Next Storms
Letters of Liquid Pearls
A Smile In Distress
And The Truth Endures Yet Again
Come Let's Build Bridges
A Weapon Called Motherhood
Dhundhle Raaste...Saaf Manzilein
Renu's Letter: Ameen
AnYa: "Ek Nayi Duniya Basaye"
