GoHam Diaries - October 3rd 2010

October 3^rd 2010 ' Personal Journal of Aham Parag Modi

After everything that has happened I cannot believe that Gopi is back being her gavar self. Why does she do all these things to deliberately hurt [me] mom *me is crossed out replaced with mom* . I don't understand why this laraki, who put herself at high risk when the chor broke into the house, would then turn around and show that she doesn't care by breaking her fast like that? Mom was upset and I can't stand that. I told her that I was coming home but what does she do? She takes matters into her own hands and doesn't show any regard to ANYone in the family'why couldn't she wait another 15 minutes? Why did the girl, who looked so happy in the morning when I handed her the sari, break her fast without me? Every time I set aside my instincts about her, for the sake of mom, she turns around and proves that I was right about her; that she is in fact an unpar gavar, for whom I feel NOTHING! Who can never be part of my life! Who can never stand beside me! Someone I can never accept!

Then why can I not stop looking at her or thinking about her? Why do I want to tear her ghuhat off her face to have just one look at her? Why does her face have to so intoxicatingly beautiful, when I can't stand the sight of her! Why do I want to shake and yell WHY GOPI WHY!!! *crosses out the last paragraph angrily*

October 3^rd 2010 ' Recorded Diary of Gopi Aham Modi

The teej festival made me realize that I was wrong to pin my hopes on Ahamji. My intent was to fast for his long life and health but all I did was make him angry. I didn't want to hurt him or maaji. But everything I did turned out wrong. Maybe it was because I weave my dreams out of some things that happened by accident. Just because Ahamji handed me the sari didn't mean that he wanted to celebrate teej with me or that our relationship was now real. When he wanted to put the ointment on my bruises didn't meant that all of a sudden he wanted to be with me..Gopi. The girl, he has said so many times, can never be his equal'someone he was forced to marry and is now stuck with and will never accept as his own.

Just because he is my everything'just because my day begins and ends with him doesn't mean he feels the same way. Just because he was the answer to all my dreams doesn't mean I was his!

Gopi you have to stop making up dreams and hopes out of nothing and stop asking for things that are not yours! When will I learn that some things can never be'that I can't ask for the moon and expect to get him because the moon is something you admire and love from a distance..he can never be yours.

How do I teach my heart to stop wishing, hoping, dreaming, wanting, longing..ask it to not have faith, desire, belief, love'

*takes a deep sad sigh*

loved it shelly....esp that Para crossing line......
gave some positive vibes to me to clear my confusion....

Sounds like our Aham doesn't want to accept responsibility! Hmmmmm...

Awwww... Gopi's entry is heart-wrenching .... am sure she would have broken down writing this ...

Originally posted by: rusha4003

Awwww... Gopi's entry is heart-wrenching .... am sure she would have broken down writing this ...

Aham's entries ... just superb !!! 👏 .....

He's trying his best to re-inforce his belief that he hates her ... of course he's drawn to her .... remember that fan epi ... he was concerned ....

Why do I want to shake and yell WHY GOPI WHY!!!

this part is awesome ... he's like blaming Gopi for being coming inot his life... for being unpad-gavaar and ....... at the same time for being soooooo beautiful that he just cant ignore her .... just cant be indifferent towards her ....

afterall feeling / reacting so strongly to someone ... whether loving or hating ..... just means they mean something to you !!!!

@bold......Superbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb Usha,,,,u just said it all whats going in Aham's mind....
he hates he but cant ignore her..
he does not want to see her but cant resist looking at her when she is around.
he is angry with her but cant see her in pain
he shouts at her but cant stop helping her when her life is in trouble.

so conclusion is she means SOMETHING to him..

Thanks! you three. I am starting to think we really get the whole GoHam dynamic..better than Aham and Gopi themselves. His arrogance and her insecurity...They are so overwhelmed by their feelings that they are lost.

For some reason Aham's rejection of Gopi really gets to me...And Gopi's poor orphan girl naivete moves me. There are so many TV couples that are more romantic, sexy and so much better actors. But there is something about poor lost boy Aham who only knows how to work and has no personal life. And poor little motherless Gopi who only wants love....their story really touches us and hooks us along to watch every day!!!

Really hoping GoHam are back front and centre again...or is that a fantasy?

Originally posted by: lovtv

Really hoping GoHam are back front and centre again...or is that a fantasy?

Originally posted by: saomom

Apparently it's a fantasy... 😆 Not going to bother watching today's episode...

Good decision Saomom ! You wont regret it ! 😆

Originally posted by: lovtv

Thanks! you three. I am starting to think we really get the whole GoHam dynamic..better than Aham and Gopi themselves. His arrogance and her insecurity...They are so overwhelmed by their feelings that they are lost.

For some reason Aham's rejection of Gopi really gets to me...And Gopi's poor orphan girl naivete moves me. There are so many TV couples that are more romantic, sexy and so much better actors. But there is something about poor lost boy Aham who only knows how to work and has no personal life. And poor little motherless Gopi who only wants love....their story really touches us and hooks us along to watch every day!!!

Love & agree with the part in blue ...... I know .. there are so many better couples on TV ... but Goham are a couple that touches our hearts ...

Though I can predict .... maybe from the pre-cap .. maybe be instinctively ... that the epi is gonna be all crap ... I still watch it with the forlorn hope that something positive in the Goham relationship will be shown .....

Wake up CVs ....... what are you up to ???

@ red .... That is soooo tru ...... we feel the pulse of GoHam much better than the actors or even the Cvs themselves ..... 😆