Originally posted by: sharadrocks
This is dedicated to @Apsvenky for so bravely holding fort single-handedly yesterday amidst such adversity …khos ne mei koi kasar nahi chodti but she truly loves Armaan ..bura waqt mei saath nahi chodti ..I think there are a couple more of us like her ..@AnashqU used to be one but she has switched to the AA camp ..@ohGod is definitely one …and I too am of course …I too rant and rave at Armaan when he is written wrong …but still ..we don’t believe in breaking relationships ..so there will be a thread that it will keep hanging by always …so for all those self-acknowledged and closet Armaan lovers, this one’s for you too …we will go down fighting maybe but we shall not give up on our man 🤷🏻♀️
Circa 1990s
The six year old boy stood near the door, trying his best to go unnoticed. There was so much warmth, laughter and joy in the room, the scent and feel of a family celebration...his eyes were fixed on one person though..the frail young woman who was lying on the bed...she looked tired and her face was pale...yet there was a glow on her face that was almost indescribable...someone said it was called the aura of motherhood.....he did not know quite what it meant but it was surely something very good...because it made the young woman so much more beautiful than he had ever seen her be....like a fairy almost....the fairy that he was petrified he was going to lose...because didn't mothers likely die when they gave birth...at least his mother had...that's what Dadi Sa had said to him when his father.had brought him to their home....she had told him he was a curse for he had brought death to his mother right when he came into the world...and he was going to spell doom to his father's marriage with his existence....but she did not have a choice because a Poddar heir, whether legitimate or not, could not be sent to an orphanage...so he had stayed...people around had slowly warmed up to him slowly but he was never allowed to forget that he was one of them...maybe they weren't consciously doing it even...all except Dadi Sa that is...she despised and feared him at the same time...he was the threat to the perfect family image that she had cultivated ...so she tolerated him but did not fail to actively instil in him the feeling of deep gratitude...for having been given a place under their roof..but amidst them all, she alone stood apart....initially she kept her distance from him...in fact she did not step out of the room for two days after he entered their home....but it changed slowly...when she heard him sobbing himself to sleep one night...all alone and afraid for what he did not even know...she came in, placed her hand on his brow and calmed him down...asked him if he would like her to hold him...she lay down next to him and hugged him close to her and told him that she was his mother thereon and forever.....that was the best sleep he had ever known in his few years of existence....she felt and smelt like home and always did thereafter...until he was told one day not to hug her too tight or wear her out with his antics...he was asked to stay away and behave....because there was a little brother or sister on the way....he was both happy and scared...would she die too when the baby was born like his mother had...would he lose his mother all over again....then, that morning, she was taken to the hospital and there was much celebration after the news came that the raja beta of the house was born...the asli waris...he didn't quite understand what that meant but he was happy to see everyone happy...but he was also scared...no one was talking about his mother.....what had happened to her...was she well? Then everyone decided to go to the hospital and they had no choice but to take him along...since there was no one at home for him to be left with...so he went with them...and that is how he came to be standing outside that room right then, watching from the outside as they all laughed and joked and cooed over the baby..his mother watched them with an indescribable expression on her face..he wanted to go close to her, touch her, ask her if she was well, if nothing would ever happen to her now...but he was too scared and so he stayed...then he noticed her eyes darting around the room as if they seemed to be looking for something...and then, as if he was a magnet, she turned in his direction...she spotted him trying to hide...she instinctively moved and tried to get off the bed...his father held her back...she sat back with a tired expression but held her arms wide and beckoned to him....he was scared but could not stop himself...he ran and buried his face in her bosom and tears trickled down his fat cheeks....his mother wiped them tenderly and kissed him on his head...at that moment, he made up his mind...he would never hurt his mother never ever...she was the fairy that his angel mother had sent to care for him...and he would not forget this ever in his life...the six year old boy made a promise to himself and to his angel mother that day...he would be his Maa's golden boy always!
The day of the wedding
After the drama that preceded it, the wedding felt almost like an anticlimax...Armaan wasn't even sure what he felt...relief was the uppermost emotion...finally Abhira and he were married...there was nothing to keep them apart...they were one...it was all over ...and it was all about to begin all over again...or so he thought...until they reached the threshold of the home where he thought they would be given a ceremonial welcome...but what followed was beyond the worst nightmare that he had ever had...even worse than the ones he had had as a child...because this time there was no monster out to grab him...he was the monster who had chosen himself and his happiness over his mother...he knew his mother...and he knew she wanted his happiness the most....he had suffered the worst pangs back when she said she wanted his happiness with Ruhi,...not for a moment did she wonder if the son from her womb was lost to her because Ruhi and he had kept their brief dalliance a secret from him and the family...his mother knew him so well...without being told, she knew why he had done what he had done...and now that Rohit was gone, she thought she should restore his happiness to him...give him back what she thought was taken away from him in the name of family...what he felt for his mother at that moment was not something he could put into words...he swore yet again then that all the happiness in the world would not be worth seeing her unhappy...having her believe that she was redressing a wrong done to him...
All his vows were in vain..like they always were...his mother was distraught and in trauma...she was cursing them both for doing what she had begged them not to....it wasn't Abhira's fault,..it was his...but what could he possibly say at that moment to a mother who was beside herself with rage and grief and pain...for he knew, beyond the anger and the rage, what she felt was that he had betrayed himself by giving up on a cherished dream...how had he failed to see that he should have waited...explained things better to her and made her understand that he had not given up on a dream...it was just that he had found a happiness that exceeded his dreams...the cherished dream would no longer bring him joy if he could not share it with Abhira...he would rather live in joy with her than hanker after that dream...he should have taken the time to make her understand ....he had erred...he had broken her heart and he deserved every curse that came out of her mouth....Abhira was becoming collateral damage and he knew that...but it was like everything was out of his control...because he was unable to look past the fact that he had become the reason for the pain and hurt of the woman who had shielded him from the world from almost the time he had gotten to know her...he was supposed to be her golden boy....what had he done instead...?
After the final confrontation with Abhira
He entered the dark room and flopped on the bed...everyone had something to say but he really did not want to listen,...surely they could not be saying something worse than what his conscience was telling him...he had erred and erred hugely...in a bid to protect his mother, he had broken the heart, the pride and the reputation of a girl who did not deserve any of that....he could convince himself that he had done it because he wanted to put an end to her hopes of a future...but that did not make what he had done right...he had erred and erred big....he knew his mother would never be able to get past the trauma of her incarceration and she would always see Abhira as the cause...Abhira had done what she thought was right and she had every right to do it...he knew it and had said it...but in the process, she had destroyed Vidya in a way she had probably not imagined...Abhir was left with a damaged body after the accident and now Vidya's incarceration had left her with a damaged mind...no one was the winner here ...they had all lost...but if destroying Abhira's self-worth, destroying their relationship was the price that he had to pay for bringing his mother peace, he would...because he had already chosen himself and his happiness once over her and left her in trauma...he could not do that again...not when he was the one who had the power to make things better for her in a way she wanted...even if it meant destroying himself, his ideals and everything he stood for, it was a price he would pay...like Ekalavya who chopped his thumb off as guru dakshina to Dronacharya, this was the terrible price he would pay...and for having made the mistake of aligning her life with his, it was a price that Abhira would have to pay too...but at least she would be free of him ...free of the baggage that came with him....she would not have to pay the price of being married to a golden boy anymore....for that is what he would remain...Mumma's golden boy for life...!
231