Virat’s state of mind - Page 3

Originally posted by: msin

We are on the same page in this … as I say virat is losing control .. it’s not like he’s not in love with Sai … he’s too much in love with Sai … but his pride is keeping him aloof ..

that’s why I felt …if he had locked himself in the room with her .. it would have been a lot better .. as it is he was not helping in the Puja decorations..

Both of them needed a fight where they touch each other … it’s always shown nicely in English serials ..,

The issue is both of them love each other but are keeping it buried in the haze of ego and mistrust ..

Physical love can express it clearly .. when we find it difficult to express it’s with words ..

@bold I agree

@green I beg to differ. This is not a solution or cannot be a solution for their problems. They have to sort out their issues, have to communicate. He has to learn to control his emotions only then will he be able to control the actions resulting out of it.

He has to open up. Has to learn to express in words clearly. She has to allow him to speak with no preconceived notions and should also listen to him with faith in him. Both of their flaws become a hindrance for them to talk to each other. This happens and it is natural. They first have to keep their mind blank when they try to sort an issue. Too many thoughts in both their heads which is just causing all this chaos.

Nicely done & apt analysis Laksh (Lakshmi ?) - taking a neutral view by neither supporting him nor opposing him while presenting your pov. This forum needs more members like you to maintain balance, kudos

Originally posted by: ltelidevara

All I want to say is there will be two sides for a coin. You dared to see the other side of the coin by spending time ....

At this point of time anything positive to speak about Virat might cause friction in forum that is what I felt ..and stayed away to the best of my ability but an analysis coming from you got me back to commenting here.

Loved many parts of your post.

Keeping away the judgement about his actions,Virat has valid reasons to behave the way he does according to him. Every human will have. He is no exception.

haha in my earlier days on this forum, you were an staunch supporter of Sai & now its pleasing to see, you have balanced view on Virat too. Quite a welcome change - thought of saying this earlier but somehow always forget it (blame my memory 😛), you're one of the selected members pov I'm interested to read, when I'm bored online - who doesn't support or oppose any character in biased fashion

Originally posted by: laksh

Before I begin, I would like to say that this post is only to explain about Virat’s state of mind. It is not to justify his actions or defend him. A friend of mine wanted to get my views on Virat’s behaviour and I had replied with the below to her. This doesn’t mean I support his actions or behaviour. As many of you know I am also quite upset with him. This post is only to explain about human behaviour and their thought process.

Also, none of these also mean that I think that Virat need not have clarified it to Sai. I had also expected that he shared about his past to Sai and also about the cafe meet.

Virat has taken it too far this time. I think all the while he didn’t think take it too seriously or personally when there has been issues between Sai and him, but this time he wanted to act selfish, he wanted to make it about him. I think ever since she refused to appreciate his efforts during the anniversary celebration, he got too hurt and took it personal. From that moment onwards he had given up that after whatever they have, they share and even after whatever he has done, she was questioning his intentions, she was not willing to accept their relationship. I think up until that moment, he has been really patient but he lost it after that.

Some people let go of many things, they continue to stay hopeful that things will change but when it reaches a threshold and nothing changes, when the person always is made to let go and the other person doesn’t take any efforts, they lose it. There is only so much that a person can take. It all depends on person to person too. Some can be patient for years but for some the patience can run out quite quickly too. It all depends on how desperate they are as well.

Virat probably had developed too much of expectations from the anniversary trip and especially after how happy Sai grew after the birthday party. He failed to think what was actually supposed to be done by him (coming clean about his past).

When his expectations or dreams shattered, he couldn’t take it. He is a self absorbed person alright but was also a patient and a forgiving person (who has tried to set things right after fights between them). This time he didn’t want to. He wanted to put his foot down to let her know that he is not going to do anything anymore to mend things between them, she should do it if she wants.

By letting her know that she is no one for him, that she shouldn’t do anything for his family or interfere in his family matters, he was just trying to push some buttons, trying to make her realise that he had let her do all of those, all these while and she never really got a glimpse of how he could have been if he had considered it to be a deal marriage.

For quite sometime he kept trying to push her away for her to understand how much he had let her in, in his life. It was his desperation that was coming out this way. He didn’t want to tell her that he needs her, or ask her that she accepts him this time. He wanted to show her that she will need him, he will distance himself from her so much that she will realise what she has done, realise her mistake of hurting him by not accepting their marriage or refusing to acknowledge all the things they had shared so far. This is not like how a rejected lover would feel but it was that of a person who was hurt that even after whatever they have shared, she continues to call it and consider their marriage as a deal one.

He wanted to show her that he can stay without her, can act indifferent just like her, can show her that he can also be keeping her away from him just like how she does.

A human does all this to make the other person realise their mistake, to make them feel that void, to make them realise what they had been and what they can be too. It is to express their hurt that it is not just you, but even I get hurt and to say that I can also do the same things as you so that you know how hurtful it is.

It all started like this for him to make her feel that when she said there was nothing between them, he will actually show what it means that there is actually nothing between them. It all started as a way to express his hurt.

It slowly turned into anger when he started to lose the battle since Sai never gave up, since she never accepted it. He heard her speak to Samrat, then to Shivani after cafe meet and again to Sunny and Shivani. All the while he kept getting hurt more and more that even after everything, even after his indifference, him going away, she never once reconsidered her feelings, it never made any difference to her or brought a change in her, she never tried to run to him saying she needs him or asking him to not go.

He would have wanted her to talk to him asking him not to leave her but instead she had chosen another way to stop his transfer. Not just she stopped it but she also stopped it not for him but for his family. That hurt him much more than her cancelling the transfer.

Whatever he is fighting with her about the transfer is not because she got it cancelled but because she did it even then only for the family not because she wanted him to stay back.

He is not angry that she had rejected him. One has to look at it like what I have written above than actually looking at it as rejection. You can’t exactly call it as rejection.

It is pure hurt. He so badly wants to be accepted by her.

He badly wants her to think of him as her husband, to feel bad that he is acting indifferent, not stay strong and act indifferent herself when he acts indifferent.

He wants her to feel that she would miss him rather than thinking his family would need him.

He wants her to try to make it up for whatever happened during the anniversary trip and not give him attitude in return.

He wants her attention just like how she gave him when he fell ill or after the cafe meet when she wanted to know what happened.

He will melt if she runs to him to try to close the gap between them.

The more and more she tries to insinuate that he and Pakhi have feelings for each other, the more and more he gets mad since he is getting misunderstood, since she is failing to see his feelings for her and that made him act mean by ganging up with Pakhi and insulting her. Again, I am not justifying but explaining how one has led to another.

And the final straw was when she was giving him cold shoulders by deciding to lie down on the floor and also refusing to attend the Pooja. He wants her to manaofy him if he is angry.

It is like has he always got angry with her after their fight? Why can’t she for once try to bridge the distance between them? Why can’t she for once try to set things right between them or let things go?

That is when I think his ego started to surface. Hurt turned into anger and at the end turned into ego.

Why can’t she do it this time is his biggest problem.

How can she show him attitude, how can she start to maintain distance from him when he was planning to do that to make her realise what she has done.

His plan to act indifferent with her didn’t work and instead she started to act indifferent with him at the end. That’s exactly why he got mad.

She started to pack her bags right? Which means that she was okay to leave the house when he was expecting that she might start to realise about their relationship, about his feelings.

At one end he expected that she will start to realise from his indifferent behaviour as to how he has always been and how he is now which in turn could have make her realise what he feels for her, at the other end she was even willing to pack her bags and leave saying that is what he wants from her.

That lag, that difference or gap that they still had irked him. Her failing to understand what he wanted her to do and instead thinking completely opposite to what he was thinking pushed him to the edge.

That is why he became really really mad and shut his brain and heart made this move to show her that she can’t push him away and that she has to follow what he says. It wasn’t exactly to attend the Pooja if you ask me, it was more to do with the fact that he didn’t like her acting indifferent when he wanted her to run to him apologising to him to have not understood him. Her stubbornness, her not willing to hear, not willing to understand, her indifference, the fear of her leaving the house - all of these actually made him lock the room to show her that she is his wife and he can go to any extent to make her do what he wants. That is just a fake thing that he was trying to show since she was not giving it a thought about him and her at all. Again, I don’t approve of his actions of locking her up. This is my understanding of what is running in his head.

I was failing to put all these in words all the while when I felt these to be the case. If you think about it him locking the room and staying stubborn, saying that she is acting stubborn, not following the rules of the house are all the consequences of her failing to understand his feelings, her failing to understand his need for her.

It was all because she didn’t try to fix things between them even when he continued to stay upset with her but she instead started to choose to go in her own way. He didn’t like that. It has now become a war for him to show her that she can’t act this stubborn. The underlying issue was her acting stubborn to not consider about her feelings and her relationship and not actually the Pooja.

I also have the below doubt but I am not too sure about this.

Her refusing to accept the Pooja is because she doesn’t believe that they are being truthful, it is as if she doesn’t believe that his and Pakhi’s chapter is over, it is as if she feels that this Pooja is baseless/meaningless when these two have feelings for each other. It is that which irked him because it also means that she still fails to understand what he feels for her and that he has no feelings for Pakhi.

He has failed to understand that her problem is because Pakhi is faking it as Sai told Pulkit.

Even if she says that Pakhi is faking it, it also would mean to him that she doesn’t believe him too. It means that she thinks that he is not happy with this but is doing it all for his brother. He doesn’t want her to think that way.

He wants her to understand and accept that he has no feelings for Pakhi at all.

Anyway it is this stubborn nature of her, which he had seen when she failed to give in to what Samrat was telling her or when Shivani spoke to her and again when Sunny and Shivani spoke to her that he is disturbed about. This along with her refusing to attend Pooja, her trying to go on her own way, acting adamant made him mad. It made him want to take control, wanted to show her that she can’t always keep doing what she wants but has to listen to others too, that she can’t always thinks that what she is thinking is right.

His anger towards her made him talk to his family saying that she doesn’t follow anything that the house expects, they have given her choot and all because he is so bugged and irritated at the moment that he had always let her go, let her choose her path, didn’t take any strict action like how people in his house always do, has supported her against his family only because it is her but this time, he wouldn’t have any of it, this time he would show her what he could have been but what he never was. This time he wanted to show her that she can’t act stubborn.

He can’t talk about his hurt, about the actual issue, that she fails to reconsider about their relationship, that she is acting stubborn and not accepting him as her husband and calling it a deal always to his family. He knows what these people will say. They all anyway don’t like her and will ask him to let her go if she thinks that way. Hence he doesn’t want to tell these people about all of that but instead chose house, tradition, rules so that they all agree with him, so that they support this decision of his.

While acting stubborn, he failed to realise when he crossed the line and when his act had become an inhuman one. He is a guy who is too hurt and has given up that he doesn’t even want to realise what he was doing. He is acting as if he is right because Sai is acting too stubborn.

Because he has done so much, he has left so many things but she is not leaving it this time, the first time he started to give her cold shoulders.

It is these that is running in his head and not the room locking and hence he doesn’t even think that he is wrong.

I am not sure if I made sense. I could give words to my views only now. It is just an attempt to understand and explain about human behaviour. I have only tried to explain Virat’s state of mind.

This doesn’t mean that I approve of his way to gang up with Pakhi or act so harsh with Sai or even approve of him locking the door. All of that is too wrong. His behaviour is toxic but is also another human way of reacting I guess.

Yeah, he did go too far without actually realising. That is what zidd does to a person sometimes. Lack of remorse is disturbing but that’s because he feels his actions are justified because she has been acting stubborn all the while and now it is time for her to get a taste of her own medicine kind of a thought. He has failed to realise that he has failed as a human in his stubbornness. What disturbed me was that he wasn’t really concerned even after seeing the torn kurta of Sai. I expected him to get concerned but he has thought it to be her challenging him. This is what happens when a person is judgmental or opinionated. We know that he is one. Other than that, sometimes a person’s nature, their past behaviour makes a person to assume that this is also because of the same thing.

Like even if Virat genuinely feels sorry and cries, some of us will be made to think that is how he always is. Let’s take the example of him crying and apologising to Sai after she returned home from hospital after after the accident. Not many were able to believe that it was a genuine apology. It looked like yet another apology and crying session.

The same way, to Virat it looked as if Sai took it as a challenge and not because she can’t take this behaviour from him. It was both for her but he is not in a position to think that way. I feel that it wasn’t room locking for him, it wasn’t teaching a lesson exactly for him, it was to show her that he can also act stubborn. That could be the only reason for him not to feel guilty at all.

Virat has to learn to control his emotions and also may be go for a therapy or anger management classes. When he gets hurt, he always makes mistakes or blunders or even crosses a line and ends up abusing too and he doesn’t even realise it. His emotions are too high and he lets his emotions overpower him.

Can I request that this post be seen as a way to understand a character and nothing else. It is not to defend or justify Virat’s behaviour. He shouldn’t have behaved the way he has been behaving. There is and can be no justifications for it.

Not really a Virat fan.

But this write up was🤪

Amazing !!!!!👍🏼

Originally posted by: laksh

I agree with everything you have said. I too have similar views on this.

@bokd No it doesn’t. That is why I had mentioned in one of my comments that I want Sai to divorce him. He has a protective instinct for Pakhi which doesn’t look pleasant at all. I am not saying that he loves Pakhi or there is any romantic inclination towards her but he will always protect her I guess.

What I feel or have understood is that he doesn’t have any feelings for Pakhi but Pakhi is similar to him in many ways and he is able to relate to her. Also, if you notice that in the cafe too he was about to walk out getting irritated with her attitude of not giving up on him. He didn’t feel it right and he was fed up that even after all this she keeps bringing up a past which he refuses to accept since he has realised that they never really shared anything but it was just an infatuation for him.

But that day in the cafe I feel that a few things had changed. He couldn’t help but feel sorry after she started to act too desperate. She had said that she would do anything to be with him and he could understand that she was completely lost. Virat could see a girl who had given up everything including her own self respect in her obsession. He could see a girl who was willing to forego everything and he didn’t quite like that. He has seen her to be an independent person and he had a good impression about her, had high regards of her but she was behaving like a lost person and I believe that stirred him up. It had started to make him sympathise her ever since. Be if at his room or pool or in his room too, he has been strict with her all the time, he has been ruthless and drawn lines with her and he never sympathised with her the way he did ever since the cafe meet. I think it had also got to do with the fact that his brother did not go MIA but instead had abandoned her because of their past. So Pakhi didn’t even get a chance to move on like how he had got. She was stuck in this position because of him in a way. He holds himself responsible towards how she is today. I feel that is the reason why he started to feel sorry for her. That is the reason he wants her and Samrat to sort everything between them and begin a new life. That is the reason he doesn’t like Sai too speaking anything against Pakhi. He holds himself responsible for where and how she is today. He doesn’t want to think that Pakhi is a person with a loose character but the situations has or is making her lose her sanity and behave this way. She never really got a chance in her life to set things straight but instead kept pursuing him. I think he feels that she has kind of gone mad and needs help. He is able to see a helpless and hopeless person within her too. Anyone who begs like that in a cafe, how does it look? That shows how helpless they are feeling, how desperate they are. How they have lost all their senses. I think that is why he had started fo deal with Pakhi a little different from then onwards. But even then he always wanted her to stay in her lines and had glared at her without trusting her whenever she went close to him.

@green I agree. Absolutely not, he can’t let people attack her because he is angry or upset with Sai, that behaviour or nature of his is really horrible. That is and will always mean that Sai will be at loss because of this kind of nature of his.

@blue That is the thing. It comes across as him punishing her but he actually isn’t. People do get hurt but the way they express their hurt matters a lot. In his hurt, he has completely lost his sense of judgement, lost his sanity and is behaving in a way one shouldn’t. He has become too impatient and desperate that he doesn’t even understand what he is doing. We all know how he has never had control over his emotions when he gets hurt. Also, I must add that the toxicity that he has seen in his house, has also got passed to him. He has also developed some wrong qualities within him without him being aware of it.

From how it looks, the desperation or the impatience is not because he has waited enough but also out of fear, out insecurity if she would never realise or never feel for him the way he feels for her. He is worried if after all these too if she is not able to feel anything for him, realise his feelings for her, if she would ever be able to feel or realise. It has started to bother him so much that he has let his emotions overpower all his senses.

I can explain his state of mind but that doesn’t mean that it is easy. Sai will be paying a price since he is not able to control his emotions and that is the sad truth.

@red Exactly, she did. She also knew that it was time for her to mellow down, for her to soothe him but she wasn’t prepared for this behaviour from him. She did take it even though she hasn’t seen this side of his. They haven’t stayed in the same house and same room with this kind of behaviour from him. This is the first for her and she did handle it but only until she saw him with Pakhi at the cafe. That just caused more issues between the two. That created another misunderstanding between them. She misunderstood the hand holding to be something else and in the anger and hurt he was, he refused to clarify it to her. This is where the issue is. He had let his ego surface at the wrong time. He could have tried to make her feel better by sharing or revealing the truth but he refused to. He had made up his mind that he will not give her any explanations to her especially when she keeps calling and considering it to be a deal marriage. In a way that is how people would react or think right? Like when she thinks it to be a deal marriage, why should I be clearing it to her. He will be thinking, let her first accept the marriage, ask me questions with the rights of a wife, then I will answer her.

It is a twisted mess. Both want the same but aren’t communicating to each other the way they should.

@purple I agree to this to some extent Neeraja. I look at it a little differently here. Virat has been able to do this not because he has power but because he has no power, he has no control over his emotions especially when it is about Sai. He is feeling helpless. He is desperate. On the other hand Sai has been able to do it because she has been able to stay strong. Even if she wants something else, she has the will to mask it and act as if it doesn’t bother her at all. She has also lost it but she has stopped herself right at time so that he doesn’t come to know that she is affected. More than anything else, they are different individuals. She has control over her emotions and hence her actions too but he doesn’t.

I do agree about his age and role of guardian playing a role. I have always felt that he uses it for his advantage sometimes. It worked in the past but this time she is financially independent and that is why when she was about to leave the house, he had started to behave irrationally. Unlike last time during the PD lunch incident, he knows this time that she will leave the house and never look back. He has seen how in GC she had refused to return. He knows that if he lets her go now, he would lose her forever.

@last red You have written this beautifully.

A friend of mine did tell one point that Samrat could see through Virat and that is the reason he told Virat that he could have explained to Sai in any other way. His approach to this issue is not right. It will help if he changes it. And as you have said, it will also help if Sai allows herself to show her emotions.

Agree with all your points. Very well analysed.👏

@bold He always does that....ALWAYS. 😡 It is very, very problematic. Along with this, his equation with Pakhi is something I cannot digest at all. Both these are making the foundation of the relationship shaky - trust. Such a relationship cannot but suffer.

I'm at a loss to understand his relationship with Pakhi. They both behave the same way with each other - invading in each other's personal space with their partners...what kind of relationship is this? I don't want to raise questions ....but I cannot help it.....its is too too abnormal....he seems to feels a strange kinship towards Pakhi. "Pakhi is similar to him in many ways and he is able to relate to her" - This is what I've felt too. Isn't that emotional cheating ...even if he does not mean to do it?

Which is why I tend to mostly side with Sai in this relationship. I don't know what she could have done? Logically if she had handled her own feelings better, she could have cornered him about his relationship with Pakhi, given him an ultimatum. But sometimes I feel that even if she had, unless Virat learns to draw the line in his realtionship with Pakhi....even verbal assurances may not suffice. Am I biased?

Virat is no less than a zombie 🤣..During pooja he was completely dozed off 😆

Jokes apart Neil truly understands Rono more than anyone..One could get the clear picture about his state of mind from pooja..he was looking aimlessly.. There were no life in those eyes..

I understand he extremely hurt.. His behaviour is the culmination of several incident.. He wasn't angry till Sai blasted him in the hotel..But things got worse he had to hear again and again that Sai never can love him.. On top that his transfer cancellation by Sai.. He wouldn't get angry if only Sai had said that she stopped the transfer because she needed him ..

Earlier it was love between SaiRat.. They were growing emotionally attached to each other... But now it has become both desire and love for Virat..so he has taken it in his ego.. He won't sit quite until he gets Sai.. He wants that physical relief in her... Transfer will NOT make much difference to him or it may backfire..

Virat is the product of extremely mysoginistic environment.. He has seen his mother bowing down to the so called family norms and always has been stoic while expressing ..

Though it's unfathomable to me being a cop how can he NOT see through Pakhi's intentions.. He is so self consumed that he is using all the tools to hurt Sai ..As a viewer to me his behaviour coming across so vengeful NOT love.. His ego hurt badly when Sai rejected his bed even though they sleep between a pillow wall..

At this point they should get separated because even after spending so much times still they have no respect for each other.. Virat should learn accept things wholeheartedly.. He will stop involving third party in his relationship.. He had often failed to prove himself a good husband during every testing time.. On the other hand Sai will learn to stop seeing Aaba in everyone whoever is nice to her..

I agree with nethraa- i do NOT understand his relationship with pp. For how long is he going to feel guilty about her state, hold himself responsible for her happiness, be protective towards her?! Its not like he needs to be protective because she has no other support, she has an army full of it. So why this unecssary bond with pp. I had started to think that post pool/cafe incidents n Sai's accident- he had understood that pp is a psychopath. But hes gone soft on pp again! Does he really believe pp has decided to move on so quickly?! Raaton raat she has moved on from him to Samrat n now shes trying to potray this fake narrative. His equation with Sai aside, does Virat really believe this woman. Because if he does then he really is stupid.

This soft corner, protectiveness, concern for pp no matter how low she goes definitely comes across as dubious.does pp's attention boost his ego so he lets her get away with anything. Or is it that theres still some love there? I dont know what it is- but as long as he cannot get pp to exit his life n his equation with his wife, he cannot fix this situation. And i agree with nethraa that in a sense this harboring a soft corner for his ex lover is emotional infidelity- it would feel like that to any wife in Sais place.

And its his unbelievable soft corner for a woman who has said and done despicable things that makes me no longer empathize with him but firmly support Sai.

She does not. She just leaves one morning but she drops hints. She gets all her bank stuff from virat, she mentions a few times that after certain day, he no longer needs to care about her. And when they realize shes gone virat looks unaffected. Samrat/mohit implore him to bring her back but Virat refuses to search for her saying if shes able to take her responsibility she dan do so. Let her live in the real world n see. Then accident happens. Pulkit finds out about accident. He informs Samrat but not virag because pulkit blames virat for Sais state n Samrat wilk tell virat. Its only seeing Sai in hospital that makes virat melt n behave like a husband again .

Originally posted by: Nja91

She does not. She just leaves one morning but she drops hints. She gets all her bank stuff from virat, she mentions a few times that after certain day, he no longer needs to care about her. And when they realize shes gone virat looks unaffected. Samrat/mohit implore him to bring her back but Virat refuses to search for her saying if shes able to take her responsibility she dan do so. Let her live in the real world n see. Then accident happens. Pulkit finds out about accident. He informs Samrat but not virag because pulkit blames virat for Sais state n Samrat wilk tell virat. Its only seeing Sai in hospital that makes virat melt n behave like a husband again .

And the circle goes on and on... He would continue to show his emotional infidelity with his bhabi.. I truly want at this point They should get divorced and he should marry Pakhi.. He has to learn hard way how its like to live with a superficial woman like Pakhi..

Originally posted by: basherz

haha in my earlier days on this forum, you were an staunch supporter of Sai & now its pleasing to see, you have balanced view on Virat too. Quite a welcome change - thought of saying this earlier but somehow always forget it (blame my memory 😛), you're one of the selected members pov I'm interested to read, when I'm bored online - who doesn't support or oppose any character in biased fashion

Then I slowly succeeded in finding Virat Chavan,the man,the husband,the lover,the offender and the so called abuser more interesting and fascinating..

I won’t generalise my view but I am happy I went through this process.

As for Sai I sided with her all the time and never even bothered when she did not say sorry to her man in Devkit track,college track etc. But anniversary track and Sai’s behaviour shook me off my slumber and complacency. I don’t want to explain how disappointed I was with Sai’s behaviour but I definitely want my Sai doll to realise and say sorry to him with all the honesty and sincerity. Eagerly waiting for the moment now. I am not absolving Virat from his misdoings but I certainly understood his mindset better now.