Rikara SeriesOS: #5 Shadows of Heart..

Mehendi function was on a full swing and the house was bustling with all the festivities. The melancholic laughter of the Oberoi ladies sans Pinky filled the air as the elders and younger ladies reminisced their moments of love. Daadi was sitting amidst Anika, Sowmya and Gauri, professing the craziness of her ishqbaazi grandsons. While Anika and Soumya were laughing heartfelt, Gauri felt an undercurrent pain in being part of all these festivities. Anika-Shivaay and Rudra-Sowmya's twin wedding had been planned as an extravagant affair and the already magnanimous Oberoi mansion was shimmering in glitter and gold. As gauri got her mehendi etched after insisting to get it done without a certain oberoi's initials, her heart pained inside. She didn't want to get this done for heck of it, when their relationship is already in a confusion of sorts. She overcame an skeptical look from Pinky, a painful look from Jhanvi and Daadi and an understanding look from her by-law Sisters, to remain firm on her ground that she didn't want all of this when they both had extremely polar ideologies and are yet to find a middle ground.

Having both of her hands designed with mehendi till her elbow, she walked into her room in search of her mobile. She had been off it since morning, and was searching it near her dressing table. Her thin veiled silver drape off the heavily worked blue choli, restricted her movement much. She turned to search for the mobile near the bed with all the hurriedness, just when her drape which was stuck to the pull head of the drawer, came out completely, off hooking itself from the pins which held it on her blouse. She starred in horror at the drape, which lay on the floor, completely fallen off and her mehendi covered hands. She knelt down and was struggling to collect it without smudging the mehendi, while the door flung open.

Omkaara was taken by surprise, she, by shock. Her face turned pink, as she stood up and faced away, in a jiffy. Her dori-clad backless blouse wasn't helping the situation either, as he fought the temptation to look further. As soon as he saw the drape lying down and sensed the situation, he went ahead and closed the door in a hurry with a sense of protectiveness surged from nowhere and moved closer. He took veil and covered her over, like a shawl. She turned after taking heavy breaths, struggling to face him.

"Kya main Bhabhi ya Sowmya ko bulaoon?" His husky voice and the heat emanating from his body up and close, were ruining her thinking capabilities.

Hey sankarjee, why did he have to stand this close and look down upon her to ask in the most seductive voice possible?

"wo. Uski haath mein bhi mehendi lage hue na..?" She tried her best possible to face his face but terribly failed as she responded looking at the buttons of his kurta.

There was a moment of silence after which he spoke again.

"Agar tumhe aitraz na ho, kya main pehnaadoon?" Gauri felt a deep flutter as she heard his much huskier deep voice so near that she can feel his breath on her forehead.

She dared not to look on his eyes, as she stood helpless. She was a little nave to understand why her anticipation grew at alarming levels still standing hesitant.

"Par.. aapko kaisa pata hoga, ki pallu kaise lagathe hain?"

"Gauri, I am sculptor, so toda bahut pata hain, ye sab kaise lagathe.." He smirked a little.

Even though she never said yes, he realized she is ok with him draping it. Gauri held on to her lehenga tight with a bated breath with the tip of her fingers, as he pinned the pleat of drape onto the blouse. He was inching so close as his body rubbed against hers so much so that now his heated breath was evident to her. She dared not to look at his eyes at all, as she frantically controlled her senses. He draped it around her bosom and got it around to tuck inside the lehenga.

She was now trembling unsure of the impulses his hands would cause on her waistline. He lingered his fingers as slowly on her waistline waiting for her to say the exact place she wanted the drape to be tucked in.

"Yahan karoon" His voice was blowing in her ears as she closed her eyes.

"Mhhmm.."

He moved it further aside and pointed the spot on her lower hip.

"Hmm.."

She gasped heavily as he felt his cold fingers in her delicate skin. Not being able to clutch him because of mehendi, she had rested her head a little on his chest, unable to withstand the tingling sensations as he leaned more closer to her to be able to do that. His hand was withdrawing slowly as if they were not interested to move out, trailing her waist line stopping midway at a glorious spot for brief few seconds. Gauri can hear his heart's thumping now, as she inched closer realizing he is almost in the same state as hers.

It took a minute for both of them to come to senses, as she was the one to first pull her off himself with immense strength. She looked into his eyes for a split second, with a look stemmed from conflicting emotions as his eyes reciprocated the same. She was gone..

***

In the evening, the younger oberoi ladies were seated in the living room, displaying their mehendi finesse to the elder oberoi's. Shivaay inched closer to anika from back to admire the beauty of his own name when it's etched in her own hands, while Rudra was adoring Sowmya's for having etched their couple name. Gauri looked into her mehendi, the empty space in the center which kind of resembled the letter "O". She felt a familiar warmth as she realized him tending towards her. He looked into her eyes with an intense gaze which is beyond her deciphering capabilities, as he took her hand in his. He caressed the entire design starting from her fingers to elbow, finally resting in her palm. As his finger encircled in an imagery O in the center of her palm, Gauri looked at him in shock or surprise, unknown to her.

"Beautiful" he whispered near her ears..

***

"May I" he asked in his usual choker voice.

She left it for him to untangle and get the neckpiece off. He took quite a bit of time to get it off, but when he got it off, the mangalsutra came along with it. He caught it from falling down, just at the right moment and looked at her. Gauri turned towards him to get it from him, while he seemed to have a plan on his own.

"Pehnadoon?" he asked with a mysterious look as she continued to stare at him

Does he really mean what he is doing? Or is it just a piece of jewellery for him?

"Maaf kijiye, Omkaaraji. Jab dil se patni maan na chahenge, tab isse pehna dena teek rehtha hain. Mere liye yeh mangalsutra baaki gehne ki tarah nahi hain". She indirectly indicated that she isn't comfortable with him adorning the MS just right now with this phase of relationship.

It was an evident prick as Omkaara backed off, immediately. He handed over the ms to her, and turned away with a small "Sorry with overriding guilt on his face.

****

Jhanvi had called Gauri to meet her in her room. Gauri was surprised to find out Tej and Jhanvi smiling with all their self, contended on seeing something from the picture they had at hand. Tej told something in whisper, Jhanvi smiled back. Gauri was feeling happy inside, on having this wonderful lady who is a dream mother-in-law for any girl, finally happy.

"Gauri.. Aao" Tej called her with his hoarse voice. Gauri wondered how his voice is strikingly opposite to that of a deep, husky voice of her Jatadhari..err still-not-a-pati.

She touched both of their feet to surprisingly realize, Tej blessing her for the first time. She never had any proper conversation with him, but that was a previous version of him who was on the clutches of Svetlana. He seemed to be towards redemption, ever since he realized who she was, a treacherous murderer.

"We have a gift for you" Jhanvi smiled at her.

"Gift?"

"Haan.. We know ki tum aur Omkaara ki beech mein tensions hain and you both are still not on exact husband wife terms, but he will eventually turn towards you. Matlab humhe samajh aati hai uski slow and passive behavior, tum shayaad first time experience kar rahi ho. Issliye tum dishearten na ho, Gauri. We are pretty sure he is going to come back to you, as you wanted" Jhanvi's knew the exact inner turmoil she was going through and her words soothed her by great deal.

"Its ok Jhanvi, ab isse bahut heavy mat feel karwawo. Gauri, here we have a picture for you. It was very tough getting it. We will be getting to witness Rudra's marriage par Omkaara ki shaadi na dekhne ki disappointment thi. So I got this picture after a week long ordeal in Bareilly. Picture hi sahi, dekhkar man bhar diya"

Gauri was staring at the picture, frozen for minutes. It was the picture of their marriage in Bareilly, captured at the exact moment when he filled her maang with his blood. Tears swelled up in her eyes without control, as she stood numb, with overwhelming emotions at seeing the picture.

******

Gauri had been quite off balance ever since she saw the picture. She had hid it safely under the pile of her dresses, even though she'd sneak through and have a look at it, once an hour. She was lost in her own deep thoughts, doing all mundane things in a mechanical mode. She wasn't even aware when he came inside, as she was busy travelling in train of thoughts until she bumped onto him and went about to have a horrible fall.

Gauri opened her eyes, only to realize she has indeed landed safely on him. She sat up holding him by his arms.

"aap teek to hain na" Her panicky face and the trailing hands all over him, did bring down the pain of the prick since morning.

"Main teek hoon, tum teek ho?"

"Main teek hoon, sorry Omkaara ji maine dhyaan nahi diya" her hands rested on his stubble cheek.

Had he been in his normal self, her saary to sorry difference would have glared more evidently, but now her anxious soft palm over his stubble cheek were disturbing his senses..

"its ok.. Gauri" He smiled

Gauri kept on staring at his mesmerizing smile, for seconds. Though she thought she had gotten over her fangirl in her, the remains of it came foraying from the bottom ever since she saw the picture.

A man whom she adored even in her dreams, is right within the reach of her hands. She is usually very careful not to expose an iota of her desires, so secretively hidden in the closets of her heart. But today her mind and senses, weren't in harmony ever since she saw glimpses of the flashback that was supposedly life changing.

Her dove shaped eyes couldn't get enough of his caramel eyes, sharp nose and cheeky stubble while her hands trailed all along his face from his forehead. She cupped his cheeks once with a small squeeze and went to on to caress his neck. Her hand lasted in the croon of his neck as her eyes trailed along her hands.

Omkaara was taken aback for a second. He was getting to witness extremely polar bifurcations of same person, in the same day. If in morning, she distanced herself from him, now she was pulling him closer by all means towards her, physically, mentally, emotionally. He never felt such a longing a caress all his life, a touch which is a tell-tale of pure unadulterated love so powerful yet so subtle. He couldn't withdraw or may be dint intend to withdraw from her touch. He held still, taking in every second of her longing caress, with half closed eyes while the remaining fixed on her doey eyes and expressive face. He was bound by some sort of spell, in that minute he belonged in her hands. A spell so strong yet pure, strong enough to rake his calm senses.

Now he held her slender crook of the neck, as she inched closer. His heart danced in anticipation for a kiss, praying she goes for it, as his hand involuntarily drew her lips closer to him.

"Omkaara ji main aapse.." She was talking as if she was in some sort of dream.

The words, now evoked a strong thrust in his heart, to hear those words, still being unsure, why he was expecting it in the first place.

He couldn't take the brief pause as his restlessness grew by leaps and bounds

"Hmm.." He encouraged her to go ahead with a widened eyes, with a small prayer inside that she did.

Spell just lasted few seconds, as the realization dawned upon her. Gauri was flabbergasted. What the hell is she doing?

She withdrew her hands off, in a lightning speed and she stood up with all the hurry, facing away. As much as she was struggling to collect the pieces which she'd almost have given away, he was struggling to shrug himself off a beautiful dream that just played before his eyes, moments before. He was self-admittedly lost, until she pulled herself away with a lightning speed. His disappointment was more than evident on his face, as he felt he was the reason it had to happen in the first place.

"wo.. Omkaaraji.. sorry.. mujhe aise nahi karna chahiye tha.. Galti hogayi mujhse.." words did no good to the situation in hand and the words even though, strikingly similar to what he already said her, worsened the impasse.

"Galti.. hai.. to galti hi rehne do.." his cryptic words, scorn face and cold frozen stature, indicated a different story as she kept pondering at the foolishness that she was about to do.

**

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The brothers were drinking in peace on their bachelor night. Shivaay and Rudra seemed to be brimming with happiness for the obvious reasons, while Omkaara was busy pretending to be happy trying his futile attempts to hide the inner turmoil. He dint want to spoil his brother's happiness, who were finally taking a next big step in their lives, after moments of longing and anticipation.

"Hey rudra, kab venice jaa rahe ho tum dono..?" Shivaay asked with curiosity

"Venice..!!" Omkara exclaimed with a borderline disappointment or jealousy on his little bro?

"Haan.. he is going on a honey moon next week.." Shivaay wished he'd able to go the next day.

"To tum kab jaa rahe ho, Shivaay?" Omkaara turned towards his tadibaaz-turned-majnu brother.

"We will have to wait for 3 weeks before we go on a honeymoon. I have an important memorandum to sign after 2 weeks, so I have made reservations only after 3 weeks, to New Zealand"

"Wow.. Awesome destinations.. Mazaa karo tum dono" his voice lacked have enough cheerfulness, as he frantically tried his heart from running towards the little piece of gloriousness.

The waiter came along the bar counter to collect some ice, for the party the three women were having, secretively in their hideout place. The waiter had placed their mock tail glasses over the counter, only for the other to be mistaken that it's for the brothers. He added a serving of hard liquor to each of them and kept the tray aside.

***

Omkaara came into the room, found Gauri in a strappy noodle top black knee length dress. Her usual colorful salwars with pom pom accessories were gone for good, and his mind was too clouded to think why she was in such a dress. She was struggling to remove the string laced tip heels, cursing soumya in her heart for making her do all this in first place. She lifted her head in surprise, when she felt a pair of warm hands, holding her legs.

Omkaara was removing the strings with that of a softness of a feather. He held her calf muscle on one hand, slowly removing the strings, as she kept on gazing at him with a clouded mind. Her head was gazy, thoughts weren't clear and his warm hands were arousing her sensations, innately.

"Omkaaraji, Chodiye, main kar leti hoon" Her voice was half gazy

"Kyun, mujhe yeh bhi karne ki haq nahi hain?" Neither did he realize she was under influence of alcohol.

The inebriated state, the forlorn "Haq" word instigated the unspoken, blatently hidden and suppressed feelings in both of them. The line of control both dared not cross for their own insecurities or fears, kept in avoidance for the good of the situation.

"Haq" Gauri's dove shaped eyes beemed with hurt, tears hiding her vision "Humhaari beech mein haq ki shabd kaise aayi, jab aapko humhaari shaadi ek naatak lagthi hain?"

Omkaara's inebriated state, helped him let his guards down, the guards of insecurity, fear and rejection which caught him everytime he inched closer. Her tears pricked his heart. "Kyun, jazbaat haq nahi deti?" His voice softened down as his tone grew huskier.

"Jazbaat .. Kaunsa jazbaat. Humhaare beech jo jazbaat tha, wo tha aapki nafrat aur jo ab hai, aapki pachtawa. Isski alava koi jazbaat hai bhi kya" She turned her face in angst.

He inched much closer so much that he was breathing on her forehead. He held her arms gently and slightly raised her up for him to be able to face her easily.

"Shayad hain, jisse tum samajh nahi paa rahi ho?" His cryptic ways of dropping hints left her exasparated

"Aap toh bahut samajhdhaar hain na, batayiye humhe wo kaunsi jazbaat hai jo humhaare beech hai?"

"Chahat"

Gauri was taken aback for a instance. She never expected this even when she was at her best hopes about salvaging their relationship. When things couldn't be mended, she had given up almost, convinced that their relationship is not something destined, he threw her into the same phase which she dreaded to even step in.

She moved few steps back. "Chahat" her voice airy.

"Main tumhaara saath jeena chahtha hoon, Gauri. I wanna grow old with you"

"Par.. phir aap humhaari shaadi kyun nahi maante?" Confused streaks still evident from her face.

"Kaise manta.." His face crushed in guilt as he continued to hold her as a support, as if he'd fall down any minute.

"Matlab?"

"U have any idea, how I wanna treat my girl? I wanted to treat my girl as a princess Gauri, my precious little princess He cupped her cheeks, as tears ran down. "par kya hua, tumhe ghiri hui aurat aur najaane kya kya kaha maine. U think I will be able to get off the guilt, after accusing my girl, of all that wrong things in world? Kitna kuch tum sehan chuki ho, meri wajah se. Maine sirf taqleef aur dukh diya, tumhe. I couldn't keep you happy. That's not what I wanted to be as a husband. Main yeh shaadi nahi manta hoon, kyunki I don't deserve to be your husband. Kaunsi husband apni hi wife ko aise insult karta hain?" He now, sat on the recliner, unable to bear the weight of his own guilt. His hidden exasperation and sorrows came foraying with all its might, in this inebriated state.

Gauri was shocked beyond all levels. She never expected this coming, anytime in her senses. She was trying her best to decode the cryptic person that towered against her, but hardly she expected this to be the reason holding him back.

She held his hands, in a silent support, as he encircled her within his arms, seeking solace in her presence.

"Toh bolo, tum ab bhi chahthi hoon, ki main yeh shaadi maan jaoon?" He asked the most difficult question with a fragmented mind, part hoping she says yes and part defending she says no.

"Humhaari rishthe mein haalat pehle se hi teek nahi raha omkaaraji. Aur uss haalat ko aapki khamoshi bahut badakne diya. Aap apni dil ki baat nahi batate hain, to humhe kaise pata chal jayega? Maine socha ki aap shaadi nahi maana chahthe ho, kyunki aap humhe laayak nahi samajhthe ya pyaar nahi karte. Par aise wajah hogi, yeh to main sapne main bhi nahi socha"

She moved closer to him, instinctively and held his head near her chest, as he buried his head inside her.

"to kahiye, Omkaaraji. Mujhe kya karna chahiye. Aap agar nahi maan na chahthe ho, to teek hain, meri chali jaana hi sahi rahegi" Her voice was on the verge of breaking down, as her face drew dark.

"Kya mujhse door jaana tumhaare liye itna asaani hai?" Tum mere saath issliye ho na, kyunki humhaari shaadi hui aur main tumhaari pati hoon? Gauri quickly caught the pain behind words reflective of his surging insecurities.

"Main ek choti seher mein pali badi hui hoon, jahan ek mard aur aurat sirf shaadi ki bandan ki baad hi ek hi ghar mein reh sakthe. Mujhe pata hai aapki soch alag hain, phir bhi iss shaadi ki baare mein aapse poochthe rehi, kyunki mujhe aapki saath jeena hain. aap se gussa rehna ya door jaana mere liye aasan nahi, aur rahi bhi to ek ghante mein aapki khayal meri dimaag mein chaltha rehtha hain har waqt. Mujhe aapki saath rehna hain, aap ki pyaar mein. Main isse keh nahi paayi, kyunki aap ki dil meri samajh ki bahar tha. Main nahi chahthi aap meri prem aur Shraddha ko bhi galat samajhe. Main sehan nahi kar sakthi Omkaaraji" Gauri hugged him tight, with all her might, taking as much as she could of him, within her tiny frame.

It was Omkaara's turn to remain astonished and still. Their words, though spilt in not-so-aware state, had an immense healing power on their bruised relationship and hearts. The hug, as unexpected as it could be, shattered all his guards into pieces and it just took a moment for him to reciprocate in the most longing way as possible. He held her air tight, though very soft as if he were to hold a peacock feather. His lips trailed along the croon of her neck for the first time with all the "haq", while her hands swayed across the length of his back with the same "haq".

"Main tumhe kabhi jaane nahi doonga" his voice was hazy as his lips trailed her neck up until her lips. He brushed his lips against hers, as Gauri's eyes widened it gaze up so close.

"Meri biwi ko galti karne ki irrade hai?" his eyes twinkled with naughty glint referencing their earlier encounter.

Her eyes popped out at the word that she'd been waiting to hear, all these days..

"Biwi..!!??!!

"Haan Biwi!

She pressed her lips against his, as they sunk in each other's love passionately shortly before fizzling out in each other's arms, in a deep peaceful slumber.

*********

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