PYAAR KI RAHEIN-sk fanfic - Page 114

neelu yaar me here with my comments on the part you have posted.... 😃 neelu dear kya likha hai tune.. mere tho hosh udd hii gaye hai... i was like hypnotized... yaar sachchi it was a awesome part... dekh main hamesha kehthi hoon na kii expect the unexpected in your story.. see this part is one more example of expect the unexpected... me completely bowled over with this part.. according to me tho this part of your's is a big sixer joh tune maara hai...aur woh sixer bhii aisa kii bal ko agar dhoonge bhi tho nahii milega.. tumhari story always leaves a damn good , great impact on the readers.. every time tum joh bhi likhthi ho i totally love your writing... neelu yaar tu mujhko ek baat bata how do you write so damn well each and every time.... har baar you write something which is too unimaginable... totally stupendous...me tho yeh part padke sachchi khushi ke maare ulchal rahii hoon...the part was simply par excellence yaar.. sachchi keh rahi hoon mere pass shabd nahii to describe kii mujhe yeh part kitna zyada achcha laga hai..all i can say is me completely , totall spell-bound yaar...is part ke saare scenes mere aankhon ke saamne ghoom rahe hai.. the part was amazing yaar.. bohat hii achche tarike se likha hai tumne yeh part.. yeh part padke mera dil behad khush ho gaya..actually i can say yeh part padke mera dil garden garden ho gaya.... yeh part padke mujhko seeti maarne ka jee kar raha hai... this part has indeed spread a bhatisi smile on my face i really cannot stop smiling.... this part was very damn sweet and also simple....it had all the ingrediations the funny element , the confusion element and also the romance element... it really had everything....you keep up the good work going... 👏
ab neelu teri tareef mein kitna bhi kahoon mujhko tho lagega kii woh kum hii hai... tho ab chal i'll get onto the analysis of the part... tho part wahaan se shuru hotha hai jahaan par kashish sujal ko apne reaction ke sahare hairaan-bouraan-pareshaan karke wahaan se chali jaathi hai... aur sujal wahiin khada hoke kashish ke is sudden change kii wajah soch raha hotha hai still in that daze..aur yahaan apni kashish madam tho apne kamre mein chali jaathi hai aur bed par lait jaathi hai aur takiye mein apna mooh chupa ke ro rahii hothi hai... yahaan kashish bechari bohat zyada tadap rahii hai.. woh yeh baat samaj nahii paa rahii hai kii akhir sujal usko kiss baat kii sazaa de raha hai...kashish ka rona shows kii woh sujal se is tarah se behave karke koi khush nahii hai.. jahaan ek taraf she potrayed a brave front sujal ke aage wahiin akele mein woh ro rahii hai.. this shows the sensitive part of kashish..me feeling very bad at kashish ka rona..bechari does not even have a crying shoulder.. jisse woh apne saare dukh-dard baant sake... uske sabse zyada kareeb tho sujal hii hai aur yeh sujal hai kii kashish ko samahtha hii nahii hai..actually sujal usko samajtha hai aur achche se sujal kashish ko samajthe samajthe woh kashish ko ghalat samaj letha hai... bechari kashish kii tho is mein koi ghalthi bhii nahi.. agar koi bina uski ghalthi hai usko ghalat samjhe , usko samjhane ka mouka bhii na de tho is mein bechari kashish ka kya kasoor.. uska koi dosh nahii..aur kashish abhi bed par sisak sisak kar ro rahi hothi hai... ahh..me feeling so bad for her..she must be in so much of pain.. me sure her heart must be pinching her every moment.... ab sujal ka kuch dhair baad kamre mein aana... he looks at kashish from the door and he could see that she was crying.. well me sure sujal ko yeh drishya bilkul bhi pasand nahii aaya hoga.. ab sujal is confused.. he actually becomes a confused soul woh samaj nahii paa raha tha kii usko kamre mein jaana chahiye nahii tho phir wahiin se chale jaana chahiye... ab sujal in that uljhan hii kamre mein enter kartha hai.. actually sujal seems to be so confused because kashish kii aisi haalat dekhkar wo khud samaj nahii paa raha tha kii kya woh sahii kar raha hai yaa ghalat.. issi wajah se sujal is acting so confused... ab sujal kii ek confusion khatam nahii hui kii whether he should enter the room or not tabhi uske mann mein ek aur confusion create ho gayi aur woh yeh kii kya woh roti-bilakthi hui kashish ke pass jaakar baite yaa phir usse akela chod de... well this seems to be that sujal ke dil aur dimaak ke beech kii yeh saari confusion hai.. well is baat par mujhko sujal se kehna hai kii sujal tumne hii rulaya na kashish ko ab tum hii sambhalo usse.. tumne kya uska haath isliye thama tha kii tum usse akele chod do.. ab tum jao aur usse sambhalo..aur aise confusion master kii tarah apne liye confusions create karna chod do...ab sujal ussi confusion mein rehkar on the other side of the bed aake bait jaatha hai.. sujal jaantha hai kii kashish ro rahi hai.. par kashish ke baal uske chehre ko dhakke hue hai.. tho sujal ko kashish ka chehra nahii dikh raha hotha hai.. well sujal agar tumhari problem yeh hai kii kashish ka chehra tumko nahii dikh raha hai tho simple ek kaam karo go close to kashish uske chehre se baal hatao.. usse apne uske pass hone ka ehsaas karao... agar tum aise hii usse durr baite rahoge tho kuch hone wala nahii samjhe sujal.. hahahahaha.... ab sujal wapas apne us confusion mode par chala gaya.. usko phir samaj nahii aa raha kii woh kya karein... abhi sujal aise baita hii hotha hai jab kashish ko ehsaas hotha hai kii koi aur bhii kamre mein hai.. ab kashish nazre utakar apne baalon ke beech se sujal ko dekhthi hai joh wahaan baita hua hai.. probably he is staring at her too... ab kashish according to me is behaving like a chotti si bachchi...bachchi dikh rahi hai mujhko kashish mein tho.. she is looking shoo innocent..just like a chotti baby... ab kashish telling sujal jao chale jao yahaan se.. sujal tho pehle se hii bada confused soul tha abhi aur bhi zyada confooseeeeee ho gaya.. aisa lag raha hai kii sujal ke dimaak ka saara fuse nikal gaya hai..ab sujal isd like huh.. me sure sujal kashish ke is baat par sabse zayada confuse hua hoga kyunke kashish usko uske kamre se hii jaane ko keh rahii hai..hahahahaha... ab sujal is more confused and he steps towards kashish.. lekin kashish ka haal aisa hai kii uska ghussa abhi thanda nahii hua hai.. she is acting like a typical kid.. wohii zidd... she is in a very bad mood , extremely irritated... ab she takes a pillow throws it aiming at sujal.. but the shot misses.. aur sujal bach gaya... hahaha.. bad shot
kashish.. mujhko kashish ke is bharthaav par bohat zyada haasii aa rahi hai.. then she shouts at him kii woh wahaan se chala jaye... sujal tho pehle se hii was behaving like a confusion king ab tho kashish ke behaviour se woh aue bhi confuse ho jaatha hai and woh chup chaap wahaan se chala jaatha hai and kashish digs her face back in the pillow... well sachchi sachchi kahoon tho is scene par mujhko bohat zyada hii haasii aa rahi hai..sujal kii confusion..kashish kii bachkaani harkatein.. she throwing the pillow at him.. sujal ka tho dimaak kii fuse hii udd jaana... all were just too damn funny yaar.. me cannot stop laughing after reading this scene....ab aise scene ke baad kuch aisa hotha hai kii sujal bohat time bheet jaane ka baad apne kamre mein wapas aatha hai.. waise bhii bechara pehle kaise aatha woh tho kashish ko yeh roop dekhkar jaise pareshaan hii hogaya hoga.. tho sujal ko itna time laga to regain his composure.. me sure is baar bhi sujal kamre mein aane se pehle usne hazaar baar socha hoga bechara darr darrke aaya hoga kamre mein.. sujal enters the room with the thought kii kashish ka ghussa ab thak thanda ho gaya hoga.. hahahaha.... this shows kii sujal kashish ke ghusse se kitna zyada darr raha hai....... me sure sujal ke tho pukka pasine bhii choot rahe honge... 😆
ab sujal dekhtha hai kii kashish bed par hii ulta so gayi hai... usne tho abhi thak apne kapde bhii nahii badle....kashish tho bechati rothe rothe hii so gayi.. woh itni masoom lag rahii hai with a sweet innocent look on her chehra.... kashish ke baal bhikrre pade hue hai... sujal observes kii woh gheri neend mein so rahii hai.. tho ab sujal himmat karke kashish ke kareeb jaatha hai.. me sure sujal apne dil mein yahii baat pray kar raha hoga kii kashish soyi hui ho , woh jaagi hui na ho... sujal ko kashish ke pass jaane se bhi thoda tho darr lag raha hoga dil mein kyunke agar kashish jaagi hui hogi aur woh uske pass gaya tho kahiin woh kashish ke zakmmo ko phir se na khuraid de.. issi liye he must be thinking woh soyi hui ho.. ab sujal mahashay ko tho ramnce soojtha hai... he touches kashish ka arm by sliding his fingers slowly.. hye.. kya baat sujal..bade romantic mood mein ho lagtha hai.. waise is baat par mujhe sujal se poochna hai kya sujal ab kashish soyi hui hai aur tum uske kareeb jaa rahe ho.. kitna achcha hotha agar woh jaggi hui hothi aur tum uske kareeb jaathe..lekin never mind lekin tumhara dil joh thoda thoda naram hue jaa raha hai me liking it way too much sachchi.... ab sujal dheere dheere se apna haath ko kashish ke bare back par se guzartha hai.. he is touching are softly... he is running his hands over all her back.. lagtha hai sujal is feeling kashish close to himself... aur woh kashish ko apni zehen mein basa le raha hai which he cannot do if kashish is awake...hye..yaar... me sure agar kashish neend bhi hai tho she must have surely felt a chill run down her spine.... sujal ke yeh harkatein mujhko sharmana par majboor kar rahii hai...hye..hye.. main vaarijawaan... woh gaana hai na main satke jawaam... mujhko woh gaana gaane ko jeekar raha hai... ab sujal runs a hand on her head , uske baalon ko uske chehre se nikaal detha hai... he does all this very slowly kyunke he does not want to disturb kashish.. hye.. kya concern hai dono ka.. kya pyaar hai... aur phir sujal jhuke kisses kashish on her cheeks with loads of affection... yaar in dono ke pyaar ko na mera salaam... aur waise sujal ke yeh saare scenes reminded me how how in the hotel kashish was getting close to sujal and sujal behosh hogaya... ab yahaan kashish so rahii hai.. uff.. yaar kya in dono ke beech yeh zaroori hotha kii jab bhi romance chal raha ho in dono ke beech ya tho ek nashe mein dhut hokar behosh ho jaye yaa phir ek so raha ho.. mujhko samaj nahii aathi... hahahaha.. waise inke beech ka romance..the cho-chicoo moments between them are just too romantic.... me tho blushing totally... sachchi mujhko sharam aa rahi hai.. this scene was very damn romantic..sho cute... sho sweet... ☺️ ab neelu yaar coming to my guess on the next part.. next part ke liye i think kii kashish who according to sujal is sleeping lekin mere hisaab se kashish is not sleeping.. woh jaagi hui hai... this is my intution... ab when sujal kashish ke pass se jaane lagega tab shayad kashish uska haath pakad kar usko rokh legi.. sujal will be shocked kii kashish jaagi hui hai.. kashish utkar bait jayegi and she will hug sujal tightly... and shayad she will cry her heart out..ab even i think that sujal will try to calm her down concole her...and issi beech dono bhi kareeb aayenge... and there will be huge amounts of romance which might follow this scene... me sure sujal , kashish kareeb se bhi zyada kareeb aajaayenge... shayad even sujal will let go the shak of his brain for that moment... and may be sujal , kashish ek ho jaye issi emotional moment ke beech... yeh ho saktha yaa agar nahii tho aisa hoga kii kashish must be sleeping only... agle din yaa agle kuch din sujal will continue behaving badly with kashish.. and kashish bhi sujal ko eent ka jawaab pathar se degi... aur iske chalthe hue woh dono kareeb bhi aayenge.... neelu yeh hai mere do guesses ab neelu tu bol mera kaunsa guess sahii hai.. 😉 😉 😉 😉 ab neelu yaar please do post the next part soon.. me waiting for the next part very damn eagerly...😛

gr8 part neelu 👏
cont. soon

Ok nxt prt-

[thanxs 143786 & Ravinder duggal 4 commentin]

aur uske bikhre balon ko k ke chehre se bade pyaar se aur dheeme se haataa tha hai

& gives a small soft peck on her rosy cheek dheere se with ounce of affection


kuch ghante baad-

abhi karib raat ke 2 baje hain

k ussi position pe bed pe so rahi hai

aur sujal window ke saamne khada hokaar smoke kaar raha hai

achanak k ki neend khulti hai

she yawns & sits on the bed

s ko ehsaas hota hai ki k uth gai hai

wo jaldi se ciggret window se phek deta hai

k is still sleepy

k-[yawnin,she asks s]kya time ho raha hai?

s-do..so baaj rahe hain raat ke

k-do?raat ke?oh shayad ankh laag gai hogi!tumne muje jaagaaya kyun nahi?

s-tum so rahi thi to……..wo..emm..maine socha ki…….

k-khana kha lia?

s-khana?..emm..nahi

k-nahi?nahi khaya?paar kyun?

s-emm..wo..emm..tum so rahi thi naa..wo..islie..emm..wo

k is looking at s

s-wo..emm..main neeche jaata hoon,tum bhi chalo..dinner karenge..emm..ok

k-tum neeche jao,main aati hoon,change karke

s-ok..fine!

s goes neeche


kuch der baad

k comes neeche change karke,wearin a nightie

k dinin table ke pass pohonchti hai

wahan pe saab glass cutlery plates etc saab saajaa ke rakhe hue hain

paar s wahan kahin nahi hai

paar wahan s ko naa dekhkaar zara hairaan ho jaati hai

tabhi she hears some noise comin frm the kitchen

she peeps,

wo jhaankke dekhti hai

aur dekhti hai ki

s microwave pe khana garam karr raha hai

k hairaan ho jaati hai

k-sujal!

s-emm..haan![turns twrds k]

k-tum!ye..saab!


s-emm..wo..emm..kashish..socha jabb taak tum nahi aati taab taak..emm..waise saab ho gaya hai,bass ek dish garam karni reh gai hai

k-nahi tum jao,main karti hoon!

s-nahi tum baitho,bass ho gaya hai!..baitho!

k-hmm!

K jaake dinin table paar sits

k-[mann mein]sujal ne..ye saab kia!paar..kyun?

Kuch der baad s comes with the dishes,& keeps it on the table

s-ye lo..ho gaya!emm..lts strt!

k-hmm

both r quietly eatin

paar dono ek dusre ki naazre churake

khaate khaate ek dusre ki taraf teerchi nigahon se dekh rahe hain

try findin the part 2 of my fic,coz abb se il cont there,i am sorry if the link isnt workin

This topic will now be closed because Part 2 has been created. 😃

Take Care,

xx Shailee xx