Varsha's Adoption - Page 4

All I can say is, this is PR-land, where they dont seem to believe in doctors. Therefore adoption is the preferred option over in-vitro or any other medical treatment...
But as far as Varsha being committed to adoption and raising an adopted child goes, I think she's prepared... She seems to fully regret what she's done and has accepted the consequences. I like that she's not shown as broken and given up on life; I like that they're showing her taking control of her future. I think she has a supportive husband who will help guide her if she falters. As much as I see bhavna's pov and believe she has a right to express it, I don't think it's up to her what decision Varsha and satish make. I get that she wants to be a Dadi, but Varsha has a right to be a mother... Personally speaking, I have 2 wonderfully amazing daughters-- an infant and a toddler. The decision to have a 3rd child is strictly up to myself and my hubby, but more so up to me. But no one else!!
I hope the cvs treat this adoption issue well and don't butcher it!! Perhaps it's time for some redemption for Varsha's botched up character.

I dont really know if Varsha has already analyzed the pros n cons of adoption but i wud like 2 believe she is genuinely interested 2 give her love 2 a child n that she has discussed the matter with Satish, a sensible guy all the way with the right doses of emotionality n logical reasoning. I wud like 2 give her the benefit of doubt without judging her too much. I dont really think that Varsha wud go for adoption just because Bhavna suggested remarriage or because she feared losing Satish. Varsha knows Satish too much n knows that she has a hubby, an all time ally n friend, who wud support her through thin n thick.
Varsha, i wud like 2 believe, is trying 2 work out things in her messy life n 2 catch up. Her talk with Bhavna seemed 2 indicate so. We usually learn from our mistakes/goofs. How many of us have not looked behind at least once n said - Gosh, was it really me who commited that blunder? How come i was so stupid?
Varha's mistake was a huge one which must have surely shook her 2 the core. But if she is doing it just in a whim then better drop the idea.
Adoption being a noble act asks a lot of investment from adopted parents. Satish defo seems 2 b mature enuf 2 b a gud father but is Varsha ready?
The coming of a baby can create havoc in a couple n here it is the coming of a child whose experiences (traumatic most of the time) wud also have 2 b dealt with utmost care. Most of the time adopted kids r very emotionally unstable n can behave very unpredictably at times.
I have 2 adopted cousins in my family n i can say my aunt has very trying times with them. Besides i work with abused/problematic kids n i know how they can b very challenging. One day they r all happy n the nex day they r gloomy n dont want 2 mingle with u.
I read Omana, Racchna n Xyzeee posts. I like ur take n i agree mostly with the points u have brought forward.
@zee
I can understand ur resent of such archaic thoughts of bringing potas in the worldI totally agree with ur take on it.
Agree with u again that it is purely a couple's choice whether they want 2 go for treatments n further tests, in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination...or adoption.
Yes many couple choose adoption though they can have their own children but it is unfortunately not Varsha's case. Is she really sterile, we really dunno. Remember the doc made her diagnostic with a stethoscope only😆
But yes i feel she is sincere. It wud b very unfair 2say that because she is more the practical gal (not like Archana) that she wont b a gud mother. Motherhood can make wonders.You should just learn 2 strike a balance n b well organized. Right now i am seeing Varsha as a desperate woman who wants 2 b a mother n i hope she gets a chance.
@Omana
I'll agree with u when u say may b a baby wud b a better option than a kid for reasons i've stated above. Besides, it wud, may b help in melting down Bhavna coz at the end of the day it is a baby that she wanted 2 play with not a grown up kid. Sasha live with her n they have the responsibility n duty 2 care for her likes too.

Originally posted by: shootingstar27

Varsha will most probably continue working even after she adopts a child. Nothing wrong with a working mother.In Varsha's case however, the adopted child will be at home with Bhavna.She has very strong views on orphans so don't think she would welcome the child with open arms. Most of these children already suffer emotional scar to a certain extent, being with a person with Bhavna would make it worse for them.It isn't fair for the child.

good point shootingstar.......I have seen a friend who had gone for adoption and as zee said a sense of gratification indeed and also to get appreciation from everyone.....but whats the use...this dame and her husband lead such an hectic life that the child is forever at the mercy of the maids....ah only during the birthdays the whole society is invited......wonder whom are all these people trying to fool....

Originally posted by: tvdost

good point shootingstar.......I have seen a friend who had gone for adoption and as zee said a sense of gratification indeed and also to get appreciation from everyone.....but whats the use...this dame and her husband lead such an hectic life that the child is forever at the mercy of the maids....ah only during the birthdays the whole society is invited......wonder whom are all these people trying to fool....

Originally posted by: omshreejaanu

I dont really know if Varsha has already analyzed the pros n cons of adoption but i wud like 2 believe she is genuinely interested 2 give her love 2 a child n that she has discussed the matter with Satish, a sensible guy all the way with the right doses of emotionality n logical reasoning. I wud like 2 give her the benefit of doubt without judging her too much. I dont really think that Varsha wud go for adoption just because Bhavna suggested remarriage or because she feared losing Satish. Varsha knows Satish too much n knows that she has a hubby, an all time ally n friend, who wud support her through thin n thick.
Varsha, i wud like 2 believe, is trying 2 work out things in her messy life n 2 catch up. Her talk with Bhavna seemed 2 indicate so. We usually learn from our mistakes/goofs. How many of us have not looked behind at least once n said - Gosh, was it really me who commited that blunder? How come i was so stupid?
Varha's mistake was a huge one which must have surely shook her 2 the core. But if she is doing it just in a whim then better drop the idea.
Adoption being a noble act asks a lot of investment from adopted parents. Satish defo seems 2 b mature enuf 2 b a gud father but is Varsha ready?
The coming of a baby can create havoc in a couple n here it is the coming of a child whose experiences (traumatic most of the time) wud also have 2 b dealt with utmost care. Most of the time adopted kids r very emotionally unstable n can behave very unpredictably at times.
I have 2 adopted cousins in my family n i can say my aunt has very trying times with them. Besides i work with abused/problematic kids n i know how they can b very challenging. One day they r all happy n the nex day they r gloomy n dont want 2 mingle with u.
I read Omana, Racchna n Xyzeee posts. I like ur take n i agree mostly with the points u have brought forward.
@zee
I can understand ur resent of such archaic thoughts of bringing potas in the worldI totally agree with ur take on it.
Agree with u again that it is purely a couple's choice whether they want 2 go for treatments n further tests, in vitro fertilization, artificial insemination...or adoption.
Yes many couple choose adoption though they can have their own children but it is unfortunately not Varsha's case. Is she really sterile, we really dunno. Remember the doc made her diagnostic with a stethoscope only😆
But yes i feel she is sincere. It wud b very unfair 2say that because she is more the practical gal (not like Archana) that she wont b a gud mother. Motherhood can make wonders.You should just learn 2 strike a balance n b well organized. Right now i am seeing Varsha as a desperate woman who wants 2 b a mother n i hope she gets a chance.
@Omana
I'll agree with u when u say may b a baby wud b a better option than a kid for reasons i've stated above. Besides, it wud, may b help in melting down Bhavna coz at the end of the day it is a baby that she wanted 2 play with not a grown up kid. Sasha live with her n they have the responsibility n duty 2 care for her likes too.

Originally posted by: Claire0206

Very good post Hope Di

Adopting a child is a huge responsibility which requires your 100% serious commitment . Where a child starts dreaming and hoping for the love and affection which they have been deprived off. One should not adopt a child unless they are more than 100% committed to wards it and all other options of having their own children has exhausted, cause it's always the child who suffers. Rest of the family should also be taken into confidence before going in for adoption otherwise the child life will be a hell.

As regards to Varsha, I think she is not yet ready to bring the child home. She is happy spending time with them but not yet ready to take the responsibility. She did say that if Bhavana is not accepting she will not go for adoption and today she said she is happy being a mom to all the orphan kids out there rather than being a mom of just her own child .

If genuinely she want to adopt a child they should first create a healthy atmosphere in the house and convince Bhavana to accept the child first not for Varsha's sake but for the child who will be coming with high expectations.

Claire:

Or they can choose to live seperately and not force the child on Bhavna but gradually let her develop a bond with the child. many people are averse to change in life, especially dramatic life altering change as in this situation and they react agressivly at the thought but once the change takes place it is human nature to adopt.

I hink if they did decide to adopt with time Bhavna could cme around. She is not a malicious person from what they have shown to date. Now if Ajit Vandu had decided to adopt do not think Rasika would EVER come around. She is not only malicious but hyper protective of her bloodline

Originally posted by: shootingstar27

Good topic Hope.

I agree with you her act is commendable but her intentions are not.

I don't see Varsha as a nurturing person.She is very impulsive and tend to lose interest quickly.Varsha have always wanted what people say she can't have, in this case a child.She throws tantrums to get things her way then loses interest once she has succeeded.There's a good chance she might revert to her old ways of wanting her freedom and career once the novelty of having a child wears off.

I believe it is a couple's prerogative if they do or don't wish to have children however as Satish is the only son and this being an Indian family, Bhavna's wish can't be ignored either.

Bhavna is adamant on a biological grandson.She was knitting mittens and booties when Varsha was pregnant.She wants a baby not a kid.She also has very strong views on orphans and adoption.

So I don't think adoption is the best solution for Satish and Varsha.There are a myriad of fertility treatments available which they can consider.They are both educated and have the means to go for these treatments.Fertility treatments are delicate processes which takes a lot of time and tremendous patience.I feel the time taken will help Varsha decide if she really wants a child and it is not just her latest whim.

Omana
@bold - I don't think it is a whim this time round though. I think she is using it as some kind atonement / makeup solution in desperation. It is also the only one that was presented to her by a source she trusts i.e. believe it was one of the Ks?? don't remembercearly.

Bhavna for all her biases or prejudices in this matter actually made the wisest solution - visit a medical expert

this seems to be the last and least appreciated solution by all the K women unfortunately. They seem to survive on an exclusive diet of hope, Bappa, and naturopathy.

see the problem is that while Bhavna has her bias about Varsha so does Varsha about Bhavna - quite often people that we distrust or dislike say sensible things an we ignore it because we are blinded by our dslike of them. In fact even Savita - while she said things about Archana that are deatable, she said many hometruths to Manav about the mother -son relatioship that he ignored because he was consumed by her hatred for Archana.

ok my last statement was not about Archana though it did make reference to her

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

Adoption is good, but I personally feel it can never replace own flesh and blood in hands😊.

It is simply a very noble thing, but you need to be noble aswell to do it. So first question which need to be answered is: "Are you noble enough to carry out this great responsibility in future, under any circumstance?".

Adopted child might never really feel like own child... sometimes they will search for their own parent. It is not right to think only from the adopter's perspective, but also for the perspective of the adopted child.

There are many things which can occur 😊 ... noble deeds don't come so easy.

I personally think that it should be a step taken with great caution and self assessment. How much attached you can be is not the issue - but how much responsible but at the same time "how much detached" you can be?😊

Own child equation and adopted child cannot be the same. Simply, in my view 😆😃😊.

I believe in charity and giving service. I had worked as a Catholic girl's group member in my teen years in Poland ... was trained with elderly and orphans ... but was chosen to nurse elderly as it is more tricky and needs patience. But orphans have a whole set of different variables.

Many things to talk about. But in no way it is wrong ... it is just "very big" ... far bigger than mere desires and thoughts 😊.

Zofi😃🤗

Been so long honey.

@bolded blue. very good point. glad you brought it up.

I feel exactly the same. Adoption vs. surrogacy is a very subjective choice. quite often latter is better solution and more desired solution. yet people shy away from it.

In fact this is a constant bone of contention between me and my older sis.

both of us look at this very emotionally yet practically😆 but always end up with different conclusions.

my sis believes that if you cannot have a child naturally then you should adopt

I believe that if I cannot have a child then my first option should be fertility or surrogacy and lastly adoption. In fact there are many others who feel the same way as me. We have nothing against orphan children and would very much like to help them (through means other than adoption) but being true to one's self have to admit that given the option i.e. even surrogacy, I would get an opportunity to see myself and my husband's personality traits in that child, which would never happen with adoption. It does not sound politically correct but it is a natural honest feeling. I want to have my partner's offspring not just any child. I would have no problem acting as a foster parent though to help orphaned children.

my sister though argues the other side - she says that when there are so many orphaned children out there it is selfish to think of options like surrogacy - to which I say that using that argument - until all orphaned children are are adopted even thinking of having natural children is selfish na?😆😆😆 my sister is more extreme in her passion on this issue I must admit but the argument still holds.

Quite often people make adoption the more moral aternative and this moral argument (coupled with other reasons) dissuades people from considering options like surrogacy or fertility. I think this is not right. morality is important but there is no harm in being a little self serving if it is not malicious or damaging to others na?

Varsha had an abortion and as a result of some resultant damage cannot concieve. this could mean that she has damaged her uterus or her cervix not necessarily her ovaries. She could still have her own child through surrogacy but as she is hesitant to take Bhavna's suggestion to go to the doctor she will never know now will she?

Originally posted by: Polki_Zofi

@xyzeee: 😊 do you know that the world is not really over populated everywhere? Maybe (ofcourse 😆) in India or China, but in places like Poland and Russia or Ukraine, the population is infact in negative rate, and government is giving incentives to people so that they can have children of their own.

So yes, it is all relative.

I know of people who take children for adoption, but I know this from Church's perspective, not as individual perspective of families as you saw 😊. Churches always face many issues in such scenario ... and there are always many variables.

I am happy you only had the good experiences, or maybe not experience but good stories to share 😊

in Canada too