Varsha's Adoption - Page 6

Originally posted by: omshreejaanu

Adoption being a noble act asks a lot of investment from adopted parents. Satish defo seems 2 b mature enuf 2 b a gud father but is Varsha ready?
The coming of a baby can create havoc in a couple n here it is the coming of a child whose experiences (traumatic most of the time) wud also have 2 b dealt with utmost care. Most of the time adopted kids r very emotionally unstable n can behave very unpredictably at times.
I have 2 adopted cousins in my family n i can say my aunt has very trying times with them. Besides i work with abused/problematic kids n i know how they can b very challenging. One day they r all happy n the nex day they r gloomy n dont want 2 mingle with u.
many couple choose adoption though they can have their own children but it is unfortunately not Varsha's case. Is she really sterile, we really dunno. Remember the doc made her diagnostic with a stethoscope only😆
Right now i am seeing Varsha as a desperate woman who wants 2 b a mother n i hope she gets a chance.

agree

@Hope:

😳🤗Hej Hope 😊, yes it has been long. Few recent weeks were nothing less than a different planet experience 😃. The wedding of my sister in law, along with preceding ceremonies and post marriage receptions occurred. A full fledged Indian marriage with big drums and big gifts and big feasts 😆, nothing could be small 😊. I cannot describe it back in Poland to my cousins and my friend, I wonder if they will ever believe and not discount thinking it is exaggeration 😆. But I guess you will know what I mean ... 😉

It all continued for 2 months, everything we did it had something to do with the marriage. In this time I personally had lots of blessings, thanks to kools too, she gave me 2 remarkable tips in life which I cannot forget 😊, and they worked.

About surrogacy, it is definitely a very tough choice, but I guess it is better still when the topic of adoption comes. I know some of our friends here must be having a different story they came across 😊, but I saw it very near as a member of the Catholic Girl's Group 😊.

We had trainings before being posted with a fixed duty (as volunteers). I had some close experience on the "things behind the scene" of adoption. It is never easy with the child who is to be adopted, and it is always a very complex thing. A blond little girl running around looks like a doll 😊, but she had more in her than just her present presentation. A human child is not only about the short term experience. It has a whole different psychological framework. The parents need to align themselves with it, and so must the child. However, more often than not, atleast one party fails to do it properly, and in such relationships the smallest of errors keep growing with time and take various challenging shapes. It is too detailed to explain in a post, it is about experience, training and formal education on how to handle such children and also the elderly.

Bottom line I can say is that it does not always work, and it is not about just some months or years, but an entire life of relationship. Many people look at the "attachment" part, but there is a very real "detachment" part too. This is not easy to explain even, which makes it more difficult.

The particular Church and the administration believed in charity and infrastructure for the Orphans more than adoption. Do you know the current laws of Poland and neighboring Countries on adoption? It is becoming more strict.

It is true that my knowledge of India is limited. But I think children are similar everywhere, because they are innocent and growing. So I could input 😊

If you think I made errors 😳, then it can be 😉😃, but I did communicate 😉 😳. These is a offpeak week you can say 😎, not much to do. Relaxing, but go to shop tomorrow to buy some cloth and a movie called "Mother India" (as suggested to me by kool here). Also, a few books 😊. I love books, and it seems they are available and not so expensive in India 😊.





🤗

Hope, nice topic.

I think Varsha's intentions are noble but she is not ready to take on the responsibilities. I think her decision was rushed and she is still in the process of grieving for her loss, which is her inability to have kids, not so much the child she aborted. Even right now she is doing it for selfish reasons, her want to have a kid is overshadowing the adopted child's need for parents.

Also, she needs to consider other factors like the environment of her household, mostly Bhavana. I don't think she is completely wrong in wanting what she does. With that said i think Bhavana will end up being an emotional threat to the adopted child.

Originally posted by: --Hope--

@purple - you have made that comment before and I wanted to reply to it specifically but I did not as I thought it was a one off.

However, at its next instance, I cannot help observing the bolded blue contradicts thebolded purple

I dont mean to be rude but you have mentioned this is when quoting other members posts and it might make them feel ridiculous when their posts include analysis. I know I would feel like I was getting that message if someone quoting my posts responded to me as such before proceedng to counter my analysis with their own analysis of the characters at any point in time (whether in essay form or one liner)

I hope I have not been rude ( I have tried not to) and I do apologize in advance if you have taken offence but threads such as these are intended solely to analyze characters and share opinions, positions and arguments based on how we perceive the characters actions and anyone participating on this thread is naturally presumed to be doing all of the above whether they are presenting an opinion or countering it.

I am afraid that if I do not say this others who choose to make an analytical comment might shy away from doing so which will defeat the prupose of having such a thread.

I say this without prejudice to you, please accept it as such.

thanks Hope

Originally posted by: xyzzee

Loved the chill pill part:))

Originally posted by: carpe-diem

Hope, nice topic.

I think Varsha's intentions are noble but she is not ready to take on the responsibilities. I think her decision was rushed and she is still in the process of grieving for her loss, which is her inability to have kids, not so much the child she aborted. Even right now she is doing it for selfish reasons, her want to have a kid is overshadowing the adopted child's need for parents.

Also, she needs to consider other factors like the environment of her household, mostly Bhavana. I don't think she is completely wrong in wanting what she does. With that said i think Bhavana will end up being an emotional threat to the adopted child.

the writers never really showed a meaningful conversation between varsha and satish where he voices his grievances and she shows true remorse (before they found out she could not have other kids) - he just said he missed her and took her back and she said she was sorry for the fallout I think. it is almost like they took this really serious and enormous issue and swept it under the figurative carpet. As a viewer I felt that a confrontation before reconciliation was much needed.

don't you carpie?????

i keep feeling like Varsha has not done the necessary introspection required with regards to the abortion and now this situation. all her reactions seem very very reactive. makes any step she takes seem very unstable and ill thought out.

there is still time for them to show a full blown out convo between varsha and satish - a thrashing of all old ills, an assessment of their current status quo and the implications of their next steps
i like the satish varsha relationship. there is more of a tug of war here (quite realistic) and not all hunky dory all the time. they need to exlore this relationship more than vaishu- dharmu which they spent too much time on and is now frankly boring.

Originally posted by: xyzzee

You have obviously misunderstood me and hence quoted me out of context and I am saddened by it. But I respect your thoughts and opinions. Maybe it is my fault - as I keep mentioning that I do NOT make myself clear half the times😃. YES, I analyze characters based on the PAST episodes, but I do not think I can analyze something that MAY or may not happen in the FUTURE and what a character's future reactions may be. That is all. As I have said these characters are unrealistic for the most part so I can go to the extent of just analyzing and discussing the PAST reactions (that's already taken place), but who knows what the CVs will do in the future to these characters?? Thats in the hands of the CV and CVs change characters to such an extent it is not funny and often unrealistic. If I remember right I even mentioned in one of my past posts that I was NOT referencing or pointing fingers at anyone and it was entirely generic (Yeah I may have seen it a few times but I did not have any one person in mind when I wrote it:-)) The person omssreejaanu acknowledged it and said so. Very sorry if you have taken it personally - you only have my word for it when I say I was not referring to anyone or making fun of anyone😊. Never for the life of me would I do that in an open forum. I think some people who know me well here would agree.😊

As for adoption, each to his or her own. I have ben very fortunate to have had good experiences even 20 years ago when my mom's friend adopted a boy and the boy is now in his early 20s and what a gem. So I totally understand when I see people having different views based on their own observations. Fair enough. I just believe that TV Serials should show adoption in a realistic yet healthy, encouraging light and also highlight on the mistakes people make when adopting and for people to learn from it. Whether PR will do so or not only time can tell.

I guess I did misunderstand you and I am really sorry if you felt that I came on too strong or inappropriately strong.

I still have a hangover from the going ons in the forum from the last few months and it has left a sour taste in my mind and I guess I was oversensitive. Sorry about that.

you see I am particularly sensitive when I read comments related to analytical posts and the sentiment ridiculing it. Again, I guess I mistakenly applied this sensitivity to your comment.

My friend Kools, many other forum members like myself who used to post on Kools thread with similar analytical posts constantly felt that the analysis was being ridiculed by others. The irony behind is that the ones ridiculing analytical posts were actually intrigued enough to read them before or inorder to ridicule them. maybe it was not the analytical nature of the posts but the fact the analysis was contrary to their position and they were unwilling or unable to sustain their position with similar analysis that was irksome to them. I don't really know and I guess I never really will. but I do know this much that analysis of characters (which we really enjoyed doing - some more passionately than others) and that drew even a lot of silent readers to these type of threads was received very negatively and ridiculed directly or indirectly.

Anyways, seems like I have droned on for a bit.

Please accept my apologies for any misunderstanding on my part about your comment. 😊

hope

😳

Originally posted by: --Hope--

I guess I did misunderstand you and I am really sorry if you felt that I came on too strong or inappropriately strong.

I still have a hangover from the going ons in the forum from the last few months and it has left a sour taste in my mind and I guess I was oversensitive. Sorry about that.

you see I am particularly sensitive when I read comments related to analytical posts and the sentiment ridiculing it. Again, I guess I mistakenly applied this sensitivity to your comment.

My friend Kools, many other forum members like myself who used to post on Kools thread with similar analytical posts constantly felt that the analysis was being ridiculed by others. The irony behind is that the ones ridiculing analytical posts were actually intrigued enough to read them before or inorder to ridicule them. maybe it was not the analytical nature of the posts but the fact the analysis was contrary to their position and they were unwilling or unable to sustain their position with similar analysis that was irksome to them. I don't really know and I guess I never really will. but I do know this much that analysis of characters (which we really enjoyed doing - some more passionately than others) and that drew even a lot of silent readers to these type of threads was received very negatively and ridiculed directly or indirectly.

Anyways, seems like I have droned on for a bit.

Please accept my apologies for any misunderstanding on my part about your comment. 😊

hope

Originally posted by: xyzzee

No worries :-) I totally understand where you are coming from. I know Kools too and enjoy her comments and when people post such posts there are bound to be multiple opinions on this. That tends to get argumentative at times but hey that's when we need to realize this is an open forum where everyone has a right to their opinion.

I have not been too active in IF recently but I used to be during Astitva and I was very passionate about some serials then and would over analyze so to speak all characters, etc. My parents who were visiting used to get quite alarmed and told me not to overanalyze ficititious characters since it was getting me all worked up😳. So, now that I am slowly getting back to IF/Serial mode, I remember my parents' suggestion from then and I am afraid that I will once again start getting worked up and have to keep reminding myself not to and do so by putting it down in writing.😆

Also, written communication can always be misconstrued:-) I know I do so so many times. That's why we undertake so many training sessions on corporate written communication but that's never all encompassing😊. So no problem at all on your misunderstanding, glad we have it all sorted out now.

Can I call u something other than your user name😳

when i joined this forum I came for the updates - aarti used to do it back then.😃

I chanced upon Kools Commentary because I found the name catchy 😳 after reading her commentary which was beyond hilarious at the time I started laughing out so loud in the office and this was very odd because professionally my persona is very stoic. After that I was hooked and used to come daily as a silent reader. Not only did I find the commentary hilarious but the the comraderie of the regulars on the thread was so pleasing. My hubby had cautioned me strictly about not posting any opinions as forums are addictive and for many days I did not and then I read something that I thought was factually incorrect and so I decided to log on to just clarify the fact and I justified it in my mind that I was not analyzing just clarifying a fact so it was ok I was not one of THEM😃 and then Kools commented back and asked me for my opinion I think. she was so nice I could not refuse. one thing led to another and before I knew it I was one of THEM😳😆😆😆.

Hubby of course gave me the "I told you so" and then in laws gave me all the " your going to go psycho if you keep it up" 😳 - but the fact of the matter is that its like joining an e-book club. you give an opinion just because you're there and you want to socalize. besides it is human nature to analyze every action, emotion, relationship, coincidence and circumstance we encounter - we are trained to in the current educational system - it is just that some of us have better discipline over voicing our opinions as opposed to others😆

anyways hope to see you and your opinions on this thread and the forum whether I agree with them or not😃 with that I better stop or mods might enforce the chatting rules on this thread😃

Hope

Originally posted by: --Hope--

Can I call u something other than your user name😳

when i joined this forum I came for the updates - aarti used to do it back then.😃

I chanced upon Kools Commentary because I found the name catchy 😳 after reading her commentary which was beyond hilarious at the time I started laughing out so loud in the office and this was very odd because professionally my persona is very stoic. After that I was hooked and used to come daily as a silent reader. Not only did I find the commentary hilarious but the the comraderie of the regulars on the thread was so pleasing. My hubby had cautioned me strictly about not posting any opinions as forums are addictive and for many days I did not and then I read something that I thought was factually incorrect and so I decided to log on to just clarify the fact and I justified it in my mind that I was not analyzing just clarifying a fact so it was ok I was not one of THEM😃 and then Kools commented back and asked me for my opinion I think. she was so nice I could not refuse. one thing led to another and before I knew it I was one of THEM😳😆😆😆.

Hubby of course gave me the "I told you so" and then in laws gave me all the " your going to go psycho if you keep it up" 😳 - but the fact of the matter is that its like joining an e-book club. you give an opinion just because you're there and you want to socalize. besides it is human nature to analyze every action, emotion, relationship, coincidence and circumstance we encounter - we are trained to in the current educational system - it is just that some of us have better discipline over voicing our opinions as opposed to others😆

anyways hope to see you and your opinions on this thread and the forum whether I agree with them or not😃 with that I better stop or mods might enforce the chatting rules on this thread😃

Hope

Ha, ha, good story and similar story to mine - though minute details differ😊. But I think many of us are dragged in in similar situations...😆 You can call me anything, name's Pallavi:-)