Guide to Parenting by Shilpa Sharma MESSAGE pg37 - Page 30

Originally posted by: a little faith

I beseech God for good results. I will keep on beseeching you for wisdom.

Step 9 ' FUN!

The most important rainbow you can give your 'child' who is now an adult is freedom of his heart, mind, body and soul. By caging them, you only inhibit their verdant growth and primrose fun! This is one thing, most parents fail to understand. i am one lucky girl, whose parents don't. But yeah, I've seen many of my friends' struggling with their parents coz of their irrational strictness. No, I simply don't say that the child should be let free to do whatever he/she wants to. because I can't ignore the fact that you must listen to your parents. Not coz they are always right, but because they have more experiences of being wrong than you.(Ah its a stolen line.. nevertheless very true.) But yeah, i do say that a child needs share a very amiable and friendly relation with their parents.

The more you realise your parents are caging you, or are very strict with you, the more you want to rebel.. and I don't blame the child. Its very human to do so. So, according to me, its always wise to provide only a little finger to your child for support. The day the parents provide that one whole hand for support, the child gets paralyzed. I am sorry for going on and on..

{Lesson 9 By Mayank. Do not be deluded by the term 'free-time'. There is nothing 'free' about time. It is one of the most valuable commodities you own. It is you who decides the price at which you barter it.}Very well said!! This is the thought of the day for me.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yW82uNUCzs[/YOUTUBE]

I do not doubt that Mayank played at least 'a little' with some child hood friends, or maybe I do. I am in the league. However one truth remains as distinct as black and white, Shilpa Aunty has always been his best friend and his best play mate.Yeah!

Unlike the majority of real and pallid mothers, Shilpa Aunty sincerely encourages blue Mayank to free himself from the shade of his house and colourfully imbue himself with others on this most golden of days. She understands the silver truth behind the blanched phrase, 'If you love something, set it free...'

Even on your days off, a mother's duty never ends. Very True. I sometimes feel sad for my mother. She juggles work and house so efficiently that she doesn't give me a reason to but I am not blind. I do notice how much she goes through for us..And more than sad, its gratitude and pride that I feel for her. A heavy heart weighs upon a yellowing mind, echoed in what Tamana mam later advises him; that although it is advisable to speak with your mind engaged, it is essential to release your heart's gilded thoughts. It is.. yeah!! I agree.

Shilpa's Aunty uses all that surrounds Mayank to initiate play; the fluid oil, the solid paper and finally the airy, ethereal colour! I love how both Shilpa Aunty's pure white actions and words freely flow through into the next scene, phase and step. Shilpa Aunty has always done her motherly duties effortlessly and efficiently and it makes me want to salute her with all my might!!

Her actions remind him that playing, having fun is an important way to express your rosy love to your loved ones. She brings citrus colour into his two-toned life, so that he may learn how to share its zest with other's too.

Her words remind him of life's important lesson, 'Nothing is impossible except living in the past!' Sabah, I've put this line of yours as a wallpaper in my cellphone.. Its just so inspirational that whenever I look at my cellphone, I feel a new energy flowing through me altogether..

I really can't thank you enough for making this thread, Sabah!

love,

Akansha

Step 10

Sabah,

I really don't have many words to express the smile this step brought on my face…Its the gentle and subtle way with which Shilpa Aunty proves to be an ideal parent to Mayank. Mothers always amaze me.They have this annoying habit of doing little little things without the things being known to the world. yet, when the child grows up, he proves his parentage.

It amazes me sometimes, about Shilpa Aunty having so much faith in the young love. Cause we all know for a fact that young love doesn't last for long. I am talking in the most probable terms, but yeah as you said, probability doesn't exist. It's either a yes or a no.

Most parents don't approve of their child's relationship at this age here in our Indian culture and I can't deny that they aren't completely wrong. No parent is able to put that blind faith in their children, simply because they know it's a cruel and a harsh world. I am sorry for an extremist view, but here I do feel that Shilpa Aunty turns out to be a little fictitious character. Nevertheless, she is ideal. But I don't think idealism exists anywhere in the world. It's just the "human" that exists. I don't know if this view of mine is right or wrong. Because I lack the experience and I am immature. Whatever I've said is on the basis of what I've witnessed between my friends and their parents. I still haven't had the tryst with my parents regarding this issue, simply cause I've never had myself in a situation like this. But, If I do find myself in such a situation, i expect my parents to be supportive, yet not blindly supportive.

But I simply can't deny that Shilpa Aunty's grace can melt a stone-hearted person. And I love her for that.

I am sorry if my view has been very unfathomable… But yeah, I can't help my immaturity if it is so..

Love,

Akansha

I beseech God for stability. I still still beseech you for wisdom.

Step Eleven ' Merry-go-rounds!

No parent's inner child can resist a spin upon a merry-go-round. True..

{Step Eleven By Mayank. Be warned, riding on a merry-go-rounds with your mother is just as dangerous as dancing with a bear. You may make the decision to dance, it is only the bear who decides when you stop.} Ah! i can sympathise with Mayank. your mother always has the last word.. cause in the end she is your MOTHER!! (Kyunki woh maa hain, MAA!)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipMxNdwd4hA[/YOUTUBE]

Vaishnavi and Arjun both excelled themselves far beyond that sparkle, far above that rainbow and far into that endearing light that they had already accustomed us to witnessing with memorising delight.Applause👏

Most parents would have taken this opportunity to quite righteously lay down laws, belittle egos and burst their child's bubbles. However Shilpa Aunty shows us why she is such a wonderful mother and why Mayank is the exceptional man that he has become as an adult. She overlooks his mistake, for she knows 'who' her son is, she trusts her upbringing and him. Instead she focuses upon the pivotal point and investigates in a 'roundabout' way. Ah, Sabah, my step 10 views seem to be melting now!!!! And i've come to agree to the fact that Shilpa Aunty CAN exist in reality. Ofcourse, she can!!

She pushes off this merry-go-round at a gentle pace, slowly caressing Mayu's head and that special sass of hers, also known as Smart Alec Sharma Sarcasms, lulling him into a false sense of security before she begins a whirl of tortuous discursiveness.

"maa yeh mera sir, patthar ke tera baari kyu lagra hai?"

"itna sab bara hua hai isme, shahid isliye?...yah phir'kal tumne jo piyli the, shahid uska asar hora hoga, kyu?"

Then frightened by life's turning of events, Mayank unwittingly grabs hold of Shilpa Aunty's merry-go-round in hope of relief, only for it to swirl and twirl into a whirligig!

Arjun's and Vaishnavi's impeccably timing and execution of this intricate script is exemplary! The words on paper are quite nominal but they give them winding weighty worth!

Until dizziness outside of Mayank's head is more than that which is reverberating inside his head, he jumps off the ride!

"Jab app samej gaye hoon, toh pooch kare hoon kyu?"

However Shilpa Aunty has already created a vortex and with one simple turn effortlessly pulls Mayank back through the back draft!

"vo toh maine kisse ko promise kiya tha'ke tumse pyar se baat karongi"

Then slowly, slowly Shilpa Aunty begins to spin faster and faster, until Mayank is back where he left off'turning in a twitter!

"Haan, linken vo nahin jot um sooch re hai ho"

Maa, mein kya sooch ra ha hoon

Wahin, jo tumare umar ke ladke sooch the hai

Aur mere umar ke ladki jo sooch the hai, vo tum kisse pata?

Kyun ke mein maa hoon'MAA!

Maa! Mera ser waise ghomrey, tum aur mat ghomrou, Please! Ah!!!! I had my head spinning from the merry go round!! I can't describe in words how much I feel close to Mayank in this case. My mother always seems to be catching me off guard and pulling me into a merry-go-round whose reigns are always under her control. Nevertheless I love the ride. It never fails to vocalize the unsaid words.."I love you a lot, my child" "I love you too Mummy'"

As he collapses his spinning head within which lies his revolving mind driven by his tumultuous heart, he fails to grasp what Shilpa Aunty understands so well; that the chaos of our lives is incomparable to the revolutions of the earth, which orbits the blazing sun, which spins within its galaxy which is expanding into the universe. Either accept the turns and twists or prepare yourself for vertigo! Sabah.. this is another line going into the file named.."Words of Wisdom" on my pc.. I dun noe how many times I am going to say this.. but yeah..lemme put it differently I am loving this journey with you..

Love,

akansha

Originally posted by: a little faith

I seek the help of God.

I beseech you for wisdom, again..(This line can never become over-rated!!)

Step Twelve - Reciprocation.

A parent's expectation of reciprocation lies no further than that smile the child wears across his heart! *smiles*

{Lesson Twelve By Mayank. The action of reciprocation is governed by the law of proportionality. An eye for an eye OR a pearl for a pearl. A generous person might return twice as much, maybe even threefold.

However the law of proportionality is not only inadequate but borders upon insolent in one instance; that is when it relates to your mother's love.}This is so so true. Its uncanny how some laws which define the world don't hold true with mothers. Isn't it a signal from the almighty.. That mothers are always unique and special. very special!!

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcBCHSXNEcs[/YOUTUBE]

I love the manner in which despite her long day, feeling very much under the weather, she sincerely smiles upon greeting Mayank at the door. No chastisement over the ration bill, no using her ill health as an excuse to wear a permanent frown. She bears in mind the reason she bears with life's trials; her son's happiness. I can imagine how difficult it can be for her to smile despite the bad day at work. But still i don't think she is TRYING to smile. Believe me, its always a relief to come back home to your family after a tiring day and you really can't help the smile. its as if something abstract digs its fingers in your cheeks to lighten up your face with that smile. It might be so difficult to stay alone right?

On a personal note, I have always loved it when a person takes another's bag and belongings; to me it signifies a physical manifestation of their tacit intent, to bear the burdens of their beloved. Loved the interpretations. i especially love it when few actions convey the meaning to your meaningless life.Meaningless if these actions weren't there....

Mayank essays the role of 'parent' once again but is unable to maintain this position for long before being returned to the place that not only suits him best, but that place his heart craves to rest; little Mayu to his mom! That oh! so cute, child-like and sullen face!!! I have heard that when parents grow old, their children become parents for them. Its heart-breaking to see children leaving their parents in old-age homes. But for these scenes that deserve to be shown to each and every individual to make them realise the importance of those people in your life, who have given up everything just for that one smile on your face. And when I see Shilpa Aunty and Mayank, my heart leaps over for them.

"Mou poulat ke bait mat jaana..ke maine itnay pyar se banaya aur tumnay kaiya bhi nahin!"

In the scene previous to this, Mayank announces to CJ his intention to 'delete' his mind and reset himself to 'original' Mayank. He commences this defragmentation by prioritizing his life's duties, firstly his Mother and secondly his studies. However his failure to these responsibilities is not the real reason for that morose face; his heart aches along with his mother's head.

I love that fact that even in her ill health, Shilpa Aunty's 'sass' remains ebullient as ever!

"Maanat ka pal meetha hota hai..pata nahin tum itnay kurvey hoga ho!"Shilpa Aunty never loses her touch!! How can she when she can never stop loving her "Mayu".

I love the similarities between this scene and the earlier scene with CJ. There CJ and here Mayank both listen to truthful untruths. Both CJ and Mayank do not outwardly scoff at the speaker's comments. There, CJ knows one cannot hide from love, however I also believe that she knows that Mayank knows this fact too, she knows he is not deluded, thereby only a mild look of ludicrousness at Mayank's intents.

Here Mayank lets Shilpa Aunty's retirement plan trump his part time job, not because he believes her words, and I also believe that Shilpa Aunty knows that he does not believe her too, BUT he does believe that he will make her words become truth! I wish I'd be a good child like Mayank to my parents.

It is love in both the scenes that bind the untruths to future truths.

Once again we are honoured to witness the graceful beauty of Vaishnavi and Arjun, as Mayank 'nurses' his mother back from the brink of tension!

Then that call from destiny to Mayank, reminding him that it is not in his hand to create the ties that bind. That confusion with an added layer of chaos; had Mayank become Rosaline to Nupur's Romeo? I love how the writers scripted, Nupur's straight to the point phone call, no formal greetings cutting immediately to that first perceptively intruding question!

That irrepressible smile creeping over 'focused' Mayank's face, mind and heart signifying a deep truth; although for most men the way to their heart is through their stomachs, for Mayank is not! Surprisingly it is neither through his mind. For Mayank, the way to this heart is through this heart.

The queen of his heart has always been Shilpa Aunty. Her generosity makes ample room in that most guarded and distinctly remarkable vessel for Nupur. Here again, a very good point Sabah..Its very important, I believe to give your son and daughter in law that space, that vessel.. This generous spirit of Shilpa Aunty's suffuses Mayank's soul, saturating him, deep into his core so that all his actions are imbued by it. For when he warns Nupur not to come crying to him when things fail upon her, it is his who returns to her; when destiny interrupts his sincere and goodly life's goals with a road block, he routes out a new scenic journey; when Bauji thrusts upon him the 'burden' of love, he adjusts the scales and finds therein balance. Its Shilpa Aunty's generous and subtle parentage that gives Mayank the strength to sail through the worst of the storms!!

This is how Shilpa Aunty's radiance lights up Mayank's soul. This is the truth of goodness, love and light; it overflows through our sinews, veins and blood, overwhelming our souls and cores looking for new avenues to freely flow upon; so that when it is our turn to reciprocate it is never proportional but exponential. *smiles, big ones*

Love,

Akansha

I'd check the step 13 tomorrow.. runnin outta time.. sorry...

akansha

Originally posted by: champakiran

Step 2
Hi Sweet Sabah,
Finally got to Step 2 :) I had read it earlier - but needed a bit of time to reply. kiran...I finally made it too. I am so sorry for asking for so much grace...
Hmm... love both the scenes you put in there. Every time I see the earlier scenes - I have to say - Those were the glorious days :) True...however the tragedy is that I truly believe that NOT all things must fade, wither and diminish! Truly, if our intentions stay true, then so do our results! Did we corrupt the creators..society...or success?
The scene between Shilpa Aunty and Mayu highlights so many of the small things of life. How life has a tendency to come full circle - where children start behaving in the parental manner and parents accept the child's admonishments - of course it all is based on love. But it is funny how parents get older, children seem to behave as if they know better and parents let them be - saving their admonishments for stuff that really matters. seriously, it really saddens me to see children belittling their parents as if they taught themselves. Can we ever repay one act of kindness of our parents' love? Ask an orphan! It reminds me of that story of the man yelling at his mother about her asking him the same question three or four times, only to remember his mother's sacrificing years of her life teaching him, words, alphabets, language, how to clean himself..how easily we forget!And we see that in this scene - Mayu scolding his mom on leaving the breadcrumbs - and she's good naturedly accepting the rebuke!! He looks at her semi-sternly "Maa" and she's like "Kya zabardasti hai" - Life is all about loving your parents - and you see that in this scene. In Mayu's behavior - I see a son who knows he's loved - and loves his Mom right back - and she knows also that she's blessed to have a son who is so caring and loves her - and you see that reflected in her calm demeanour - for parents a kid's success is their success and in Shilpa's case - so far her Mayu has accomplished more than she could have ever hoped for - he's her shining star - and has her full faith, trust, and love - and she knows that given the fact that she's a single parent it's phenomenal - since a single parent child can turn out to be a very emotionally disturbed child - as we see in our society every day - but Mayu is a very well balanced child in so many ways. Kiran, this is just beautiful! 👏👏👏⭐️⭐️That reciprocation of love. You highlighted the most precious point, that look of love in both their eyes, to say that I am here for you...because of you...always for you...
And then Shilpa switches to the role of the parent - saying I'll be coming to your college - before Mayu even says anything - one starts thinking - "Oh oh - Mom in college!!" - What's Mayu going to do now?? 😆 😆 But then he mentions Nupur. Love the way - Shilpa is not directly asking for any information - but she's all ears to any that Mayu lets out inadvertently - and that's how she pounces on the name "Nupur" - aha the girl has a name - and love the way she sort of says the name - kind of letting it roll on her tongue - you can almost feel the wheels churning in her mind - "Nupur - a girl in my son's life - how do I feel about that"! It's strange to hear a parent asking her son to concentrate on something other than studies - so often we hear parents say "Study study" - I think my mom used to say that 24/7 - but guess I wasn't that great a student as Mayu!! You can see how slow I am - I have only reached Step 2!! 😆😆 Kiran....Mayu puts all to shame! 😳I love the fact that the creators actually gave us a source for the torrent of fresh verve! his mother! How naturally apt....poignant in a sociey that says, you are what you are...DESPITE your parents....
We realize how well Shilpa knows her son when she gives him the advice on taking it easy on Nupur! She knows how her son can behave - and gives the indirect advice - using the bread crumbs as an analogy - a master stroke I must say!! This was just inspired!And she's feeding him oranges - in a very natural manner - which should be as it is - as she's done that all her life - and he's also accepting with ease - but that effectively shuts him up as she imparts her advice - forcing him to listen - Kiran...this is why i cannot miss you words,..those niches in crevices that might be glossed over or even lost to even most perceptive hearts! Thank you!!!!!👏Can't really talk with your mouth full!! That's what parents do - they take these everyday situations and incidents and turn them as conduits of advice. She makes him realize that everyone cannot be perfect in everything - not even him - even if he strives for perfection!! And then kudos for Mayank - that he understands his Mom's message so well and implements it beautifully!! I have often heard parents say - you have to keep giving that advice again and again - till the child picks it up - in Mayu's case once is all that is needed!! To learn from your own mistakes is prudent BUT to learn from preventative advice is just extraordinarily exceptional! love the final scene where she just ruffles his hair and gives her parting advice and is outta there - And Mayu is too busy mulling over her advice - to have the chance to protest on her messing his hair - but he still automatically puts his hands to his hair to protect it!!Habit...I applaud Arjun and Vaishnavi they make 'actions' look like habits! That is rare talent indeed!
And of course the scene with Nupur - my all time favs - where Nupur has to pinch herself to make sure that this is the same guy she has been dealing with - he seems to have suddenly changed his colors - who is she to protest - especially when it's working out in her favor! As you so correctly point out Sabah - she can see the result but not the cause - and she's the beneficiary of Shilpa's advice!!True, sometimes we forget that just as life affects us in between meeting with others, they too are affected...we should always be open to the possibility of positive change...unfortunately so many of us WANT that cause without understanding the due etiquette needed, step one...followed by step two...NOT vice versa!
Thanks for a lovely look down memory lane!! Your posts are always so thoughtful and touching - and force us all to think and reevaluate our priorities!! Thank you for that!! ⭐️kiran, sorry for my spareness of reply...times are quite hard...my words are filling up creatives inboxes in last minute attempts of survival..Just like Nupur, they don't realise that the cause is these precious memories which live on eternal...that will always remain once the pain of the aftermath is gone...all they see are the 'obsessive' if not inexplicable results!
Love,
KiranLove that returns such undeserving attention! I loved all your words...but most of all that description in blue!

Originally posted by: ak12

Love,

akansha

Originally posted by: ak12

I really can't thank you enough for making this thread, Sabah!My pleasure...your reply is reward enough...which was already brimming over from witnessing Shilpa Aunty's love...so truly to accept thanks would be shameful...😳All credit to the beautiful character of Shilpa Aunty...whose light remains within us in her absence.! Even growing brighter by the day...now that is remarkable!

love,

AkanshaLove returned, Sabah😳