archives of CK by Roja - Page 6

IF Tamil Serials' Fans' Lounge

The lounge is teeming with activity. All are busy with preparations for the trip to Heaven. It was decided unanimously that Roja, Jas, Ho, Sue, Serial, Kavitha, Caryn and Tamil will go to the heaven. It all started with Roja going to the heaven to meet Newton. Ever since she came back, there has been a riot going on. As usual, Roja acts innocent but is deliriously happy about the unrest she has created.

(NASA is busy with a totally bizarre finding. Their radars sensed a flip on 3rd July 2007 which got ignored as all were getting ready to enjoy Fourth July celebrations. An young engineer, John Doe was on duty and made an entry in the log book. His supervisor looked thro' it the next day and ignored it. But, this morning there is a confidential report from FBI about some UFOs. The UFO stories have been going on and on for a long time but none of them can be ignored. Verification and ruling out is essential. The FBI brief said that some new kind of space shuttles are likely to flood the sky and they are faster than light!!! Again, this defies the basic rules of Physics and they are breaking their heads over this issue. John Doe is woken up by the shrilling of his mobile and is asked to rush to the center. The Boss is waiting to get more details about the flip he saw.)

Roja and Jas are the only ones who are not getting in to elaborate preparations. Roja is confident that she will be taken care of and Jas is more confident that her ghost avtar is the password for entry in to the gates of heaven.

Sue has baked a fruit cake – her father's favourite dish and has her list of complaints ready. Mr.Nair is jittery about the contents of the list – he knows that his FIL loves his daughter more than anything in the world and with powers acquired from the heaven, he would only be more equipped to dole out punishments.(Mr.Nair is relieved to know that his FIL does not know Usha, the greatest punisher of the forum!!) Also, he heard about how Thols got threatened in his dream and was made to change the story line – Abbi agrees to marry again but she refused the choice of mommy dearest!!! She chose the "Abi mad" doctor who has become half mad treating just one patient – Karthik!!! If this is not threatening.. then what is???? Mr.Nair is consulting "bomos" to save his skin!!! Sue has a "Roja gleam" in her eyes which matches the gold bangles presented by hubby for her B'day.

Ho is all set with her letter for Mr.Megala – the scheming MIL of Dhanam. She has applied for leave for 3 days, packed her backpack and is ready.

(Sriharikota, ISRO, also caught this flip in their radars and the scientists have been working over time to unravel the mystery. NASA confirmed about this signal and the Indian scientists have had a restless week. It was just a flip – no more, no less. Now, NASA has shared the FBI warning with them – some thing more is in the anvil and beware!!!!)

Serial is also ready. She conned Roja in to taking her along by crying and by claiming that she was the first to register for Roja's next trip. She has been working too hard and needs a break.

Kavitha is ready too – she has her kitchen kit ready. She wants to cook all the delicacies liked by her grand parents – they love her cooking and she cant wait to boast. Her bag is the heaviest – she is hiding it from Roja, lest she is made to leave it behind. " I go only if my bag goes" is what is going on in her mind!!!

(Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency (JAXA) has more info on the flip of 3^rd July. They have a description of the object. It looked very much like a human, had some cloth covering, spread like an eagle and was fast. Destination – unknown.)

Caryn has nothing much to carry – her mind is all set on sight seeing. " Fragrant flowers, crystal clear streams, melodious music hmmmmm …… need to check these out, cant believe whatever Roja says …."

Tamil is ready with her bow and arrows. Her dress is so much like what Oorvasi and Ramba of heaven would be wearing – she is practicing a few dance steps as well – what if the Gods say " yaar ange , nadanam aarambam aagattum" – she does not want to be left out.

( to be continued)

(part 2 - friends, pls keep your fingers crossed -
hope to finish in the third. if not..... a 4th???)

Atina is busy with shifting house and is not aware of all the drama in the lounge. " No news is good news" – Atina believes in this dogma and has not checked with any one about the Lounge. At the back of her mind, she is worried about Roja and her antics – Dasa did mention about the so called "kidnapping"!!!

(European Space Agency (ESA) also sensed the flip but ignored it because it was picked up at a low altitude. Now, with this news from NASA, they are all eyes and ears for the forth coming event (disaster???!!))

Pat is upset about not being able to make it with this group. Her lawyers advised her against such madness. Madhu, Usha . Meli, Rhodes and others are in deep thoughts. " If all goes well, then we can goad Roja in to making another trip with us"!!!

All set now and it is just the question of going to the terrace. Oblivious to all the commotion in all parts of the world, Roja distributes thin walkie talkies for all. The briefing is on for the trip. All are listening with rapt attention.

" OK friends , here are the rules: Every one wears a long flowing dress so that the person next can hold on to it and fly along. I will lead. The line up is like this – Jas, Kavi, Serial, Ho, Sue, Caryn and Tamil – at all times, contact is a must. Clip on yr mikes and never leave the group. After landing at heaven ,you will have 6 hours to wander around but make sure to come back to the gates after that. We will synchronize our watches now, so that we all read the same time. I have a song written for us – all of us must learn that by heart and if any one is lost anywhere, the song should be sung – as loud as possible – until the person joins back. Also, if any of us come to know that one member is lost or hear the song, we should all keep singing the song until the lost member joins the group. This song will be very personal and make sense only to the eight of us. We do not want any other person tagging along with us.

The song goes like this
" Aananda Lakshmi asattu Kasthurikku
sorgathile Muhurthamam,
Kolangal poda Bhandangalode
Arasi and Anjali vanthaaram"
(manikka mookkuthi tune from the old movie muhurtha naal)

Last but not the least NO BAGGAGES. I hope all is clear. If any one has any doubts get it clarified now and we leave" – Roja takes a deep breath and looks around.

Kavi is very angry and raises her hand to ask a question. Roja anticipates the Q and replies " Kavi, heaven has a well equipped kitchen. You will find everything there and you can do what ever u want, ok? And the same applies to you Sue. Bake your cake fresh and feed your father. Any thing else?" All are nodding their heads and learning the song.

(Russian federal Space agency – RKA (Roskosmos) is probably the only one which has the most details on the flip of 3rd July. Their picture shows a woman in faded jeans and an orange T shirt, hands spread like wings and speeding faster than light. Since they could not hand her a speeding ticket then, they are waiting for the return of the flip. Of course, they have not shared this info with any of their counterparts.)

None of the radars caught the same flip coming back to earth on 3rd July!!! With so many space research centers waiting with bated breath, our IF group is all ready for their trip.

Pat is watching all this and asks Roja about ground control. Roja raises her brows and shrugs. " I don't know fully about the control on sky, where is the question of ground control?" – thinks Roja and fortunately there are no mind readers around!!!! All are changing their dresses. Tamil wears a long dress on top of her dance dress – she plans to take it off once she reaches heaven!!

To cut a long story short, the Ashta Lakshmis(AL) take off to heaven from the terrace!!!

RKA is the first to notice - Gruff Russian voices are screaming loud - "Stop, Stop" but our AshtaLakshmis(AL) do not know Russian!! It is another thing that they would not have stopped even if they knew the language!!!

ISRO picks up next and are speechless - 'Oh my God, they are all women and look like Indians!! what do we do now?? shall we just let them go and when they come back claim credit???" The President and Prime Minister are notified immdly. but the AL group is gone far far away!!!

NASA, ESA and JAXA are screaming "may day, may day" - ISRO comes back with " why May day?? no harm done to the earth?" Now, the rest of the world is confused - " is it all planned by ISRO? If so, what are they up to? What ever it is, let us stake our claim on sharing the info they get from these flying objects".

Unaware of the turmoil in "high places" ALs reach the "highest place". The gates are wide open and the group enters the tranquil Heaven.

What next?????

(TBC)

(part 3 - urrr mmmmm, pch pch - there is a 4th part!!!)

Other than Roja, all are speechless. Roja is beaming as if she is the one who designed and erected the heaven all by herself!!! The angels at the entrance give the ALs a welcome drink called "amirtham" – the tired ALs gobble up the drink and get charged – all ready for their sojourn around the heaven!!!

Sue runs to see her father – he is overjoyed to see his darling daughter, hugs her and asks about all the family members. Sue gives graphic details of how the grandkids have grown, mom missing him – she rattles off and forgets the complaints list!!!! Must be the effect of Bomos employed by Mr.Nair. " accha, shall I bake your favourite fruit cake?" - negated by dad – " food is plenty here my dear, lets enjoy our time together, ok?"

Kavi is in tears – her grand parents look healthy and glowing – they hug Kavi and ask about Mother Earth and all family members. Kavi looks up the kitchen, gets to work in her usual efficient manner. The kitchen in the heaven emits appetizing smell attracting a whole load of sorga vasis!!! Kavi is game – she is cooking monumental quantities to feed an army!!!

Caryn is lost in the beauty. "Roja did not lie after all!!! This is Heaven. Some flowers are so different, have not seen them any where!!" – she just floats – literally – as one becomes weightless at that altitude - an added attraction !!!

ISRO and JAXA are cooking up a combined action plan. Round the clock vigil is planned and senior scientists are glued to the telescopes and radar screens. ' No missing out these space women if they surface in the radars again, is that clear?"

NASA and ESA are thinking of imposing sanctions – " hit where it hurts" is their policy!!!

Roja goes to thank Uppi and Ranju – She sees Tamil having a hushed conversation (too many muted scenes in the serials cause this particular syndrome - "Mime syndrome"!!) Roja tries to eavesdrop but Tamil is so good at this syndrome that lipreading is the only way out to decipher!!!! But Roja is sure that it is something to do with Thols and Kolangal – "kahrikai muthinaal kadaikku varathene venum!!"

Jas is stunned. The angels did very little modification on her avtar and turned her into one of them!!! One angel laughs –" we have had a few serial characters coming in here and we did get enough training in makeovers!! Add a bindi, color the hair, add a beard or wear a sickly contacts – you are a new you". Jas is aghast – talk about corrupting the Heaven!!!

Ho is sitting near Mr.Megala and narrating all her woes about his wife and daughter. The man listens patiently and smiles – "now u know why I chose to change my living quarters!!" Ho wants him to do some thing about this and he is in deep thoughts. Ho asks " what if we tell them that the child Thanam carries is you and u are waiting to get back to them?" The man gives a pitying look at Ho – " do u realize that might make her more mad??!!! She never had any respect for me while I was alive. She would rather have a reincarnation of herself so that she can start life all over again and better her performance!!" Ho looses her tongue and that possibility gives her the creeps.

Serial is clueless. Her avtar is greatly appreciated by all in the heaven. " You must be saying this many times in a day and the Gods are pleased to hear such open admiration. Nothing works like flattery – You will reap the benefits of your avtar all thro' your life"
Serial kku thoppai, manasu ellam ice cold aagi vittathu – life le ithai vida vera enna blessing venum??

Well with Roja around such serenity will not last long. Suddenly , all hear their ID song being sung. They recognize Roja's voice. What??? Roja is lost???? Rules demand that the rest of the group should start singing and so they start. The great singer M.S. Subbulakshmi is sitting in one corner and she hears this chorus. She is trying hard to close her ears but the damn song seems to seep thro' her skin!!!! She runs and lands in a cave where Mr.Newton is hiding. So, that's 2 subjects in hiding – Physics and music!!! Newton smiles at MSS and says " what took u so long??"


(TBC)

(final part)

St.Peter is looking for Newton. He scans with his "Gyana Dhirshti" and spots the cave. He rushes there and asks Newton about Roja and her gang. Newton gives a knowing smile. " I told u to close the gates when she came alone. You talked about ethics and rules. She is back with a gang now. Looks like all of them are " serial bitten" humans – serial bite is worse than a snake bite. Also, this Roja took it up on herself to defy Physics a la Tamil cinemas, coaxed her friends to do that as well. Now they are on to music – how are u going to save the heaven? I am not getting out of here until the coast is clear."

St. Peter is lost in thoughts. As he moves along, he sees all the residents floating towards the play ground. He also changes course and floats to the ground. The AL s are in the center and some kind of stage show is on. Tamil has removed her flowing gown and is seen with her Ramba-Oorvasi dress. She is dancing for the song " Manmatha raasa" and the original Manmathan deserts his wife Rathi to join Tamil in her dance. Ramba and Oorvasi are fuming out of their ears and nose!!!

Kavitha , Serial, Caryn and Ho are distributing Pongal/vadai with chutney and sambar. The aroma is overwhelming and St.Peter joins the queue. Jas, Sue and Roja are laughing out loud – what a day???? Heaven has never been this noisy – heaven forbid!!!

Ho suddenly remembers her camera and starts shooting only to be stopped by Mr.Megala. " we are all athmas here and so you can not catch us in film. The secrets of heaven should not be disclosed and so even if u keep clicking, your film will be blank." ALs are disappointed – other IF members wont believe their "heaven stories"!!!

It is time to get back to IF lounge. The sorga vasis are sad to see ALs leaving but all good(bad??) things must come to an end. ALs take "priya vidai" ( if any of u think of aanandam Priya and thayir vadai, the writer is not responsible!!) from the residents and get ready to fly back. Long flowing dresses are back, the line up is observed and Roja starts the count down – 1, 2, 3 …… the ALs begin their journey back.

The first radar to pick up the signal is ISRO. The scientists try to make contact with ALs but fail to do so. How do u catch someone/something which is faster than light??? ISRO seeks the help of JAXA – they are just able to use their cameras and take pictures – only the backs are seen, the faces are looking down!!! NASA and ESA bull doze their counterparts in vain. RKA has a break through – They have Roja's face – but the world will never see it – RKA believes in absolute secrecy with regard to their findings. Roja might get a visit soon from KGB and end up in Siberia …. Who knows????

( over , at last!!!)

IF Tamil Serials' Fans' Lounge.

Atina is still absent. She is busy with shifting house.
But, she posts pics for Bhandham - a big favour for all
those who do not watch the serial but follow up the updates.
She still has no clue about Roja's kidnapping, ALs visiting the
heaven, Roja's prison break etc., etc., When she comes, she
is definitely in for a shock!!

Meli is very busy sending PMs asking for volunteers
to update Lakshmi and Anjali. She is all set for her
long awaited holidays - Dad has promised a lot of things
and she cant wait to make hay while the sun shines!!

Rhodes is seen in the lounge with her long dress - she has
expressed her desire to Roja - " Heaven, here I come" -
she does not know yet that Roja will not let her fly now
and has different plans!!!

Sue is going through Mr.Nair's bank statements - how much
was paid to the Bomohs, if u translate that to cost per gram of
gold how many bangles could be bought etc., etc., The heaven
trip has done some thing to her, she is yet to stand straight -
" che, how did I miss reading out the complaints' list to accha??
This Nair guy did add some potion in to my chaya!! I should try
to go to heaven all by myself and do things with out Roja around
to mess up......"

Pat is very happy - Muhurtham is ending, Kalyani comes to
know the disgusting fact about Rukku/Gannu, the guessing game
"who is Durga?" is on. well.. Pat could not ask for any thing more
right now.... she is humming "Viduthalai, viduthalai, viduthali."

Ho pestered her hubby to buy her a mini fridge - she is convinced
that RKA will send Roja to Siberia. She has a pact with Jas for
an insulated suit - her feet need to be tempered for the climate
and so the mini fridge - her tolerance is getting better and better.
" I will do an emotional blackmail and tag along with Roja for the
Siberian expedition!!! What if Santa is there??!" She does not
realise that Roja is dreading the possibility - when RKA decides
to send any one to Siberia, it is a one way ticket!!!

Tamil is missing in action at the lounge. Her dance in the
heaven was greatly appreciated by all the swarga vaasis.
Looks like a few of them made it a point to appear in the
dreams of various club secretaries and talk about the "Heavenly"
dance. Tamil's phone has not stopped ringing since then!!!
Hubby is seriously considering to quit his job and assist Tamil
as her manager. Her "Ramba-Oorvasi" dress also got a mention
and so she has ordered for 100 such dresses - her tailor has
decided to retire after executing this order - his retirement
fund is swelling!!!

Usha has a brand new set of punishments ready. The demand
is really high these days. By now, all in the lounge know her unique
ways of dealing with sloppy serial characters and directors. There
is a "Pokkiri" around who is also good at doling out punishments -
Usha is still unable to decide whether it is an assistance or competition!!!

Kavi is sitting in one corner and is lost in thoughts. The pongal
and vadai she made in the heaven tasted "heavenly"!!! The raw
materials, water, utensils, oven .... everything was really good
and gave an added flavour. " Roja akka kitte kettu epdiyavathu
athe mathiri oru kitchen with all the materials inge establish
pannikkanum, loved cooking there.... my grand parents loved
that food.... Siberia le epdi irukkum?? Roja akka voda namum pogalaama???!!!"

Serial is very busy but she read about the ALs flight to heaven.
She defied Physics better than ALs!! Just by reading the narration,
she developed wings and flew to work!!!! "wait till Newton hears
this, he will be looking for deeper caves and shun even the company
of M.S.Subbulakshmi..."

Jas on the other hand is confident that she is going with Roja.
" huh, what will Roj do if I am not there to translate? Also,
every day Roj boasts about filter coffee and makes me turn
into all the possible colors of the rainbow - it will be nice to see
her begging for coffee, I will translate coffee as Vodka and it
will be fun to watch Roj ... " thinks Jas with a smile in her face.

Well where is Roja?? So many are dreaming about the
Siberian trip with well laid plans et al... Roja is missing...
Did RKA arrest her?? KGB found her??? where is she?????

The lounge door suddenly bangs and Roja enters. She has
some one along with her - an older lady who has a crystal ball
in her hands......

(TBC)

(continuation)

Roja seats the woman in a comfortable sofa and
the woman places her crystal ball on the coffee
table. Roja mumbles some thing to that woman
and the lady has a big smile on her face. The
ball suddenly glows and the lounge is filled
with a blinding light.

Every one gets excited , throw away the thoughts
of the Siberian trip and assemble around the old
lady. All are talking at the same time and the
old lady looks up to Roja and says some thing
in a strange language. Roja nods in agreement
and calls for order.

"Friends, Pls meet Mdm. Dogoodtoall. She comes
from Hahaha land and speaks Hahahian. She has a
crystal ball which knows the future and can answer
queries about the future. Only one question per
person and I will translate the answer, ok?"

All are curious now. How does Roja know that
language??? What if she plays practical jokes???
How can her translation be trusted?? Any thing
concerning Roja must be taken with a pinch of salt......

Roja senses this apprehension and explains -
" Remember the days we used to fly in PAR 172
to Hahaha land?? Some of you are new now but
I am sure all of you know about those trips.
While all the others were busy discussing serials
and updating, I ended up learning their language.
I was suffering from MSSS and had no idea about
Tamil serials!!"

Every one is convinced now and want to pose very
difficult questions - Mdm.Dogoodtoall is smiling
all through the conversation - she does not follow
a word of English!!!

Rhodes gets to ask first - " I am pregnant now, can
u tell me the sex of my baby?" Roja to Mdm.D and
Mdm.D says some thing and touches the ball - the light
glows inside the ball and Mdm.D reads the answer.
Roja announces " it is a boy" and Rhodes is pleased.
She already knows that and wanted to check the crystal
ball. She gives the thumbs up signal and the rest
are raking their brains to come up with tough Qs.

All except Roja have a hushed meeting and decide to ask
questions on Tamil serials!!!

Serial: " When will ACD and Priya get married?"
The ball rolls, flips, moves from left to right and finally
glows with an answer. " At the 3594 th episode.
ACD and Priya will directly celebrate Shashti aptha Poorthi -
60th B'day/wedding."

Ho: " When will Vaathu come to know the true creep and
throw him out of her life?" The ball does more flips, jumps
off the table, hits Mdm.D twice and finally glows with the
answer. " At the 984th episode. Rekha's college going son
will explain the truth and she will hear it as if it is being said
for the first time!!"

Pat: " how will Muhurtham end? tragedy or the usual
serial style of all posing with smiles?" The ball does
not think much and the answer glows. " RS family, Ethiraj
family, Gannu family - all will be related by some strange rules
and will end with a smiling family photo."

Meli: " Will Anjali finish her I.A.S and become a collector?"
The ball first turns blue and then to red. Mdm.D has a worried
expression and says some thing to Roja. Roja nods and says
" Meli, the ball is angry, I believe, and refuses to answer."
Meli is diappointed but keeps quiet - her turn is over!!

Tamil: Kolangal - at the end of this serial, will all loose ends
be tied and will justice prevail?" The ball flips and goes round
in circles a few times, hits Mdm.D thrice, gets down from the
coffee table and goes to Roja's ammunition corner - it glows
like crazy and all the ammunition from Roja's cupboard get up
and stand by themselves - the lounge looks like a war zone and
finally the ball hits Tamil on her head!!! Tamil screams and Mdm.D
runs to her rescue. She finally reads the writing inside the ball and
faints!!! Roja musters up courage and reads the ball - " I can only
predict for this Kali Yugam. Your Q exceeds the limit. All of you
run before I bring in all my ghosts...."

Roja carries Mdm.D and runs for her life..... the rest scramble
after her leaving behind Tamil who is still unconscious!!!!!

IF Tamil Serials' Fans' Lounge.

Pat looks slightly dull - After the outburst of Kalyani
(Muhurtham), she expected some more exciting episodes -
The serial is back to its boring self!! The only redeeming feature
is that there is light at the end of the tunnel and she can get out of
updating this pretty soon. Pat is 😍

Sue wanted to go to the Heaven all by herself but Ho told her
that St.Peters changed the lock of the main gate. Sue is yet to
master the art of lock picking - she is in two minds now - "do I
ask Roja or not?" Asking Roja is not a good idea right now
because of 2 reasons - one, Roja will tag along and two - after
teasing Roja with pure non veg recipes, Sue is slightly vary of
going any where near the mad Roja!!!

Ho is absolutely livid with anger - It is not just vaathu but the
whole load of women in Kasthuri are despicable. She refuses to
refer "mommy" as mommy any more - just an old lady!!! And
ofcourse there is always the devil duo - mother and daughter
scheming all the time to kill the DIL of the house - not realising
that their act would only bring unhappiness for the son and they
run the risk of loosing him out if their plan succeeds!!!

Kavitha had a back ache which made her inactive for a while.
She is still not totally out of it but has come to the lounge - she is
relaxing on an easy chair.

Tamil is vexed with the Kolangal group. She tried updating one episode
where Aadhi's women folk staged a badly rehearsed drama and
the lizard Easwaran rendered a sermon to Usha!!! IF "emotions" ran
out of "angry and death" symbols!!! The rest of the IFians are hunting
for those emotions while Tamil has a smug smile!! She found that Sue
shares the same hatred and would shoot the whole gang if given a gun.
Tamil eyes Roja's ammunition corner and decides to "borrow"
when needed!!

Pokkiri is sitting in one corner - his announcement of Kolangal
gaining momentum very soon earned him a few raised eye brows.
He is all set with his punishment regime - "If Thols does not
come back to track and end it soon, I will make him fall at my
feet and beg for his release" - he has a mad gleam which
almost matches Roja's!!!

Usha is also refining her punishments - with Pokkiri for competition,
she has to rake her brain for more innovative tricks!!!

Rhodes looks very happy - she is off Tamil serials!! She just
reads the updates and forgets them immediately. She has a
healthy glow. She is looking forward for her
'Bangle protection" (valaikappu)ceremony. " Kavi will
make fantastic food...... lots of bangles to wear.. siling siling
noise of the bangles... mmm life is good right now"!!!

Rathy has become an "asariri" now - she just peeps in to Aanandam
thread and gives one liners!!! "With parents around to take care of
the kids, no house keeping and cooking to be done... well, India
here I stay" -

Jas is astonished - she casually made a statement saying that
IF would much rather have a mad Roja - "no shy smiles or coy
looks please" - little did she think that it would bring out one more
"maddie" - Tamil has joined Roja in writing CKs!!! Jas finds it
difficult to withdraw her statement - "awww, let me give them some
more time and if things do not get better, I can always chip in and
write more CKs!!!"

Meli must have anticipated all this, she went away for her vacation.
She managed to rope in Gajini/Vikram(Nallu) for Anjali updates.

There is a lull in the lounge but ofcourse Roja is away. She went
to Hahaha land to drop off Mdm.D - poor woman was so shaken
by the crystal ball ghosts that she needed an escort!!! Roja gladly
tagged along thinking " well, this time around I can bring some one
else to the lounge and have a repeat performance!!"

The tranquility is disturbed by a sudden tornado - Roja barges in......
and some one is coming along!!! All eyes turn to see the new comer
and Roja just moves ahead holding the new comer's hand - God, is that
a he or a she??? human or alien? How does Roja manage to pick
such strange creatures?????

(TBC)

(continuation)

The person(??!!) looks totally strange. Has a feline furry body but walks on 2 limbs. Small green eyes - u cant make out if they
are open or closed!! – broad forehead , thin soft hair, around
5 feet in height, pursed lips …… some sight!!! The forehead sports two projections –antennae?? – and at the ends of the projections a small light glows!! One can hear some strange noise coming out of the mouth but the lips are pursed still!! Ventriloquist??? Rojs gives one of her sane smiles – rarely one gets to see this!! – and having some kind of conversation with the….. what do u call that????

Jas is restless. While the rest are scared to go near Roja and her esteemed companion, Jas sheds her apprehension and goes to Roja managing to keep her distance from that. " If Roj is still alive and kicking, I can too" is what is on her mind. Roja remembers that she is in the IF lounge and calls out to all her friends to come closer. All come closer but still are ready to flee if need be!!!

" Hey, I would like u all to meet my friend from Hahaha land – he is Mr. Canseeall. He is a great guy and wanted to visit our lounge. So, I brought him along. This time, all of you are just not going to believe your luck!!! He has some great powers that can….." Roja's
voice is submerged by the "pch pch, tsk tsk" of the rest. Tamil is all awake now – she is not ready for a repetition of Mdm.D's episode.

Pokkiri gets all geared up – he is new to Roja's antics - he is very sportive and shakes hands with Mr.C. "welcome Mr.C, can u demonstrate your special powers?" - well, this guy sure does not believe in beating around the bush!!! Mr.C says something with his lips still pursed tight and Pokkiri is looking all over to locate the source of that noise!!! Roja translates: " He wants you to think of any serial that you like and also think of how you want to see that. In short, you write the story and you will see the serial exactly the way you want".

Tamil and Jas chuckle – which translates as : " paavam intha Pokkiri. Enna paadu pada pogiratho??"

But Pokikiri is all excited . He thinks within himself : " Nethra and Chakki loose all their money to Lachu. The siblings and their mother are begging in the streets. Evil Arvind is shot in the head by Poobalan and becomes a real amnesia patient. Sachu beats him up every day and throws a plate full of stale food for him to eat.. Jeeva, Lachu and her mother live in a palace. Madhu marries Indhu. Saba is in jail. The serial ends – Subham."

Suddenly the TV screen in the lounge lights up and Mr.C extends his antenna and touches the screen. Oh my God, what ever Pokkiri had in mind is telecast with the same cast of Lakshmi and all the IF ians are stunned. Pokkiri's mouth is agape – if an elephant walked through, he would not have known!!!

The rest of the crowd is just stunned – Ho tries to say something but "kathu than varuthu"– a la Revathy of Devar Magan!! Tamil is glowing – she and Roja had planned long back to rewrite Kolangal – the story is all ready in her mind and she wants to beat the rest of the crowd. She dances her famous manmatharaasa dance and entices Mr.C to telecast Kolangal.

Well – " Abi gets justice, marries Mad doctor, becomes rich with Abi Constructions, all her sisters are well off, Adhi and minister uncle are kosu adichifying in the jail, Rekha is in the women's jail, lizard Easwaran gets thrown out by Kanchu, OQ wants him back but Abi refuses - " if u want him with you feel free to take a walk" –
Paatti dies just because she got all lovey dovey with grandson, Thols is kicked off to Timbuktoo on business, Usha is at last happy with her son( no hissing by hubby darling which woke up the child every night thinking that mommy has a pet snake) Subham"

Well, well, all eyes are glued to the TV, touch screen by Mr.C – oh wow, Kolangal by Tamil comes on screen. Happiness is over flowing in the lounge. Every one wants to see their favourite serial and scramble up to Mr.C. Again, there is some noise from him which gets translated by Roja " Mr.C says that he can do this with all the serials but has one condition. If u all agree then he is game to stay in the lounge as long as it takes to do the make over of all the serials telecast in all the channels."

Caryn has the uncanny knack of sensing Roja tactics. All the others are ready to promise but she stops them. "Roja, lets hear the condition first and then we will see if we can promise, ok?" Roja has a wicked smile – she looks at Mr.C who creases his brows a bit, is that a smile? – and says " He wants all of you to give up watching serials from today, is that ok with u all?"

The lounge becomes eerily quiet – " IF ians survive only because of the interaction and doling out comments and criticism is lots of fun. Can we sacrifice that?? Just for one day?? Just to see the serials end the way we want???? Is it worth???" Skeptic looks are exchanged and an unanimous decision is taken. Such a promise is not possible and enduring the trash is a better option. Mr.C grunts and is translated by Roja as " Ungalai ellam thiruthave mmudiyathu"!!! Did Mr. C say that or was it Roja's buruda??????? You will never know…….

IF Tamil Serials' Fans Lounge.

The lounge looks as if it staged a drama titled
"Chithragupthan and his hellish tricks"!!! The hot
oil and hot water barrels set up by Pat have
combined to form an amalgam. The ice blocks have
melted but the shape is still seen on the floor.
No one seems to care about the ambiance(??) -
the lounge will soon be brought back to shape by
cleaning service personnel - Pat has made arrangements.

The cleaning service just enters and are aghast
at the sight - how can any one manage to do this???!!!
They set about their task and the IF crowd slowly trickles in.

Atina is still busy with getting the house organized.
One thing is a relief - Kavitha is in charge of Atina's
kitchen and cooking all delicacies. Atina is in the process
of begging Kavi to stay for some more time and Kavi is
demanding all exotic things for her IF kitchen - " If u buy me
this this and this, I might stay back and cook" - Atina has no
option!!! Can not say who is more benefited by the punishment
- Kavi or Atina??!!

Ho is sitting in one corner and 😍 - She just
came to know that mommy and daddy have a great idea
of rehabilitating vaathu - her shoe shine skills are above
par and once she leaves(??!!) this household,
they can set up a shoe shine business for her in
Central Park NY - when people take a horse carriage
ride, they can get their shoes attended as well!!!
Vaathu will become a millionaire soon - Now Ho has
only one thought" If vaathu makes that much money ,
creep might want to get back to her. will she take
him back?? of course, she will" - and the mere imagination
is killing Ho.

Sue has decided to go on analyzing in spite of
Caryn's advice. She has to appreciate efforts put
in by the updaters. Mr. Nair has been side lined
now as Sue is so engrossed in IF. Mr.Nair obviously
heaved a sigh of relief and has stopped questioning
his baryah - "spend as much time as you want in IF
lounge, I have no qualms!!"

Pat has a bandage on her nose. Loka scratched her
nose a little too strongly - angry that Pat did not
end up doing what she intended to - "Ipdi oru sappattu
rami ya??? Kavi yai ketta eppo venumnalum seythu
kudukka maattala???" - Pat has a sheepish look. She
tried making it up to the IF ians by updating Muhurtham
and Kasthuri ahead of time - the level of anger has not abated.
Pat is kind of scared to face Roja!!

Jas has been slightly busy at work - She has been
asking Ho if she can bring her BF along when she
comes and Ho is not so sure - " if he is Kumaran
S/O of Mahalakshmi, he might go around looking for
a Malabar!!! Jas might have a tough time as Malaysia
has a lot of good looking Malabars!!!" Jas is also
angry that Pat allowed EK and Thols to escape.
" hope Roj does some thing to them this Tuesday ,
other wise I may have to put Roj in her place as well."

Pokkiri is sitting in one corner and writing
some thing. He is all set to write a serial based
on his experience of watching Sun TV. He plans to
call it "Namba Kudumbam". Sri is looking over his
shoulders and giving him ideas. These two guys are
probably the youngest in IF and so a lot of "pokkirithanam"
is expected out of this drama.

Meli is at last on her holiday - she landed at a
flooded London and was lost for a moment -
"Oppari Queen probably came here before me
and spoiled all my fun. She can flood Central London!!"

Rhodes is off for her exercise regime - hubby
watches over her and makes sure that all is well.
November is not far away and he has promised to
come for the "bangle protection" ceremony in the IF
lounge- " you be good and I will be there" deal!!!

Pat is looking forward to Roja's arrival She
cleverly managed to toss the ball to Roja's court
and escaped the wrath of Captain Atina. She is all
hopeful about Roja's potential and also knows that
Atina will never get angry with Roja - " wonder why
Captain has such a soft corner for this maddie Roja?
After all the drama staged by Roja, captain still has
not said a word!!"

The serenity of the lounge is disturbing, all are
ready for some adventure but Roja is nowhere!!!!
What is she planning?? where is she??? will she
come?? if so, when?? with so many unanswered
questions the lounge waits.......

(TBC)

Beheading, burning, bad mouthing, not chickening
out to press the switch, wild card option - well
u name it and we had it here. Roja being Roja does
not believe in instant relief - in fact, death is
not a punishment - more or less a relief for the
one who dies and the living loved ones suffer -
and having tortured the viewers for so long, they
deserve to suffer. So this is what Roja does:

Roja enters the chamber along with another newbie.
Someone from Hahaha land??!! You guessed it right!!
She is Miss. Cutandpaste and has a right hand with
sharp long nails - so you think!! But those are
actually Lasers used in cranial surgeries. Her
eyes act as chloroform sprays. When she looks at
some one for over 30 seconds, the subject loses
conscience. Her surgeries are swift and bloodless -
The subject gets up from sleep and has no clue
about the major surgery!!!

The 4 Ds are happy that the door is open but are
unconscious in seconds!!! Ms. C attends to D(Ka)
first. She runs her index finger along the skull
and opens it like a door. She burns some parts of
the brain and places a Titanium chip inside. She
runs her ring finger along the skull cap and closes
it. This process is repeated for all the 4 uncreative
heads. Roja and Ms. C are out.

The stunned IF ians want to know the deal and
Roja translates as usual.

" well, here is how it works. Their total memory
about the present serials are erased. The Titanium
chip will keep sending a mild current all the time.
They can still think about doing things related to
TV,serial, drama or movie. When their thought
process nears completion, this current will pinch
the nerve related to this activity and the pain
will be so bad that they have to abort their creation.
The most important feature is that this mild
current will induce them to think of the banned
actions all the time. So, it is a no win situation -
the urge to create trash, the inability to do so
followed by the excruciating pain is a life long
process - very similar to a life sentence -
the rest of their memory will be fine and they
will be normal otherwise" -

Pat, Caryn, Jiggs, Jas , Pokkiri and Usha are
unhappy!! Pat had 4 aluminum sombus ready to
pack the ashes. Ho and Sue are happy that their
children will not suffer the aftermath of their
sinful thoughts!!!

Usha and Pokkiri start the hunt for the next 4 Ds......