This forum is absurdly biased

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

San

@slippedaffairs

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#51

This is absolutely ridiculous. I can't believe that you are calling us absurd when you are yourself being absurd and creating an unhealthy environment at the forum. We are allowed to share our views and if you had just went through some topics that is not someone's problem. Since the show had started everyone had posted once or the other time, their views and different aspects of the show.

Sorry if it sounds rude but if you really feel people out here are biased then you should go to some other forum where people aren't " biased " as you say.

Thought to just come here after getting a break due to holi from exams but it got me more sick!!

I really feel this post is needed to be closed by DTs and if any one of you agree's, I am going to ask DT to close it.

Quote

Annie

@Star_girl

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#52

^^ Hi, look, I do not want to be rude either but please read through seven pages of discourse regarding Shravan before closing in on a very figurative word in spite of my saying that I do not treat the forum to be a monolith but it's an expression of my observational findings. It's getting kinda tiring to clarify what I meant and why I meant it every few pages instead of a valid discussion concerning Shravan and feel free to report or whatever. I really don't care lmao. It's not highschool, do whatever you want.

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Annie

@Star_girl

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: chicksoup
Interesting POV there.
Actually I found this forum quite different from the usual ones. Felt the criticisms on either of the characters never went over the limits. Was surprised with the maturity with which most of the forum has been handling it, striking a healthy balance.

Not sure if Suman can be called a narcissist...she was just proud of an image she had managed to maintain. If she was such a hardcore narcissist and selfish bully, Shravan wouldn't have been able to 'persuade' her to make his favourite dishes in exchange of the favours she received.😉 I think most of us forget this fact in our eagerness to paint one as the oppressor and the other as the suppressed.

So apart from the fact that Suman probably never knew the depth of Shravan's feelings for her, I feel her public treatment of Shravan was just bowing down to peer pressure- which I agree is not an admirable trait.

As for Shravan, I do get why he is viewing the situation through a tunnel vision right now. He must think that Suman had read the letter he had written, but as of now we don't know if Suman still remembers the letter existed. If she had, she would have plenty of fbs on the contents of it, to feed her 'narcissistic' disposition.

Also, she could have cornered Shravan wrt the dress, which he cannot deny he bought her, or ridiculed him back, reciting the letter- that she did not, must be enough to prove that she can handle this maturely.

I feel the script -as all desi shows do- supports Suman as of now.

I feel where the audience needs to maturely handle the love story is the part that Shravan has forgotten the good memories of their friendship. That is because he is the one who felt spurned, and doesn't know that she had been pining for him equally.

Hey Chick, I remember you from QH forum, god, that show was a hot mess.

Anyway, I kind of disagree that there is an eagerness to "pain" Shravan as the oppressed one on my part because that's honestly one of my bigger problems. Shravan is not an either/or character. He can be both a victim of sorts and a perpetrator now. It's strange to me when people don't notice obvious signs of a personality disorder with Shravan, setting him a bit apart from our very own tortured dude-bros of Indian Television. He is trying to perpetrate a similar form of casual verbal violence he was subjected to, at least in his mind.

I also disagree that because Suman prepared food for him, it suddenly brings balance to their relationship. Relationships, even the most abusive ones, operate within the framework of dubious reciprocation. Shravan was never entirely powerless and I literally never said so but the power balance was exceedingly unbalanced between them, favouring Suman. It kind of waters down both their characterizations and the unbalanced power equation between them if we make single plot narratives into whole ones.

I also believe I am not trying to push either Shravan or Suman into definite binaries of Oppressor/Oppressed. I am actually saying the exact opposite. Yes, I am trying to navigate the narrative from Shravan's perspective because his character is clearly more complicated and fascinating to me but what I feel is an overwhelming tendency to fit him into a singular focal characteristic instead of realizing he is both this and that. His trauma isn't illegitimate even if he's defined and limited by the same and perpetrating similar pattern of verbal violence he experienced himself. I am saying he is more than a passive victim or an active agent, he is both and that's what problematizes his character. My problem is the casual disregard of the source while wondering at the result.

Quote

tttttt1

@tttttt1

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#54

Star girl :)

For the sake of argument lets revisit the sequence of rvents Till now what has been shown is two school mates one popular and one nerdy are friends,its not an equal relationship or a give abd take relationship for sure .it was. More like admirer and admired than an equal friendship. Sravan valued suman much more ,no denial there ,more like Sravan had a crush on suman which is why he was fine with all the arrangements (meeting in private ,doing homework etc etc) something happened after that which he didnot take lightly with that letter that wss written ,took it more like a rejection to his proposal ,but in my opinion till then the love was one sided only from Sravan , more than the 'bullying ' its that rejection that made him leave .on the other hand suman repended treating him like that s and her rependence led to her falling for Sravan ,so yeah basically one fell in love one out of love

Edited by tttttt1 - 9 years ago

Quote

chicksoup

@chicksoup

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#55

Star,

Totally agree with U on the show that was a mess.😆 Did U go by a slighlty different name there? I found the writing style a bit familiar, though I was not sure. Glad to bump into U again.😳

If I go by the last two lines- U R saying he is the passive victim and the active agent...precisely what I feel most of the forum feels too. And Sumo is the passive agent and the active victim...I mean going by the degree...😉..and that is where the balance is tilted.

I think most of the forum still accepts Suman was at fault for bending down to whatever pressures and hurting Shravan, especially in that sensitive age...All I am saying is that Shravan needs to know what Suman did was UNINTENTIONAL- she never understood she had that much power over him- to make him hurt after so many years-what he did was to make her feel the magnitude of his pain. He is right in her wanting to understand him, and that would be the first step towards healing what was wounded 10 years back. Sumo needs to know what she is dealing with, and now she knows. She also probably doesn't know that she is the only one who can heal him, especially now since he has pushed her further away.

On Shravan's part, he needs to understand that what Sumo did was unintentional...that information itself would heal him actually and naturally set him on the course to rectify his mistake..

Hope to see Shravan slowly hitting on this truth as the dynamics between the duo change.😊

Quote

Annie

@Star_girl

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#56

Originally posted by: ttt1
The response to being bullied 10years back is to bully her back and rather publicaaly

That makes Sravan wrong today and suman 10 years back ... A guy who behaves like a 16year old high school teenager in my opinion is not.Aw worthy ,but a very interesting characterization he's immature and hasn't moved on my POV

I agree to Mrdarcyfan more than the response ,it was the way it was conducted that was wrong ...misleading suman ,faking a romantic angle ,making the girl wear a torn dress just because he had gifted.it ,and then reminding her of their school day ...had he ignored her from the beginning and brought urvashi to their reunion party he would have been more that jsut right ...but that's not what he did

Just my 2 cents about this forum ,I have always found it amazing how we all look for rights and wrong s in a story with the leads ,in my opinion slightly flawed characters also make the story interesting ,except that me as a viewer willl come to the forum and list down why I think the character is flawed/wrong ,i don't keep a check in who's side I am ,to me that added to the viewing experience ,and IF makes movey out.of it:)

But why exactly do we need to see Shravan as "aww worthy" or however you put it? Why is this intense desire to compartmentalize his seemingly contradictory attitude? It's the fact that Shravan is neither completely right nor entirely wrong that renders him fascinating in a way. My concern was about the more simplistic tendencies of zeroing in on parts of his characteristics in order to see them as whole. Shravan is this guy who is pretty wonderful with his family, with his friends but his one emotional area is in severe stagnation for years. He displays classic patterns of a teenage boy lashing out. It's unfair to ask him to get over it without him reaching any form of valid closure. We can argue circles around whether his behaviour today is more problematic than her behaviour yesterday but that's really not my point. He has grown up into a frustrated, rejected, traumatized, unhappy man because his frustrated infatuation coupled with her perpetration of casual verbal violence have informed and built his character as he is today. Band-aids don't fix bullet holes etc lol. Suman has matured into a more decidedly intelligent and aware young woman but Shravan's failure to do so is intricately linked with her and it's simplistic to pick an either/or scenario between them in this case.

I understand that the whole point of forums is to be a bit reactionary and it's what makes it fun. I am not policing that at all. I thought Shravan's character could do with some intelligent discourse related to me and look, it has already happened.

Quote

tttttt1

@tttttt1

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#57

Originally posted by: Star_girl

But why exactly do we need to see Shravan as "aww worthy" or however you put it? Why is this intense desire to compartmentalize his seemingly contradictory attitude? It's the fact that Shravan is neither completely right nor entirely wrong that renders him fascinating in a way. My concern was about the more simplistic tendencies of zeroing in on parts of his characteristics in order to see them as whole. Shravan is this guy who is pretty wonderful with his family, with his friends but his one emotional area is in severe stagnation for years. He displays classic patterns of a teenage boy lashing out. It's unfair to ask him to get over it without him reaching any form of valid closure. We can argue circles around whether his behaviour today is more problematic than her behaviour yesterday but that's really not my point. He has grown up into a frustrated, rejected, traumatized, unhappy man because his frustrated infatuation coupled with her perpetration of casual verbal violence have informed and built his character as he is today. Band-aids don't fix bullet holes etc lol. Suman has matured into a more decidedly intelligent and aware young woman but Shravan's failure to do so is intricately linked with her and it's simplistic to pick an either/or scenario between them in this case.
I understand that the whole point of forums is to be a bit reactionary and it's what makes it fun. I am not policing that at all. I thought Shravan's character could do with some intelligent discourse related to me and look, it has already happened.

Okay awwe worthy may be a wrong choice of words :)

What I meant is he's flawed and I don't have a problem with that but since the characterization is grey it . Gives me the right as a viewer to critique his actions or defend it ,like the public display of arrogance to his school mate ,the characterization is interesting no denial there

For now I find more reason to criticise his actions fhan defend it , that by agree completely that suman way if treating his was obnoxious some else may have a different pov here perfectly fine with me

Just one part I partially disagree is of Sravan respect for his family ,the only person he seem to respect is his father ,I don't find his relation with any member deep like for eg when he decided to move back.to London he didnot mention it to his father ,that aspect of his characterization I found very appealing because he's very independent in making his decisions and is difficult to emotionally manipulate , too indendepent is that way it's intended i guess let's see

Edited by tttttt1 - 9 years ago

Quote

Annie

@Star_girl

Sparkler

Posted: 9 years ago

#58

Originally posted by: ttt1
Star girl :)
For the sake of argument lets revisit the sequence of rvents Till now what has been shown is two school mates one popular and one nerdy are friends,its not an equal relationship or a give abd take relationship for sure .it was. More like admirer and admired than an equal friendship. Sravan valued suman much more ,no denial there ,more like Sravan had a crush on suman which is why he was fine with all the arrangements (meeting in private ,doing homework etc etc) something happened after that which he didnot take lightly with that letter that wss written ,took it more like a rejection to his proposal ,but in my opinion till then the love was one sided only from Sravan , more than the 'bullying ' its that rejection that made him leave .on the other hand suman repended treating him like that s and her rependence led to her falling for Sravan ,so yeah basically one fell in love one out of love

Yeah, I slightly disagree because Suman, to me, displayed all the signs of a classic narcissist engaging in an unaware (if you will) and dangerously unbalanced friendship with Shravan. Shravan's narrative struggles originate from him going deeper within himself instead of exploring and moving on from the actual problem. But in that case, we wouldn't really have a love story here now, would we? I know it's a knee-jerk reaction to react immediately to heavy words like "bullying" but Shravan's character is structured around him reacting to, lashing against and perpetrating this same form of verbal violence. It simplifies their characters immensely to disregard how this classic pattern of bullying by close friends and family shape you as a person. I understand the desire of not wishing to see your leads as problematic people but we have been dealing with Randhir Singh Shikhawat's for so long that it's our immediate reaction to be reductive to complicated personalities and push them into binaries.

Was his character shaped by his imagined rejection? Of course. But was it the only thing? No. Terming it a mere misunderstanding and a fall-out between admired/admirer worries me. His emotional inertia is intensified because of his defeated infatuation for her, as it happens with people who suffer rejections from their loved ones.

Quote

tttttt1

@tttttt1

Rocker

Posted: 9 years ago

#59

Originally posted by: Star_girl

Yeah, I slightly disagree because Suman, to me, displayed all the signs of a classic narcissist engaging in an unaware (if you will) and dangerously unbalanced friendship with Shravan. Shravan's narrative struggles originate from him going deeper within himself instead of exploring and moving on from the actual problem. But in that case, we wouldn't really have a love story here now, would we? I know it's a knee-jerk reaction to react immediately to heavy words like "bullying" but Shravan's character is structured around him reacting to, lashing against and perpetrating this same form of verbal violence. It simplifies their characters immensely to disregard how this classic pattern of bullying by close friends and family shape you as a person. I understand the desire of not wishing to see your leads as problematic people but we have been dealing with Randhir Singh Shikhawat's for so long that it's our immediate reaction to be reductive to complicated personalities and push them into binaries.
Was his character shaped by his imagined rejection? Of course. But was it the only thing? No. Terming it a mere misunderstanding and a fall-out between admired/admirer worries me. His emotional inertia is intensified because of his defeated infatuation for her, as it happens with people who suffer rejections from their loved ones.

I agree with you again but partially :)

the incident had deep routed impact on his characterization ,made him independent and highly practical ,like I mentioend in the previous post for now I don't find his relationship n with anyone deep ,this could be a consequence of a childhood separation from family that too on a bad note , but what I meant is the trigger for decision to leave was not bullying but rejection tk his propsla insite of bring the aww worthy friend all through out ...makes him question not suman but himself and how he should view relationships

That also in a scenario were i see him being closer to suman's family than his own ,so this rejection is taking away a lot more than a friendship

Quote

Ask Me :)

@bepannaahpyaar.

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#60

I think the fact that we're having such a mutually respectful debate where everyone is feeling comfortable enough to discuss their varying points of view speaks for the nature of this forum itself, but I digress from the topic at hand. And I've seen you clarify what you meant by that in some previous replies so I'll spare you from repeating yourself 😆.

As for what I think about this situation, I posted the following on a similar thread and I'm kind of lazy to restate myself 😆 so I'll just leave this here:

"Hey girl! Haha, can totally see you feel passionate about this topic! Don't worry I think most of us aren't hating on Shravan and can sort of understand where he's coming from. None of us support the way he did it, but I think most of us can see why.

I think what most people forget is what Suman had to deal with for one day, Shravan had to deal with for his entire life (that is, the entire duration of his friendship with Suman). He was always put back "in his place" as the geek who can't be seen with "the queen bee," denied the right of being a friend when they were in public, quasi-stood up at prom, and some of the bits and pieces of the flashback hint at some sort of past public humiliation for him as well.

Bachpana is not an excuse to make someone feel that horrible about themself. Unintentional the hurt may be, and even if on the surface young-Shravan acted like he was fine with the way she treated him, I don't think it takes a genius to figure out that treating someone that way probably somewhere does hurt them.

I'm saying this because I'm also in 12th grade right now, and maybe that's why I don't really seem to understand/completely see how Suman's behavior in the past is forgivable/can be written off as "bachpana." I think at this age, mujhe sahi/galat ka fark ache se nazar aata hai.

And if after all that Suman did, she was still "completely unaware" about hurting Shravan, then she was consciously being insensitive/choosing to look the other way when it comes to making that realization. And that realization was pushed off till it completely got lost in her memory, leading her to see her mistakes in the past as not a big deal ("itni bhi badi baat nahi thi"). She was fortunate enough to be able to cling onto the happy memories of their friendship, Shravan wasn't.

I don't have any ill feelings for the Suman of today because I absolutely love her, the only thing I just really want her to see is that admist being hurt about the tamaasha at the party, she takes into account how much she hurt Shravan (to the point where it caused such an extreme reaction from him) and reflects on that.

Just my two cents.

-Kriti ❤️"

The only thing I'd like to add here is my views on the dismissal of his character with the argument "He's acting like a teenager, is not worthy."

The teenage years are the most impactful with regards to shaping a person. No one supports the way Shravan did it, but I can't see how you could possibly hold it against him for being so hurt. I'm 18 now, but events in my life from years ago still affect the way I see certain things and associate with certain people. They are not nearly be as huge as the events that took place during ShraMan's childhood but they still cause a reaction from me. I can't blame him for still carrying that pain, I don't see how one could. So if being human is being perceived him as "acting like a teenager and not being worthy" than I would, respectfully, have to strongly differ there.

And I just hope people remember, Shravan had clear intentions of avoiding Suman and just moving on (or at least giving the impression that he did so) when he came back. He refused to acknowledge who she is, and was rather indifferent towards her. It was the confrontation after the maata-rani prayer thing that reopened old wounds, that caused this knee-jerk reaction to plan a revenge. It wasn't like he'd been planning and plotting this for 10 years, it was a stupid and rash decision made and executed in the matter of days.

And while there is the view that Shravan's revenge came from an ill-intended place in his heart, I personally see it coming from a deeply broken and hurt place in his heart that could only take so much.

Finally, for my thoughts on the show, I LOVE the fact that there is no clear cut right and wrong, black and white. I've said this before and I say this again, I truly, genuinely appreciate that the writers of this show are consciously choosing to avoid compartmentalizing their characters in the realm of "bad-guy" and "victim." They are both wrong in their own ways, giving the characters great room to grow and leave us with a beautiful character graph. And this is especially why I want to see Suman, admist hurting from what happened at the party, also thinking about what could have caused such an extreme reaction from Shravan. To really introspect and not just label him "bad guy" because there's more to him than that, and I think he deserves some more consideration, especially from her side. Which is why I'm really happy after reading the spoilers regarding the future track. Her forgiving him for the humiliation at the party upon reflecting on her mistakes is the best way of showing that she is truly sorry for what happened in the past, a gesture speaks volumes more than a "sorry-for-the-past" would've.

Alright so I think that's rather long, I'll leave it at this.

Cheers!

-Kriti ❤️

Quote

1 ... 3 4 5 6 7

This forum is absurdly biased - Page 6

Related Topics

Explore Topics