This forum is absurdly biased - Page 5

Originally posted by: Star_girl

@ MrDarcyfan ( Ha, anunderstood Shravan in ername on a Persuasion-lite forum)- as you have stated before, we are approaching this situation very differently. I do not believe in this unaware nature of Suman's bullying, because as Fiery has stated, the intention of a classic narcissist was always there. Her behaviour towards him follows very clear patterns of subtle abuse which characterized Shravan. Even if "unconsciously", Suman has marked Shravan's personality disorder and emotional stagnation. Shravan's plotting is definitely condemnable but it's also important to note his emotional stalling as a man. Someone claimed, why can't Shravan be mature and let go? It's because he is quite obviously suffering from PTSD which has led to his emotional blockage of sorts. He cannot let go because he hasn't really grown up. He cannot move on because his trauma hasn't reached any form of closure. An apology wouldn't do that. A year of apologies wound't fix him. He needs closure and healing to transcend his emotional freezing point.

It's simplistic to reduce his character to one focal narrative. His character is a number of things. Suman, as you put it, has brought this upon herself and she is as much an agent of abuse as Shravan is being. Unawareness doesn't invalidate anything. Shravan is moulded into this angry, frustrated man. Suman was always a narcissist.

Originally posted by: MrDarcyfan

@ Star_Girl:

Yes I am a hardcore fan of Jane Austen. In fact when I was in England after university, I visited Bath mostly coz it was the last city she lived in. I made sure to visit the Jane Austen center. I love her work and think she has a lot of truth in her writing. It was about what she knew and who she knew. Critics agree "Persuasion" was her most mature work. An older and wiser Jane writing about an older and wiser Anne.

Getting back to Suman and Shravan...Yes Shravan is still emotionally a child and that is why he behaved as he did. He has not grown up emotionally beyond the point where Suman left his life, or he left hers. Its like how Miss Havisham (from Great Expectations) stopped all the clocks from the moment she was left at the alter, and refused to move on from her torment. Sharvan has been unable to let this go.

Maybe now, with how he got even with Suman, he will feel like he got the vindication he needed to move on? Lets see!

I do understand Sharvan's POV. In fact the first week I watched this show I wrote a piece on it. It's called "Daramiyaan" and it is all about his POV and how he feels justified in planning revenge from her.

Originally posted by: prc_fan1

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">@Star_girl</font>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Sorry for jumping in! WORD to everything you said here. I completely see your point.</font>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Add to the fact that Shravan had no one to guide him out of his pain & help him see past it. He left, he was all alone in London. And clearly when you are cornered in such a way, any person would use those bad memories as the focal point to dictate how they want to be & change. So Shravan changed & became the man Suman wanted & the man the world wants & looks up to. In this process, he got no closure, in fact his wounds were left open & they scarred him for life, leaving a permanent mark. Obviously, her 'sorrys' won't fix him because she's psychologically damaged him.</font>

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">There is no denying that Shravan has suffered more than Suman has. But Suman, too has been affected. She has been waiting a decade to want to make it up to him. Yes, Shravan had a valid point that she should have tried to contact him in these 10 years, rather than waited for him to come back to India. But that doesn't take away from the fact that at the end of the day, Suman deserves forgiveness too. She genuinely did want to make it up to him when he came back. She has changed, she has matured with time. She is no longer the narcissist she once was. Shravan is still viewing her from the eyes of his teenage self which is justified, but I hope he looks beyond it one day, so that he can heal too, especially when she realises her mistakes. And there is no doubt that Suman is the one who can heal him.</font>

Originally posted by: ...FieryPhoenix

You're justifying bullying with that reasoning of yours.

People are different. Some are weak and some are strong. It doesn't give the strong one the right to bully the weak ones. May be you have a different approach. And to an extent I agree that people shouldn't tolerate bullying and should speak up. But it is also true bullies do not have the right to bully others even if victims don't speak up.

A lot of bullies are upfront, does that make them right? No. A lot of bullies are young, teenagers. Does that make their actions justified out of immaturity or age? No. Bullies scar a lot of kids. No wonder why it still continues to be a huge issue everywhere.

Anyhoo, let's agree to disagree cuz we certainly have different approaches to eveluate bullying.