Hi. ...I have been very busy this week. ...another part full of Swadarsh. ...hope you like it. ...next update after Wednesday as my practicals taking place this week.
CHAPTER 6
Swadheenta took in a deep breath and knocked on the door. This was awkward. She was standing in front of her ex fiance's room hours before her marriage. But she had to talk to Adarsh. She had sensed his pain the moment their eyes met. She had meant to ease his guilt and instead she had hurt him more. She wanted him to be happy and move on. She was sure he had no one in his life and she didn't want that for him. Asad was right. Fate had brought them across each other again. There had to be a reason . Maybe this was it. She waited for him.
"Aa raha hoon. " She heard him say as he opened the door.
He looked at her surprised. He was planning to meet her. Last night he had meant to apologise to her and instead he had blamed her again. He had left her again. She is getting married, he thought and he had made her feel guilty for his mistake. He wanted to apologise to her one last time.
He moved to let her in. He was about to ask her to sit when a man brought in two mugs of coffee. Adarsh looked at him bewildered.
" Maine order ki thi coffee "she told him as the man left. Signing him to sit she added " Yeh story ek coffee se hi toh shuru hui thi. Toh kyun na ek coffee se hi khatam ki jaaye. On a good note. "
He took the coffee from her and sat opposite to her. Then he replied "Mere liye toh kahaani ek shaadi se shuru hua and aur aaj tumhari shaadi se khatam hoga. And I also want to end it on a good note
"
They sipped the coffee and he asked "Tum aur Karan kaise mile the? "
She hadn't expected the question.
"Well 3 years back mile the. Woh interested tha. Amma Appa ko bhi pasand aaya. Shaadi fix ho gayi. " She answered.
" Tum khush ho iss shaadi se? " he asked.
"Of course. " She said and then honestly said "I am not in love with him. But I don't know about love anymore. "
He looked at her apologetically.
" Aur tum? Are you single? " she asked though she already knew the answer.
"Yes. But I am happy . I don't think I will change that status any time soon. " He said as calmly as he could.
Not waiting for her he said " I am sorry Swadheenta. For everything. All those accusations and pain. "
"I know Adarsh. " She said looking away.
" No Swadheenta. Let me complete. I know I spoiled everything. Your dreams. Your life. Apologies won't change anything. But I have to get this out. That day at the hospital I needed . I wanted you to console me but I didn't think that you would have wanted the same. Ho sakta tha Asad terrorist ho par tumhare liye woh tumhara bhai tha. Use uss haalat mein dekhkar tumhe bhi utna hi dard hua hoga jitna Abhay ko dekhkar mujhe hua. Par maine tumhe samhaalne ki jagah aur toda. Tumhe choose kar ne ko kaha. Aur jab tum ne apni family ko choose ki toh naaraaz ho gaya. Yeh nahin samjha ki tumhare liye woh kitna difficult hoga. ...Woh family jisne tumhari parvarish ki tumhare saath diya hamesha. ..unhe chhod ne ko kaha. ..uss family ke liye jo tumhara honewaala tha. Koi bhi wohi karta jo tum ne kiya. Par uss waqt yeh sab nahin samjha . Bas gussa aaya jab tum chali gayi. Phir jab tum ne kaha ki tum Asad ko defend kar rahi ho toh laga tum mere family ki dard badaa rahi ho aur jhoot ki saath de rahi ho. Yeh nnahin samjha ki tum to mere family ke liye bhi lad rahi ho. Phir tum Dad aur Bhai ke khilaf khadi hui. I felt I am being attacked part by part. Bachpan se main aur Chottu Momse zzyaada close the aur Bhai papa ke. Chottu toh Dad se darta tha par main papa ko apna role model maanta aaya. Jab tum neunhe blame kkiya toh I told myself to hate you. Kahin na kahin main jaanta tha ki Dad utne perfect nahin hai jitna main maanta hoon par maine khud ko convince ki ki tum galat ho. "Adarsh said his eyes brimming with tears.
He couldn't bear to look at her and walked towards the balcony and continued " uss din jab tum hospital aayi toh maine apna saara gussa nikaal diya. Jab Bhabhi ne kaha ki Vanshika tum se zyaada sahi thi humare family ke liye toh main chup raha Isliye nahin ki unki baat se sahmat tha par Isliye kyunki jaanta tha ki tumhe dard hoga. Laga tumhe dard dekar khushi hogi. I knew with all I said that day I crossed a line. Tumhe toottha hua dekha par samhaala nahin. I am sorry. I deserve this and worse. "
Swadheenta put her hand on his shoulder and made him face her. Then she said
" Galti meri bhi hai. Jaanti thi tum aaoge. Jab tum ne report ke baare mein bataane ke liye call kiya tab hi samajh gayi thi ki tum sach jaan chuke ho . Jaanti thi ki tum maafi maang ne aaoge . Phir bhi chali gayi tum se door jab ki tum se jaan se zyaada pyaar karti thi. Case ke baad ghar gayi toh Maamu keh rahe the ki woh Delhi se door jaana chahte hai at least kuch waqt ke liye. Asad ke liye bhi wohi sahi tha. Aur maine unke saath Jaane ka decision liya. Tum se door jaana theek laga. Dar tha ki tumhe phir se kho doongi aur uss se accha toh door Chale jaana hai. Maamu Maami ne kaha tha ki ek baar tum se baat karoon, par jaanti thi tum mujhe jaane nahin doge . Aur agar tum ne roka toh mera dil maan jaayega. I would melt. Uss waqt mujhe Bas wahaan se nikalna tha aur Isliye coward ki tarah woh letter chhod kar chali gayi. Tumhe meri wajah se itni saal guilt main jeena pada "
He wiped her tears and cupped her face in his hands "Nahin Swadheenta, tum ne galat nahin kiya. Main vaada thod sakta tha aur tumhe doond leta. But I just accepted it as our fate. One stupid promise I decided to keep. Chottu sahi tha. Mujhe tumhare paas aane ki koshish karni chahiye thi. I am sorry "
She looked at him and holding his hands she said "Nahin mujhe aisi stupid promise maangna nahin chahiye tha. Dil toh yahin chahta tha ki tum aa jaao but main bhi toh aa sakti thi apni promise bhool kar. "
He pulled her closer and putting a finger on her lips he said
"Aur sorry mat bolo. I love you Swadheenta . As much as I did when I first told you this. "
"I love you too. Perhaps more than when I first told you this. " She said almost whispering.
They both smiled at each other their faces inches apart. They were together in that moment and that is all what mattered. He hugged her with all his strength everything else forgotten. She didn't want to let go of him ever again
She pulled back a little and stroked his face lovingly. She was about to kiss him when the door opened and they turned to see Simmi and Abhay standing at the door surprised.
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