Lost Love : A Swadarsh SS Epilogue page 13 updated 3/9 - Page 4

Originally posted by: -Sarcy-

That was heartbreaking! But loved the way you have picked everything and closed the loops despite modifying the track.

thank you dear. ... 😊

Originally posted by: .Harshita.

Woww year...Such an Amazing update...

Loved it..❤️

So emotional.. 😭

You are brilliant

Update Soonish...😳

thank you. ..happy you guys enjoyed it. ...will update by tomorrow

Adarsh deserved it bt

He

Hi guys. ..Again I am late. ..my classes have started and there is so much to do. ...will try to update next part by Saturday. ...keep reading

CHAPTER 4

"Baby tum ab bhi naaraaz ho? Meri baat suno " Abhay said trying to talk to Simmi who was angry with him since he had come back from the sangeet.

" Jaao. Mujhe tumse baat nahin karna. Tum ne mujhe bhi kuch nahin bataaya. " She said turning away.

"Baby, samjho na. I love you. "Abhay tried again pulling her into a hug.

" No. Chhodo mujhe. Mein mom dad ko bata deti hoon. Woh to shocked nahin hoge. " Simmi said pulling away.

"Mom jaanti hai. " Abhay said.

" Oh to woh bhi jaanti hai. Sab ko bataaya except me. Aur kehte hai pyaar karte hain. " Simmi said angrily.

" Baby bataaya hota to tum chhup nahin rahti. Bhai ko pata chal jaata. " he told her.

"Aur unhe is tarah laana sahi hai? Paanch saal pehle uss din unki kya haalat thi tum nahin jaante. Mein thi unke saath. Aur aaj Swadheenta achanak unke saamne aa gayi woh bhi kisi aur ki fiancee ban kar. Socho unki kya haalat hogi. " Simmi said worried.

" Main jaanta hoon Baby. Par yeh sab bhai ke liye hi kar rahaan hoon. ..."Abhay was telling her when they were interrupted by Aman who was back after having snacks.

" Papa. Mumma ko ab tak nahin manaaya? Aap mere saath khelne chalo na. " He said.

" Haan chalo."Abhay said picking him up.

"Mein Bade papa ko leke aata hoon. " Aman said leaving.

"Nahin unhe main leke aaonga. Tum aur Mumma change karo aur wait karna. " Abhay said.

Abhay knocked on the door. After a minute or two Adarsh opened the door and let him in. Then he moved towards the balcony not looking at Abhay.

"Bhai, Aman aap ko khelne ke liye bula raha hai. Chalo na. " He said .

" Chottu tujhe lagta hai mein abhi khelne ki mood mein hoon? Kyun kiya tu ne aisa? " He asked angrily.

" Aap ke khaatir bhai. Picchle paanch saal se kya ho raha hai iska aapko ko idea hai. Mom dad aapko leke pareshan rahte hain. Jaidev Bhai Bhabhi ke saath bahot khush hai. Meri bhi ek family hai. Aur aap? The best. Aap akele ho. Aap kehte ho aapka Swadheenta ke saath saare rishte khatam ho gaye. To phir aap move on kyun nahin karte? Mujhe laga ki unhe khushi khushi aage badhte dekhenge to aap bhi aage badenge. Isliye laaya mein aapko yahaan. " Abhay said.

Adarsh stayed silent but he knew Abhay was right. When she had left he hadn't realised the gravity of the situation initially . He missed her but there was too much going on. With the case ending things had smoothed down but his family was still suffering. Abhayhad been in coma for months. The constant stress wasn't good for Simmi. Jaya Bhabhi was angry with Bhai for not speaking up the truth. Everyone had feared she would leave but she had stayed saying that she wasn't just his wife but a bahu of the family and couldn't forget her responsibilities. She also promised to try fix her relationship with Bhai .Mom too was angry with dad for breaking her trust. He had been caught up in all this plus his official duties. He had missed her every moment but he hadn't thought more about it.

He had realised the implications of it fully the first time on the day Abhay had finally come out of the coma. It had been around four to five months after she had left. Abhay had finally opened his eyes but he had been traumatised and disorientated and the doctors had suggested that they should meet him the next day once their doctors had talked to him. Adarsh had been dying to see Abhay but something frightened him. He didn't want to be the one to answer Abhay ' s questions. So he had suggested that his parents should stay with Abhay that night while he would take Simmi home and bring her back the next day. His mom had been surprised that he hadnt asked to stay with Abhay at the hospital. He had explained that with Bhai and Bhabhi being out of station, it would be better if he was with Simmi as she would be more comfortable and if mom was to be with her they would both be all the more stressed. His parents had bought it as they had seen him and Simmi bond over the past few months. He had always thought of Simmi as a sister and the time they had spent at the hospital had forged a good bond between them. He had talked to her about Swadheenta and she had been a good friend.

The next morning he had taken Simmi to the hospital. His mother had decided that Simmi should be the first to meet Abhay. His parents, along with Bhai and Bhabhi who had just returned, were waiting for Simmi. A few minutes after Simmi had gone in they had entered the room. Simmi was crying, hugging Abhay, telling him she was scared and Abhay was consoling her, telling her he was with her. That day for the first time he realised what he had lost. They were supposed to be like this, they belonged together but he had killed them.

At that very moment Abhay who had managed to control Simmi asked him "Bhai aap kyun itni door khade ho? Aur Jaidev Bhai aap itne worried kyun ho? Aap dono mujhe dekhkar khush nahin ho? "

He had gone to Abhay and given him a tight hug and even Jaidev had joined them. And then Abhay had asked "Swadheenta Bhabhi kahaan hai? "

He had wanted to cry at that moment but he didn't want his family to feel guilty anymore and Abhay was still recovering. But he knew his Chottu would know he was lying. His mother had come to his rescue telling Abhay that Swadheenta and her family would come to meet him soon. He had left the room citing an excuse.

After that he had gone into a depression. He knew that his brother would have by now known everything but they hadn't talked about it for months. He had visited Abhay everyday at the hospital but Abhay had never talked about Swadheenta. Not even after he was brought back home. He knew that they would have to talk about it someday soon and it had happened a week or two after Aman was born.

****Flashback

Adarsh stood near the window with his little nephew in his arms. Abhay was giving Simmi medicines and he was playing with the baby. Abhay came to him telling him Simmi was sleeping and took the baby from him.

"Bhai, aapko pata hai iska naam kya hai? " Abhay asked him. He shook his head.

" Aman. Asad ne suggest kiya tha that night. "Abhay said.

He tried to make an excuse.

" Bhai please. Itne din wait kiya ki aap khud kuch kahenge. Kyun kuch nahin kehte bhai? Simmi ne mujhe sab bataaya. I know ki aapne Swadheenta se vaada kiya ki aap use nahin doondoge. But what kind of a promise is that? " Abhay asked.

"Chottu I have hurt her enough. I can't break this last promise." He said.

" Ok. Aap vaada mat thodna. But maine aisa koi vaada nahin kiya hai. Main leke aaonga unhe. " Abhay said.

" No Chottu. Tu aisa kuch nahin karega. " He said firmly.

" Bhai, its not about Swadheenta alone. Asad ke saath jo hua uski wajah main hoon. Mujhe use wahaan le jaana nahin chahiye tha. Mujhe us se milna hai. " Abhay reasoned.

" No. Koi Swadheenta ya Jilanis se milne ki koshish nahin karega. Please. " He said firmly leaving the room.

*****Flashback ends ***

"Bhai fate brought you to her again. To give you another chance at being happy. Try to use it. "Abhay said quietly.

The brothers stayed silent for a moment or two and then Adarsh hugged Abhay. Patting his shoulder he said

"Chal. Aman wait kar raha hoga. "

*******

"Main andar aa sakta hoon. " Asad asked peeping into the room.

Swadheenta who was sitting in front of the mirror smiled and asked "Tu kabse permission maangne laga. Kahaan tha tu. Radhika ko call kiya to usne kaha tum uske saath nahin ho. "

"Abhay bhai aur Aman ke saath. He is so cute but bahot shaararti hai. " Asad told her.

" Apne papa jaisa hai. Adarsh kehta tha ki Abhay sabse mischievous hai. " She said smiling remembering her conversations with Adarsh.

Then seeing Asad smile at her she asked "Tu jaanta tha na ki Sinhas yahaan hai. Subah yahaan pahunchte hi Karan ne tumhe yahaan ruke guests ki list di na? Us mein Adarsh aur Abhay ke naam bhi dekha hoga na tum ne. Jhoot mat bhol. "

"The Swadheenta Ramakrishnan se koi jhoot bol sakta hai Kya? Haan. Mujhe pata tha. " Asad said laughing.

" To bataaya kyun nahin? I was so shocked when I saw them. "She asked.

" Freedom. Tu kehti hai Adarsh ko tu bhula chuki hai. Karan ke saath tu settle hona chahti hai and all. To tum itni pareshan kyun ho gayi Adarsh Sinha ko dekhkar. Kabhi na kabhi to milna hi hai. To why not today. 5 saal pehle maine tumse kaha tha ki ek baar usse milna but tum sure thi ki tumhara rishta khatam ho yahin sahi hai. Aur itne saalon mein ek bhi baar tum ne un logon se baat karne ki koshish nahin ki. Yahaan tak ki Abhay bhai ke baare mein bhi kabhi jaanne ki koshish nahin ki though we all wanted to know how he is. To phir kyun itni pareshan ho rahi hai. Tum he to khush hona chahiye ki tumhari nayi life ke shuru hone se pehle tum apni past ko puri tarah se close kar sakti ho. So chill. " Asad told her.

" Tu sahi keh raha hai. Mujhe neend nahin aa raha hai. "She said

"Mujhe to acche se neend aa rahi hai. Tu thodi der wahaan beach main jaake bait jaana. Tujhe bhi neend aa jayegi. " Asad said leaving the room.

He was right. She felt so suffocated. She decided to get some fresh air.
She got out of the room and walked towards the sea. It felt so good. She walked a few more steps and saw someone standing on the shore.

The next moment she wished she hadn't come out. But it was too late.

************************************

Loved how abhay didnot speak to adarsh abt swadheenta for days after he was out of coma giving adarsh some time to cm out of guilt but did not happen.

Thanks dear loved the update really amazing enjoyed reading it do update next part soon

well written..👍🏼

Liked it
waiting for next part

Hi guys. ...so the last two chapters didn't have much of Swadarsh...hope this one will be a suitable compensation. ...don't hate me for the beginning. ..its only to give an idea of what Swadheenta is going through. ...hope you like it

CHAPTER 5

Why on earth had she listened to Asad , Swadheenta thought as she saw Karan standing by the seashore. Then she rebuked herself. Karan was her fiance. In less than 24 hours she would be his wife. But she wasn't in a mood to talk to him. In fact she had been avoiding him for the past few days. She knew it was wrong. Karan was a good man.

She had met Karan 3 years ago when they had worked together on a case. They became good friends soon but his proposal had been a surprise to her. He had talked directly to her parents who were more than pleased with him . He belonged to their community and her parents felt it was good for her. She had no reason to refuse. Except that she didn't love him and that wasn't a requirement any more. She felt she owed it to her parents to move on. Adarsh Sinha was her mistake. She wouldn't make them suffer.

Karan smiled as she walked up to him.

" Tum yahaan? Tum to apne farmhouse mein rahnewale the. "She asked.

" Apne friends ko chhod ne aaya tha. Aur tum? "He asked.

" Aise hi. " She replied.

" Swadheenta mujhe tum se baat karni thi. "He said and continued "I know you don't love me. Par kal tum meri wife ban jaaogi. Tum hamesha busy rehti ho. meine tumhe kabhi nahin roka. Par shaadi ke baat main chahta hoon tum hamare liye thoda time nikaalo. Meri family ke saath time spend karo. "

Swadheenta nodded. She knew he was right. She liked him but they weren't close. She had never spoken her heart out to him. She was polite and good to his family but she didn't feel the kind of attachment she had felt with the Sinhas. They had been her family. She had taken all of them as her own. But they weren't hers anymore.

"I know. I will try to be a good wife and bahu " She said .

Karan smiled and said " I know your past but I don't want it to affect our future. "

With that he left. Swadheenta felt worse. Meeting Adarsh had already thrown her off balance and now this.

She was standing there thinking about all this when she felt someone hold her hand. She turned to see Aman standing near her. Abhay was coming behind him.

She smiled looking at them.

"Hey cutie. Aap yahaan kya kar rahe hain. " She asked Aman.

" Woh toh hame aap se poochhna chahiye . Dulhan kaheen bhaag ne ki planning toh nahin kar rahi hai na? " Abhay asked.

"Bhaagoongi toh mera IPS bhai mujhe help karega na? " She asked laughing.

" Papa sirf acche logon ke help karte hain. So aapka zaroor help karenge aur jis se aap bhaag ne wale ho usse shoot kar denge. " Aman told her in a very serious tone.

Swadheenta laughed loudly at this and said " Tum to sabse cute aur smart Sinha ho ".

" Bade papa bhi yahi kehte hain. Aap unki friend ho? " Aman asked.

Swadheenta smiled at his question and said " Haan I know him. But aap itne raat ko yahaan kya kar rahe ho? Aapki mom kahaan hai? "

" Hum yahaan khelne aaye the. Mumma room mein hai. Papa aur unki ladaai hui to unhone Papa ko room se bhaga diya. Isliye we are here. Aur Mumma jald hi bimar ko jaati hai. So unhe nahin laaye. ..."Aman said in a single breath. Abhay gagged him saying "Bas bhi karo na "

"Chottu, use kyun rok raha hai. Tu uss se jalta hai kyunki ussne tujhse sabse talkative Sinha ka title cheen liya. " Adarsh said laughing as he joined them.

Abhay glared at his brother and then all of them broke out laughing. Swadheenta laughed like she hadn't in years. It wasn't because of the conversation but the people she was with. 5 years and still she felt at home with them. Though seeing Adarsh had been awkward she had felt a sense of relief and comfort she had experienced only with her family. This moment felt like a family moment. If not for that fateful night they would have had a million such moments. The thought brought tears and she wiped it off quickly.

Adarsh too was thinking the same. Time spent with Aman was always good for him but this was special
she was with him. He felt a different kind of energy in himself. She would always be a part of his family. He grew sad at thought that had things turned out as planned today she would be his wife , laughing at a banter between her husband , brother in law, and her nephew. He quickly brushed aside that thought.

They all walked towards the sea. Aman who hadn't spent much time at a beach was scared seeing the vast expanse of water at night and held on to Adarsh asking him to come along with him and Abhay. Abhay laughed at this
"Tum aur tumhare Bade papa? Haan. Aaj tum log kheloge "

Looking at Swadheenta ' s confused face he explained "Bhai ko sea se dar lagta hai. "

She looked at Adarsh curiously and he said "Chottu main darta nahin hoon. Bas pasand nahin hai. ". She laughed hearing that. Adarsh always made such faces while lying.

"Aman main aap ko le jaati hoon. " She said taking him a little ahead. She was already feeling attached to the kid. A few minutes later they both were having fun splashing water on each other. Abhay came over and took Aman saying he would take care of Aman as they didn't want the dulhan falling ill. She walked back while Abhay took Aman ahead. She was alone with Adarsh.

Maybe it was destiny, she thought. Maybe he wouldn't talk about the past. And if he did she would handle it. He was standing at the shore the water just touching his toes .She couldn't help think how handsome he looked in the moonlight. Chiding herself she went near him. Maybe they had to talk this out as Asad said.

Adarsh had seen her coming towards him. She looked so happy and carefree playing with Aman. That had been missing in her face during the sangeet. Maybe this was his chance to apologise. Maybe it was the actual end to their story.

They stood in silence for some time close to each other and then Adarsh decided to break the silence.

" Congrats Swadheenta "he said.

" Thanks Adarsh "she said smiling.

"How are you? " he asked hesistantly.

" I am ok. Amma Appa aaj raat aa rahe hain. Actually Chennai mein reception hai toh arrangements ke liye gaye hain. Maamu Maami tumhare baare mein pooch rahe the. Abhay mila tha unse. " She said.

" hmm. Milooonga unse. Par kaise unhe face karoon? " He asked looking away.

" Don't worry. Unhone tumhe bahut pehle hi maaf kar diya. " She assured him and asked "Ghar pe sab kaise hain? "

" theek hai. Dad retired hain par ministry ke ek special commission mein involved hain. Mom zyaada cases nahin le rahi hai. She wants to spend time with grandkids. Jaya Bhabhi pehle Jaidev Bhai se bahot naaraaz thi but eventually sab theek ho gaya. They have a little princess Tara. Mom dad kal aayenge. Mom is proud of you. " he told her.

She smiled in reply and asked "Abhay theek kab hua? I used to worry about him a lot. "

He was telling her when a sudden wave hit them. She lost her balance and fell into his arms as he caught her and steadied her. They looked at each other for a moment.

"This is what I hate about the sea. You never know. "He told her moving back.

"Thats what I like about it. This unpredictability. " She said.

" Haan. Abhi ye tumhe le jaata. " he replied.

She laughed hearing that and asked "Itni problem hai toh kyun aaye yahaan? :

Smiling he told her "Aman ne bulaaya tha aur woh toh mera laadla hai. Aur phir Abhay beach par aate hi kuch zyaada excited ho jaata hai. " . They sat down a bit away from the shore and Adarsh continued

"Bachpan mein jab hum vacations par jaate de aur beach pahunch jaate de toh Chottu kuch zyaada hi excited ho jaata tha. Jaidev Bhai ko pani mein aise khelna bahot childish lagta tha even as a child aur Chottu ko kuch zyaada hi acchha. " He said looking somewhere far away smiling.

"Aur tum aise shore pe hi khade rahte? Apne mature bhai aur mischievous bhai ke beech ki balance ban kar? "She asked.

" Tumhe yaad hai? " He asked a tone of surprise in his voice filled with a memory from a time which now seemed a dream.

" Sab kuch yaad hain. "remembering the same things .

"Bachpan se hi puri family Abhay ko leke bahut protective the. Specially main. Jab se mujhe yaad hain main use protect karte aaya hoon. Main use maarta hoon, daattha hoon, chhedtha hoon aur kabhi kabhi mere wajah se use daath bhi padta hai par jab use takleef hoti hai toh mujhse dekha nahin jaata. Jab woh Simmi ko leke ghar aaya toh mujhe bhi uss par bahut gussa aaya. Par jab maine use pareshan dekha toh maine use maaf kar diya. Its always like that. I know he is all grown up. Police officer hai. Ab toh baap bhi hai. Par abhi bhi main use baccha hi maanta hoon. " Adarsh said smiling and then his smile was replaced by guilt and pain. She knew it was coming.

" uss din uss call se jab mujhe pata chala ki mere Chottu ko goli lagi hai toh zindagi mein pehli baar I lost it. Meri saari reasoning abilities khatam ho gaye. Aur phir hospital mein doctor ne bataaya ki shaayad hum use hamesha ke liye kho denge. Meri mom toot gayi. Simmi ki haalat bahut buri thi. Main pagla gaya. Yeh laga ki tum mere family ki dushman ho
. .." he was crying.

" Adarsh I know you were going through a lot. Samajhti hoon. I understood what you were going through. I understand a elder sibling's protective instincts. Agar mujhe dukh hai toh iss baat ka ki tum yeh nahin samajh paaye ki I was going through the same pain. I was around 5 years old when Asad was born . Mere parents hamesha academy ko le kar busy rahte the. Maami meri khayaal rakhti thi. Jab Asad paida hua toh I was in the hospital with Maamu and my parents. Bahut excited thi. And then Maamu se use mere khod mein diya aur kaha ki tumhe hamesha iska khayaal rakhna hai. And I always did that. Waise hi jaise tum ne Abhay ko protect kiya. And you didn't understand that. " She said crying and looking away.

She continued "i loved you Adarsh. Uss din jab tum shaadi ki venue se gaye aur tumhare Papa ne bataaya ki Abhay ko chhot lagi hai toh main tumhare saath aana chahti thi. Know why? I was worried about Abhay but more for you. I knew how broken you would be. But I couldn't leave because your family were in shock and my family and I stayed back to deal with the guests and then I came running to you. All the way I was worrying about you. I wanted to console you, tell you it was all going to be alright. And instead I saw my brother being called a terrorist. He was so scared n the police were taking him. And you asked me to choose. Between my love and my brother. Between my two brothers . Between my families . I am not angry for that. You don't know Asad the way I know him. It was difficult to trust him when all the evidence was against him but you knew me. My principles. Tum hi ne kaha tha na ki main sach se bahut pyaar karti hoon. Toh phir kyun nahin samjhe ki agar Asad ne kuch galat ki hoti toh sabse pehle saza main use deti. " She said breaking down.

" Mujhe laga time ke saath tumhara gussa kam hoga. Baar baar call kiya. Tum ne phone pick nahin kiya. Aur uss din hospital mein...Abhay se milne aayi thi. ..pareshan thi. ..Aur tum ne Vanshika ko support kiya. ...uss ladki ko jis ke bhai ke wajah se Asad jail mein tha. ...use tum ne wellwisher kaha. ...Jaya Bhabhi ne kaha she would be a better bahu to the family and you said nothing. ...you told me to go away from your lives. ...you said I don't care for Abhay. ...you didnt listen to me even once. ...If you had listened shaayad tumhari family bhi samajhti. ..."She shouted.

" I know I hurt you. Tumhe maine moka nahin diya. Par tum ne bhi mujhe ek bhi moka nahin diya maafi maang ne ka. Tumhe samjhaane ka. Ek letter chhod gayi tum. Ek call kar liya hota. ...ek baar mil leti. ...but you just left. Picchle paanch saal main roz guilt mein mar raha hoon. Humare rishte ko thodne ki guilt. Meri zindagi ruk gayi hai. I have been through hell Swadheenta " Adarsh shouted at her breaking down.

They were facing each other both crying. They had got everything out. And hurt each other all over again. Both silently wiped their tears.

" Bade papa " they heard Aman call excitedly as he came running. Abhay looked at both of them and knew something had happened. He had taken Aman away so that they would be alone. But now looking at them he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.

" Abhay main Aman ko leke jaata hoon. Bimar pad jaayega. " Adarsh said and left with Aman.

" Chalo. Main tumhe chhod deta hoon room tak. Kaafi late ho gaya hai. " Abhay told her.

She told him she could go alone but when he insisted she gave in. They didn't talk. She was grateful to him for not asking any questions. As they reached her room Abhay said " Swadheenta tum aur bhai dono mere apne ho. Main kabhi bhai ko justify nahin karoonga but these last 5 years have been very hard on him. Woh bahut lonely feel karte hain. Guilt mein jee rahe hain. Anyway good night. "

As Abhay left Swadheenta stood thinking. What was happening? Where was everything heading to?

**********************