Marriages - Page 2

Originally posted by: -BebaakBegum-

Men as husbands/live-in partner is not my point. I am not talking about the said issues. I do not categorise people on the basis of Men or women. I categorise them on the basis of how they behave. Not to forget one indeed lives with brothers and fathers. I personally feel living with anyone can make you see a different side of theirs but that doesn't mean they change their corr totally, it's like calling men nothing but a specie of pretentious beings. Those who care, they care for real. Not denying that sometimes people who you live with do end up taking you for granted but like I said, a person does not simply become another person altogether.

Originally posted by: Angels11

Again you are missing the point. Husbands are different from Dads. My husband goes bat shit crazy when my daughter falls sick but doesn't bat an eye when I am. Even my own dad used to give me hot water massage during my periods but never used to care when my mom used to suffer every month. And where did I call men pretentious. They just don't get us. That's why many companies have gender sensitivity sessions and trainings. Men care but their way of caring is different from women. For eg Adi refused to come to the poetry session but gave Pooja 5 crore because she wanted to help her friend. This is his way of caring

This seems like such an endless argument to me. My dad is not at all caring while brother is. Same for my husband. There are several examples to quote. They obviously differ coz of personal experiences. Mothers are suppose to selfless and all but I know plenty cases myself when mothers have been extremely self-indulgent. I am just saying that the thought is too generic. Human beings are not made out of a mould. They differ and are wired differently. Also, they are not the same throughout their life either. People evolve for better or worse.
As for the pretentious tag-that was for the opinion that men act different outside in front of other women and different at home.

Also, I disagree giving money to your spouse on no questions basis is not caring. Think about the materiality of transaction, had it been 500 crore instead of 5 crore, would he give her that too? Just because he cares? As partners, you make all kinds of decisions together- There is nothing wrong about asking a partner where they intend to use the money coz there is no your money or my money in a family, whatever is the pool of funds, it's theirs jointly.

OMG!!! if there are this much complications in marriage, it's better not to get married and trouble ourselves and others

Originally posted by: -BebaakBegum-

This seems like such an endless argument to me. My dad is not at all caring while brother is. Same for my husband. There are several examples to quote. They obviously differ coz of personal experiences. Mothers are suppose to selfless and all but I know plenty cases myself when mothers have been extremely self-indulgent. I am just saying that the thought is too generic. Human beings are not made out of a mould. They differ and are wired differently. Also, they are not the same throughout their life either. People evolve for better or worse.
As for the pretentious tag-that was for the opinion that men act different outside in front of other women and different at home.

OK I give up since I dont want 2 argue either. But if u r claiming that all of us forget bt the gender behave the same at home, at office, with friends, with parents, with spouse, with relatives then I guess there is nothing left to discuss with u. All I am saying is:

1. Men ve different ways of showing that they care. Eg Adi doesnt go with her 4 poetry sessions but gave her money when she really needed it. My hubby never gifts me on my Bday or anniversary but suddenly on a whim buys Jalebis since he knows I like them or v had a big fight & its way of apologizing.
2. Most men do take the women in their life for granted. And tat includes both mom & wife. Coz they feel they r the ones who love them unconditionally so they need not pretend & can b themselves
3. Passion in marriage does fade & almost vanishes with years & aft kids. Most marriages become docile aft many yrs. In fact tats y most men & women cheat in their late 30s or early 40s since they no longer find romance in their marriages & crave 4 tat excitement. This applies for both genders. Due to society norms in India women bury their feelings & avoid EMA. Hence instances of infidelity might b higher among men than women here in India.
4. Its the CVs mistake tat they r unable 2 garner empathy for Pooja. I mean Poetry session r u kidding me. As an adult I find tat complaint too silly or kiddish. How many in the entire population ll like poetry leave alone attending a boring session? Is this even a reason?
5. Men dont understand subtle hints. You need 2 b direct with them.
6. Finally yes when they r watching TV or playing games they wont turn even if the world is coming 2 an end.

As of now its only Pooja who comes across as immature rather than Adi...

Originally posted by: -BebaakBegum-

Also, I disagree giving money to your spouse on no questions basis is not caring. Think about the materiality of transaction, had it been 500 crore instead of 5 crore, would he give her that too? Just because he cares? As partners, you make all kinds of decisions together- There is nothing wrong about asking a partner where they intend to use the money coz there is no your money or my money in a family, whatever is the pool of funds, it's theirs jointly.

Yeah so if he gives money w/o quest he doesnt care. Seriously???? I think u ve made up ur mind 2 just criticize Adi so as i said I give up. Honestly I dont even know what u r trying 2 argue. That men & women r same. That they react in the same manner in a given situation? Father, brother, lover, husband, son r all the same & the way u interact with them & they interact with u is the same. Lady I am seriously confused with ur arguments. Or mayb I am just not intelligent enuf...

Originally posted by: neon_girl

OMG!!! if there are this much complications in marriage, it's better not to get married and trouble ourselves and others

That's y in many western countries # of ppl marrying is reducing & folks divorcing is increasing. In Germany a huge % of the youth dont want 2 marry & ve kids. 1 of the main reason y Merkel decided 2 take in refugees. They ve an ageing population & no1 wants 2 marry & ve kids.

Originally posted by: Angels11

That's y in many western countries # of ppl marrying is reducing & folks divorcing is increasing. In Germany a huge % of the youth dont want 2 marry & ve kids. 1 of the main reason y Merkel decided 2 take in refugees. They ve an ageing population & no1 wants 2 marry & ve kids.

I'm that huge % of indian that doesn't want to marry EVERRR😆

Originally posted by: .SSS.

I think Pooja expected a perfect life which is so beautiful like one of her favorite poem or a painting. She expected her best friend to change like a husband and who can love her in the way she wanted and him to understand her feelings which are only shared with a diary but not with him. Here I agree she herself understood what Adi needs and she compromised for few things for him and expected same thing in return from hum. But all people can't be same. Adi at that stage of his life was not as matured as Pooja and he was needed to be told in amore direct way than Pooja's subtle communication.. Adi was not perfect he was a bit insensitive for small things but he could have definitely put efforts in their relationship if Pooja directly told that she is suffering in their relationship and feeling taken for granted or else she needs a passionate life.. Adi is not a perfect person but he is not bad either. I think same goes with Yash.. he was hiding so may things so that he can keep Zoya happy because he thinks Zoya can't handle but come on he was married to her ... Zoya has every right to share every emotion in his life ... Happy or sad.. and yeah may be Yash was also expecting Zoya will herself understand that he is actually in trouble times of his life and business only acting before her as everything is fine and at that time he met Pooja who can understand him before telling and can be with him in his tough times... Problem with Yash or Pooja is that they were pretending with their partners a happy life when they are really not happy and expecting them to understand and when they don't understand that they feel for each other that they are of same kind of people. I honestly feel that Zoya and Adi were so much better in their relationship when they felt something missing from their partners they are demanding them-Zoya demanding Yash to call every night when he is in office and Adi went to Pooja and sleeping in her lap when she herself is enjoying moon light outside which he doesn't like... May be Adi and Zo were a bit immature and selfish but that's how relationships work.. if you get angry for certain situation fight with your partner as much as you want put your side before him/her and sort it out if not getting sorted out fight until you find peace.. 😆 but bottling up your emotions and hiding your troubles and all doesn't really work.. these so called mature behaviour will only increase the gap...

If I imagine Pooja and Yash marriage.. may be for some years they will have perfect married life but there can be a chance that their interests may change with time and so their passion for each other.. Today Pooja is more interested in Art and Poetry but we never know after some years she may like Football more where as Yash will get fond of some other hobby and these two perfect people will keep on compromise with each other thinking that other still likes Poetry and both of them will attend Poetry nights when they actually want to do something else..😉

And if I imagine Zoya and Adi marriage being not so perfect people they are they always will be demanding with each other and Passion continues may be they might be having small fights in their relationship but they will get back to each other...

Having said all this I really do think Adi and Zo have to learn a few things from their past respective relationships where they are being delusional that they are in happy married life ...they need to grow with time but I want them to be in their character being little childish which can only keep their lifes more exiting..

Note: I am not married, even after marriage in future that I couldn't generalise men are like this and women are like that but I can say Pooja and Yash are one kind of people and Zo and Adi are another kind..

I am not generalizing the example here but only the core premise of the show. Which is that a guy & a girl may not b on the same wave length & when they get married this causes conflict in the married life. In many cases the couples r mature, understand the differences & try to work it out bef taking extreme steps. Here neither Pooja nor Adi had the maturity. Pooja never understood Adi & vice versa. 1 person here was arguing how she has lots of male friends & I s'd not stereotype or generalize. But tats the whole pt. Like the member who posted bt her friends here Pooja also thought her friend Adi w'd transition smoothly from friend 2 hubby role. Only aft getting married & living with tat person 24*7 u start scrutinizing his shortcomings. We forgive our friends easily but prolong our fights with spouse. Why? Because FRIEND <> SPOUSE. We ve different expectations frm a spouse as against a friend. This is wat the CVs r trying 2 show.

Originally posted by: Angels11

Yeah so if he gives money w/o quest he doesnt care. Seriously???? I think u ve made up ur mind 2 just criticize Adi so as i said I give up. Honestly I dont even know what u r trying 2 argue. That men & women r same. That they react in the same manner in a given situation? Father, brother, lover, husband, son r all the same & the way u interact with them & they interact with u is the same. Lady I am seriously confused with ur arguments. Or mayb I am just not intelligent enuf...

Huh? Oh you'd be surprised to know Aditya is the only character I actually enjoy watching in this show 😆 I find others really one note in terms of writing.
What I said is giving money to a spouse on no question basis proves nothing. Neither thst makes him good or bad. And Yes! That's exactly what I said Men and Women are not different coz of their sex but people in general irrespective of their sex behave differently.