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Angels11

@Angels11

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: -BebaakBegum-

Huh? Oh you'd be surprised to know Aditya is the only character I actually enjoy watching in this show 😆 I find others really one note in terms of writing.
What I said is giving money to a spouse on no question basis proves nothing. Neither thst makes him good or bad. And Yes! That's exactly what I said Men and Women are not different coz of their sex but people in general irrespective of their sex behave differently.

Wat i like bt tis serial is that the CVs r trying 2 show that it takes an effort frm both the guy & the girl to make a marriage work. Here clearly there r issues with both Pooja & Adi. Sorry but I really dislike Pooja. Most Indian women like me end up in arranged marriage hell. She at least had a head start by knowing Adi frm childhood. So if she was unable 2 make Adi understand her complaints & communicate with him then wat hope do women ve in arranged marriage where v marry a guy who is a stranger. I see immaturity more on Pooja's side. Contrary to popular opinion here I dont find Adi too immature. Only fault I can c is tat he failed 2 see the resentment in Pooja. Even Arjun noticed tat Pooja was miffed. But then many times an unbiased spectator sees more than the actual ppl. For eg a friend ll c tat his friend is crushing on a girl even bef that guy realizes it. I hate the way Pooja is trying to make a villain out of Adi & try 2 justify her cheating 😲

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Vidu

@V4o9

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

#22

P.S: Sorry am promoting violence but maybe you could kick him down there each night, then tell him to drink some water and go to sleep. And see how he likes it.

Jokes aside, you dont have to be married to empathize with Pooja. Majority here does not support her decision and I dont think its because they could not understand marriage or relationships in person.

Think.of the relationships we have with our parents. They do so much for us but no one can really say we know in depth whats going on in their minds unless they let us know. That does not mean we love them any less. Communication is key here be it siblings, spouses etc.

If Pooja could not talk to Adi about her problems, she is absolutely at fault. Adi cannot be faulted for not living her hobbies. She could refuse point blank to go with him to his interests. Apparently she just goes along for him but did not sound like he forced her to do that. Whats stopping her from telling him 'no'? He was open enough to tell her his dislikes. Having a spouse does not mean hanging out with each other all the time. You could do your own thing you know. If she told Adi, I think he would have worked it out with her. Marriage takes work from both sides...but unless the unhappy person does not talk about it, how will they start working on it? You really cant live a life on junoon alone.

Anyways Yash's pov is pending so lets hold on to any conclusions. If there was no suspense, the Cvs would not have left story half way in the episode.

Edited by V4o9 - 7 years ago

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@.SSSS.

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 7 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: Angels11

Wat i like bt tis serial is that the CVs r trying 2 show that it takes an effort frm both the guy & the girl to make a marriage work. Here clearly there r issues with both Pooja & Adi. Sorry but I really dislike Pooja. Most Indian women like me end up in arranged marriage hell. She at least had a head start by knowing Adi frm childhood. So if she was unable 2 make Adi understand her complaints & communicate with him then wat hope do women ve in arranged marriage where v marry a guy who is a stranger. I see immaturity more on Pooja's side. Contrary to popular opinion here I dont find Adi too immature. Only fault I can c is tat he failed 2 see the resentment in Pooja. Even Arjun noticed tat Pooja was miffed. But then many times an unbiased spectator sees more than the actual ppl. For eg a friend ll c tat his friend is crushing on a girl even bef that guy realizes it. I hate the way Pooja is trying to make a villain out of Adi & try 2 justify her cheating 😲

Hey Angels. It's just that she was trying to put her point it's not on gender basis how we categorise people but some men can be like how Pooja is expecting Adi to be.. even I feel so as per my observations though not having my own experience...

Even I feel that if being maturity is like being Pooja who is having her expectation in return of her self made adjustments for Adi.. and expecting him to understand himself and when he doesn't ...going and feeling it for this stranger whom she met in this Poetry night...then I really need to know more about what maturity is...😛

Honestly CV's have shown just one are two interactions between Pooja and Yash ..and Pooja already found her true love..

I don't want to contradict most of the people's opinions of Adi being immature.. when I myself couldn't define what is being mature or immature ...😆 I as of now can relate to Adi's immaturity more than Pooja's maturity..

Edited by .SSSS. - 7 years ago

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Sahithi.A

@Sahithi.A

Voyager

Posted: 7 years ago

#24

Interesting discussion and interesting POV.. what Pooja is unhappy about is more for the fictional space..

Pooja has a handsome and rich husband, someone who had been her friend and not some one whom she needs to understand or know from scratch.. in-laws who are unlike typical Indian in-laws, in fact her mother is staying with them and her husband is more close to her than his own mom, from what we have seen Adi cooks for Pooja as well as his mom-in-law...

Pooja doesnt necessarily need to slog all day in the kitchen or take responsibilities on her shoulders.. its a happy domestic setup.. no sis-in-law who bothers or judges her, in fact Arjun likes and empathises her more than his own brother.. Adi is not the kind to have affair with another girl if not a die hard romantic..

She doesnt need to toil all day and earn for her family or rather not forced to do that.. she is still pursuing her art interest after marriage.. Adi may not accompany Pooja to her places of interest but he is not stopping her as well..

I can for sure say atleast 75% of married girls in this country can only dream but dont have what Pooja has in her marital life.. most of them are dealing with other nonsense in their married life that having husband with common interests is a luxury for them...

For a starter, compare Zoya's husband and in-laws with Pooja's and you would know what I am saying..

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Akshita Taneja

@AkshitaWrites.

Dazzler

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#25

There's a lot of generalisation in this post. Not all men are like that. I have a boyfriend. And I am, by no means, comparing that to a marriage but I have seen him being more sensitive towards our relationship, sometimes even more than me. So, it's not like that.

Coming to Adi, I honestly feel like he never understood that it was a marriage, he treated it like living with his best friend. Hence, he didn't feel the need to please Pooja or entertain. Pooja, on the other hand, could've communicated with him about her issues instead of writing it in her diary. There are honestly so many things Pooja could've done but infidelity is never an option.

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Sandya

@Ssanjinika

Navigator

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#26

I haven't watched the episode yet but this is a great topic for discussion 😊

Shall be back!

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delena90

@delena90

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 7 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: -BebaakBegum-
That's a very generic view. I have met a lot of emotionally charged men. I am a mix of emotional but extemely practical person. To the extent that some who don't me well have often complained how I say all the things as a matter of fact devoid of any feeling but those close to me know that I enjoy heart to hearts and love the deeper connection over everything.
Married or Not Married is also not a condition that is required to give an opinion. Having a man in your life is enough imo, in any form.
Aditya seems to be a man run by emotions. He is not practical at all. He is impulsive and lacks logic so the point gets invalidated for Aditya especially.

Also, About the period thing- I've always been very vocal about my menstrual history. Like I said I say most things as a matter of fact. I remember I had to go an amusement park and two of my male friends called a few days before booking the tickets to make sure that is not the date I'm on period since that can get uncomfortable. Not all men my friend.

I agree with this. Men aren't idiots and subtlety can work with them if that is how you choose to communicate. However, I don't understand why people believe that in a marriage there is a need to be subtle. Communicate - be vocal whatever the issue. I have dated and now I am married and none of the men I have been in a relationship with have been insensitive about basic bodily functions like periods. Nor are they insensitive if you bring up issues that may be bothering you.

Men aren't mind readers. If something feels off in your marriage it is up to you to bring it up and tell your significant other. Everyone has their own work pressures and lives to lead and cannot be expected to constantly be in-tune with someone else's issues. Half the problem these days is people like Pooja think that life changes significantly post marriage. But as much as it changes there are a lot of things that stay the same and it is up to all of us to manage expectations. The breakdown for Pooja in her marriage was expectation management.

Marriage is hard work and just because you love someone doesn't mean your marriage will be rainbows and sunshine all the time. Did Aditya fail at working at it...maybe. Apart from him playing video games and waking up late it hasn't been made clear if Aditya was truly lacking as a husband. He seemed like he was supportive where it counts. A love marriage doesn't mean that it will be passionate and sexy all the time. Most days will be ordinary and mundane but that is life. How you approach it is what makes your marriage work.

Edited by delena90 - 7 years ago

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Angels11

@Angels11

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#28

Originally posted by: Sahithi.A
Interesting discussion and interesting POV.. what Pooja is unhappy about is more for the fictional space..
Pooja has a handsome and rich husband, someone who had been her friend and not some one whom she needs to understand or know from scratch.. in-laws who are unlike typical Indian in-laws, in fact her mother is staying with them and her husband is more close to her than his own mom, from what we have seen Adi cooks for Pooja as well as his mom-in-law...

Pooja doesnt necessarily need to slog all day in the kitchen or take responsibilities on her shoulders.. its a happy domestic setup.. no sis-in-law who bothers or judges her, in fact Arjun likes and empathises her more than his own brother.. Adi is not the kind to have affair with another girl if not a die hard romantic..

She doesnt need to toil all day and earn for her family or rather not forced to do that.. she is still pursuing her art interest after marriage.. Adi may not accompany Pooja to her places of interest but he is not stopping her as well..

I can for sure say atleast 75% of married girls in this country can only dream but dont have what Pooja has in her marital life.. most of them are dealing with other nonsense in their married life that having husband with common interests is a luxury for them...

For a starter, compare Zoya's husband and in-laws with Pooja's and you would know what I am saying..

THIS _/\_ Exactly y I immensely dislike Pooja. So far except being over enthusiastic bt football & video games I am unable to see how exactly Adi failed Pooja as a husband tat she was "FORCED" to look for love & companionship else where...

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427050

Suspended

Posted: 7 years ago

#29

I tried reading stuff to know if it was proven that women were more emotional than men.Both the articles I read gave proofs that there are certain emotions women expressed more and certain emotions men expressed more or with more intensity.An experiment found that men expressed more happiness over happy movies than women did while women reacted with greater sadness over sad movies.

Another experiment found that in relationships women felt more negative emotions when they felt rejected by their partners and men felt more negative emotions when their partners demanded more intimacy(what specific negative emotions men felt were not mentioned...perhaps shame that they couldn't satisfy their partners...idk)...the point is it is a possibility that adi would have FELT stuff had he known that pooja wanted more intimacy than he could provide.

But But But a third experience found that women recognized others' negative emotions with a greater frequency than men could.So perhaps it is true that many men need to be told about what you are feeling as they don't recognize or process it by themselves.

I agree and it is unbelievable that they haven't shown one scene of pooja trying to express her issues to adi,it is not even about men and women or husbands and wives.ANY person would first communicate their issues to their partner or would they start getting attracted to other person without feeling any guilt?

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Angels11

@Angels11

Rocker

+ 5

Posted: 7 years ago

#30

Originally posted by: AkshitaWrites.
There's a lot of generalisation in this post. Not all men are like that. I have a boyfriend. And I am, by no means, comparing that to a marriage but I have seen him being more sensitive towards our relationship, sometimes even more than me. So, it's not like that.
Coming to Adi, I honestly feel like he never understood that it was a marriage, he treated it like living with his best friend. Hence, he didn't feel the need to please Pooja or entertain. Pooja, on the other hand, could've communicated with him about her issues instead of writing it in her diary. There are honestly so many things Pooja could've done but infidelity is never an option.

Its funny how again & again folks keep posting I ve caring BF, I ve loving dads/brothers, sensitive friends etc. This is precisely y Pooja's marriage with Adi failed. And this is wat the CVs & I am trying 2 express. Life is not the same post marriage. Maniratnam showed tis beautifully in the movie Alaipayuthe! Few quests 2 u. Sorry for asking personal quests. Are u & ur BF living in the same house. Who cooks? Who does the dishes. Who cleans the toilets. Do ur respective parents know bt ur relationship. Do they come & visit frequently. Do they stay with u. What kinda dresses do u wear when his parents come over. At wat time do u wake up? How do u guys manage the finances? Do u ve a joint a/c? Who pays the bills. Do u guys plan 2 ve kids? When?

I am not expecting u 2 answer me since these r extremely personal quests. This is for u 2 understand wat entails marriage. All the above points come into play once u get married. This is what the CVs also r saying & Maniratnam also showed. How life changes post marriage. Both the guy & the girl need 2 adjust, adapt, change. How is live as BF-GF is different frm how u live as husband - wife. Ppl who r claiming tat they & their BF understand each other perfectly & can easily transition to the marriage phase r just not being realistic. There is more 2 marriage esp in a regressive patriarchal society like India. There is cultural differences as well how marriage, role of wife & women in general r perceived here.

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