Dear Son - RKB

While studying for my boards I pick up a new show to watch as it gives me motivation to finish studying and achieve my daily goals so I can watch an episode before I go to bed. For this part of my board exam I started watching Sons of Anarchy, a show about biker outlaws and their sense of family, loyalty, justice and brotherhood. The show is rather violent and far removed from the world YHM however human beings and relationships are the same no matter the surroundings. So a desperate man trying to be a 'good' man and a 'good' father will have the same struggle in the world of a biker gang as in the world of a successful CEO residing in New Delhi.

Following is a letter that I envision Raman would have written for his estranged and troubled son hoping there would come a day when his son would understand the meaning of being a man and a father, the meaning of life and struggle of maintaining a balance between what's right and what feels right.

This is heavily borrowed from Jax Teller's (Son's of Anarachy protagonist) monologue, bold is my work, rest is borrowed from the brilliant writers of Sons of Anarchy.

Posting it on G's request, feel free to rant, complain, love and hate the show. Use this space to do whatever you feel like.

Dear son,

When this reaches you I will be long gone from this materialistic world trying to make sense of the afterlife, I do not know whether I will be at the doorstep of God in heaven or burn in hell, rest assured wherever I will be in my afterlife, you will still be a part of me and in my thoughts like you were a part of my me when I was alive.

I wish I could have taught you about life, manhood, fatherhood, responsibilities, duties, love and family through example, but life had other plans. Your mom and I separated due to unfortunate circumstances and amongst the chaos of a messy divorce my kids got affected the most. That was my first mistake as a father, my priority should have been my kids' well being, I gave up on life and hence I gave up on you and Ruhi. I should have fought harder for you, for your childhood, for your innocence and for your well being. I was able to salvage my Ruhi but I failed you as a father, and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.

I was able to save Ruhi from my past with the help of Ishita, for you my second wife, for Ruhi her Ishima, and for me my lifeline. Her love transformed me into a man that Ruhi could proudly call her father. Son, I hope you find love in your life that can transform you into a humble, responsible, dutiful, faithful and a loving man.

Something happens when you find the right person, you heart starts racing, your dull life becomes colorful, all the problems became insignificant because life becomes significant. All your problems, all the noise -- gone. Nothing else to worry about except what's right in front of you. As I write this, I see Ishita returning home from her clinic, grabbing a cup of coffee and approaching me. I wish you that you find someone in your life who could bring a smile to your face with just a mug of coffee. Maybe that's the lesson for me today. To hold onto these simple moments. Appreciate them a little more.

Finding things that make you happy shouldn't be so hard. I know you'll face pain, suffering, hard choices. But you can't let the weight of it choke the joy out of your life. No matter what, you have to find the things that love you and run to them. There's an old saying, "That which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I don't believe that. I think things that try to kill you make you angry and your anger towards Ishita and I has not made you stronger, you have became sad and revengeful, the hatred towards us has consumed you and you are headed down a road of self destruction. This is my second mistake as a father, I should have slapped you and set you straight when you made your first criminal mistake, I should have sent you to juvenile detention but I became weak and let my blind love towards you dictate my actions. I let the man in me down to make the father in me win. Son remember that strength comes from the good things. Your family, your friends, the satisfaction of hard work. Those are the things that will keep you whole. Those are the things you hold onto when you're broken. Hatred always brews hatred, nothing productive comes out of a hateful life. It's hard not to love.

People, things, institutions. When they break your spirit and take pleasure in watching you bleed. Love is the only feeling that makes sense.

But I know what love does to a man. Tears him apart. Turns him into something he's not. Something he promised himself he'd never become. That's what I need to tell you. To let you know how hard I'm trying not to cave under the weight of all the awful things I feel in my heart. My love for you had turned me into a man I despise, a man who failed as father to Ruhi, a man who failed as a husband to Ishita and a man who failed as a son to his parents all because of my blind love for you. I hope when you have kids of your own you will realize that the choices a man makes to keep his family intact are not easy, every choice must be made with a delicate balance, a balance to ensure that the father, son and husband in me all win to see another day, another struggle.

Sometimes my life feels like a deadly balancing act. What I feel, slamming up against what I should do. Impulsive reactions racing to solutions miles ahead of my brain. When I look at my day, I realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life, I have no future, all I have is distraction and remorse. I chose to change my life of reaction to proactive action, I chose to let you go when things became impossible. That was my first win as a father, son, there comes a point where a man must decide how far must one go and when is the right time to let go. I tried, Ishita tried, Ruhi tried, the entire family tried but you had crossed into the path of hatred and self-destruction. You had to learn the value of relationships, love and family, I had to let you go. Son, I hope now with a little maturity under your belt you would have realized me letting you go was not out of hatred but out of love. Love for you, for my family, for my wife, for Ruhi and love for my life. Like all lost young men it was imperative for you to learn a few hard lessons of life on your own and it was time for you to meet the harsh reality of life. There will be days when you'll be forced to make decisions that affect the lives of everyone you love, choices that will change you forever. I made such a choice my letting you go, one day you will face such choices in your life and I hope you have the courage to make those difficult choices.

You reach an age when you realize that being a man isn't about respect or strength; it's about being aware of all the things you touch. Children face inward, wallow in their own selfish needs. Men face out, take action on the needs of others. I faced outward, took action and let you go. Being a man is to make difficult decisions for the betterment of others, son be a MAN and not a boy.

Make me proud son by being a MAN.

I hope life will be fair to you and grant you all the happiness in life, no one can take away the struggle, pain and hardship from life but your family, friends and the love of your life can give you strength to overcome all the hardships.

Be a man son, have the courage to LOVE and see your life transform into a beautiful dream.

Love,

RKB.

Your old man.

• for you my second wife, for Ruhi her Ishima, and for me my lifeline.
  
  
• This is my second mistake as a father, I should have slapped you and set you straight when you made your first criminal mistake, I should have sent you to juvenile detention but I became weak and let my blind love towards you dictate my actions. I let the man in me down to make the father in me win.
  
  
• My love for you had turned me into a man I despise, a man who failed as father to Ruhi, a man who failed as a husband to Ishita and a man who failed as a son to his parents all because of my blind love for you. I hope when you have kids of your own you will realize that the choices a man makes to keep his family intact are not easy, every choice must be made with a delicate balance, a balance to ensure that the father, son and husband in me all win to see another day, another struggle.
  
  
• When I look at my day, I realize that most of it was spent cleaning up the damage of the day before. In that life, I have no future, all I have is distraction and remorse.
  
  
• You reach an age when you realize that being a man isn't about respect or strength; it's about being aware of all the things you touch. Children face inward, wallow in their own selfish needs. Men face out, take action on the needs of others

Brilliant post Doc!! 👏 I had faith that what was churning in your mind would turn into a gem of a post and that's why I asked you to make a post...as this gives some insight into his struggle as also some advice to what RKB could do...and if the CVs are looking for closure to track...they can borrow this...without giving you credit😉😆

The whole complaint about the track for me is that while trying to establish the position of Shagun and Adi in the Bhalla house, RKB,the father was gradually reverted to RKB, the majboor baap. And that is sure an eyesore. I put in bullets the parts from your write up that just touched my heart as YHM is as human as it's possible in tellyworld and today I saw the struggle of a father and a husband...a righteous human vs obsessed one, within himself...the two extremes of RKB that he needs to balance somehow and prevent the free-fall to doom his indecision is pushing his own life and his other two loved ones:Ruhi and Ishita's too.

Great post Doc.

for RKB:

RES...

---EDIT---

This is so beautiful Doc, I am so glad you decided to pop in. It's very poignant, reads very honest and certainly contains the kin of message I wish could be imparted between father nad son. I really love the idea of a real letter, I know that's close to your heart as well. The little nuggets about ISHRU, said in passing but expressing so beautifully the truth and depth of the bond they all share. I am really very impressed.

As for your posts G- what can I say? I never thought I could appreciate a collage on Shagun so much... let's just leave it at that!🤣

I have loved everyone's posts this weekend.. .i just needed some time to process my disappointment. I'm not even mad, I was so disappointed by the track. The fact that a show which targets and maintains a largely female fan base, which initially claimed to portray a 'different sort of love story' then takes such a typical, demeaning route is very frustrating. We deserve better.

As for today, I am just going to ramble on some things that struck me as I tried to wrap my head around the last several episodes. I hope that you can indulge me.

Initially I was of the group that advocated Ishita packing up and leaving the Bhalla household , leaving the family to their own devices. I no longer feel that is right- ishita needs to fight, not for her man or her family but for herself. And she needs to fight smart- to know the enemy is to defeat the enemy so why not beat SHADHI at their own game using the same tactics? Ishita can be more cunning then SHADHI, she can play a double game as well as them i am sure- so why not give them a taste of their own medicine. She is an educated woman who found her way into the hearts of a family of wherein most of them were objecting her entrance. She finally found the loves of her life, a home in which she is essential and the life she has always deserved- why should she walk away from all that to entertain the whims of a woman who uses men like tissue paper and her easily manipulated spawn? I think she should stay in her house and make them dance to her tune, she certainly has enough motive to make it happen.

As for RKB, I really hope that the flickers of intelligence that seemed to reemerge in his eyes today do not disappear once more upon the return of the prodigal son and his baggage. Raman needs to come to his own realization of the reality of his situation and become his own knight in shining armor rather then expecting Ishita to rescue and reaffirm this relationship as she has almost every other relationship in his life. And much like all of you I hope that he becomes a parent to his son rather then the adoring friend he is now being. If I recall correctly, the idea of parenting and being a good parent to Adhi being defined by providing discipline and structure and not giving into his every whim was touched during the accident track, as well as the boiling water (🤢) incident. But in each instance, it was mentioned and never fully followed through as soon as the next 'incident' emerged. RKB needs to come to this realization on his own and follow through or he will forever be cleaning up his son's mess. This kind of inconsistent 'parenting' can also lead to resentment between Adhi & Ruhi, something that is already showing the seeds of growth.

But to be honest as much I want all this happen, I have serious doubts as to the major push that will make it all so. I think the most likely catalyst will be Ruhi being hurt by SHADHI and her parents witnessing that act. The little hand that joined their hearts together is the one that will force them to take up their armor and protect her against the intruders in their happy home.

The mention of Lohri in today's episode and the importance it has to the ISHRARU family unit also can't be ignored, I do believe that is the event where the climax of this track will take place. I know that the ISHRA that emerge from the carnage of this battlewill be stronger and more than those that entered, but I do hope that the CVs give this track a proper conclusion and address some of the most stinging issues that have loomed over this track and the ones previous through proper , honest communication.

ISHRA need to recognize that they need to be their own heroes, as well as a shield of protection for their daughter and life- because as much as they are a unit they are also two very strong, capable, intelligent individuals being manipulated by a woman who only sees RKB as a dollar sign. That simply makes no sense at all.

On a completely different note- Simmi looked really pretty today...😆

Here's hoping for a twist in the story that will finally make it worth enjoying again.

#22 normal episodes until ISHRAnniversary!😳


And because sometimes words are not enough:

For G and your amazing contribution to this thread..


For Doc and your incomparable skill with the written word:


And for the both of your for all your efforts.. always:

Originally posted by: GanBarunFan

This is my self-prescribed medicine to ward off the episode blues ..I posted it in the other thread ,,,but reposting here...😉

No offence meant .. But I'm one of those who express better with visual aids...and today I had to make this collage... 😆

"Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion. " Kate Reid

Oh Doc (if I may call you that)...

Beautiful :) loved reading every word. As of now the fear of loosing adi has engulfed raman so much such that he inspite of knowing the reality chooses to tread on the opposite path. He knows ishita wasn't wrong , he knows shagun is behind the fiasco , he knows ishita doesnt needs to apologise but he still can't do anything as his love for aditya has over powered his soul :(

That was one brilliant write-up @eyes-wide-shut(Doc?). The way you have explored RKB's various choices and his feelings for his son and his family is heart-touching.

RES (brought forward from Gan Di's post)